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Girl refuses to talk to me for almost a year for no apparent reason Watch

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    What interesting drama! When girls decide you've done something wrong and YOU SHOULD KNOW WHAT IT IS is in my opinion pathetic, usually they are just covering for something they've "felt" and don't want to say which is completely in their head. I mean, you do hear girls are supposed to be more mature and emotionally intelligent...
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    (Original post by Jonnyisonfire)
    Thank you both, very much appreciated we're back in contact now.
    I hope things work out well between yourself and her. Good luck to you.
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    Put her behind you if you can, she's probably doing it for attention and enjoying the fact that you're making a massive effort just to ask her what you've supposedly done, I bet you eventually she will unblock you and try to contact you again..this will be your chance to ignore her like she did to you. She's not worth it!
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    My ex did mess me up a lot with what he did and I did end up seeing a lot of psychologists this year and turns out I have borderline personality disorder. That doesn't justify what I did but I thought that may shed some light on my behaviour.
    It's hard for me to admit this, but I have borderline personality disorder too, related a lot to abuse I suffered in my childhood. I'm not going to go anon because it would lose whatever gravity I'm trying to convey - the one thing I didn't do is push away people who just wanted to be there for me. It was a bit hard for them to understand at first and I was worried they were going to think they had to tread on eggshells around me, but my friends have been amazing with me, and if anything, it's brought me closer to them.

    OP sounds like a genuinely lovely guy and it sounds like you're using a pretty flimsy excuse of "Oh, I have X, therefore it's ok I did Y" that so many people will use when they find out they "have" something. Most people could go into a GPs and come out diagnosed with some sort of mental disorder, but it's only the weak willed who will use it as an excuse. I truly hope that you stay in contact with him and make it up to him. He deserves better than the treatment he got.
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    (Original post by ANARCHY__)
    I hope things work out well between yourself and her. Good luck to you.
    Thank you

    (Original post by ysgytlaeth)
    Put her behind you if you can, she's probably doing it for attention and enjoying the fact that you're making a massive effort just to ask her what you've supposedly done, I bet you eventually she will unblock you and try to contact you again..this will be your chance to ignore her like she did to you. She's not worth it!
    Unfortunately I'm incapable of not not saying "no" but unable to forget the happy times regardless of what happened in the present. I do think I need to be a harder person for my own sake but this particular situation needs to be handled sensitively. I really do want to be friends with her still.


    (Original post by TwilightKnight)
    It's hard for me to admit this, but I have borderline personality disorder too, related a lot to abuse I suffered in my childhood. I'm not going to go anon because it would lose whatever gravity I'm trying to convey - the one thing I didn't do is push away people who just wanted to be there for me. It was a bit hard for them to understand at first and I was worried they were going to think they had to tread on eggshells around me, but my friends have been amazing with me, and if anything, it's brought me closer to them.

    OP sounds like a genuinely lovely guy and it sounds like you're using a pretty flimsy excuse of "Oh, I have X, therefore it's ok I did Y" that so many people will use when they find out they "have" something. Most people could go into a GPs and come out diagnosed with some sort of mental disorder, but it's only the weak willed who will use it as an excuse. I truly hope that you stay in contact with him and make it up to him. He deserves better than the treatment he got.
    Thank you for sharing this, I can only imagine how difficult it is to speak publicly about this sort of thing. I'm not a doctor or a psychologist so it's not for me to comment on in a broad sense but I think that we can agree that any troubles whether they be psychological or otherwise affect us all in different ways and we all go about doing things differently to rise above it. Whilst I cannot sympathise with what has happened between her and myself I can empathise and try to look at the situation in her shoes. We are in contact now, and I hope that we're on a road to recovery. Thank you for your kind words, and I wish you all the strength in the world
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    So, in-case any of the posters are interested in what has happened over the last 5 months, or if me bringing this thread back to life by this post (how very meta) has intrigued you enough, let me reveal all.

    It turns out that despite the pleasantries and behind the (somewhat) sorry nature expressed by the lady in question, the "road to recovery" as mentioned by myself above lasted about as long as a chocolate bar in an oven. Barely a few weeks after contact was jump-started by my thread, my texts were not returned, I remain blocked on social networking sites and I have subsequently given up.


    Now, to talk to you directly, you were a (brief) part of my life yet I remember feeling a twang on the proverbial heartstrings if I went a day without speaking to you. You've made me feel every feeling possible, from when I felt awkward amongst your friends to staying up late talking about nonsense. But am I bitter about it? Honestly, no. I travelled to have a meal with a bunch of people whom I've never met and faced my own social anxiety issues not because I wanted to get into bed with you, but because I wanted to spend time with you.

