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Feedback on my poem - trynna make it in da hood, ya feel me? Watch

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    I'm walking down your street
    Listening to my beat
    Coz I'm that fly
    It's so sweet
    Just way to neat
    Admit your defeat
    I got incredible flow
    I put up a sick show
    I'm on this stage
    Unleashing my rage
    Unleashing my wrath
    To make you walk that shamefull path
    Ima win this game
    Earn the fame
    Feel the bliss
    Ain't no way you gonna win this
    I'm at the top
    I flip
    Don't flop
    I'm the tick to the tock
    On the clock
    This battle is mine
    Always thinking of the next line
    Soo you better stop tryin
    I spit every verse
    Without rehearse
    This game is on
    By the end your gonna be gone
    I flow without end
    You can't defend
    Feel the shame
    Got no one to blame
    But yourself
    I grab every line in my head
    Off the shelf
    Ima pick you up
    Throw you down
    Make you drown
    In my river of lyrics
    Coz Ima lyrical miracle
    I fly like a butterly
    Sting like a bee
    Yes I'm quoting
    Mohammed Ali
    That's how I roll
    That's just me
    Better shut up
    Before you get a knee
    To the face
    Your a disgrace
    Just go back to your place

    (Got a bit carried away there :/.....)



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    (Original post by Reform)
    Uh

    I live in the hood
    I don't live good
    I eat rice pud
    At times I cut wood
    the ghetto is where I stood
    now I'm back in the hood.

    Ya dig?
    You're better than Akon and 50 Cent, so yeah, it's a start.
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    I think your choice of the phrase "I eat rice pud" is clever because it highlights your human side and allows listeners to feel they've got a better connection with your music. Nice
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    (Original post by 321zero)
    You're better than Akon and 50 Cent, so yeah, it's a start.
    I'm definitely better than Akon. As for 50, he's alright I guess.

    (Original post by That Bearded Man)
    I think your choice of the phrase "I eat rice pud" is clever because it highlights your human side and allows listeners to feel they've got a better connection with your music. Nice
    You are among the top posters of this thread. This is what I'm looking for. You see the clear yet basic intentions of the poem. I'm glad you thought it was clever.

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    (Original post by azg545)
    I'm walking down your street
    Listening to my beat
    Coz I'm that fly
    It's so sweet
    Just way to neat
    Admit your defeat
    I got incredible flow
    I put up a sick show
    I'm on this stage
    Unleashing my rage
    Unleashing my wrath
    To make you walk that shamefull path
    Ima win this game
    Earn the fame
    Feel the bliss
    Ain't no way you gonna win this
    I'm at the top
    I flip
    Don't flop
    I'm the tick to the tock
    On the clock
    This battle is mine
    Always thinking of the next line
    Soo you better stop tryin
    I spit every verse
    Without rehearse
    This game is on
    By the end your gonna be gone
    I flow without end
    You can't defend
    Feel the shame
    Got no one to blame
    But yourself
    I grab every line in my head
    Off the shelf
    Ima pick you up
    Throw you down
    Make you drown
    In my river of lyrics
    Coz Ima lyrical miracle
    I fly like a butterly
    Sting like a bee
    Yes I'm quoting
    Mohammed Ali
    That's how I roll
    That's just me
    Better shut up
    Before you get a knee
    To the face
    Your a disgrace
    Just go back to your place

    (Got a bit carried away there :/.....)



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    If you can summarise what you've said i'll be more than willing to read it.
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    (Original post by Reform)
    If you can summarise what you've said i'll be more than willing to read it.
    Haha.
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    When is the album coming out? :happy2:
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    (Original post by tinkerbell_xxx)
    When is the album coming out? :happy2:
    Hmm, 14th August, 6.03am, 2019.

    It should have a few thousand tracks on it. :cool:
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    (Original post by Reform)
    I'm definitely better than Akon. As for 50, he's alright I guess.



    You are among the top posters of this thread. This is what I'm looking for. You see the clear yet basic intentions of the poem. I'm glad you thought it was clever.

    Believe me, us top posters have strong connections in the music industry
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    (Original post by Reform)
    Hmm, 14th August, 6.03am, 2019.

    It should have a few thousand tracks on it. :cool:
    oh gosh can't wait
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    (Original post by That Bearded Man)
    Believe me, us top posters have strong connections in the music industry
    Feel free to hook a brother up!


    (Original post by tinkerbell_xxx)
    oh gosh can't wait
    Make sure you advertise it aswell!
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    (Original post by Reform)
    If you can summarise what you've said i'll be more than willing to read it.
    Lol, I wrote a whole verse and you beat me with two lines. It basically says- I'm amazing, and who ever that was against is terrible.

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    Me and Reform killin' the game atm. We makin' big moves
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    (Original post by Reform)
    At times I cut wood
    Part gangsta part lumberjack?
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    (Original post by eliza.anne)
    Part gangsta part lumberjack?
    Uh huh and i make cakes. We diversified gangstas
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    (Original post by eliza.anne)
    Part gangsta part lumberjack?
    That's the life of a G.
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    hearing the coast scream
    is my life time dream
    i want to grow up
    stack my dough
    up!
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    (Original post by Reform)




    Make sure you advertise it aswell!
    Oh I will! I'll be advertising it everywhere
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    Stackin up my paper, gettin butter for tha bread,
    Just met a new chick, she say she wanna hit the bed,
    Took her to the crib, she givin' good head,
    Gave it back to her hard, now she sleepin not dead.

    Jheeze, im on that explicit no children allowed flow right thurrr..

    ay yo Reform We got dis.
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    YO, BIATCH - Reform, your lines are whack...YO
    I really suggest you give this pursuit up...YO
    Although I'm pretty sure this is a troll thread...YO
    Get back under your bridge...BIATCH
 
 
 
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