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    (Original post by DOA)
    send me a pm, I would be happy to chat if you want and discuss your problems with you. I will not post your user name or anymore details here if you do

    plus I have something nice to say about EVERYONE so I will be a failure if I cant say something nice about you
    sorry i want to stay anon
    plus it makes me want to cry when you feel sorry for me :'(

    you've already succeeded by offering me such a nice option so no chance of failures

    i just want nice people in the world like you to like me without feeling sorry for me.
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    (Original post by Eien)
    Don't we all? I know the feeling since I'm 23 and to this day I am generally ignored as far as being a potential love interest is concerned, even though I have many close friends, but what I would suggest is to be that person that loves yourself. I hate it when people merely suggest to love yourself, so I will give a couple of ways of actually HOW you can go about starting to do it. Firstly I would start to imagine feelings of intense love, affection, attraction, in whatever way is good to you and imagine being another person feeling that for you. Try to explore the feelings as deeply as possible and be that person that can create this feeling inside yourself, or do whatever you can to elicit these feelings - for me it is singing. I use this as a tool to battle against those inevitable negative and self defeating emotions that crop up from time to time about nobody being interested. This is what I have worked out for myself from my own experience - hopefully it can help others.
    thnaks yh i've imagined all these as well the intense love,affection and attraction but it makes me feel worse
    cos then i think that i will only dream these things and it will never happen.

    infact i've found an exact song about it as well
    Elvis costello-I want you...

    and yh i ifnd singing really useful too..i;ve done it the past 2 years but it's like not working anymore i've kinda gone in and out of the phase you've described and i feel empty now.
    as a child i used to be sooooooooooo cheerful&chatty and wild..it was unbelibevable..
    maybe i was too young to realise how lonely i was..
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    (Original post by gleamingsun)
    I will keep smiling at you until I see you smiling. I'm not in a hurry so I can wait. I know that at the end I will see your smile.
    but i've gone through th pollyanna phase it ddoesn't work anymore
    how do you plan make me smile? plusn how long can you wait for?

    eventually you'll get bored of me&leave me

    how do you know i will smile? when?
    i've lost hope of this
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    but i've gone through th pollyanna phase it ddoesn't work anymore
    how do you plan make me smile? plusn how long can you wait for?

    eventually you'll get bored of me&leave me

    how do you know i will smile? when?
    i've lost hope of this
    I have gone through it too. I'm spending Christmas alone and I will not see my family till 23rd January. I have reached the bottom. And I did not find a way out, eventually I realise the only way out was the eternal smile inside me. So every time I smile at you I want you to see your own inner smile too. And be happy. The only way of making someone hate you is hating him. The only way of making someone smile is smiling at him. Or at her. I'm willing to wait any period required. As I said I'm not in a hurry. I will not get bored because smiling is the only thing I cannot be bored as I have infinite reasons to smile. I will know you are smiling when you tell me. But please, don't lose your hope. Do it for me.
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    (Original post by hass147)
    Confidence issues.

    You need to have more self-belief, I think you're putting too much precedence on finding a relationship.

    You need to be happy and love yourself before you can love others. Live life with a bit more carelessness and don't take these things so seriously, it will benefit you greatly and you'll find the person you'll truly be happy with that way.
    i dont want a relationship.that's not my priority..

    i 've done what you've mentioned in the 2nd paragraph for the past 2 years. it dod work but it doesn't work anymore..cos i cant pretend being happy and nothing is changing
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    i dont want a relationship.that's not my priority..

    i 've done what you've mentioned in the 2nd paragraph for the past 2 years. it dod work but it doesn't work anymore..cos i cant pretend being happy and nothing is changing
    Right that's fair enough, not necessarily a relationship, more so you want some more care which is natural as everyone needs care, love and devotion of some kind.

