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    been together half a year and you spent £100 on valentines day? that seems a bit over the top.

    him not buying you anything for your birthday seems a bit out of order, but not buying popcorn and going somewhere reasonably priced for lunch sounds perfectly fine. presents are one thing, but why should he have to buy you snacks or lunch?
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    If I was form a relationship I would certainly not expect the value of the gifts received to correlate with the amount of dispensable income the partner has. Why are you so obsessed about it? I would only expect an expensive gift or for the partner to regularly buy things for you if the partner is such a type of spender in the first place. So you tell us OP, is he normally a high spender?

    Of course even then it's the thought that counts! e.g. if he didn't even wish you happy birthday and try to please you otherwise, never mind not presenting you with a gift then...

    Also the good thing from your part is that you've made it clear to him that you care about Valentines Day, Birthday etc. by buying him presents, so I do think he should make some effort as well, but maybe he's not much of a special occasion guy
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    (Original post by boba)
    he should be grateful he paid for her food and if she wanted to eat somewhere better offer some money herself. If she doesnt like going to a kebab shop fine but dont complain he didnt pay for something better when neither did she.
    You just completely ignored my argument and restated what you said before.
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    me and this guy have been in a relationship it's been half a year.

    I've realised one thing, he is sooooo tight when it comes to money. One day, we went on a group date, as couples, to the cinema. I was reluctant to go because I thought he wouldn't have money to pay for himself let alone pay for me. And it would be quite embarrassing in front of my friends.
    Usually when we both go cinemas, he pays but never offers to buy snacks such as popcorn (whats movies with out popcorn?! so i would pay). But he is so reluctant to go and participate in activities that involve money.
    Our first date, we spent in central london. The whole day. I was so hungry, so was he. But he didn't want to eat in central london because it was 'expensive' so he slyly made us travel to the cheaper areas and treated me to a kebab shop. That too,we ordered from the student menu. I didn't eat much because the food was awful. I was embarrassed to tel my friends where he had taken me :l But he was honest with me though, he said his mum only gave him a tenner, fair enough.
    Ok so valentines day, he gave me nothing. Not even a rose, or chocolates. In fact, i got stuff from other random secret admirers. But he was going through some family problems as he says. So was I, but at a far worse extent. But i STILL managed to shop around £100 buying him something, eventhough i didnt give it to him on valentines day. He didn't make up for it. I get so jealous seeing my friends and their boyfriends randomly showering them with gifts. It was his birthday a couple of days after valentines day, and i got him something. It was my 18th birthday the other day, he didn't get me anything.
    Thing is, I KNOW he is loaded with money, but he never chooses to spend anything on me. On my birthday I felt like ****! my own boyfriend didnt get me anything, he only wished me happy birthday,:mad:
    How do i tell him not to be stingy? I don't mean to sound like a gold digger, but come on, this just isn't right.:confused:
    ''Desires are the cause of all suffering''
    - Buddha

    Boom. I just enlightened the f**k out of you.
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    I like how she's claiming it's not right. But nothing wrong has happened. She's one of those people who feels they're entitled. It would amuse me if she wasn't pretty though.
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    Am I the only one who would hate it if my boyfriend was to pay for everything? Yes, it's nice to be bought presents and dinner; but I would hate it if I was bought dinner whenever we went out.
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    me and this guy have been in a relationship it's been half a year.

    I've realised one thing, he is sooooo tight when it comes to money. One day, we went on a group date, as couples, to the cinema. I was reluctant to go because I thought he wouldn't have money to pay for himself let alone pay for me. And it would be quite embarrassing in front of my friends.
    Usually when we both go cinemas, he pays but never offers to buy snacks such as popcorn (whats movies with out popcorn?! so i would pay). But he is so reluctant to go and participate in activities that involve money.
    Our first date, we spent in central london. The whole day. I was so hungry, so was he. But he didn't want to eat in central london because it was 'expensive' so he slyly made us travel to the cheaper areas and treated me to a kebab shop. That too,we ordered from the student menu. I didn't eat much because the food was awful. I was embarrassed to tel my friends where he had taken me :l But he was honest with me though, he said his mum only gave him a tenner, fair enough.
    Ok so valentines day, he gave me nothing. Not even a rose, or chocolates. In fact, i got stuff from other random secret admirers. But he was going through some family problems as he says. So was I, but at a far worse extent. But i STILL managed to shop around £100 buying him something, eventhough i didnt give it to him on valentines day. He didn't make up for it. I get so jealous seeing my friends and their boyfriends randomly showering them with gifts. It was his birthday a couple of days after valentines day, and i got him something. It was my 18th birthday the other day, he didn't get me anything.
    Thing is, I KNOW he is loaded with money, but he never chooses to spend anything on me. On my birthday I felt like ****! my own boyfriend didnt get me anything, he only wished me happy birthday,:mad:
    How do i tell him not to be stingy? I don't mean to sound like a gold digger, but come on, this just isn't right.:confused:
    You call him 'tight' but he pays for your cinema tickets? I was honestly expecting you to say something like "I always pay, even though he has the money to, how do I get this to be fairer?". And he bought you food in London? Why don't you each pay for yourself...or take turns? You should be thankful he pays for your ticket, not whinging about him not buying you popcorn.

