I don't want friend at university Watch

Mad_Monkey59
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#41
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#41
(Original post by ~*~ Tammy ~*~)
shes doing a pyschology course instead not law - to her law is a "stupid course" and she sees no sense in it whatsoever.
So she's doing psychology... probably the most useless course ever concieved.

I cannot see why this might be an issue, at the end of the day, you decide where you go and with whome. I think that at university, the chances are you will both be inundated with new friends, so perhaps she will decide to cling to another persons leg, at least you stand a good chance of losing her in the crowd.
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Xx Tomásíona - Mháire xX
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#42
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#42
(Original post by Mad_Monkey59)
So she's doing psychology... probably the most useless course ever concieved.

I cannot see why this might be an issue, at the end of the day, you decide where you go and with whome. I think that at university, the chances are you will both be inundated with new friends, so perhaps she will decide to cling to another persons leg, at least you stand a good chance of losing her in the crowd.
Yeah thats true. I don't mean to hurt her in anyway, but I think personally I need to find myself and she can't help me with that.
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Mad_Monkey59
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#43
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#43
(Original post by ~*~ Tammy ~*~)
Yeah thats true. I don't mean to hurt her in anyway, but I think personally I need to find myself and she can't help me with that.
Perhaps you can get her to draw you a map, 'you are here' and a big arrow. :p:
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Xx Tomásíona - Mháire xX
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#44
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#44
(Original post by Mad_Monkey59)
Perhaps you can get her to draw you a map, 'you are here' and a big arrow. :p:
heheheh maybe :p:
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Adarah
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#45
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#45
Look, I don't see why you can't just tell this friend if you're busy or need some time to yourself. Don't let it get so far that you feel you have to end the friendship over this. Just sit down and talk to her about it instead. I know that is hard, but realistically - what else can you do? Either way the friendship will suffer, if you don't want to loose her friendship, but don't want her to be annoying, you have got to talk to her and tell her that you don't want to live with her at uni, because you have too much fun messing around with her and never get any work done.
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El Scotto
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#46
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#46
(Original post by Mad_Monkey59)
So she's doing psychology... probably the most useless course ever concieved.

Not that useless evidently. It'd help these people get some empowerment to be open to their supposed friends and tell them when they want to have some time to theirselves.
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ssmoose
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#47
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#47
I'm going to uni in October and I'm going with my girlfriend (actually in my university college), a guy from my main school tutor group (also same college), a guy I've been to school with since infants (at a different college) plus a few other of my friends have put Durham as their reserve. I'll probably see my girlfriend several times a week, the bloke in my college will probably be seen around, unless we hit it off (he was year above) and my mate of old I'll hope to meet a few times a term for a chat or to invite to my colleges parties. Basically what I'm trying to say is that you can engineer it so that you see people as much or as little as possible.
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thegreatstupendo
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#48
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#48
Why not tell her your appkying to one place, but actually apply somewhere else, she's hardly going to demand to see your letters confirming your frim and insurance is she? The you only hae to tell her just before you go, so she doesn't have long to be mad at you. Or if you end up going to the same place, just make sure you end up in different acommodation.
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Mad_Monkey59
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#49
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#49
(Original post by El Scotto)

Not that useless evidently. It'd help these people get some empowerment to be open to their supposed friends and tell them when they want to have some time to theirselves.
or it would help said friend become less clingy perhaps...
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sidi
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#50
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#50
I can quite see your point. It's much easier to make friends if you are on your own, you're much more approachable. It's a new chapter in your life so enjoy.Ask her which unis she fancies for firm and ins then say 'that's a good idea, that's settled then'. Don't even need to lie!
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randomuser#6
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#51
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If she does nothing. She's not going to get in. And you can make sure of that...:cool:
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saoirse
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#52
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#52
Dont want to sound harsh but its pretty weak willed to blame her in advance for YOU not getting work done at uni:rolleyes: . There are plenty of ways of making a distance- tactfully- between yourself and her even if you end up at the same place!

Get yourself a spine:p:

Again Im not trying to be mean, but we all have to learn how to cope with clingy / otherwise socially inept people
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bluedreamer
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#53
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#53
(Original post by Anonymous)
I know it sounds quite selfish, but I don't wish for my friend to attend the same university as me. She intentionally chose the same universities as me in a bid to keep us together. At school this particular friend keeps me back from doing work because she just can't shut up - and she knows I am wanting to do Law and I need to work to achieve this.

I know I might seem like quite the ***** over this but I don't want her to go, because I know for a fact I will get nothing done, since she does nothing herself.

