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    GOOD GUYS.

    Idiot girls or girls with no relationship experience go for bad guys

    Sarah
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    (Original post by hapa_girl)
    GOOD GUYS.

    Idiot girls or girls with no relationship experience go for bad guys

    Sarah
    There you go a nice simple way of how i would of said it
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    can i just point out getting drunk on a regular basis doesnt qualify you to be a bad guy whatsoever, everyone likes a drink, be fair.
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    (Original post by morningtheft)
    So, if someone has had bad relationships in the past, they don't deserve to have good relationships in the future? If someone was thought badly of them in the past, even if it was undeserved, clearly they don't deserve to have someone who might think well of them!

    It seems to me that self-proclaimed "nice guys" are really the *******s (whom they feign to be so against) and that truly nice guys don't need to go around telling everyone how "nice" they are because their niceness is self-evident and they don't have any trouble getting girls. Men who go around saying "I'm such a nice guy, why won't girls love me?!?" are usually the first to go off spouting sexist, stereotypical bs about women.... you know, like calling them "loose"... clearly a sign of respect for women.

    Here's a thought to ponder: does a guy who's been used by a girl (say he's a "nice guy" and she stomped all over his heart and left him for a "bad guy") deserve to date a nice girl in the future? You seem to be suggesting that he does not.
    Amazingly, I agree with certain points you make, but certainly not with others. I agree that it's harsh and rash to conclude that anyone who was thought of badly in a past relationship is bad, and that what the guy you quoted said could be seen to be sounding a little unfair. However, I think what he's trying to say is simply that there are a number of women who do seem to actively seek the wrong type of guy, and hence, should a woman be treated badly, it's not as easy as simply blaming the guy who treated her badly; and if you dispute this fact, you should try reading even some of the posts in this thread. To me, to stay for too long with a 'bad boy' is to lack strength of character, and/or self-respect, in many cases (not all, as circumstances differ, but certainly in many).

    What it boils down to is, perhaps, a difference of opinion, rather than a matter of decency; you, along with what seems to be the majority, seem to be under the impression that 99% of women have a sensible choice in men, and would never go for anyone they thought would treat them badly; and if any of these women do get treated badly, it could not realistically have been forseen and, hence, avoided. This said, you feel that men who have cause to complain of being nice, yet not having much luck with women, are simply not, in fact, nice; because, after all, women tend to go for nice guys, right?

    Some of us, however, to a greater or a lesser degree, think that many young women do make bad choices, when it comes to men, and that, this said, it is not only the fault of the ********s who treat women badly in whatever way, but also the women (in many cases, but not all, again) who chose to go for the 'bad boy'. We also believe that nice guys get a raw deal, when it comes to women.

    But, hey: that's just our opinion, and that is yours; it's the way we see things. A lot of a person's opinions are based on his/her individual perceptions (based on both personal experiences, and how one interprets these). I'm not about to hate you for having different experiences and perceptions, and you shouldn't hate me, or, for example, the guy you quoted,for having different ones to yours.

    One thing that should be considered, is the possibility that guys around here, just like the girls, have been treated badly by the opposite sex. There are an endless amount of women around here, who say extreme, negative things about guys, and it is assumed that either her opinions reflect reality, or that she should be cut some slack, as she's obviously been treated very badly by guys. Yet, it does seem that, if a man dares to say a thing negative about women, he's labelled as a hate-filled, nasty misogynist, immediately. There just doesn't seem to be the same sympathetic consideration that maybe he's simply been unlucky, and is understandably miffed in some way, as regards women; even if, perhaps, he is misguided. Let's face it: very few people choose to think negative things about the opposite sex; it comes down to the individual perception, and experience, as I say.

    I have opinions some would consider strong. Why? Well, believe it or not, I have been nice to women I've met, and I have been treated badly. Whether or not my opinions on this matter are justified logically is a matter of debate, but I have them as a result of observation and negative experience, rather than as a result of natural prejudice or hatred. I didn't just stand up one day, and think: "Hey, I think I'll start believing that many women like ar**holes"; the opinion's stemmed partly from experience, be this to be representative of reality or not; is it really fair to dislike someone for saying things to be how they see them? It doesn't mean I dislike women, or regard men to be any better; it just so happens that this is an area in which I think negatively of a lot of women. There are also areas in which I think negatively of a lot of men, for the record, and, as I don't feel that I should be disliked for my opinions, I don't think that, say, women who've had certain bad experiences with men should be disliked for considering men to mainly be sex-obsessed (and I all but agree, with that one).

