I think it depends if you still have your hymen or not. Some girls' hymen gets torn during exercise or is not there somehow. I assume I didn't have mine when I had sex for the first time because it didn't hurt at all and there was no blood.
Then again my partner was very very gentle and careful, he was horrified that he might hurt me so there was like an hour of foreplay. We weren't in a relationship when we did it, but we got into a relationship very soon afterwards.
It was very very good, much better than most girls' accounts of it. Just find someone who cares about you and it should be a very good experience.
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Last edited by Dragonfly07; 29-03-2013 at 18:03.
- 29-03-2013 17:53
- 29-03-2013 18:00
Wonder why it hurts if its a caring partner and the moment is right. Do hymens really play a part these days..
- 29-03-2013 18:05
- 29-03-2013 18:08
It usually differs from girl to girl -I've heard from a few friends that there had been so much blood they had to get rid of sheets and mattresses... Others said they didn't bleed at all, or it didn't hurt at all.
I was 14, he was almost 18. I know that for some, 14 is too early, but for me it was not. I never felt as if I wasn't ready yet and I haven't had any regrets. He really was someone very special for me, though, and even if it couldn't be real love at the age of 14 I had feelings for him (and still have, though that's probably nostalgia).
The experience itself was.. well, mixed. The first few minutes were painful as hell, I swore to myself back then I was never gonna have kids, no blood, but it was absolutely excruciating lol. I should mention that he had a massive penis, so it probably was party down to that. The getting it in was by far the most painful, it took us a few attempts to get him properly inside of me. after 5-10 mins it got better, though and I actually started to enjoy it, to the extent that you can actually enjoy your first time lol.
I have to admit thogh that sometimes, when I haven't had sex in a while and then use my (reasonably big) vibrator, it still hurts a bit to get it in at first, but nothing compared to that first time...
So I presume it comes down to his size, your tightness, etc. Tensing down there makes it even tighter, ergo more painful, so try and relax as much as possile.
- 29-03-2013 18:35
It was painful, I was quite drunk and I can remember the pain and having to ask the guy to stop because there was no pleasure at all. Also, the next day, you definitely know that you have that hole there, it felt very strange like suddenly knowing this part of your body that I never knew was there. I wouldn't recommend losing your virginity for the sake of it, I lost mine because I didn't realise how carried away you can get when you drink, and I don't even know who it was with... Not something I'm too proud of! But to me, the next time I have sex will be more important to me because I am going to make sure its with someone I at least like and know. Being a 'virgin' is something I didn't realise was actually good until I wasn't one anymore. If it is bothering you, then maybe it is just better to get it over and done with, but mark my words, it isn't as fun as I thought, first time round!!
- 29-03-2013 18:50
It wasn't particularly awkward, it was with my first boyfriend and we'd been together about 6 months (both aged 18). We'd done everything but and it was a bit of an unspoken thing so one day I just suggested it and yeah...
I am probably an exception as for me it hurt A LOT, which is ironic seeing as I was very comfortable with my bf at the time and wasn't under any pressure etc.. it continued to hurt for the first few times but as it become more of a regular thing it did start to get a bit easier. It pretty much goes back to square one when I stop for a while though, but I must stress, this is an exception and I don't think anyone else suffers the same level of pain as me! So don't worry.
- 29-03-2013 18:54
u shouldnt do it
- 29-03-2013 18:58
It hurt quite a lot but the pain was manageable. I did bleed a bit but nothing major. My boyfriend was like "oh no, am I hurting you? Shall I stop?" and I was like "you are hurting me but don't stop" I'm glad it was with him and that we weren't drunk or anything, it was nice
- 29-03-2013 19:01
I found it incredibly painful unfortunately, and it wasn't with someone who cared which is a bit regret.
Just make sure you do it with someone who cares about you at least enough to understand that it's a big deal for you, and will be empathetic and gentle.
- 29-03-2013 19:12
My first time was three days before I was 16; I was in a long term relationship with someone I loved (at the time). He wasn't a virgin but he never pressured me. Three months into the relationship I felt I was ready. I didn't find it particularly painful to be honest; I decided to go on top and I think that's a good tip for your first time. You can control how deep and the motion to suit you.
- 29-03-2013 19:13
I lost my virginity in October about a month after I started university with my boyfriend. We'd only been together a couple of weeks but I knew that I was ready. I was very scared to lose my virginity - I had tried for almost a year with my ex but it was almost like there was a 'wall' and it hurt a lot. I was convinced I had something medically wrong with me!
By the time I'd met my new boyfriend I was so ready to have sex we just persevered with it and worked on getting me relaxed enough. I found that actually it hurt a lot less than I anticipated - I made it up to be some massive event in my head but the first pain before it goes in is honestly (for me) the worst it got. I didn't bleed the first time but I did on the forth or fifth time.
- 29-03-2013 19:56
It didn't hurt the first time but it wasn't exactly enjoyable either as I was quite nervous. I'm glad I lost it to my then boyfriend though, as we cared about each other a lot and it was the right time.
- 29-03-2013 20:01
My first time was within my first (and current) relationship, and I'm pretty sure I wouldn't have done it if I didn't love him, or didn't feel I was going to be with him for a long time. I was ready, eventually, and it wasn't too awkward or anything. He was actually more nervous at the time than I was as he didn't want to hurt me/wanted to make it special for me.
I didn't bleed, but initially the pain was pretty bad for me.. I kinda couldn't speak it hurt that much, and apparently sweat visibly formed on my forehead, aha but seriously, it's bearable and really doesn't last long, and then you can enjoy it.
I was terrified of the idea of sex for ages beforehand, and it was one of the reasons I was hesitant to even be in a relationship, but I told my boyfriend my concerns and it all turned out fine. If you're scared about it like I was, wait until it's with the right person and when you're 100% ready.
(Original post by Dragonfly07)
- 29-03-2013 20:24
It only hurts for the first time/the first few times for some people. That's why virginity is overrated and that's also why I think that if you believe in marriage then you should lose your virginity BEFORE you get married, because you don't know what sex is like with them - if it's awful then it could potentially make the whole relationship much worse.
- 29-03-2013 20:31
Reading this thread is making me cringe and worry (I'm still a virgin).
- 29-03-2013 20:35
(Original post by Anonymous)
- 29-03-2013 20:39
didn't hurt for me at all and I didn't bleed (I had gotten that out of the way beforehand)
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- 29-03-2013 21:04
19 with my then boyfriend. It hurt but it was more discomfort than pain. I bled afterwards but not much (we'd done other things earlier on in the relationship plus I used tampons) and had an ache the next day.
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- 29-03-2013 21:55
(Original post by Anonymous)
- 29-03-2013 21:59
I'm at uni and I'm still a virgin... But I feel ready to have sex. Most people around me have done it, and I just feel like it's time... I feel like I want to. But I'm worried... was your first time awkward? Was it painful? Girls, please share your experiences and help me out! Like I WANT to, but I'm worried about the awkwardness/pain...
My first time was very painful, but it was with a guy I'd been friends with for a long time and had been dating for 5 months. We could talk about anything, and ended up being together for nearly 4 years.