Being a 'gentleman' Watch

Dirac Delta Function
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#41
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#41
(Original post by Milky Milk)
Since when was being polite demeaning?

Try having a permanent glass ceiling ahead of you because you have a vagina.
Can I get it the other way round, have a permanent vagina over my head because I have a glass ceiling?
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Post Apocalypse
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#42
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#42
(Original post by Milky Milk)
Try having a permanent glass ceiling ahead of you because you have a vagina.
What do you mean by this exactly?
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micky022
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#43
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#43
(Original post by Post Apocalypse)
What do you mean by this exactly?
MilkyMilk took it upon herself to derail a thread on chivalry with the gender equality debate.
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TheFlyingDutchman
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#44
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#44
(Original post by im so academic)
Being a gentleman is not about opening ****ing doors.

It's about caring for your girl and spending time with her and enjoying her company.

Men who think being a gentleman is doing stuff for her - :rolleyes:
Oh Rly ?

So what about all the guys out there who spend time with their partners, enjoy their comany and also beat them ? Or say horrible things to them. You can care for someone and hurt them you know.

You haven't mentioned one thing about how you treat a person. It's easy to care for someone but your actions define show people who you truly are. They tell your girl and everyone around you how you feel about her. When I step outside a restaurant and put my blazer on my gf's shoulders before we go for a walk people know that I put her own comfort before my own. I don't mind if I'm a bit nippy as long as she's ok. It's probably nice for her to know that as well.

You're right it's not about opening a door, it's about what opening a door symbolises. For me it stands for respect and shows that you care about someone.

I guarantee you that you cannot find a woman (or man for that matter) to whom love is enough. We all need romantic gestures to symbolise that our other half cares about us. Especially when the relationship has been going on for a while.

Then again you are about 12 so I forgive you for your silly response.
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TheFlyingDutchman
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#45
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#45
(Original post by JaiiStarh)
You're lovely

That is all
Aww thanks
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surina_xxx
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#46
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#46
(Original post by Onwards and Upwards!)
You must either be a feminist (who has taken it waaaay too far), a chav, or frankly just rude?

How can you possibly not appreciate such a compliment or a sign of decency as one person opening a door for another? I would still open the door for you, not to annoy but because your a lady... and as modern and hip as Britain may be, there is still a way of doing things...
firstly i'm not a feminist or a chav
I don't mind it when random people open the door and stuff but it's annoying when your dating someone and they are just being so gentelmanly and it can get annoying after a while. That's how i personally see, if they do it a few times then it's ok but i just don't like it when guys make a huge deal of acting like a gentleman!
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malaikah
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#47
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#47
(Original post by Anonymous)
I'm all for doing gentlemanly things for girls - opening doors, carrying heavy stuff etc. - but does it ever get to the point where it's actually kinda demeaning for the guy? Making him seem like some kind of servant?

Anyone get what I mean?
I think it's a question of why he's doing it. He should want to take care and look after her, so she feels good. And she should show that she appreciates it!
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Tenbinza
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#48
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#48
I hold doors open for pretty much everyone unless I seriously dislike them.
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NaturalDisaster
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#49
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#49
(Original post by twelve)
Its true we can do it ourselves, but I like it when a guy does any of these things. I can do it myself, but its nice that someone else will offer. Its sort of a tradition anyway - that the men do all these things. I guess its also a tradition that women are weak and second class citizens etc, but that isn't a ncie tradition. Its not really demeaning for the man, because its not like he has to suffer to do any of it. So if he's carrying something heavy, he isn't going to struggle with it as much as a woman - just because its afact that in general, men are stronger than women (obviously, not counting really muscley women)



It isn't just men who do this either - its just tradition that it has always been men. If a woman held open a door for a man, it would just be taken as being polite, but if a man did it, its being a gentleman. I do see the other point though, about going too far with it - but thats all it is, its going too far. There's a difference between opening the door for someone, and rushing ahead to open EVERY door for them.