    (Original post by morningtheft)
    Men who go around saying "I'm such a nice guy, why won't girls love me?!?" are usually the first to go off spouting sexist, stereotypical bs about women.... you know, like calling them "loose"... clearly a sign of respect for women.
    But that's not surprising, is it; if someone considers themselves to have been treated badly, then they're going to be the ones "spouting sexist, stereotypical bs about women", 'cause they consider themselves to have been treated unfairly, and hence, in their minds, it isn't sexist, stereotypical bs about women (I'm only saying this to point out the connection between the two observations, rather than to argue in favour of it). One thing, also: that guy only suggested that some such women were loose (and, obviously there are some loose women out there), and this was only out of a certain subset of women, so I don't think it rational to conclude that he was being disrespectful towards women; can't a man say anything negative about any women, without being seen to be a sexist, misogynistic ar**hole? People have their faults, and people observe them.

    (Original post by morningtheft)
    Here's a thought to ponder: does a guy who's been used by a girl (say he's a "nice guy" and she stomped all over his heart and left him for a "bad guy") deserve to date a nice girl in the future? You seem to be suggesting that he does not.
    If he wanted a nice girl, and is nice himself, then yes, and the same goes for a nice girl who wanted a nice guy, as regards men.

    Anyway, this post isn't meant to be aimed entirely at one person. This topic comes up so much, and seems to generate such an array of emotions and insults, that I thought I'd try to explain certain potential reasons behind opinions, so that we all might respect those of each other, rather than using these as a reason to hate. I suppose what I'm saying is that there are observations and experiences - be these typical, or otherwise - behind every opinion, the existence of which should be considered, before conclusions are drawn.
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    well I personally go for weird guys...you know the ones that cant be defined..yeah ok, he's cute, quite quirky, he has a rebellious side, yet he still wants to come home to me awwww. Wait, that hasn't happened.
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    one of the things ive noticed about many women is that they go out with the bad guys who treat them like crap then whine about being treated badly and being cheated on then they get a nice guy and then treat him like crap in turn.
    kind of ironic huh
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    (Original post by minimo)
    Good guys all the way!!
    ...the sweet, sensitive, quiet, romantic, intelligent, let's-cuddle-up-with-a-bottle-of-wine-and-read-poetry-sort, not fussed about sex, slightly girly, rosy cheeked, takes me to the opera sort, doesn't get drunk, smoke, nicely dressed, classy, caring, has a good relationship with his and my parents...
    so you want him to be gay?

    (Original post by morningtheft)
    Here's a thought to ponder: does a guy who's been used by a girl (say he's a "nice guy" and she stomped all over his heart and left him for a "bad guy") deserve to date a nice girl in the future? You seem to be suggesting that he does not.
    agreed.
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    The definition of a bad guy in this post seems a bit weird.

    Ok so i drink alot, smoke, go clubbing with my mates in the not nicest places on earth, fact that i have a tat and a couple of piecings here and there does not make me a bad boy.

    Even if i look like one i think my girl friend would definatley describe me as a nice guy.

    So is it baced on actions or on attitude?
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    (Original post by zav)
    The definition of a bad guy in this post seems a bit weird.

    Ok so i drink alot, smoke, go clubbing with my mates in the not nicest places on earth, fact that i have a tat and a couple of piecings here and there does not make me a bad boy.

    Even if i look like one i think my girl friend would definatley describe me as a nice guy.

    So is it baced on actions or on attitude?
    lol who knows. this thread has come up so often and it allways has a different outcome.

    i personally dont think image counts for nething. the scariest looking people are often the nicest.
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    :ottid:
    (Original post by high priestess fnord)
    i personally dont think image counts for nething. the scariest looking people are often the nicest.
    I think that some peoples idea that someone smokes so they are a bad boy is just silly
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    (Original post by high priestess fnord)
    so you want him to be gay?
    No. I know straight guys like that. *sigh* Sadly he wasn't attracted to me
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    (Original post by zav)
    I think that some peoples idea that someone smokes so they are a bad boy is just silly
    no it makes them a pitiful slave to nicotine (jk)
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    (Original post by high priestess fnord)
    so you want him to be gay?
    It's perfectly possible for an entirely heterosexual man to have those qualities. :rolleyes:
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    sorry i admit to my inability to be mature and adult about these things.

    but its highly unlikely isnt it?!!
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    (Original post by high priestess fnord)
    sorry i admit to my inability to be mature and adult about these things.

    but its highly unlikely isnt it?!!
    Well, yes, it probably is. :p: But there are men out there like that, and I just wanted to make the point that I don't believe it affects their sexuality in the slightest.
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    (Original post by Platinum Mech)
    Well, yes, it probably is. :p: But there are men out there like that, and I just wanted to make the point that I don't believe it affects their sexuality in the slightest.
    fair point. the age of the metro is here.
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    (Original post by high priestess fnord)
    sorry i admit to my inability to be mature and adult about these things.

    but its highly unlikely isnt it?!!
    At my uni, there are a fair few guys I know like that. Depends on where you look.
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    NO they arn't metro!!
    They just tend to be very sweet.
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    I always go for good guys, like way too good. I like my guy to be fairly on the emotional side as guys go but I do still want to feel like he's capable of 'looking after' me in a way.
 
 
 
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