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18 and getting kicked out because i'm going to Thailand. Watch

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    (Original post by RichyFrench)
    I really dunno how I'd deal with an unreasonable mother like this. Parenting shouldn't mean controlling the lives of your children, it should be guiding them to protect them and help them avoid making mistakes, but ultimately letting you lead your own life. If she's always been like this and you can't reason with her, I guess being kinda unreasonable would be your best option. Fight fire with fire, so to speak.

    Tell her that if she forces you to move out, you'll work as an escort to earn money to stay afloat so you can still afford to go to Bangkok. She'll love that. (This would be a big bluff, although if you would be prepared to do it for your trip, that helps too.) She needs to understand how seriously important this trip is to you. She also needs to realise that you're an adult now and you can look after yourself. You've planned to go with a friend and would never be walking around Thailand by yourself, you deserve some credit.

    You could also say that as your mum's insistence moving out means you'll have far less money, you looked at somewhere else to go. The airline wouldn't let you cancel but they allowed you to change your ticket for a new destination, and that you're going to Juarez, Mexico because you can stay with the drug cartels for free.
    This would be my tactic.

    Call her bluff. She clearly wants to be really controlling and can't handle you going off on your own.

    So how would she feel if you actually did just leave home? Live on friends sofas etc. Come visit and pretend you've been sleeping on the streets (very safe!). She'd be loosing all control, and clearly she enjoys having control over you - and uses pretty disgusting tactics to do it. I'd guess she would hate it if you left, for you it would probably be a nice holiday sleeping over at friends houses.

    Start looking at rooms to rent and jobs, make it clear you are moving out - she will hate it because the major thing she has to control you is the house. At some point you are going to be moving out and she is going to go mental probably lol but I'd guess she really doesn't want you to.


    However dangerous going to Thailand is she is being a huge ***** threatening to throw you out on the street because of it. You are 19 for gods sake... I'd take this as an opportunity to leave home.
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    (Original post by Annuhlees)
    As the title says. We usually get on alright- we're not best of friends and I do try to avoid my Mum usually as she's quite backwards with the times (she's in her late 50's).<br />
    <br />
    Basically, I've booked a ticket to Bangkok with my best friend for 5 weeks, we hope to do some travelling.<br />
    <br />
    She's kicked off! Massively! She's said things like &quot;Do you really expect to come home from a country like that?!&quot; and &quot;Are you really that selfish to want to go somewhere like that?!&quot; She reckons i'm going to be kidnapped, sold into the sex trade and going to be on drugs.<br />
    <br />
    She said that she would be pretty angry if I went to Spain for a week with a friend let alone Asia. She wants me to cancel my ticket which I refuse (i've spent £600 on it!) plus I really want to go.<br />
    <br />
    I'll be 19 once I go and i've got 3 months before I go to university. I'm going to be a Geography student so wanting to travel is in my blood. <br />
    <br />
    She reckons if she kicks me out now i'll have to spend all my money up so i'll have nothing to take with me. But, I will have enough to support myself now and for my trip but i'll have nothing for university.<br />
    <br />
    So A) Is there a way to persuade her that Southeast Asia is okay? Is there a website with the amount of murders/crimes in this area? (I really wanted to go to India/Sri Lanka but that's too dangerous)<br />
    <br />
    B) Is there anyway that school can help me find accommodation? Any form of benefits that can help me pay for things like food/accommodation? I understand that I won't get a flat but a room would do me. (I've got no friends I could live with atm, they could put me up for a couple of days max)<br />
    <br />
    Blimey, this is a mess. I've been to America on my own and i've stayed in Barcelona in a hostel before; I know it's not the same but I am quite mature! I have my wits about me, i'm not stupid.
    <br />
    <br />

    why not make a point of telling her how many Brits actually travel there? Show her some pictures of where exactly you're going and give her names of hotels and stuff you're staying at. You cam give her a ring once a night through Skype or something (buy credit and you can call her phone from it for pretty cheap).

    Thailand, like everywhere abroad gets bad press and scaremongering. Its what makes for good TV. I did a month long stint in china solo amd that was fine. I just let my mum have a printout of my itinerary.

    you need to not go at her in an argument, just bring her round by showing her that you're aware of where you should and shouldn't go, and that you're happy to do a drug test when you come back so she knows you're not going off the rails whenever you're away from her.
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    (Original post by Annuhlees)
    As the title says. We usually get on alright- we're not best of friends and I do try to avoid my Mum usually as she's quite backwards with the times (she's in her late 50's).

    Basically, I've booked a ticket to Bangkok with my best friend for 5 weeks, we hope to do some travelling.

    She's kicked off! Massively! She's said things like "Do you really expect to come home from a country like that?!" and "Are you really that selfish to want to go somewhere like that?!" She reckons i'm going to be kidnapped, sold into the sex trade and going to be on drugs.