    I always find it so cringy (not to mention counter-productive to the whole idea of gender equality) when girls expect their boyfriends to pay for everything.

    The Valentine's Day thing - did you tell him you expected a present? Like me and my boyfriend don't do Valentine's day, it's not a big deal not to get someone a present. If you'd told him you were spending money on him, then that's a different matter, but you chose to spend so much, remember that. And if he told you he was going through family problems, then again, don't complain; even if you did have it "to a worse extent", people deal with things differently.

    For your birthday though - that is a legitimate complaint, I think. Even if he couldn't afford anything, he could've still done something special to treat you; it doesn't always have to be about the money. You should speak to him about that, or you could agree not to buy him something for his birthday?

    You should be complaining less about his reluctance to pay for money (unless you end up paying for everything, or you lend him a lot and he never pays you back) but more about the thought and kindness behind his gestures; the lack of anything special for your birthday, for example. Stop focusing on the money so much!
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    me and this guy have been in a relationship it's been half a year.

    I've realised one thing, he is sooooo tight when it comes to money. One day, we went on a group date, as couples, to the cinema. I was reluctant to go because I thought he wouldn't have money to pay for himself let alone pay for me. And it would be quite embarrassing in front of my friends.
    Usually when we both go cinemas, he pays but never offers to buy snacks such as popcorn (whats movies with out popcorn?! so i would pay). But he is so reluctant to go and participate in activities that involve money.
    Our first date, we spent in central london. The whole day. I was so hungry, so was he. But he didn't want to eat in central london because it was 'expensive' so he slyly made us travel to the cheaper areas and treated me to a kebab shop. That too,we ordered from the student menu. I didn't eat much because the food was awful. I was embarrassed to tel my friends where he had taken me :l But he was honest with me though, he said his mum only gave him a tenner, fair enough.
    Ok so valentines day, he gave me nothing. Not even a rose, or chocolates. In fact, i got stuff from other random secret admirers. But he was going through some family problems as he says. So was I, but at a far worse extent. But i STILL managed to shop around £100 buying him something, eventhough i didnt give it to him on valentines day. He didn't make up for it. I get so jealous seeing my friends and their boyfriends randomly showering them with gifts. It was his birthday a couple of days after valentines day, and i got him something. It was my 18th birthday the other day, he didn't get me anything.
    Thing is, I KNOW he is loaded with money, but he never chooses to spend anything on me. On my birthday I felt like ****! my own boyfriend didnt get me anything, he only wished me happy birthday,:mad:
    How do i tell him not to be stingy? I don't mean to sound like a gold digger, but come on, this just isn't right.:confused:

    If you loved him, it wouldn't be an issue. At the age of 18, most people don't have too much cash. If it really bothers you, talk to him. But think about it like this: if you have to force him to spend money on you, are you really going to be happy?
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    (Original post by ANONYM00SE)
    He probably won't buy you a valentines/birthday present because you're ungrateful when he DOES pay for things.
    It's a bonus to have him pay, not a right.


