Hey there! Sign in to join this conversationNew here? Join for free

Anyone else fed up of being harassed to try anal sex? Watch

    Offline

    1
    ReputationRep:
    No offence but he sounds a bit of a knob. Thats something that should be between you, not his friends. I'd of probably dumped him as soon as his friends were saying that.

    Please dont feel pressured to do anything like that when you dont want to, no decent guy would try and make you
    Offline

    2
    ReputationRep:
    (Original post by Treeroy)
    "the fact she doesn't want to do it is a good enough reason" No, it isn't. Wanting or not wanting something does not justify wanting/not wanting that something. Circular logic is circular.
    Yes. Yes it is. This is a sexual act; not wanting to do it is good enough reason not to do it. You should not have to do a sexual act you are not comfortable with because you not wanting to do it is not a "good enough reason"; that's disgusting. If she doesn't want to do anal, she should not be pressured into doing it, nor should she be shamed for not wanting to do it. Otherwise she is being shown a horrible lack of respect for her body. You should not have to justify not wanting to do a particular sexual act to anyone.
    Offline

    15
    ReputationRep:
    (Original post by vaguity)
    Yes. Yes it is. This is a sexual act; not wanting to do it is good enough reason not to do it. You should not have to do a sexual act you are not comfortable with because you not wanting to do it is not a "good enough reason"; that's disgusting. If she doesn't want to do anal, she should not be pressured into doing it, nor should she be shamed for not wanting to do it. Otherwise she is being shown a horrible lack of respect for her body. You should not have to justify not wanting to do a particular sexual act to anyone.
    You don't seem to have grasped what I was saying. Of course she is allowed to do what she likes, or not do what she likes; I was merely saying that simply not wanting to do something is not a good reason to not do it - a much more sensible reason to not do it would be because of something logical.

    In other words, if she does not have a good reason to be hostile towards anal, she's being silly by just saying no. She may have good reasons though. (Albeit I cannot think of any logical reasons against anal sex.)

    (Original post by im so academic)
    As a girl, I wouldn't want a **** up my arse. It's my body, it's the OP's body. Stop being so rude about it.

    She's not being unreasonable. If she doesn't want to do it, she doesn't want to. ****ing hell, learn some respect.
    Yes, she is being unreasonable, if it's a case of "I don't want to do it because I don't want to do it". That's perfectly unreasonable. Obviously she can refuse and he can't rape her - duh - but she is still being illogical.
    Like I've just said to the other person who quoted me, she might have perfectly good reasons to not want to have anal sex, though I doubt she does.

    Also: "as a girl, I wouldn't want a **** up my arse" - what does being a girl have to do with anything - why does that give you an authority on this subject? (And if you feel like it, mind explaining why you "wouldn't want a **** up your arse"?)
    Offline

    0
    ReputationRep:
    Some of these responses are ridiculous. To PP, of course not wanting to is a good enough reason not to have anal sex. She doesn't have to explain herself or have a logical explanation is she doesn't want it, that's the end of it.


    Posted from TSR Mobile
    Offline

    16
    ReputationRep:
    While he shouldn't pressure you, I guess if you think about it and it's his ultimate fantasy, it's going to be hard for him to let go of it, and of course he'll wait for you to change your kind. Plenty of guys/girls wouldn't stay with someone for ages without sex, and maybe having the opportunity to try anal is like that for him?
    I mean, it's true that you haven't tried it and many girls have actually said they liked it once they tried it. But if you're sure you will never ever want to, you'll have to tell him and tell him that if this is a deal breaker for him he should end if rather than keep asking you.
    • TSR Support Team
    Offline

    19
    Anymore fighting or unhelpful posts will get removed.
    Offline

    15
    ReputationRep:
    (Original post by Rock Fan)
    Anymore fighting or unhelpful posts will get removed.
    Now, now, it's just friendly debate :-)
    • TSR Support Team
    Offline

    19
    (Original post by Treeroy)
    Now, now, it's just friendly debate :-)
    H&R is not a place for a debate
    • #3
    #3

    If you don't want to do it, you don't have to do it. If he pressures you and forces you, it's rape.
    Also, for the record, I tried it once with my girlfriend, never again. It's overrated. Seriously.
    Offline

    15
    ReputationRep:
    (Original post by Rock Fan)
    H&R is not a place for a debate
    You're not meant to discuss things on a discussion forum :confused:

    "For questions and discussions relating to all aspects and kinds of relationships"
    • TSR Support Team
    Offline

    19
    (Original post by Treeroy)
    You're not meant to discuss things on a discussion forum :confused:

    "For questions and discussions relating to all aspects and kinds of relationships"
    There's discussion then there is arguing and fighting, if you don't agree with what I posted further up please take it up in AAM.
    • #1
    • Thread Starter
    #1

    (Original post by Treeroy)
    You don't seem to have grasped what I was saying. Of course she is allowed to do what she likes, or not do what she likes; I was merely saying that simply not wanting to do something is not a good reason to not do it - a much more sensible reason to not do it would be because of something logical.

    In other words, if she does not have a good reason to be hostile towards anal, she's being silly by just saying no. She may have good reasons though. (Albeit I cannot think of any logical reasons against anal sex.)