    The problem is it doesn't always come by itself and it varies depending on your situation, your approach, your mentality, your environment and some of it is just luck (only some). I'm getting the feeling you might be quite shy perhaps? You're not alone as there are many people with the same worry as you. One thing I will say is, firstly you need to open up and be yourself without fear of what other people think. If this turns out to not fit with where you are, you may need to find the intelligent sort of people that it will be alright with. You seem smart anyway, I can't see why you wouldn't be able to socialise and have people caring about you.

    You might think I'm delving a bit into your personal life here, but do you mind shedding a bit more light as to your daily situation? This is to help you further and make advice more specific and familiar to you, it makes things a lot easier.

    • Would you say you have a shy personality?
    • Any complaints with social life?
    • Do you go to school with peers?
    • Do you feel you experience disregard and neglect?
    • Do you get regularly depressed?
    • Are you older than school age?
    • Do you have a close circle of friends?
    • Do you believe you're 'ugly'?
    • Any particular hobbies/interests relevant to personality?
    • Anything else to describe your life pattern and experiences that might be relevant?


    If you don't want to answer these then I can understand; the thing is there isn't a simple answer with the very limited amount of background knowledge you've told us so far. Feel free to send a private message if you'd feel more comfortable disclosing background information confidentially.

    Believe in yourself, you definitely have it in you.
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    Just take it cool and dont be too much in a hurry,grow at your own pace,dont worry the right ones dat will value and appreciate u will come.Dont force youself on them by doing things dat are not proper,like exposing yourself or trying to create scenes.Just be Youself.let God be your hope.
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    yh that would be different us 3 would be great but it's not easy to find :/

    no absoloutely not..you're not intruding plus i'm anon so it doesn't matter
    i'm not sure what makes me so attached...
    i guess it's the feeling of holding onto someone,depending,trusting.
    i'm not really sure...
    i just want him around constantly..sometimes it gets so bad that i don't even care if he like me or not..
    I just want to be able to love him.it's ok if he just stays next to me..
    i dunnno i think i'm going mental.
    thanks for being so understanding&friendly
    there are caring guys in the world it's great to know
    i'm still considering the msn option and thanks for it but
    1) i wont be myself cos you'll be feeling sorry for me while writing to me which i won't be able to bare
    2)I'll probably start basing my life around you eventually even if i see you as a friend at first.you sound like a nice guy so being friends won't work unfortunately
    I wasn't offering so I could feel sorry for you - just to be a friend. I mean, look at the amount of support you're getting. Everyone here is offering advice and trying to show understanding and support. I already saw someone else offer to speak to you via pm. We're not doing this to feel sorry for you - we're generally trying to make you feel better about yourself

    Do you have any good friends now? What do you do for an occupation? Again, just curious.

    I still don't understand how you say that you're glad that there are nice guys in the world, but that being friends with any "nice guy" would never work because they're "nice".
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    sorry i want to stay anon
    plus it makes me want to cry when you feel sorry for me :'(

    you've already succeeded by offering me such a nice option so no chance of failures

    i just want nice people in the world like you to like me without feeling sorry for me.
    I dont feel sorry for you, you just sound like a good person whos had some bad luck
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    even geeky "nice" guys dont see me.
    ***** please.
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    Every1 has their Mr. Right somewere. dont lose hope, and trust me there i someone somewhere for you and, maybe he is around you somewhere but u just dont realise.

    GUD LUCK
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    i want a guy to like me.for my personality looks i dont care what it is anymore.
    not even like me but compliment me at least.even being friends with them i dont mind.
    i want to feel like a girl.i've tried everything, it's not working.it's like i'm invisible.
    even geeky "nice" guys dont see me.
    i dont know what to do..i'm fed up.
    the answer to all your problems
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    really? me intelligent?but why? how comes? thanks anyway
    or is it sarcastic
    Well i dont know you so intelligent is the nicest thing i could think off.
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    everyone loves a bit of attention, or a compliment. but only if you give, shall you receive /end of philosophical musings.
 
 
 
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