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    (Original post by there's too much love)
    From the way you've phrased it I think I should point out a lot of that is what I was trying to say.
    Haha I thought it might have been.

    Cant see why anyone would have a problem with asexuality, it obviously would have no affect on them. Unless of course a very attractive member of the opposite sex had no interested and it's made them bitter about it.
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    (Original post by joey11223)
    Haha I thought it might have been.

    Cant see why anyone would have a problem with asexuality, it obviously would have no affect on them. Unless of course a very attractive member of the opposite sex had no interested and it's made them bitter about it.
    "the opposite sex" implies that sex is binary...

    I can't see why people have a problem with other peoples sexuality, just because they have desires it does not mean that they will full fill them, or that their desires are part of what they want to be real life.
    • #2
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    (Original post by TheSownRose)
    I don't personally see the point and get nothing from it, but lots of asexuals do. It's not lack of a sex drive necessarily, just lack of sexual attraction.
    I'd say it was the opposite, actually. Most people I know who identify as asexuals are still sexually attracted to people, they just don't have a desire for sex (ie a sex drive) much of the time.

    From your posts on the forum, I'd suggest you simply haven't met anyone you're attracted to yet, rather than being asexual. Most asexuals I know masturbate, are sexually attracted to people and have sex (if they're in a relationship . We can get turned on in 'sexy' scenarios, or by watching porn and using toys. The key difference with asexuality isn't a lack of interest in sex as a whole, it's just that we don't desire it constantly like other people do. While I guess that could manifest as having absolutely zero interest in anyone sexually (like you), I've never met anyone who met that description.

    I consider myself asexual. I am still sexually attracted to guys, and when I have sex I enjoy it. I masturbate too. But the difference between me and most people is that I could quite happily never have sex again without any frustration, and while I enjoy sex I'll never initiate it (but if my boyfriend does, I don't generally refuse unless I have a particular reason).
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    I'd say it was the opposite, actually. Most people I know who identify as asexuals are still sexually attracted to people, they just don't have a desire for sex (ie a sex drive) much of the time.

    From your posts on the forum, I'd suggest you simply haven't met anyone you're attracted to yet, rather than being asexual. Most asexuals I know masturbate, are sexually attracted to people and have sex (if they're in a relationship . We can get turned on in 'sexy' scenarios, or by watching porn and using toys. The key difference with asexuality isn't a lack of interest in sex as a whole, it's just that we don't desire it constantly like other people do. While I guess that could manifest as having absolutely zero interest in anyone sexually (like you), I've never met anyone who met that description.

    I consider myself asexual. I am still sexually attracted to guys, and when I have sex I enjoy it. I masturbate too. But the difference between me and most people is that I could quite happily never have sex again without any frustration, and while I enjoy sex I'll never initiate it (but if my boyfriend does, I don't generally refuse unless I have a particular reason).
    Sexuality is subjective.

    If I were you, I would considered myself to have low sex drive as opposed to being asexual, but if you think of yourself as asexual, it's not wrong.
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    (Original post by there's too much love)
    "the opposite sex" implies that sex is binary...

    I can't see why people have a problem with other peoples sexuality, just because they have desires it does not mean that they will full fill them, or that their desires are part of what they want to be real life.
    pfft fine, but since asexuals are not concerned with either sex it was easier to compare with a heterosexual example, no offence but we're a majority.

    but aye I have no idea. That girl posted her liking a jungle roleplay yesterday, some saying it was weird. Pfft that's much more unusual stuff, what she had wasn't even a fetish. The dark corners of the internet show how..exotic, sexual arousal can be. On another forum I sig quote this as I like it..I might add it here too..

    "Like allergies, sexual arousal may occur from anything under the sun, including the sun"
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    (Original post by joey11223)
    pfft fine, but since asexuals are not concerned with either sex it was easier to compare with a heterosexual example, no offence but we're a majority.

    but aye I have no idea. That girl posted her liking a jungle roleplay yesterday, some saying it was weird. Pfft that's much more unusual stuff, what she had wasn't even a fetish. The dark corners of the internet show how..exotic, sexual arousal can be. On another forum I sig quote this as I like it..I might add it here too..

    "Like allergies, sexual arousal may occur from anything under the sun, including the sun"
    Question I once got asked: if you're asexual, you remove the sexual component from attraction. Using the 'standard model' is emotional, physical and sexual attraction, that means you're left with emotional and physical.

