Ex sending very strange signals.... Watch

Kikaykun
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#41
Report Thread starter 7 years ago
#41
(Original post by GAguy)
Hoepelss situation. And you're giving in way too easily, she doesn't have to work at all to get your attention. So she thinks she can do whatever she wants (which isn't helping her). She knows the relationship with you doesn't work, but also doesn't not want to be with you. So if you're giving her mixed signals, like when you said "I don't know if I would take you back" WTF? confuse her more, that clearly raises her hopes. All your patience and your willingness to 'debate' with her only makes it worse and she will keep trying.

I mean, how many attempts do you want to go through? I think 4 is quite enough. Still, you are just passively not contacting her, but whenever she contacts you, you are all up for it. She makes a fake account, even after she reveals herself you are still talking to her.

I'm sorry, I know you said you have emotions for her. But she is not your debating partner about what you do with her, that clearly does not work. Make up your mind and stick to it.

Also, the part about being friends I wouldn't accept that for half a year at least. She's just going to abuse it to flirt with you.

What's going on with her is very clear. She wants you back (eventually you would probably fight again and break up, but that's what she would want right now).

You need to make up your mind and stick to it, either say it's enough and don't give in to her desperate attempts. Don't just ask yourself when dealing with her what you really think — girls got a way to make you say nice things to them when you're just trying to be honest. So also think about what that would mean between you and her when you open your mouth.

And yeah, don't contact her, and don't get fooled by the friends stuff.

If you want to get back with her, I don't need to tell you what you got to do.


Good luck.
Tbh mate, she caught me an extremely unfortunate time. I haven't spoken to her for a while, was nearly over her as throughout the time that I didn't speak to her, I had time to think about her and her boyfriend. My logic was that she didn't need to speak to me, she was happy with her life now and that I didn't need her in my life just as she didn't need me in hers. I convinced myself that her feelings for me were gone and that I didn't have a chance to get her back so there was no point trying. So when she asked me the question whether I would take her back, I replied honestly as I really didn't know.

And the reason why I didn't passively contact her was because for the four times that I tried to contact her before, she shot me down a couple of days after we made up and told me to **** off again as she wants to please her bf by following his orders and not talk to me. So when she started speaking to me again, I didn't want to start talking to her whole heartedly as I didn't want to jump into it head first and then she tells me to go away again.

And yeah, I really do need to decide about my options and whether she is worth all this hassle or not. And I need to stick by my decision when I make it. I'm just pretty unsure of what the decision may be.

But I'll give it a little time, to collect my thoughts and prepare for what she is going to say back to me.

Cheers for the advice mate, much appreciated.
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gingerben
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#42
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#42
if she left u for another bloke wats to say she wont again? she may just be lookin for the attention of both boys man
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Kikaykun
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#43
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(Original post by gingerben)
if she left u for another bloke wats to say she wont again? she may just be lookin for the attention of both boys man
She left me because I didnt 'love' her as much as she wanted to be loved. Then got with her current bf as he was willing to say 'I love you' from the moment they started going out and willing to plan their lives together.
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gingerben
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#44
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so she expected u to say it wen u didnt feel it? she just wants attention mate
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Kikaykun
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#45
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(Original post by gingerben)
so she expected u to say it wen u didnt feel it? she just wants attention mate
I did feel it. I just didn't say it as I didn't want her to think that we were destined to be together forever or something. Ironically, I've said it to her plenty of times now trying to get her back :/

