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    • Welcome Squad
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    Welcome Squad
    (Original post by tomgidlow)
    You know how it is, nah mean
    No, I don't :rolleyes: most women aren't out to hurt you, you little special snowflake.
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    Wolf whistle and then beckon him over with your index finger while looking grave and serious.
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    Ask him if he would like to get a coffee with you next time he needs a revision break.
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    (Original post by ChocoCoatedLemons)
    No, I don't :rolleyes: most women aren't out to hurt you, you little special snowflake.


    You are probably uncool.
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    I don't understand how people grew up and lived there lives to the extent where talking to strangers is so difficult and scary.

    I mean what happened when you were a kid? Did you never go to the park or play out and meet other kids? Do you never go out and end up chatting to people. Do you not chat to people when you are in a queue in the shops or when you are waiting somewhere?

    If you really don't know what you are doing and haven't had the chance to develop normal social skills - you just need to dive in at the deep end and start.

    In this situation, it is probably now awkward because instead of being natural and saying something when it occurred or even properly acknowledging someone you saw a lot - you are now sitting there fretting about how to say something.

    I guess you should just do what you would do if this person was a coursemate or someone you knew vaguely. Just say the normal things, 'how's your exams going?' or comment on the state of the library or say 'i can't wait until this revision is over' etc.
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    "Do you like crime books? Because you're so mysterious"

    .. lol.. no but I don't know..

    I guess you should try and sit next to him or nearer to him, and then just say hi ... especially since he's actually seen you a few times and therefore knows who you are.. it wont be so weird to ask about revision..
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    (Original post by eliza.anne)
    Short skirt, no pants, bend over near him. Boom.
    This. :sexface:
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    (Original post by Mark85)
    I don't understand how people grew up and lived there lives to the extent where talking to strangers is so difficult and scary.

    I mean what happened when you were a kid? Did you never go to the park or play out and meet other kids? Do you never go out and end up chatting to people. Do you not chat to people when you are in a queue in the shops or when you are waiting somewhere?

    If you really don't know what you are doing and haven't had the chance to develop normal social skills - you just need to dive in at the deep end and start.

    In this situation, it is probably now awkward because instead of being natural and saying something when it occurred or even properly acknowledging someone you saw a lot - you are now sitting there fretting about how to say something.

    I guess you should just do what you would do if this person was a coursemate or someone you knew vaguely. Just say the normal things, 'how's your exams going?' or comment on the state of the library or say 'i can't wait until this revision is over' etc.
    Its more about just fearing judgement.. fearing the other person may find you weird if you approach them randomly.. its not like you can do the same thing as you did as a kid.. and innocently start talking to god knows who.. because you were an ignorant child back then.. but now in teens or adult hood your supposed to have some form of social judgement .. and i guess sometimes it can make you a bit too cautious.
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    (Original post by ChocoCoatedLemons)
    No, I don't :rolleyes: most women aren't out to hurt you, you little special snowflake.
    How are Newcastle girls? :sexface:
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    (Original post by Bobifier)
    For people who don't often post on TSR, it is occasionally acceptable to talk to strangers.
    I'm at the library often, and not once have I been asked, or seen someone else been asked by a stranger "how's revision going?" It's exam season, ain't nobody got time for that.

    Closest thing was when I was making notes Chronic Inflammation and a girl asked what I studied cause of the diseased pics she could see on my screen. Which is much better than "how's revision going?" A question usually directed at someone of familiarity.
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    (Original post by de_monies)
    What kind of strict library do you have? We have "silent study" spaces, but the majority of the library is where you can talk
    (Original post by zeropoint)
    You shouldn't say anything.

    You should pull him to one of the social areas of the library where talking is allowed, and then say hi.

    Libraries have rules you know.
    Do your libraries have some kind of military-grade technology which insulates areas to sound transmission or do they just not realise that having a designated space for socialising / being silent isn't authority to stop sound travelling out of / into this space?
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    (Original post by hannahchan)
    "Do you like crime books? Because you're so mysterious"

    "Do you like geology? Cause I want to rock your world"
    "Do you like physics? Cause I'm feeling a magnetic attraction"
    "Do you like medical science? Cause I've got non-specific urethritis"


    Some of these perhaps need polishing, mind.
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    (Original post by hannahchan)
    Its more about just fearing judgement.. fearing the other person may find you weird if you approach them randomly.. its not like you can do the same thing as you did as a kid.. and innocently start talking to god knows who.. because you were an ignorant child back then.. but now in teens or adult hood your supposed to have some form of social judgement .. and i guess sometimes it can make you a bit too cautious.
    The being a kid thing was just one example.

    I think the main problem is that people aren't used to being sociable outside of their friendship groups. People just aren't letting on in their local areas or when they are out and about. When you are used to being sociable, it is just a habit and you lose the fear.

    I think for people who make threads like this, it is really the fear of the unknown because they don't actually realise that normal people let on to people they see all of the time or just strike up conversations when they are around other people.