Why?
Unless they're carrying something heavy there's no reason for anyone with dignity to go rushing in front of people to open every door for them. :lol:
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Bslforever
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#50
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#50
(Original post by Milky Milk)
You should be proud of that remark. It doesn't make you sound completely childish at all... :rolleyes:
Ahh chill out why don't you? There is no point in getting so easily wound up - a rather childish trait don't you think?
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IndigoRockGirl
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#51
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#51
If the girl is indignant when you don't do it I guess, but otherwise it's just being polite x
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SuperStarr1
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#52
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#52
Not sure if this is that relevant but a while ago, I was going towards the Metro holder thing to pick up a paper, and the guy in front of me got it for me. Awww lol.. This is Central London at rush hour, it seriously made my day. I love nice people .
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RequiemForADream
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#53
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#53
(Original post by twelve)

It isn't just men who do this either - its just tradition that it has always been men. If a woman held open a door for a man, it would just be taken as being polite, but if a man did it, its being a gentleman. I do see the other point though, about going too far with it - but thats all it is, its going too far. There's a difference between opening the door for someone, and rushing ahead to open EVERY door for them.

Agreed.
Both men and women should do it really, but it is traditional for the man to make the habit of it - just like approaching members of the opposite sex, it is up to the man to put himself out there and make the first move.
And lets be honest, holding a door open for someone is hardly challenging, and if it makes someone elses day a little easier then why not?
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iamnotasealion
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#54
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#54
My boyfriend insists on opening the car door for me, despite the fact he almost always has to do this hasty little skip thing to reach the passenger side before I do.

He's stuck somewhere between chivalrous and just plain stubborn.
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Charlottelisabeth
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#55
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#55
The one thing I really dislike is people doing stuff for me because they want to impress me or feel obligated to do it.
I hate it when a guy pulls a chair out for me or when a guy constantly goes ahead of me just so he can hold the door open for me. I mean, I have my own hands, I can open a door myself, (esp a car door, ugh that can be frustrating!), I can pull my own chair out!

It's ok if a guy does it on occassion, but not all the time! Also, if a guy feels like he does want to do this for someone they like or a gf for example then it should just come naturally, he shouldn't have to feel like a servant or like it's his duty cos that's not right.
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sr90
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#56
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#56
If they're right behind me i'll hold the door for anyone, even guys. I have never thought much of it, surely any decent person would do the same? The same applies if they're carrying something heavy, i was getting off the train the other day and the girl behind me was having trouble with her luggage so i helped her out, i didn't think much of it.

I do try and be nice to everyone but constantly pulling a chair out, opening the car door etc for a girl makes you seem a bit desperate unless she's your girlfriend.

(Original post by TheFlyingDutchman)
Tbh these days if you just do those little things you will be a step above most guys.
You're spot on, its rather unfortunate that this is the case tbh. It doesn't take much effort to be nice to people regardless of what gender they are, yet there are so many ***** out there.

Would +rep you if i had any left.
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Onwards and Upwards!
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#57
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#57
(Original post by surina_xxx)
firstly i'm not a feminist or a chav
I don't mind it when random people open the door and stuff but it's annoying when your dating someone and they are just being so gentelmanly and it can get annoying after a while. That's how i personally see, if they do it a few times then it's ok but i just don't like it when guys make a huge deal of acting like a gentleman!
Ahh ok, well I see your point then. You see I personally would open a door for a stranger, as i'm sure you would too. But if your boyfriend makes a point of it in a 'hey look at me i'm a gentleman way' then that would get very annoying. In fact with a girlfriend it would be odd? Isn't the whole opening door thing more to do with you being on the other side or going through just before them and then holding the door rather than opening it for them?! Weird psychoanalysis of an inane topic.

Aaaaanyway Hold doors open for people as you go through if their fairly close behind and walk on the outside of the pavement near the cars with girlfriends? It's common decency. Thread closed..
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ForKicks
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#58
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#58
That's hardly being a gentleman. I am afraid it would take more than just being polite and thoughtful!
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the realist
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#59
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#59
(Original post by Milky Milk)
Since when was being polite demeaning?

Try having a permanent glass ceiling ahead of you because you have a vagina.
Glass ceiling? glass being really easy to smash.?....

theres a glass ceiling ahead of everyone, if your too dumb, weak, scared to smash through it.....you must be a woman!!!
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Advanced Subsidiary
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#60
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#60
If you actually go out of your way to open a door for a female, then something is clearly wrong with you. You must definitely be a Fairy Tail.
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