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Haven't had sex with girlfriend but been together 14 months Watch

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    (Original post by thediamondsky)
    I'm expecting replies calling into question my lad points, etc etc. But I really love my girlfriend, and after so long I am starting to worry that if it won't happen soon it will never happen. We are 18, in an LDR but see each other every holidays and a few times in term time.

    I am ready but she feels she isn't yet. I have waited for a long time and I am happy to do so, just wish we could take the step that makes our relationship an adult one.
    Your in the friend zone till you get it!
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    (Original post by thediamondsky)
    Yes, well they believe that sex isn't needed in a relationship until marriage, fair play to them. I don't believe that, and that's my opinion. I believe sex is an important part of a relationship, as much as the emotional side is. To show she trusts me, loves me physically in a complete sense.
    You are entitled to your opinion but your statement in your original post shows ignorance. I agree with you, I believe it's important to explore both aspects of a relationship and the fact that you have waited so long clearly shows that you care about her and are in it for the long haul. You are 18 so you are legal. I think it might be time to talk to her about how you feel. Don't confront or accuse her directly but just ask her what's going through her head, what she is worried about and be attentive and respond to what she says. She may have a very good reason to wait or maybe she is just scared or insecure about her body. Either way you'll get to the bottom of it. You have every right to ask her as you've been together a long time and she should feel comfortable talking to you about these things. As a relationship is between 2 people, you bot need to be comfortable and happy and it should be a mutual thing
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    So? Relationships are much more than sex so if you can't wait until she's ready then just find someone else but I bet you'll be sadder for loser her.
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    (Original post by Octopus_Garden)
    Just because our culture only thinks of heterosexual penis-in-vagina sex counts as "proper sex" doesn't mean that is right. Especially with the amount of double-think bound up in it.

    You yourself have just said that: sex, meaning 'insertion of the male genitalia inside the female genitalia'. Logically enough, you feel that lesbians can't have sex.

    Fine. It's an opinion I've heard many times. From men, and from women.

    But. Why is it that I have never heard that gay men can't have sex, because there's no vagina involved? They're both equally (in)valid heterocentric beliefs. This is the internet, so someone will post to say they've heard the latter, but even so, it still nowhere approaches the frequency of the former.

    Unless you are trying to conceive, there is no need for this outmoded, outdated value put on penis-in-vagina sex. It's fun, yes. When done properly. So are all the others. When done properly.
    Gay men don't have sex. They have "anal sex". Again, different word, different meaning. Any hang ups about the value of one sexual activity over the other are based on your end, not mine. I am not making a judgment about any sexual activity being "better", just informing you of the terms!


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    She's clearly getting gorilla ****ed on the side and feels no need for your penis.
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    (Original post by Hypocrism)
    Gay men don't have sex. They have "anal sex". Again, different word, different meaning. Any hang ups about the value of one sexual activity over the other are based on your end, not mine. I am not making a judgment about any sexual activity being "better", just informing you of the terms!


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    If you think all activities, except for one, need a qualifier in front, I think that is showing your own prejudices.
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    (Original post by Octopus_Garden)
    If you think all activities, except for one, need a qualifier in front, I think that is showing your own prejudices.
    You can call it "vaginal sex" if you like, it makes no difference. The real point is: "vaginal sex" is a synonym for sex, but sex is not a synonym for anal sex. I don't invent the terms; should I apologise for the way language evolved?

    Actually, that's not even my original point. The point was that, for a heterosexual couple, where "vaginal sex" is possible, engaging in other sexual acts considered (for heterosexual couples) to be less intimate than "vaginal sex" shows a lack of desire to have that level of intimacy together. That can be for good reasons or bad reasons, and I was saying that I think they should communicate to determine if it was for good reasons, where he can be satisfied that he isn't being taken advantage of, or for bad reasons, in which case they should be sorted out in whatever way he sees suitable.


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    (Original post by Juichiro)
    Really? When the focus of his thought is his penis who is gonna believe you? :rolleyes:
    Not even mad
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    I wouldn't like the way she seems to use the word 'might' either, but she seems to be appropriately setting your expectations at least instead of getting your hopes up. If she's in a relationship, then she should know that it is appropriate for you to expect that you will have sex at some point, even if that's within marriage. It could indicate a lack of sexual desire for you.

    You're not likely to find she wants it more if you talk about it too often, though. And as others have said, you should enjoy other expressions of intimacy for the time being and just let it happen at the right time.
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    (Original post by thediamondsky)
    I'm expecting replies calling into question my lad points, etc etc. But I really love my girlfriend, and after so long I am starting to worry that if it won't happen soon it will never happen. We are 18, in an LDR but see each other every holidays and a few times in term time.

    I am ready but she feels she isn't yet. I have waited for a long time and I am happy to do so, just wish we could take the step that makes our relationship an adult one.
    She is waiting for you to propose to her
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    (Original post by thediamondsky)
    There's a thing called love though, not just after sex.
    Sex also comes with the package , who knows maybe some guy named Bob is going balls deep inside her and she's just saying she's not ready cos she knows there is a guy on a side. OP is too young for this bull****.
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    (Original post by thediamondsky)
    I'm expecting replies calling into question my lad points, etc etc. But I really love my girlfriend, and after so long I am starting to worry that if it won't happen soon it will never happen. We are 18, in an LDR but see each other every holidays and a few times in term time.

    I am ready but she feels she isn't yet. I have waited for a long time and I am happy to do so, just wish we could take the step that makes our relationship an adult one.
    Don't pressure her if she isn't ready.

    You've spent 14 months with her, and you've said you love her, so (IMO) no point on giving up now. When she's ready, it'll happen. If you can't take waiting any longer, leave.

    Is it because she's a virgin? And/or religious?
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    "Oh no woe is me I can't wet my paint brush!" .Grow up, just please grow up... If you think sex makes your relationship adult you are kidding yourself, like a kid playing marriage or something. If you truly enjoy a persons company you will be content with what you get which is companionship and a more deeper connection than your shaft in a hole.
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    I am here
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    At this rate are you sure she's your girlfriend or?
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    You might of not had sex, but a lot of people would love to have been in a 14 month+ relationship
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