    Your inability to even talk to me has led me to the conclusion that you think I'm not good enough to be a part of your life, or perhaps you think your boyfriend might suspect you of cheating or ask questions about who I am should he glance at your Twitter feed and see a strange name. I considered momentarily if I would be sat here writing all this if I had fallen in love with someone else. Would I be worried about her misunderstanding where I'm coming from? Would you be talking to me if you were single? I am a caring person and so, yes I would still be sat here. I would because I value(d) you.

    I'm not angry; simply disappointed that you seem willing to throw everything we had away over something so trivial. I wish you good luck in your studies at university; you know how to contact me if you want to try again (albeit for the very last time).
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    You messed up son. Having you chasing her around pleading is exactly what she wanted. You should have just instantly dropped her and left her to realize what unimportant immature idiot she is to you.
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    (Original post by WGR)
    You messed up son. Having you chasing her around pleading is exactly what she wanted. You should have just instantly dropped her and left her to realize what unimportant immature idiot she is to you.
    Amen.

    And what's with the last sentence OP?

    "You know how to contact me if you want to try again."

    Why are you even giving her that option? Stop letting her treat you like a puppet on strings. Cut out this beta behaviour.
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    "O" "M" "G" I thoroughly enjoyed that Hahaha.

    I am loving how you even pleaded with her father, epic !
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    (Original post by fat_hobbit)
    I think this is what guys complain about with women.

    Rather then telling him that it isnt going to happen, this girl strung him.

    OP I have been there before - its ****. You waste all that time validating her ego only to get nothing worthwhile back.
    this is BS. sorry but why does considering a guy a friend equal "stringing him along"? if he does not have the balls to tell you himself and instead just fantasises about it while remaining close to you... what can you do? at most you can only GUESS he likes you, but you don't know for sure. plus if you like his friendship you don't want to lose him by bringing it up.
    as for "validating her ego and getting nothing back"... if you are only hanging around her in order to get some action then you should be upfront about it instead of pretending to be her friend. if you feel like you are OWED something due to acting like a friend, you're a ****.
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    (Original post by Moura)
    this is BS. sorry but why does considering a guy a friend equal "stringing him along"? if he does not have the balls to tell you himself and instead just fantasises about it while remaining close to you... what can you do? at most you can only GUESS he likes you, but you don't know for sure. plus if you like his friendship you don't want to lose him by bringing it up.
    as for "validating her ego and getting nothing back"... if you are only hanging around her in order to get some action then you should be upfront about it instead of pretending to be her friend. if you feel like you are OWED something due to acting like a friend, you're a ****.
    I'm generally not friends with girls I fancy, for exactly, this reason.
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    (Original post by Jonnyisonfire)
    So, in-case any of the posters are interested in what has happened over the last 5 months, or if me bringing this thread back to life by this post (how very meta) has intrigued you enough, let me reveal all.

    It turns out that despite the pleasantries and behind the (somewhat) sorry nature expressed by the lady in question, the "road to recovery" as mentioned by myself above lasted about as long as a chocolate bar in an oven. Barely a few weeks after contact was jump-started by my thread, my texts were not returned, I remain blocked on social networking sites and I have subsequently given up.


    Now, to talk to you directly, you were a (brief) part of my life yet I remember feeling a twang on the proverbial heartstrings if I went a day without speaking to you. You've made me feel every feeling possible, from when I felt awkward amongst your friends to staying up late talking about nonsense. But am I bitter about it? Honestly, no. I travelled to have a meal with a bunch of people whom I've never met and faced my own social anxiety issues not because I wanted to get into bed with you, but because I wanted to spend time with you.

    Your inability to even talk to me has led me to the conclusion that you think I'm not good enough to be a part of your life, or perhaps you think your boyfriend might suspect you of cheating or ask questions about who I am should he glance at your Twitter feed and see a strange name. I considered momentarily if I would be sat here writing all this if I had fallen in love with someone else. Would I be worried about her misunderstanding where I'm coming from? Would you be talking to me if you were single? I am a caring person and so, yes I would still be sat here. I would because I value(d) you.

    I'm not angry; simply disappointed that you seem willing to throw everything we had away over something so trivial. I wish you good luck in your studies at university; you know how to contact me if you want to try again (albeit for the very last time).
    In time, you will forget. Good luck to you. You seem a good person.
 
 
 
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