And yeah I get what you mean by attention. I just spoke to her today and she seemed to not be bothered to converse as she was in a good mood, probably because she didn't have an argument with her boyfriend today. My money is on when she does have a fight with her bf, I shall see a nice fb mail/txt or call on my phone from her trying to talk to me again.
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Tba90
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#46
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Shes relised what shes lost?
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Kikaykun
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#47
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(Original post by Tba90)
Shes relised what shes lost?
Definitely. But tbh, she has just replaced me for him. As she wanted to be loved so much and he was will to 'love' her, she believed that he was the best person in the world. Now she's been with him for a while, she is over the 'honey moon period' and starting to see cracks in their relationship. Thus turning to me as we had great chemistry (try talking non-stop every day for at least 3 hours to someone) and that she knew that I would listen to her problems and console her.
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Malkmus
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#48
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So what? She may want you, she not want you. It doesn't really matter. I'm talking from experience here when I say that someone who had doubts about you and went as far as ending the relationship (and in this case shacking up someone else in the process) is NEVER worth it... whatever the reasons. She wants to have her cake and eat it. Don't be a sucker for it. You can do better. My advice: steer well clear, walk on and don't look back. You'll find someone actually worth your time who respects you enough not to 1) ditch you directly for another person and 2) head**** you, dangling carrots of friendship/possible reconciliation once you've split up. I did.
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Kikaykun
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#49
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(Original post by Malkmus)
So what? She may want you, she not want you. It doesn't really matter. I'm talking from experience here when I say that someone who had doubts about you and went as far as ending the relationship (and in this case shacking up someone else in the process) is NEVER worth it... whatever the reasons. She wants to have her cake and eat it. Don't be a sucker for it. You can do better. My advice: steer well clear, walk on and don't look back. You'll find someone actually worth your time who respects you enough not to 1) ditch you directly for another person and 2) head**** you, dangling carrots of friendship/possible reconciliation once you've split up. I did.
I'll take the advice into account mate, I starting to realise that a pattern is forming with her. She seems to be only interested in talking to me when a problem in her life arises, be it family or bf. And I'm gullible enough to take it. Tried speaking to her today and no, after promising that we would discuss our relationship, hangs up after 5 minutes saying that she has to go. I'm starting to get sick of this....
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Malkmus
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(Original post by Kikaykun)
I'll take the advice into account mate, I starting to realise that a pattern is forming with her. She seems to be only interested in talking to me when a problem in her life arises, be it family or bf. And I'm gullible enough to take it. Tried speaking to her today and no, after promising that we would discuss our relationship, hangs up after 5 minutes saying that she has to go. I'm starting to get sick of this....
Definitely proceed with caution and keep in mind that how you feel now is NOT how you will feel forever/in 3 months time.

I got messed around for 6 months (and allowed it to happen, simply because I wanted to give someone I, at the time, thought the world of, the benefit of the doubt and another chance). My ex-girlfriend pretty much stalked me in an attempt to force friendship on to me after we split up (she wanted us to be "best friends" and pretty much continue like normal except without the pressure of a relationship) and when I told her I wasn't interested 2 months later she came back claiming she'd "made the biggest mistake of her life" and that she "never stopped loving me" and begged me for another chance. Again, total bull**** designed to manipulate me into remaining part of her life - as she knew the only way I was staying in it was if we were working on a relationship. In the end, I gave her the finger and moved on. Best decision I ever made and about a year later I met someone new who is twice the person my ex was.

Moral of the story: You can do better.
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Kikaykun
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#51
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(Original post by Malkmus)
Definitely proceed with caution and keep in mind that how you feel now is NOT how you will feel forever/in 3 months time.

I got messed around for 6 months (and allowed it to happen, simply because I wanted to give someone I, at the time, thought the world of, the benefit of the doubt and another chance). My ex-girlfriend pretty much stalked me in an attempt to force friendship on to me after we split up (she wanted us to be "best friends" and pretty much continue like normal except without the pressure of a relationship) and when I told her I wasn't interested 2 months later she came back claiming she'd "made the biggest mistake of her life" and that she "never stopped loving me" and begged me for another chance. Again, total bull**** designed to manipulate me into remaining part of her life - as she knew the only way I was staying in it was if we were working on a relationship. In the end, I gave her the finger and moved on. Best decision I ever made and about a year later I met someone new who is twice the person my ex was.

Moral of the story: You can do better.
I'm starting to see you point of view. My position is quite similiar and she is just using me when she is vunerable and lonely. She knows the fact that I still have feelings for her. She claimed to me that she would make an effort to keep out friendship, ignoring her bf's orders to not speak to me as she said "He can't control me and speak to you makes me truly happy" she displayed that today by telling me that she couldn't speak to me as she was too busy *sarcasm*. She says things that manipulates me into thinking that I still have a chance with her and that she may break up with her bf and come back to me in the near future.

Congrats for finding someone twice as better and I just hope
I can do the same :/
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