Hey there! Sign in to join this conversationNew here? Join for free

Kissed/touched another guy but does my boyfriend have to know? Watch

    • TSR Support Team
    Offline

    19
    ReputationRep:
    Oh okay, but you didn't have sex with him so I guess that makes it all okay... :rolleyes:

    You are lying to yourself. You have cheated on your partner. You have taken the trust in your relationship and thrown it away. Above all you are a disloyal cow and should do your partner a favour by telling him the truth.

    You should have made it clear right from the start that you're not interested. Disloyal *****es like you make me sick.
    Offline

    18
    ReputationRep:
    (Original post by LtNoddy)
    Spot on mate, Seems you may be one of the only people here realising how important relationships are to some people.
    I see you and I are on the same wavelength. But we are somewhat in the minority!

    I am amazed at how many posters are foaming at the mouth and using language almost as reprehensible as the crime confessed.
    Offline

    18
    ReputationRep:
    (Original post by desdemonata)
    Tell him. You've already screwed up by doing it, and again by pretending to yourself it's nothing and debating whether to tell him. Don't add to that **** up by trying to keep it from him. Not only is it likely that it will get back to him, but he deserves to know.

    And don't kid yourself that it's not like you. It clearly is. One guy came onto you and you got with him. Clearly you don't have the best self control. It's still cheating even if you don't sleep with them :dry: and your boyfriend needs to know you are capable of getting with somebody drunk.

    Also you probably just made all the guys on TSR with girlfriends worry...
    Imagine most blokes might have had some insights in to dating pitfalls, even before they saw this post...
    Offline

    16
    ReputationRep:
    (Original post by Zarek)
    Imagine most blokes might have had some insights in to dating pitfalls, even before they saw this post...
    ?

    She said that her boyfriend comes on here regularly. That's what I was referring to.
    Offline

    18
    ReputationRep:
    (Original post by im so academic)
    Really? Could you express what you thought without beating about the bush?

    Be more specific. What circumstances would you forgive (and presumably take her back)?

    Oh. If she were hot enough, right? :rolleyes:
    I guess it might help if I fancied the pants off her..

    More seriously, I can see if the relationship was either casual or, conversely, if I was in love, the demeanour was at the less serious end of the scale, an early confession was made and I saw some mitigating circumstances then I might 'take back'.
    Offline

    18
    ReputationRep:
    (Original post by desdemonata)
    ?

    She said that her boyfriend comes on here regularly. That's what I was referring to.
    Got you, sorry. Yes, particularly if their girlfriend went out last weekend with a couple of friends, lol..
    Offline

    16
    ReputationRep:
    (Original post by Zarek)
    Got you, sorry. Yes, particularly if their girlfriend went out last weekend with a couple of friends, lol..
    Exactly :lol: wonder how quickly this will come to bite the OP in the ass?
    Offline

    15
    ReputationRep:
    An I the only one who can slightly sympathise with the OP?! I mean, we all make mistakes and do things we regret... In sure we have all/ or will lie to someone in our lives...

    I do think you should tell the truth, just because I know that if you fell out with one of your friends, they will most likely just tell him anyway and end up hearing it from someone else. Also, word of mouth, they are most likely going to tell someone who is then gonna tell someone else etc. if you don't tell him, that's up to you.. I can understand how bad you feel, it was a mistake, made you realise what you have got sorta thing, it shouldn't of happened and you don't wanna loose them or hurt them by telling them (even though you know you hurt them anyway) but tbh, karma is a ***** and most likely will come back and bite you in the ass...

    I guess sometimes we should just face up to the consequences except from running away...


    Posted from TSR Mobile
    Offline

    14
    ReputationRep:
    I'm just putting it out there. Drunk is never an excuse. If you do decide to tell him - he won't take the drunk part very well.
    Offline

    2
    ReputationRep:
    OP, im not gonna throw stones at you...

    But you gotta tell your man everything.

    In your post it comes across like you're trying to say what you did isnt so bad, or that what happened is "nothing"... like your wonderful friends seems to suggest...

    You might need to get some better friends also. If my friends royally **** up, i don't sugar coat it and pander to them. I have the guts to look them in the eye and tell them that what they did was wrong, and i advise them on the best course of action.

    Regardless, your bf deserves to know and he deserves to take the next course of action.
    Offline

    0
    ReputationRep:
    Im not gna call you a slut or anything becuase most people have done that and worse. Though I would say you should break up with him but dont say you cheated. If he knows he has been cheated on he might not trust a girl in the future who could be perfect for him
    Offline

    18
    ReputationRep:
    (Original post by Fat-Love)
    I'm just putting it out there. Drunk is never an excuse. If you do decide to tell him - he won't take the drunk part very well.
    But again, there is a reality here that alcohol does often lead to stupid behaviour and sometimes very bad behaviour, in many contexts. Yet it is widely accepted as a pleasant social lubricant, when probably it should be banned!

    Agree with you that it is an insulting inflammatory excuse where earth shattering betrayal has occurred. But I do feel in some contexts it could be weighed in as a mitigating factor.