    Social judgement is one thing but that isn't what is going on here. What is happening here is that the OP doesn't realise that the worst thing that could happen would be that this guy doesn't have much to say back or he isn't in the mood to chat or maybe he also lacks the social skills to deal with someone outside his friendship group. If you can't deal with the 'rejection' of trying to chat to someone and they don't have much to say back then you need to toughen up.

    I mean, sometimes you say something to someone and they just nod and don't say much so you just leave them to it - simple as that. I know I do the same if I am not in the mood or am in a rush or something, it really isn't a big deal once you are actually used to interacting with people. I can only imagine people build it up to be more than that because they simply lack the normal experience of being sociable outside of formal environments or with friends they already know.

    I mean, the library is an unusual environment - I will give you that but when I was spending a lot of time there on my own when I was finishing my masters dissertation, I started to recognise the people who were sitting by me and we were asking each other to watch our stuff and I would certainly offer to get them a brew or whatever if I was going for one. It is just a simple case of acknowledging those around you instead of existing in your own bubble.
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    (Original post by Birkenhead)
    Do your libraries have some kind of military-grade technology which insulates areas to sound transmission or do they just not realise that having a designated space for socialising / being silent isn't authority to stop sound travelling out of / into this space?
    Silent study means.. talk and ignore the rules at my school.

    It's ridiculous anyway.. someone is bound to be speaking especially with group activities.. but sometimes it is dead silent in the library, its scary.
    • Welcome Squad
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    Welcome Squad
    (Original post by Emre944)
    How are Newcastle girls? :sexface:
    Speaking for me personally, up front and honest None of these mind games. Screw dat.
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    (Original post by ChocoCoatedLemons)
    Speaking for me personally, up front and honest None of these mind games. Screw dat.
    Great.
    Can't wait until September.
    • Welcome Squad
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    (Original post by Mark85)
    The being a kid thing was just one example.

    I think the main problem is that people aren't used to being sociable outside of their friendship groups. People just aren't letting on in their local areas or when they are out and about. When you are used to being sociable, it is just a habit and you lose the fear.

    I think for people who make threads like this, it is really the fear of the unknown because they don't actually realise that normal people let on to people they see all of the time or just strike up conversations when they are around other people.

    Social judgement is one thing but that isn't what is going on here. What is happening here is that the OP doesn't realise that the worst thing that could happen would be that this guy doesn't have much to say back or he isn't in the mood to chat or maybe he also lacks the social skills to deal with someone outside his friendship group. If you can't deal with the 'rejection' of trying to chat to someone and they don't have much to say back then you need to toughen up.

    I mean, sometimes you say something to someone and they just nod and don't say much so you just leave them to it - simple as that. I know I do the same if I am not in the mood or am in a rush or something, it really isn't a big deal once you are actually used to interacting with people. I can only imagine people build it up to be more than that because they simply lack the normal experience of being sociable outside of formal environments or with friends they already know.

    I mean, the library is an unusual environment - I will give you that but when I was spending a lot of time there on my own when I was finishing my masters dissertation, I started to recognise the people who were sitting by me and we were asking each other to watch our stuff and I would certainly offer to get them a brew or whatever if I was going for one. It is just a simple case of acknowledging those around you instead of existing in your own bubble.
    I totally agree. I chat all the time to people on the bus, in queues... It's perfectly fine to talk to strangers (sorry kids!). How else are you supposed to meet people? Surely all the friends you have ever made were at one point, total strangers?
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    (Original post by ChocoCoatedLemons)
    I totally agree. I chat all the time to people on the bus, in queues... It's perfectly fine to talk to strangers (sorry kids!). How else are you supposed to meet people? Surely all the friends you have ever made were at one point, total strangers?
    I don't even know if it is a cultural thing but to me, it is kind of engrained that the guy who never lets on is the weird and antisocial one - not the genuine guy who walks around with a smile on his face and takes the time to chat with people around him. I mean, in my block of flats, there is this one woman, about my age and when you see her on the stairs - she barely says hi and if you see her out and about, she barely acknowledges you but within out flats - she is seen as the weird one; not the rest of us who just say hi and like to get along with people. I can just imagine if she were a student she would be on here making threads saying 'OMG some randomers who live in my flats just randomly speak to me as if they know me, lol, what is their problem?!'

    Judging from what I read on here and also my experiences from going to uni, there seems to be this thing where people are only friends with those they know from a specific few formal environments where it is acceptable to be friendly i.e. they have their school friends and then they go off to uni and are allowed to be friendly with their flatmates in the student accommodation and then are allowed a one in a lifetime opportunity to make friends with people during freshers week and after that - that is all the people they are allowed to talk to normally unless they join a society where there are designated social events etc.

    ..I am just glad I didn't grow up with the internet.
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    (Original post by cambio wechsel)
    You should say "ooh, you can take me out without incurring late-charges".





    (On no account should you say this)
    Haha! This just reminded me that I should renew my books so thank you !

    OP I am just like you. If I see someone I like all I do is ogle at them. It is such a shame .
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    "hey, sorry im a bit shy and dont really know how to start a conversation with you without sounding horrifically lame is "cant i borrow a pen" too cliche?"
 
 
 
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