    Without any sexual attraction, does it mean asexuals that are romantic are more likely than the general population to be bi/homo-romantic?

    I'm not sure. Personally, I can feel attraction to both sexes, although only ever feel inclined to act on those towards guys ... but I could have been like that if I had been sexual as well. :dontknow:
    • #2
    #2

    (Original post by TheSownRose)
    Sexuality is subjective.

    If I were you, I would considered myself to have low sex drive as opposed to being asexual, but if you think of yourself as asexual, it's not wrong.

    I'm aware sexuality is subjective. I don't have a low sex drive, I have zero sex drive. I'm turned on when I am 'actively' stimulated, but that's a purely physical reaction. My point though was that people probably don't understand what you mean by 'asexual' because you don't really fit the definition of asexual that most people use (from my experience). I know quite a lot of people who consider themselves asexual, yet I have honestly never met anyone who has never been sexually attracted to another person, other than people with personality disorders or autism.
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    (Original post by TheSownRose)
    Question I once got asked: if you're asexual, you remove the sexual component from attraction. Using the 'standard model' is emotional, physical and sexual attraction, that means you're left with emotional and physical.

    Without any sexual attraction, does it mean asexuals that are romantic are more likely than the general population to be bi/homo-romantic?

    I'm not sure. Personally, I can feel attraction to both sexes, although only ever feel inclined to act on those towards guys ... but I could have been like that if I had been sexual as well. :dontknow:
    So...physically what do you do? Because personally although sex isn't the top of my priorities list, caressing a partner has sexual undertones..seems most physical content has a sexual relation to it even if you don't follow them..
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    (Original post by joey11223)
    pfft fine, but since asexuals are not concerned with either sex it was easier to compare with a heterosexual example, no offence but we're a majority.

    but aye I have no idea. That girl posted her liking a jungle roleplay yesterday, some saying it was weird. Pfft that's much more unusual stuff, what she had wasn't even a fetish. The dark corners of the internet show how..exotic, sexual arousal can be. On another forum I sig quote this as I like it..I might add it here too..

    "Like allergies, sexual arousal may occur from anything under the sun, including the sun"
    You seem to think that 'heterosexual' is a viable categorisation. I'm not sure I agree.

    Firstly calling it the opposite sex raises problems in itself.

    Secondly, see post #28 (it might be 24? I think it's 28) that I posted in this thread about an hour ago.
    There seem to be some unanswered questions raised by the idea of 'hetro' ,'homo' and 'bi' sexuality.
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    I'm aware sexuality is subjective. I don't have a low sex drive, I have zero sex drive. I'm turned on when I am 'actively' stimulated, but that's a purely physical reaction. My point though was that people probably don't understand what you mean by 'asexual' because you don't really fit the definition of asexual that most people use (from my experience). I know quite a lot of people who consider themselves asexual, yet I have honestly never met anyone who has never been sexually attracted to another person, other than people with personality disorders or autism.
    Is a personality disorder just a personality that is 'abnormal'?
    Is it a medical condition?
    I've never understood the term.
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    I'm aware sexuality is subjective. I don't have a low sex drive, I have zero sex drive. I'm turned on when I am 'actively' stimulated, but that's a purely physical reaction. My point though was that people probably don't understand what you mean by 'asexual' because you don't really fit the definition of asexual that most people use (from my experience). I know quite a lot of people who consider themselves asexual, yet I have honestly never met anyone who has never been sexually attracted to another person, other than people with personality disorders or autism.
    In my experience, most asexuals use the lack of sexual attraction definition ... but that's not to say the asexuals in your experience are wrong about it.
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    (Original post by TheSownRose)
    Question I once got asked: if you're asexual, you remove the sexual component from attraction. Using the 'standard model' is emotional, physical and sexual attraction, that means you're left with emotional and physical.

    Without any sexual attraction, does it mean asexuals that are romantic are more likely than the general population to be bi/homo-romantic?

    I'm not sure. Personally, I can feel attraction to both sexes, although only ever feel inclined to act on those towards guys ... but I could have been like that if I had been sexual as well. :dontknow:
    Don't forget about intersexuals.
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    (Original post by there's too much love)
    You seem to think that 'heterosexual' is a viable categorisation. I'm not sure I agree.

    Firstly calling it the opposite sex raises problems in itself.