    Bet OP (if she is for real) wishes she had never sought out advice..
    Offline

    1
    ReputationRep:
    Don't say **** , im not gunna judge you cos we all make mistakes. But do not admit to anything you will do more harm than good

    Posted from TSR Mobile
    Offline

    14
    ReputationRep:
    this is the standard dirty cheater response trying to justify her actions I touched him and kissed him BUT I DIDNT SLEEP WITH HIM SO ITS OK!

    No its not, cheating is never ok. You should tell your boyfriend so he can get rid of you there is not excuse for cheating saying your drunk doesn't justify it. When your drunk you may do stupid things but your basic morals still exist you still kmow you have a boyfriend at home. You wont tell him though because people who cheat are cowards they try to blame everybody else for their actions and never admit its their fault.

    You clearly don't care for your boyfriend or you wouldn't have done it that or your just a very very very selfish person. I think unfortuantly your boyfriend wont find out and your never tell him and he will be completely ignorant, usually though if they get away with it once cheaters do it again and again.

    It really embarrasses me when other woman behave like this because it gives all us woman bad names, if more woman behaved like ladies and not like common whores then maybe cheating wouldn't be so prominent. Karma eventually will happen and when your cheated on hopefully your realise how **** it feels
    Offline

    14
    ReputationRep:
    (Original post by Zarek)
    But again, there is a reality here that alcohol does often lead to stupid behaviour and sometimes very bad behaviour, in many contexts. Yet it is widely accepted as a pleasant social lubricant, when probably it should be banned!

    Agree with you that it is an insulting inflammatory excuse where earth shattering betrayal has occurred. But I do feel in some contexts it could be weighed in as a mitigating factor.

    Bet OP (if she is for real) wishes she had never sought out advice..
    no sorry alcohol is not an excuse yes you may do stupid things but you still know basic intrinsic things. Ive been so so so drunk before but ive still known ive had a boyfriend and told boys to **** off. Its not an excuse at all
    Offline

    16
    ReputationRep:
    These *****es man don't trust em
    • Offline

      13
      (Original post by Final Fantasy)
      Oh okay, but you didn't have sex with him so I guess that makes it all okay... :rolleyes:

      You are lying to yourself. You have cheated on your partner. You have taken the trust in your relationship and thrown it away. Above all you are a disloyal cow and should do your partner a favour by telling him the truth.

      You should have made it clear right from the start that you're not interested. Disloyal *****es like you make me sick.
      This.
      • Offline

        13
        (Original post by Jammie_x)
        An I the only one who can slightly sympathise with the OP?! I mean, we all make mistakes and do things we regret... In sure we have all/ or will lie to someone in our lives...
        How is that a "mistake"? You make a conscious decision to get intimate with the other guy. No ****ing way is that a mistake.
        Offline

        9
        ReputationRep:
        As far as advice goes, you need to tell him for both of your sakes.
        For you: If you don't tell him it'll eat away at you and the relationship will suffer because it'll never leave the back of your mind where as if you tell him, he has the chance to react and you can move on or end accordingly (the ball will be in his park, he may forgive and he may not)
        For him: He will find out some other way or will notice your abnormal behaviour and if you tell him at least there's the chance he will appreciate the honesty and you can discuss it properly rather than face it coming out in a heated argument where decisions are less rational
        As far as you trying to rationalise you actions goes, there is no excuse. Alcohol may alter your behaviour but you still did it. Whilst it may bring you peace to know it's not your normal behaviour it's the action was still the same and that's the part that will upset him. Similarly the fact that it was not full sex is no excuse, heat of the moment kisses are sometimes excused because they were a result of tension and chemistry and jeez knows what else (they are still cheating but more understandable and are often forgiven for the sake of a relationship) but you were flirting, kissing and then continued to cheat after by touching him so you knew what was going on the entire time and did not stop.
        He deserves to know and for the both of you it'd be better if he did because it's the only way the relationship will move forward smoothly with a chance of rebuilding trust.
        Offline

        0
        ReputationRep:
        Put yourself in his shoes - imagine if he did that to you!


        Posted from TSR Mobile
       
       
       
      Reply
      Submit reply
      TSR Support Team

      We have a brilliant team of more than 60 Support Team members looking after discussions on The Student Room, helping to make it a fun, safe and useful place to hang out.

      Updated: August 25, 2013
    • See more of what you like on The Student Room

      You can personalise what you see on TSR. Tell us a little about yourself to get started.

    • Poll
      Did TEF Bronze Award affect your UCAS choices?
    • See more of what you like on The Student Room

      You can personalise what you see on TSR. Tell us a little about yourself to get started.

    • The Student Room, Get Revising and Marked by Teachers are trading names of The Student Room Group Ltd.

      Register Number: 04666380 (England and Wales), VAT No. 806 8067 22 Registered Office: International House, Queens Road, Brighton, BN1 3XE

      Quick reply
      Reputation gems: You get these gems as you gain rep from other members for making good contributions and giving helpful advice.