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    Give your relationship time. Wait for a few years. I know that's not the best advice coming from a Muslim - these sort of relationships aren't allowed in Islam prior to marriage, strictly speaking - but you don't want to make a decision you'll regret later because you were too hasty.
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    Just do what's in your heart. If deep down you don't want to convert, then you shouldn't. She's right, don't just do it for her, you have to do it for yourself more importantly.
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    (Original post by crr4)
    umm.. i wouldn't call them strict, as some of my cousins are in relationships with people of all different religions, like my dads side of the family is hindu and his sisters son is with a chinese girl at the moment, but initially she wants him to settle with an indian, but what's the point of him doing that? i think for asian people, their religion and culture is what they know so much about, and especially if youre the son of the family, they want to be able to do all the traditions and ceremonies as they would if you wanted to marry an indian. Another example is like, my moms brothers son. my moms side is mainly sikh, and their son is with a italian/south indian girl, its crazy how they've all accepted it.. but if im honest with you it always seems so easy for a son rather then a daughter..

    as you probably know pride is another major issue that asian families always seem they need to think about, which i really don't understand. why should they care what other people think of what their family is doing, like who are they to judge. but you must be aware, that the biggest conflicting religions are infact islam and sikhism, it's a shame and you really can't help who you fall in love with. and yeah i totally understand where youre coming from with fights and disagreements, but i think that's going to be a part of it if im honest, they're going to want there own way and will show it through that, but somehow something will come out of it/

    you're 20 at the moment, have you ever considered waiting a while.. say a year before you want to get married? you may feel like when the time is ready you know that is what you want..

    but about your mom and dad being different religons, i think its totally different as hindu and sikhs are both indian and there rituals and culture is similar. but islam is just so different to that, and you're commiting not only to what her family want but to her religion which is so strict, you need to be able to see yourself living that life, not just for her but for the sake of what they preach too..
    Main thing is a lot of Western Converts seem to well turn to extremism which is quite sad
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    For all the people saying i dont have to convert. a muslim girl cannot marry a non muslim. if the marriage was to go ahead (emphasis on IF) then we would want our parents to be there have a proper wedding, not just us two at a registry. cause i know for a fact that would not happen, like i said parents come first for her, and they do for me as well. the only difference is i am willing to fight for what i want, also that they should want to see me happy so why should religion matter?!?!?!

    and to the person who said that the girls parents would have to accept me otherwise im screwed- you are absolutely right! i would be stuck in the middle and my life would never be the same.

    one big fear i have is that they wouldnt have a problem with me, but what if they have a problem that my parents dont agree with the marriage etc.
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    (Original post by DeathGuardElite)
    Main thing is a lot of Western Converts seem to well turn to extremism which is quite sad
    yeah i've read alot of about that, i respect each religion individually, but i feel that islam is so restricted. and rather then noting the benefits from converting, they really need to understand the depth of what they expect and how someone has to live their life so differently
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    Being raised in a Sikh family(although I'm atheist now), I understand how difficult this must be. IN fact, I know exactly what you're going through. My sister is a Sikh and her husband is a Muslim...it wasn't easy. There were a lot of disagreements within the two families and my own family. But it ended up going OK and they're married now.

    I don't know what to say because I don't know what your family is like or what the girl's family is like. Maybe they won't make you convert, or maybe they'll beat you up and throw you out of the house...all I can say is you have to decide which you want more in case it does come to a choice - your family or your girl? Tough choice
    how did everything go with your sisters marriage though, how did your parents react? can you pm me please?

    What if i converted and i got kicked out of the house, then theres no chance either way, cause think about it, would her parents agree to it still even when my parents arent by my side. i dont want to pick between family and the girl, why cant i have both, i wish they understood that.

    pm me please
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    (Original post by crr4)
    yeah i've read alot of about that, i respect each religion individually, but i feel that islam is so restricted. and rather then noting the benefits from converting, they really need to understand the depth of what they expect and how someone has to live their life so differently
    Yeah of all religions Islam is the most restricting and controlling and converts hardly ever talk about the Negative side :/
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    (Original post by anonymous125)
    when the time comes and i do eventually tell my family, and i am positive there will be huge consequences, what am i supposed to do if they dont want to know because that will mean i dont really have a chance with her either... Also do you think i should convert and *try* to pursue a future with her even if my parents say no?