    Secondly, see post #28 (it might be 24? I think it's 28) that I posted in this thread about an hour ago.
    There seem to be some unanswered questions raised by the idea of 'hetro' ,'homo' and 'bi' sexuality.
    I suppose you have a point, though personally I wouldn't class myself as bi-sexual in any way. I can see myself being affectionate to males but not sexuality at all, incredibly unattractive prospect, my paraphilia is also highly waited towards females. I suppose the best way to think of it is a sliding scale, some are right up there in total heterosexual, some are totally gay, some are bi-sexual, some prefer women but would consider males, etc.
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    I've never met anyone who is asexual, as I have never met anyone who has succesfully reproduced with themselves.
    • #2
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    (Original post by there's too much love)
    Is a personality disorder just a personality that is 'abnormal'?
    Is it a medical condition?
    I've never understood the term.
    I wasn't sure of the best way to phrase it, so I wasn't using the term in a scientific sense. I meant people who either have a recognised condition which means their social abilities in general are different from the norm, or people who simply have unusual social needs/abilities.
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    (Original post by joey11223)
    So...physically what do you do? Because personally although sex isn't the top of my priorities list, caressing a partner has sexual undertones..seems most physical content has a sexual relation to it even if you don't follow them..
    I meant physically as aesthetic, but this is also a valid question.

    I'm not a very physical person at any time, so touching anyone is significant as an expression of deep trust. I suppose on my part, it's that - a desire to be closer and express that you love and trust them.
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    (Original post by TheSownRose)
    I meant physically as aesthetic, but this is also a valid question.

    I'm not a very physical person at any time, so touching anyone is significant as an expression of deep trust. I suppose on my part, it's that - a desire to be closer and express that you love and trust them.
    ah right sorry.

    What about cuddling? Hugging friends? That's rather platonic so I'd assume that sort of affection is possible, even if as an individual you're not the hugging type, it doesn't mean the root cause is the asexuality...if that makes sense?
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    I wasn't sure of the best way to phrase it, so I wasn't using the term in a scientific sense. I meant people who either have a recognised condition which means their social abilities in general are different from the norm, or people who simply have unusual social needs/abilities.
    A sexuality seems to be something that isn't part of the norm. In which case it looks like it'll always fall to people who are considered to be 'outside of the norm' as 'sexuality' (whatever that even is exactly) seems to be very important in society.
    Whether used in a scientific sense or not the term 'disorder' when used to describe someone's personality seems to be some what lacking in coherency when applied and not left in the theoretical context.
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    (Original post by Profesh)
    Do you have any authority for this half-arsed conjecture?

    You can look up various studies showing the psychological part in 'attractiveness'. The bottom line is men and women will be most strongly attracted to those that they believe will pass on desirable traits to give their offspring the best chance at life. Think of it like selective breeding, but in humans. If choice were eliminated from the equation, most women would select the tall, muscular man who is financially sound. He has good genetics and will provide for their children. Look up any kind of dating FAQ or how-to in any womens or mens magazine and they will talk about confidence, walking upright etc.

    So we've found out what makes us attracted to certain people, so how does that work exactly? Well it's a nervous pathway. Our eyes (receptors) see the desirable trait that we like (wide hips for childbirth, for example) and relay that information to our brain, which secretes hormones/electrical impulses along neurones to the sexual glands. These impulses or hormones then provoke the release of sex hormones which give the feeling of arousal (boner/wetty).

    A slight genetic mutation can cause several things which impede this. Receptors and hormones are very specific, like enzymes. A lock and key, if you will. If there is even a slight change to the initial genetic code of the protein structure for the hormone receptor (as brought about by a genetic mutation) they wont fit, and the response wont occur (the release of the hormones provoking arousal).

    The above is simplified of course, because the real pathway would takes pages to write out.
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    (Original post by joey11223)
    I suppose you have a point, though personally I wouldn't class myself as bi-sexual in any way. I can see myself being affectionate to males but not sexuality at all, incredibly unattractive prospect, my paraphilia is also highly waited towards females. I suppose the best way to think of it is a sliding scale, some are right up there in total heterosexual, some are totally gay, some are bi-sexual, some prefer women but would consider males, etc.
    That still presupposes a binary sex distinction.
    Moreover it doesn't take into account attraction directed towards sensations or inanimate objects, or non-human beings, or attraction based on other things than sex yet still directed towards humans.

    The sliding scale you've provided so far has a few holes in it...:/
 
 
 
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