Maths Joke! Watch

black_mamba
Badges: 12
Rep:
?
#41
Report 12 years ago
#41
I've always liked:

There are 10 kinds of mathematicians. Those who can think binarily and those who can't...

(a loud groan is heard from the tsr hecklers)

:eek:
0
quote
reply
Sephrenia
Badges: 2
Rep:
?
#42
Report 12 years ago
#42
(Original post by rpotter)
Two cats are sliding down a roof, which one falls off first?

The one with the smallest mew
thats bad........
0
quote
reply
Sephrenia
Badges: 2
Rep:
?
#43
Report 12 years ago
#43
(Original post by IainM)
another terrible maths joke courtesy of my maths teacher:

F(X) walks into a bar, and says I'd like a pint of lager and a packet of crisps. Barmaid goes: Sorry love, we dont cater for functions.

:eek:
:rofl: Thats good!
0
quote
reply
Sephrenia
Badges: 2
Rep:
?
#44
Report 12 years ago
#44
(Original post by black_mamba)
I've always liked:

There are 10 kinds of mathematicians. Those who can think binarily and those who can't...

(a loud groan is heard from the tsr hecklers)

:eek:
ouch
0
quote
reply
Kolya
Badges: 14
#45
Report 12 years ago
#45
(Original post by MrSornia)
The integral of e^x is equal to the function u^n. Write it all out..
:eek:
quote
reply
wazza07
Badges: 2
Rep:
?
#46
Report 12 years ago
#46
(Original post by michaelnicholson88)
And for the non-mathematicians among us... an old classic.

Why was 6 afraid of 7?

Because 789
*giggles*



0
quote
reply
non-centrally acting
Badges: 1
Rep:
?
#47
Report 12 years ago
#47
(Original post by rpotter)
Two cats are sliding down a roof, which one falls off first?

The one with the smallest mew
:rofl: thats one to tell my teacher :p:
0
quote
reply
Robob
Badges: 2
Rep:
?
#48
Report 12 years ago
#48
What did the acorn say when he grew up?

Gee Im a tree (say it out loud)


What do you call a teapot on a mantlepiece?

High Pot in use (again say it out loud)
0
quote
reply
michaelnicholson88
Badges: 0
Rep:
?
#49
Report 12 years ago
#49
(Original post by rpotter)
What did the acorn say when he grew up?

Gee Im a tree (say it out loud)


What do you call a teapot on a mantlepiece?

High Pot in use (again say it out loud)
Oh
Dear
God
0
quote
reply
*Katie*
Badges: 1
Rep:
?
#50
Report 12 years ago
#50
(Original post by MrSornia)
Awwww Mockíúlin, :hugs:
More Math jokes:
Some reasons why I didn't do my homework.
1) Isaac Newton's Birthday
2) I accidentally divided by zero and my paper burst into flames.
3) I was watching the World Series and got tied up trying to prove it converged.
4) I took a break for a coffee and a doughnut but couldn't decide which one to dunk.
5) I locked my work in my briefcase but a 4-dimensional dog got in and ate it.
6) I swear I put my work in a Klein bottle but the next morning I couldn't find it.

There were 4 more hanging around which I forget, but those are my faves; 5) always makes me smile

Also:
Q: Why do you rarely find mathematicians spending time at the beach?
A: Because they have sine and cosine to get a tan and don't need the sun!

One day, Jesus said to his disciples: "The Kingdom of Heaven is like 3x squared plus 8x minus 9."
A man who had just joined the disciples looked very confused and asked Peter: "What, on Earth, does he mean by that?"
Peter replied: "Don't worry - it's just another one of his parabolas."
. ..
Top ten excuses for not doing homework:

1) I accidentally divided by zero and my paper burst into flames.
2) Isaac Newton's birthday.
3) I could only get arbitrarily close to my textbook. I couldn't actually reach it.
4) I have the proof, but there isn't room to write it in this margin.
5) I was watching the World Series and got tied up trying to prove that it converged.
6) I have a solar powered calculator and it was cloudy.
7) I locked the paper in my trunk but a four-dimensional dog got in and ate it.
8) I couldn't figure out whether i am the square of negative one or i is the square root of negative one.
9) I took time out to snack on a doughnut and a cup of coffee. I spent the rest of the night trying to figure which one to dunk.
10) I could have sworn I put the homework inside a Klein bottle, but this morning I couldn't find it.
0
quote
reply
posterpreviouslyknownascoss:D
Badges: 12
Rep:
?
#51
Report 12 years ago
#51
(Original post by *Katie*)
Also:
One day, Jesus said to his disciples: "The Kingdom of Heaven is like 3x squared plus 8x minus 9."
A man who had just joined the disciples looked very confused and asked Peter: "What, on Earth, does he mean by that?"
Peter replied: "Don't worry - it's just another one of his parabolas."
. ..
*lol*
An engineer, a physicist, and a mathematician were on a train heading north, and had just crossed the border into Scotland.