Has anyone any ideas on how I'm going to tell her I don't want her without sounding extremely harsh?
Why would anyone pick a uni based on where their friend is going!!! When I was in college, no one did that. We were all picking different places, hoping to get into the best uni ^o)
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Lush Law
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#54
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#54
Oh for heavens sake - just tell the silly ***** to get stuffed, innit.

I most defo wouldn't let someone tell me that I'm sharing a house with them even before uni has started!

And you're totally not selfish - I'm glad I'm the only person from school (well in my year anyway) to go to my uni. I wanted a totally fresh start.
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Tarts_n_Vicars
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#55
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#55
Assuming you want to stay friends with her then telling her to rack off and get a life isn't an option I suppose. I can't believe she doesn't think it's a bit odd to just pluck unis and courses out of the air because of where her friend is going (even if it is you Tammy!). So you can either lie about where you've picked so she picks it too and ends up a zillion miles from you or sit her down and stress that you don't think it's a good way for her to pick her uni. I wouldn't mention "I don't want you anywhere near me" more that it would be to her own benefit to put more thought into her choices as uni is a big place and with different courses and whatnot you won't actually spend that much time together. You'd feel bad if she went to the same uni to be close to you and then found you were far too busy to spend any time with her
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Xx Tomásíona - Mháire xX
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#56
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#56
(Original post by Tarts_n_Vicars)
Assuming you want to stay friends with her then telling her to rack off and get a life isn't an option I suppose. I can't believe she doesn't think it's a bit odd to just pluck unis and courses out of the air because of where her friend is going (even if it is you Tammy!). So you can either lie about where you've picked so she picks it too and ends up a zillion miles from you or sit her down and stress that you don't think it's a good way for her to pick her uni. I wouldn't mention "I don't want you anywhere near me" more that it would be to her own benefit to put more thought into her choices as uni is a big place and with different courses and whatnot you won't actually spend that much time together. You'd feel bad if she went to the same uni to be close to you and then found you were far too busy to spend any time with her
Now I like that one T_n_V!!!! but on a serious note, she does have to stop being total dependent on me and learn to stand on her own two feet. At school its a case of "let me see" and "how'd you do that?" - Me personally I don't do much work at school anyway, and the work I actually do she usually complains throughout until I let her see it. But it has came to a stand still after she sent me that message about "I can't wait to we go", I do need to tell her I know, but it is going to be as hard as f*** to do so - so everyone wish me luck I suppose.
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jellybones
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#57
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#57
If she really is choosing the same university as you just to stay friends with you then perhaps you can talk to her. Explain that now you're going away to university you'd prefer to be more independant and would like to be on your own. Besides it would probably be better for her if she chose a university to suit her needs (e.g a good reputation for her course, a place she likes,) chosing a university just because your friend will be there isn't a good way to make a decision. My advice is to just talk to her, I don't think it's selfish at all you're entitled to your own independence. However, if she really does have her heart set on going to that university then I'm affraid there isn't a lot you can do about it.
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randomuser
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#58
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#58
Ive been in this situtation and it didnt work out. My mate applied for several of them same universities as me and then picked the same so we could be together, at first it was ok, i was so busy with my new life i didnt see her (esp as our accom was 25 mins walk apart) however it went wrong, end of yr 1 she announced she had no1 to live with and wanted to live with me but id already agreed to live with my two housemates id met that year so had to convience them to let her live with us as i couldnt see her homeless and thats were it went wrong! Basically she drove one of them out theough being a b***h and then she dumped us last year so we had hassle, i no longer speak to her, if she hadnt come to the same uni we prob would have still been friends!

Just be honest and tell her your concerns
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Pandy
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#59
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#59
(Original post by Anonymous)
read the OP I asked how would I go about it. I don't want to hurt her but personally she has to realise we can't stay together forever.
Oh, my bad then.

Well, best thing would be to just tell her in person over a coffee or something. Something like (if this is true) "I value our friendship, but I think we should take a break while we're at uni, give us both a chance to make new mates, meet up during the holidays and catch up and stuff."

Or something. Problem with me is that I'm pretty blunt when it comes to telling people stuff like that. Maybe that's another option? :p:
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*Claire*
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#60
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Say to her that u r good friends but u dont want her picking a uni over u. Even if ur not together u'll still visit etc. But if she does end up at ur uni try to not end up in the same accomm maybe. Mite b hard if she keeps askin where u've put. Maybe say if ur separate u can make twice the friends between u? If shes a gd mate, reasure her u'll stay friends but u each need 2 choose wots right for u. If not then well...
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