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My friend wanted to have gay sex with me? Watch

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    I'd be surprised if you were actually able to sleep after that
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    Why is it out of the question if you do not know whether or not he wants to?

    I obviously have little what? Tits? Yeah I know.

    YOu don't know me either. Sexual repression can really screw with your mind as much as promiscuity does. Take it from a 20 year old who only just got her first boyfriend... Who was also a virgin lol
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    (Original post by Jaegon Targaryen)
    "Experimentation is normal" What do you think this is , an American teenage movie ? If your a heterosexual lad , and your mates with a dude for a long time ****ing him is out of the question fullstop . There are some things you just don't do . Its hard to explain this to someone who obviously has little ... yeah let me just stop there .
    It really isn't out of the question. Why should friends not be able to experiment? I fail to remember the section in the "Bro code" where it clearly states that two friends that consent and are open to experimentation may absolutely never act on those desires.

    Society and "lad culture" particularly has conditioned you to think in a very closed-minded and sex-negative way. So please... continue - explain how we're so wrong?
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    flol. Some of the posts in this thread. . .

    OP sounds like maybe he has some unexpressed gay thoughts, and the alcohol fueled him into making a decision he otherwise wouldn't if sober.

    Since he's denied all knowledge of it, it either means he's too embarrassed to admit it or simply doesn't remember doing it.

    If you really are interested in his answer, broach it again, but I suggest leaving it. If he is gay/bisexual he'll admit it in his own time.

    Ignore what the other poster was saying, if you're not gay at all why on earth would you experiment? I'm not sure how they even came to that conclusion from your post. :rolleyes:
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    (Original post by raiden95)
    I'd be surprised if you were actually able to sleep after that
    Why? For fear that his good friend who asked a very serious and difficult question and got turned down would suddenly have an insatiable urge to sexually assault his friend?
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    (Original post by SebMurphy)
    It is estimated that 10% of the population is gay - therefore it stands to reason that something like 10% of the guys in your school are gay.
    I hope you wouldn't mind providing the evidence for this estimate? Be nice to know if it's backed up by a scientific journal or the Daily Fail.

    (Original post by PricklyPorcupine)
    Oookay well don't want to freak you out but about 25% of my class are homosexual/bisexual. Some of us decided to keep a count and do not say its rumours about the 25%: if you could see it you would know it was true.
    You had a tally in your school with crap loads of angst teenagers that like to ride the waves of being "so liberal," and took it to be a significant and accurate representation of the whole population? Had any of these bisexuals/homosexuals actually done the deed, or as I suspect just saying they're bisexual/gay?

    I see a great career ahead of you. Just nothing science based.
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    (Original post by raiden95)
    I'd be surprised if you were actually able to sleep after that
    Why?
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    Went into town, had a few drinks with a friend and he asked if he could stay at mine the night. I saw no problem as friends have stayed before. We got back and he got in my bed, once again, not a problem as I've done that before. We was fully clothed.

    What I didn't expect was him to put his arm around my waist. I presumed he was joking and shrugged it off. Then he asked if he wanted sex with me. He laughed as if it was a joke. Then I asked really? And he went yeah go on then. I pushed him aside and he started accusing me of being gay and wanted to see if it was true.

    I pushed him aside and we fell asleep. When we woke up he acted like nothing happened.

    Dunno, they say that alcohol simply removes inhibitions? Is it possible he was joking or being serious?
    Dude for him to actually say that to you means that he is having thoughts about about same sex relations. The best thing you can do is next time you two meet up talk to him about it. If you bury things it will get awkward and you wont really know what hes actually thinking.

    If you were freinds before this incident, gay or not gay, you shouldnt let whatever the outcome effect your freindship.
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    (Original post by Mad Vlad)
    Why? For fear that his good friend who asked a very serious and difficult question and got turned down would suddenly have an insatiable urge to sexually assault his friend?
    Ah you beat me to it, damn slow phone! I'm not sure why people think that all homosexuals are rapists. If I turn a guy down they usually just apologise for making me feel awkward/explain they didn't realise I have a boyfriend and that's it.
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    (Original post by Little Wolf Taima)
    Why is it out of the question if you do not know whether or not he wants to?

    I obviously have little what? Tits? Yeah I know.

    YOu don't know me either. Sexual repression can really screw with your mind as much as promiscuity does. Take it from a 20 year old who only just got her first boyfriend... Who was also a virgin lol
    Tits ? Who the hell brought up your chest size , is that an insecurity of yours or something.

    I was referring to values regarding sexuality and dos or donts.
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    Went into town, had a few drinks with a friend and he asked if he could stay at mine the night. I saw no problem as friends have stayed before. We got back and he got in my bed, once again, not a problem as I've done that before. We was fully clothed.

    What I didn't expect was him to put his arm around my waist. I presumed he was joking and shrugged it off. Then he asked if he wanted sex with me. He laughed as if it was a joke. Then I asked really? And he went yeah go on then. I pushed him aside and he started accusing me of being gay and wanted to see if it was true.

    I pushed him aside and we fell asleep. When we woke up he acted like nothing happened.

    Dunno, they say that alcohol simply removes inhibitions? Is it possible he was joking or being serious?
    I'd recommend leaving it a day or two and having a private conversation with him. Don't get all pissy with him - in all probability, he's going through a difficult time at the moment if he's exploring his sexuality. He may have nobody else to talk to about it. It's likely that if indeed he was being genuinely serious, the alcohol lowered his inhibitions and that he does find you attractive - you're already good friends and given the possibility that he finds you physically attractive, he maybe asked a question that he was too afraid to ask in normal circumstances. My recommendation is to not think too much of this. You're straight so it doesn't sound like much will come of this, but even if he does find you attractive - take it as a compliment. Don't treat him differently. Offer your support - he may not feel that he can talk to you about sexuality. I'd encourage you to talk to him about it - reassure him that what happened you can put down to alcohol and that while you're not interested in being romantically or sexually involved with him, that you'll still be there for him as a friend.