    EDIT: You sound pretty materialistic. Also you shouldn't expect him to pay for anything. He could be the richest man in the world but you're still not entitled to have him pay your way.
    I don't think it's fair to call her materialistic. I think it's horrible of the boyfriend to take her for granted like that. It's not about being a benefactor it's about buying someone you care about a birthday or valentines gift to show that you care. OP you should really talk to him this is not right. Edit: even without any money he should get her something cheap I think. Maybe he's worried it won't be nice enough?
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    (Original post by heart/)
    I don't think it's fair to call her materialistic. I think it's horrible of the boyfriend to take her for granted like that. It's not about being a benefactor it's about buying someone you care about a birthday or valentines gift to show that you care. OP you should really talk to him this is not right. Edit: even without any money he should get her something cheap I think. Maybe he's worried it won't be nice enough?
    He is taking her for granted?! Ok..........
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    I hate women.
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    (Original post by You Failed)
    You just completely ignored my argument and restated what you said before.
    your argument is that there is no reason to be grateful because where he took her and what he bought her was "not appropriate". But since there is no reason for him to be taking her anywhere or buying her anything rather than them just going somewhere together which she could of had a say in and paid for then she has no right to complain. if where he takes her is not good enough then maybe she should take him somewhere instead.
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    (Original post by ANONYM00SE)
    He is taking her for granted?! Ok..........
    Yes giving a birthday gift to your girlfriend is a way to show that you care. It's not about how expensive or nice a gift is but the fact that he's putting in effort. For example I wouldn't be upset if I didn't like what my boyfriend got me but I would be upset if he just couldn't be bothered to put in any effort at all. Like he could have bought her chocolates or taken her on a nice date.
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    (Original post by heart/)
    I don't think it's fair to call her materialistic. I think it's horrible of the boyfriend to take her for granted like that. It's not about being a benefactor it's about buying someone you care about a birthday or valentines gift to show that you care. OP you should really talk to him this is not right. Edit: even without any money he should get her something cheap I think. Maybe he's worried it won't be nice enough?
    And this is possibly the most stupidest thing I've read in a long time.

    You can't prove he's taking her for granted. There's lots of ways to show you care about someone without buying them goods. She just thinks she's entitled to things. When it's clear she's unwilling to pay money for her own food when when she's "hungry", her own "popcorn" which without would ruin her entire experience.

    She even conceded that one time his mother gave him limited funds, despite this he still paid for her food. Which she's still ungrateful for. At one point she states he was having family problems, but they're not important according to her. If she spends a large amount of money on a gift, would it be unfair to say that she could pay for something that she wants if he doesn't have much money?
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    (Original post by heart/)
    Yes giving a birthday gift to your girlfriend is a way to show that you care. It's not about how expensive or nice a gift is but the fact that he's putting in effort. For example I wouldn't be upset if I didn't like what my boyfriend got me but I would be upset if he just couldn't be bothered to put in any effort at all. Like he could have bought her chocolates or taken her on a nice date.
    Hellooooooo he is the one that ALWAYS pays for dates..
    Pretty sure if a guy ends up paying for all the dates and his girlfriend is ungrateful he's going to get pissed off and not bother with her birthday/valentines because quite frankly if she isn't grateful for those dates then she doesn't deserve the birthday/valentines stuff.
    Him paying for dates all of the time = putting in effort... which is not being reciprocated by the girlfriend...

    Relationships are a two way thing.

    You, my friend, are deluuuuuuded
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    (Original post by boba)
    your argument is that there is no reason to be grateful because where he took her and what he bought her was "not appropriate". But since there is no reason for him to be taking her anywhere or buying her anything rather than them just going somewhere together which she could of had a say in and paid for then she has no right to complain. if where he takes her is not good enough then maybe she should take him somewhere instead.
    You're refuting his inappropriate actions by suggesting that she compensate for them. This is crappy logic.

    If I were to do a **** job of something, I shouldn't be excused of doing a **** job, by suggesting that someone else should have done a better job.

    Yes, she could very well take him somewhere better. That has no relation though to where he took her. Irrelevant of whether or not she takes him, he still took her somewhere pretty **** and that's still not appropriate.
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    (Original post by You Failed)
    You're refuting his inappropriate actions by suggesting that she compensate for them. This is crappy logic.

    If I were to do a **** job of something, I shouldn't be excused of doing a **** job, by suggesting that someone else should have done a better job.

    Yes, she could very well take him somewhere better. That has no relation though to where he took her. Irrelevant of whether or not she takes him, he still took her somewhere pretty **** and that's still not appropriate.
    she said he had £10. Where better would you suggest he take her.
    from the sounds of the rest of her post he probably only took her and paid for her because she was blatantly expecting it rather than because he originally intended to, who expects to take someone out when they only have £10, especially when the other person knows how much they have.

    she complains that he pays for her cinema tickets but then doesn't buy her snacks and you are really suggesting thats shes not just being ungrateful?
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    Maybe his mother won't give him money, because his mother doesn't like the OP.
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    Lol sounds like my first girlfriend.
    "YOU NEVER BUY ME GIFTS BUT THAT'S WHAT BOYFRIENDS ARE SUPPOSED TO DO".
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    Maybe your inflated sense of entitlement acts as a repellent to his wallet.
 
 
 
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