    Of course i could still observe the sikh customs, it would be the best of both worlds. It might seem strange to some, but im not a hugely religious guy, so that could work.
    You might as well have no religion. You are defeating the purpose of religion and belief. That is All.
    If you're so concerned then think, What does 'religion' mean.
    • #1
    #1

    (Original post by anonymous125)
    how did everything go with your sisters marriage though, how did your parents react? can you pm me please?

    What if i converted and i got kicked out of the house, then theres no chance either way, cause think about it, would her parents agree to it still even when my parents arent by my side. i dont want to pick between family and the girl, why cant i have both, i wish they understood that.

    pm me please
    My mum(parents are divorced) was annoyed and upset at first, but she eventually came round and now she's fine about it. And yes there's a chance her parents are completely fine with it and maybe even accept you into their house.
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    It's not that Muslims CANNOT convert. Muslims generally DO NOT convert. There are some who do though. Of those who do, a lot convert to some form of atheism or another. Muslims have been brought up from a young age, and taught in evening school, the significance of their faith. There's basically some form of strong exposure towards their religion and the importance of it so they grow up and want to preserve their religion. The average Muslim usually seems more devout than the average theist - I don't know if that's just my opinion though.
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    A conversion to Islam that is not born out of a genuine love for the faith is not a true conversion.
    The girls parents would be suspect, I know I would be.
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    which would be the better way to go about it:
    1) tell parents that i want to convert because of the girl. tell her about the girl, that i need to convert.
    2) tell parents that i am converting to islam because it brings me peace, and i believe in it and its ruling etc.

    i have a feeling number 2 would be weird and wouldnt get me anywhere...
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    (Original post by Onde)
    You are in the bizarre situation that you don't consider one religion strongly enough to keep it, but you want to marry someone you are not sure is worth the risk of changing your religion.

    I think the repercussions from the families will be stronger than that from a divine being, but I think any conversion will not be seen as sincere by the person you want to marry.
    of course she is worth the risk of changing religion, thats why i am considering it.
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    As an atheist I genuinely do not understand why would any supernatural power care about two meagre people of different religious background just being together. So long as you're happy.
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    (Original post by EvilOfficer)
    As an atheist I genuinely do not understand why would any supernatural power care about two meagre people of different religious background just being together. So long as you're happy.
    that what i am saying! but other people dont understand this, for example families.
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    So 4 weeks ago you make a thread about liking a girl at uni and her not txting you back etc etc and now barely a month later your talking about changing religions and love...umm ok then!
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    (Original post by starryskyx)
    So 4 weeks ago you make a thread about liking a girl at uni and her not txting you back etc etc and now barely a month later your talking about changing religions and love...umm ok then!
    What a weird and pointless troll the op is.
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    (Original post by anonstudent1)
    What a weird and pointless troll the op is.
    ok apparently im a troll now... hmm i wonder if people like you just need an excuse to say that?
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    (Original post by anonymous125)
    For all the people saying i dont have to convert. a muslim girl cannot marry a non muslim. if the marriage was to go ahead (emphasis on IF) then we would want our parents to be there have a proper wedding, not just us two at a registry. cause i know for a fact that would not happen, like i said parents come first for her, and they do for me as well. the only difference is i am willing to fight for what i want, also that they should want to see me happy so why should religion matter?!?!?!
    No they CAN marry a non-Muslim. It's only a matter of them wanting to. If her feelings for you are as strong as yours are for her, she shouldn't go on thinking you'll convert and she should accept it. Worst case scenario? Elope with each other. My parents did it and after 26 years they are still together.
 
 
 
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