    She said that she would be pretty angry if I went to Spain for a week with a friend let alone Asia. She wants me to cancel my ticket which I refuse (i've spent £600 on it!) plus I really want to go.

    I'll be 19 once I go and i've got 3 months before I go to university. I'm going to be a Geography student so wanting to travel is in my blood.

    She reckons if she kicks me out now i'll have to spend all my money up so i'll have nothing to take with me. But, I will have enough to support myself now and for my trip but i'll have nothing for university.

    So A) Is there a way to persuade her that Southeast Asia is okay? Is there a website with the amount of murders/crimes in this area? (I really wanted to go to India/Sri Lanka but that's too dangerous)

    B) Is there anyway that school can help me find accommodation? Any form of benefits that can help me pay for things like food/accommodation? I understand that I won't get a flat but a room would do me. (I've got no friends I could live with atm, they could put me up for a couple of days max)

    Blimey, this is a mess. I've been to America on my own and i've stayed in Barcelona in a hostel before; I know it's not the same but I am quite mature! I have my wits about me, i'm not stupid.
    Your mums ridiculous. I'm assuming a hypocrite too because I doubt shes traveled around Thailand before.

    I went travelling alone for 3 months last summer and spent 6 weeks on my own in Thailand.

    Travelling is more risky for girls, but you'll meet loads of nice guys who will travel with you where you stay and the dodgy locals will leave you alone.

    Aslong as you have your wits about you then you should be fine. I met my current girlfriend in Bangkok and she had travelled alone for 3 months around S.E Asia and was fine.

    Your mum is just being over protective.
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    (Original post by Vikki1805)
    Sounds like it's gonna be a job for Liam Neeson.
    Well played.
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    guys, south east asia is safe. pick any countries really. even if they cant speak english they will try their best to help you with their broken english or sign language if they have to. that is in our attitude to help people.

    especially the Thais, havent you heard Thai hospitality? they are the nicest bunch in the region!!!
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    (Original post by Annuhlees)
    As the title says. We usually get on alright- we're not best of friends and I do try to avoid my Mum usually as she's quite backwards with the times (she's in her late 50's).

    Basically, I've booked a ticket to Bangkok with my best friend for 5 weeks, we hope to do some travelling.

    She's kicked off! Massively! She's said things like "Do you really expect to come home from a country like that?!" and "Are you really that selfish to want to go somewhere like that?!" She reckons i'm going to be kidnapped, sold into the sex trade and going to be on drugs.

    She said that she would be pretty angry if I went to Spain for a week with a friend let alone Asia. She wants me to cancel my ticket which I refuse (i've spent £600 on it!) plus I really want to go.

    I'll be 19 once I go and i've got 3 months before I go to university. I'm going to be a Geography student so wanting to travel is in my blood.

    She reckons if she kicks me out now i'll have to spend all my money up so i'll have nothing to take with me. But, I will have enough to support myself now and for my trip but i'll have nothing for university.

    So A) Is there a way to persuade her that Southeast Asia is okay? Is there a website with the amount of murders/crimes in this area? (I really wanted to go to India/Sri Lanka but that's too dangerous)

    B) Is there anyway that school can help me find accommodation? Any form of benefits that can help me pay for things like food/accommodation? I understand that I won't get a flat but a room would do me. (I've got no friends I could live with atm, they could put me up for a couple of days max)

    Blimey, this is a mess. I've been to America on my own and i've stayed in Barcelona in a hostel before; I know it's not the same but I am quite mature! I have my wits about me, i'm not stupid.
    It does seem like an unfair reaction (although how old are you?) but really....:facepalm: Why do you want to go to Thailand. Let alone risk getting kicked out of home for it.
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    Speaking as a half Thai, I am going to assume your mother has never been to south east Asia and the majority of her views have been warped and molded by the media and stereotype.
    Undeniably there are some dodgy areas in Thailand as is the case with London and literally anywhere else on the planet. She should be made aware that sex trade/drugs/kidnaps are very much not an everyday occurrence. Its not as if me and my brothers were on the look out for strangers/drugs/genitalia on the way to the local supermarket.

    The best advice I can give you prior to going is show your mother that regardless of Thailand being a developing country, its seemed to have little effect on its multi-million dollar tourism industry meaning people go there (and funnily enough they also return home)

    The best advice I can give you for when you arrive is learn the basic etiquette and use your common sense. You'll be fine.
    Have a great time.
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    (Original post by Dejah Thoris)
    Well played.
    Thank you. :hat2:
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    I really want to go to Thailand for a holiday with my boyfriend, but even he says that if I want to go to Thailand, I'm on my own. I'm going to go there at some point anyway, but yeah some people are scared.
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    https://www.gov.uk/foreign-travel-advice/thailand
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    So the best thing that can happen here is for your mum to accept your plans, without souring the relationship between the two of you.
    There's no reason why you can't move out, get a job, fend for yourself etc. But in your shoes I'd make this plan B, ie. if you can't talk her round, this is what you fall back on.