    Who knows, while he may have appeared all Business as Usual this morning, he may be dying inside because he's worried that he's done something incredibly stupid and that he'll lose you as a friend and that people will ostracise him for who he is. He's probably really worried about what will come of this and he's going to need you to be mature and reasonable about this - and most importantly, a good friend.
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    (Original post by Mad Vlad)
    Why? For fear that his good friend who asked a very serious and difficult question and got turned down would suddenly have an insatiable urge to sexually assault his friend?
    Nope awkwardness more than anything else
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    (Original post by Mad Vlad)
    It really isn't out of the question. Why should friends not be able to experiment? I fail to remember the section in the "Bro code" where it clearly states that two friends that consent and are open to experimentation may absolutely never act on those desires.

    Society and "lad culture" particularly has conditioned you to think in a very closed-minded and sex-negative way. So please... continue - explain how we're so wrong?
    If you aren't gay then why on earth would you engage in homosexual activities fullstop , I don't understand , that is why I think experimenting is stupid . Homosexuals tend to say they were born gay , if you aren't gay then you aren't gay . You don't suddenly say hmm I find Brad Pitt attractive maybe im gay.

    Yeah you fail to remember it , that's why you see groups of guys snogging each other down the pub or at a football match right ? Its just something you don't do .

    Society hasn't conditioned me at all , these are my opinions based on my subjective attitudes and morals . Society has evidently conditioned you to be too open minded and tolerant of anything whatsoever.
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    (Original post by raiden95)
    Nope awkwardness more than anything else
    A mature individual would just brush that off and go to sleep, tbh.
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    (Original post by Mad Vlad)
    A mature individual would just brush that off and go to sleep, tbh.
    Out of interest , are you gay bro ?

    Mature individual my arse . Im sure the vast majority of guys would have some sort of problem with a close mate coming on to them .
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    (Original post by Mad Vlad)
    I'd recommend leaving it a day or two and having a private conversation with him. Don't get all pissy with him - in all probability, he's going through a difficult time at the moment if he's exploring his sexuality. He may have nobody else to talk to about it. It's likely that if indeed he was being genuinely serious, the alcohol lowered his inhibitions and that he does find you attractive - you're already good friends and given the possibility that he finds you physically attractive, he maybe asked a question that he was too afraid to ask in normal circumstances. My recommendation is to not think too much of this. You're straight so it doesn't sound like much will come of this, but even if he does find you attractive - take it as a compliment. Don't treat him differently. Offer your support - he may not feel that he can talk to you about sexuality. I'd encourage you to talk to him about it - reassure him that what happened you can put down to alcohol and that while you're not interested in being romantically or sexually involved with him, that you'll still be there for him as a friend.

    Who knows, while he may have appeared all Business as Usual this morning, he may be dying inside because he's worried that he's done something incredibly stupid and that he'll lose you as a friend and that people will ostracise him for who he is. He's probably really worried about what will come of this and he's going to need you to be mature and reasonable about this - and most importantly, a good friend.
    Instead of me driving him back home, he instead texted a person in discrete to get a lift. I caught a glimpse of his text message, didn't mean to look and it said: "was at a ****s house, lol". But yeah, he woke up and waited for the girl to ring and he left. So yeah I think he might be embarrassed or so.
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    (Original post by Mad Vlad)
    A mature individual would just brush that off and go to sleep, tbh.
    I guess you'd have to be quite mature, its just the fact that if it was a friend I would find it awkward
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    (Original post by Alpharius)
    I hope you wouldn't mind providing the evidence for this estimate? Be nice to know if it's backed up by a scientific journal or the Daily Fail.

    My bad, massive flaw in my stat.

    Its actually 3% according to the 2011 Census for young people 16-24 who identify themselves as L/B/G.
    Of course there may be as much as the same number again who put straight just because thats what they think they should put. Or are ashamed of being gay.
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    (Original post by Jaegon Targaryen)
    ...

    Society hasn't conditioned me at all , these are my opinions based on my subjective attitudes and morals . Society has evidently conditioned you to be too open minded and tolerant of anything whatsoever.
    Doing well, doing well...

    Then BAM! Bull****.

    Everyone has been conditioned by the society they are a part of. Aside from living under a rock your whole life and not moving, no getting away from it. No psychologist would disagree with what I've just said.

    Back on topic; OP, talk to him about it. Be calm, be open with him, and if he is having a hard time, help him. If it really was just a joke to make you feel uncomfortable, it's done the trick.

    (Original post by SebMurphy)
    My bad, massive flaw in my stat.

    Its actually 3% according to the 2011 Census for young people 16-24 who identify themselves as L/B/G.
    Of course there may be as much as the same number again who put straight just because thats what they think they should put. Or are ashamed of being gay.
    No worries kid. If my Bachelor's degree in Biology has taught me one thing, it's reference, reference and more references.
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    I'd personally say leave it alone. If he is gay - so what - he knows you aren't now and won't try it again. Don't lose a friendship over it tbh.
    You could even friendly joke about getting him a bf so that doesn't happen again if the topic ever comes up etc - show that you wouldn't be bothered by that stuff.
 
 
 
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