The engineer looked out of the window and said "Look! Scottish sheep are black!"
The physicist said, "No, no. Some Scottish sheep are black."
The mathematician looked irritated. "There is at least one field, containing
at least one sheep, of which at least one side is black."

Q: What did pi say to √2?
A: Who you callin' irrational!

dy/dx walks into a bar, it's full of functions and on seeing dy/dx, they all hide except for one. So dy/dx goes over to this function and says 'get out of my way, or I'll differentiate you until you're zero' The function replies 'Haha, unlucky mate, I'm e^x
0
quote
reply
Sephrenia
Badges: 2
Rep:
?
#52
Report 12 years ago
#52
(Original post by darth_vader05)
:rofl: thats one to tell my teacher :p:
aye!
0
quote
reply
manga
Badges: 9
Rep:
?
#53
Report Thread starter 12 years ago
#53
Haha, this thread cracks me up!
0
quote
reply
Who?
Badges: 1
Rep:
?
#54
Report 12 years ago
#54
so random and funny:p:
0
quote
reply
-Kav-
Badges: 2
#55
Report 12 years ago
#55
"The number you have dialled is imaginary. Please rotate your phone through 90º and try again"

Why did the chicken cross the Moebius strip? To get to the other...err...
quote
reply
Sephrenia
Badges: 2
Rep:
?
#56
Report 12 years ago
#56
(Original post by Pineappolis)
"The number you have dialled is imaginary. Please rotate your phone through 90º and try again"

Why did the chicken cross the Moebius strip? To get to the other...err...
:toofunny:
Why did the chicken cross the Moebius strip? To get to the other...err...
:toofunny:
I can just imagine me answering that... and this big blank face comes on :rofl:
0
quote
reply
michaelnicholson88
Badges: 0
Rep:
?
#57
Report 12 years ago
#57
What do you get if you divide the cirucmference of a jack-o-lantern by its diameter?

Spoiler:
Show
Pumpkin Pi!
0
quote
reply
F1 fanatic
Badges: 15
Rep:
?
#58
Report 12 years ago
#58
My contribution that I always bring out... technically physics joke but whats the difference amongst freinds

An atom walks into a bar looking glum, the bar tender says, "whats wrong?"
"I've lost an electron" replies the atom,
"are you sure?"
"Yeah I'm positive".

----------------------------------------------

And the rather worse and more obscure one:

Heisenberg is travelling along in his car when he gets stopped by the police, "Do you know how fast you were going sir?" they ask. Heisenberg replies "No, but i know exactly where I am..."

*groan*
0
quote
reply
The Mudman
Badges: 0
Rep:
?
#59
Report 12 years ago
#59
(Original post by F1 fanatic)
My contribution that I always bring out... technically physics joke but whats the difference amongst freinds

An atom walks into a bar looking glum, the bar tender says, "whats wrong?"
"I've lost an electron" replies the atom,
"are you sure?"
"Yeah I'm positive".

----------------------------------------------

And the rather worse and more obscure one:

Heisenberg is travelling along in his car when he gets stopped by the police, "Do you know how fast you were going sir?" they ask. Heisenberg replies "No, but i know exactly where I am..."

*groan*
:toofunny: Then again, I am slightly drunk...
0
quote
reply
4Ed
Badges: 15
Rep:
?
#60
Report 12 years ago
#60
Similar to the differential operator one above at the top of the page:

Once upon a time, there was a house where lots of functions all lived.

One day, sin x came running back into the house, slammed the door shut and bolted it. 'What's wrong?' asked everyone else. Sin x replied 'Oh, there's this terrible differential operator out there, and I'm afraid that if I run into him, he'll turn me into something else!'

e^x hearing this, marched straight over to the door, unlocked it and went out, saying 'HA, I'll meet this guy, I'm e^x and this differential operator can't do anything to me!'

e^x walked along until he finds the differential operator, and cries 'HAHA, differential operator, I'm e^x, you can't do anything to me!' to which the differential operator replied:

'Ah, but I am known as d/dy...'

0
quote
reply
X

Reply to thread

Attached files
Write a reply...
Reply
new posts
Latest
My Feed

See more of what you like on
The Student Room

You can personalise what you see on TSR. Tell us a little about yourself to get started.

Personalise

Do you like exams?

Yes (152)
18.14%
No (510)
60.86%
Not really bothered about them (176)
21%

Watched Threads

View All
Latest
My Feed