    For this reason I'd avoid being confrontational. Sit down with her and have a chat about it, try and be really understanding. Ask her what specifically bothers her about the plan. Come up with reasons why she shouldn't worry about those specific things. Concede that you should have asked her first and that you're sorry. Come up with ways you are going to stay safe, and maybe the cultural/geographically interesting things you are going to visit. Say how it will prepare you for the independence of being at university.

    If she still says no, DON'T say "fine, I don't care what you think, I'm moving out and going anyway". DO say, "I understand that you're worried and upset about this, but this is something I really want to do, that I will learn a lot from, and I'm prepared to show you that I'm a responsible adult and that I can work for the things I want in life, so I'm prepared to get a job and start supporting myself."
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    (Original post by Annuhlees)
    As the title says. We usually get on alright- we're not best of friends and I do try to avoid my Mum usually as she's quite backwards with the times (she's in her late 50's).

    Basically, I've booked a ticket to Bangkok with my best friend for 5 weeks, we hope to do some travelling.

    She's kicked off! Massively! She's said things like "Do you really expect to come home from a country like that?!" and "Are you really that selfish to want to go somewhere like that?!" She reckons i'm going to be kidnapped, sold into the sex trade and going to be on drugs.

    She said that she would be pretty angry if I went to Spain for a week with a friend let alone Asia. She wants me to cancel my ticket which I refuse (i've spent £600 on it!) plus I really want to go.

    I'll be 19 once I go and i've got 3 months before I go to university. I'm going to be a Geography student so wanting to travel is in my blood.

    She reckons if she kicks me out now i'll have to spend all my money up so i'll have nothing to take with me. But, I will have enough to support myself now and for my trip but i'll have nothing for university.

    So A) Is there a way to persuade her that Southeast Asia is okay? Is there a website with the amount of murders/crimes in this area? (I really wanted to go to India/Sri Lanka but that's too dangerous)

    B) Is there anyway that school can help me find accommodation? Any form of benefits that can help me pay for things like food/accommodation? I understand that I won't get a flat but a room would do me. (I've got no friends I could live with atm, they could put me up for a couple of days max)

    Blimey, this is a mess. I've been to America on my own and i've stayed in Barcelona in a hostel before; I know it's not the same but I am quite mature! I have my wits about me, i'm not stupid.
    What makes you think India is dangerous?
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    (Original post by Annuhlees)
    It's not rebelling
    it's 'I'm 19 in May, i'm young and i'm going todo
    something I want to do in life'. She'll probably
    win, she's threatened my family against me with
    'Your gran will never talk to you or your sister (she
    agreed at the beginning)'.

    Thank-you! I think i'll need it


    May I ask, why Thailand specifically?
    It's certainly not the first place I would want to holiday in on my own :no:
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    Your mum's a coward.

    Thailand is hardly a warzone. And neither are India or Sri Lanka for that matter. For the bits that still are (Line of Control, parts of Assam, vicinity of Kandy) the authorities don't actually allow foreigners to get too close. They could be spies/agents after all.
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    (Original post by Annuhlees)
    My mum doesn't support me she just roofs me and it's my Gran who paid the mortgage. I think the last time she gave me dinner money was when I was 13? I had to pay for my holiday last year to see my sister etc.

    She wanted me to go to university what she picked (Cambridge!) because I live in Cambridgeshire (I'm a B/C grade student). I had to put up with her going crazy over me going to Portsmouth but she's luckily got over that one. She's a control freak, she wouldn't allow me to go so I just booked it. I knew it would take some time for her to come around; I thought she would just give me the silent treatment for a few days.
    I'm sorry your Mum is like this, OP. Although my Mum wouldn't threaten me over this, I can sympathise with having a control freak of a Mum.

    I have nothing to suggest but to think about moving out. You can't live under her thumb forever, you need to live your own life.

    GL hun!
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    I dont understand why you would book it and not discuss it with your mum. You live under her roof.
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    If she really does kick you out, she's a mega *****. Just tell her that you're going, and if she wants to kick you out then that's her decision, but it's also your decision if you'll ever speak to her again. Seriously, I couldn't imagine someone kicking their child out over something like this.
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    (Original post by Muckoz)
    I dont understand why you would book it and not discuss it with your mum. You live under her roof.
    Because she's an adult and it's her choice?
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    tell her the alternative is that you go stay in Glasgow for 5 weeks. show her the stats, Glasgow is the murder capital of Europe!
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    (Original post by Michaelj)
    Because she's an adult and it's her choice?
    define adult. 18 and over and living under your parents house who pay the bills and for the food you eat?
 
 
 
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