    Yes, she is being unreasonable, if it's a case of "I don't want to do it because I don't want to do it". That's perfectly unreasonable. Obviously she can refuse and he can't rape her - duh - but she is still being illogical.
    Like I've just said to the other person who quoted me, she might have perfectly good reasons to not want to have anal sex, though I doubt she does.

    Also: "as a girl, I wouldn't want a **** up my arse" - what does being a girl have to do with anything - why does that give you an authority on this subject? (And if you feel like it, mind explaining why you "wouldn't want a **** up your arse"?)
    Should I really need to defend myself with a list of "logical" reasons for not wanting to do it? I'm actually more of a romantic/emotional person, and surely it's reason enough not to do it that I have a strong instinct against it and I personally don't find the idea of it a turn-on at all? In fact, for me, I'd find it pretty degrading and know I would just be doing it to give my boyfriend what he wants, only to regret it later. Surely sex isn't a "logical" thing at all but actually mostly instinctive?
    • #1
    • Thread Starter
    #1

    Looks like some of my replies have appeared more than once... Sorry for this, I'm new here.
    Offline

    16
    ReputationRep:
    (Original post by Anonymous)
    Should I really need to defend myself with a list of "logical" reasons for not wanting to do it? I'm actually more of a romantic/emotional person, and surely it's reason enough not to do it that I have a strong instinct against it and I personally don't find the idea of it a turn-on at all? In fact, for me, I'd find it pretty degrading and know I would just be doing it to give my boyfriend what he wants, only to regret it later. Surely sex isn't a "logical" thing at all but actually mostly instinctive?
    While what you're saying makes sense, it's obviously pretty important to him. And people often do things for their partner - that doesn't mean they'll regret it because it was out of love and their partner appreciated it - I mean people don't get any logical pleasure from oral apart from giving their partner pleasure. While you can choose not to so it, you can see why he might keep bringing it up, especially since you haven't told him why you don't want to do it.
    • #4
    #4

    lol I'm the one harassing my boyfriend for it.
    Offline

    14
    ReputationRep:
    (Original post by Treeroy)
    You don't seem to have grasped what I was saying. Of course she is allowed to do what she likes, or not do what she likes; I was merely saying that simply not wanting to do something is not a good reason to not do it - a much more sensible reason to not do it would be because of something logical.

    In other words, if she does not have a good reason to be hostile towards anal, she's being silly by just saying no. She may have good reasons though. (Albeit I cannot think of any logical reasons against anal sex.)


    Yes, she is being unreasonable, if it's a case of "I don't want to do it because I don't want to do it". That's perfectly unreasonable. Obviously she can refuse and he can't rape her - duh - but she is still being illogical.
    Like I've just said to the other person who quoted me, she might have perfectly good reasons to not want to have anal sex, though I doubt she does.

    Also: "as a girl, I wouldn't want a **** up my arse" - what does being a girl have to do with anything - why does that give you an authority on this subject? (And if you feel like it, mind explaining why you "wouldn't want a **** up your arse"?)
    Can you grasp the notion that emotions and preferences are not intrinsically logical? They're the complete base of things; you can't justify why you like the taste of lemon ice-cream and hate the look of poop-stained underwear.

    If you really hated the look of spiders and someone really liked the idea of shoving some dead ones up your nose you wouldn't need to justify why you don't want them there - it should just be enough that you don't like the idea of it.
    Offline

    1
    ReputationRep:
    (Original post by Anonymous)
    lol I'm the one harassing my boyfriend for it.
    Eurghh!! That's so disgusting!

    Posted from TSR Mobile
    Offline

    1
    ReputationRep:
    Don't knock it 'till you try it!
    • #1
    • Thread Starter
    #1

    (Original post by joker12345)
    While what you're saying makes sense, it's obviously pretty important to him. And people often do things for their partner - that doesn't mean they'll regret it because it was out of love and their partner appreciated it - I mean people don't get any logical pleasure from oral apart from giving their partner pleasure. While you can choose not to so it, you can see why he might keep bringing it up, especially since you haven't told him why you don't want to do it.
    I have given him many reasons/excuses why I don't want to do it but for me the primary reason is that it just doesn't turn me on and the thought of it actually repels me. Why would anyone do something sexual when all their instincts are telling them not to? While I agree that it's nice to make sacrifices for the person you love there are certain things I would just never pressure my boyfriend to do for me, especially things I knew he wasn't comfortable with. While I see the point you're trying to make with oral for me the main difference is I genuinely find it sexy and romantic, especially as foreplay (as well as the fact that it doesn't involve the possible pain/embarrassment of anal.)
    Offline

    2
    ReputationRep:
    (Original post by Treeroy)
    You don't seem to have grasped what I was saying. Of course she is allowed to do what she likes, or not do what she likes; I was merely saying that simply not wanting to do something is not a good reason to not do it - a much more sensible reason to not do it would be because of something logical.

    In other words, if she does not have a good reason to be hostile towards anal, she's being silly by just saying no. She may have good reasons though. (Albeit I cannot think of any logical reasons against anal sex.)

    Let's apply that logic to more scenarios involving sex..."hey girl, want to have sex?" "No, I don't want to. I'm not interested." "Well, simply not wanting to is not a good reason for not doing it, you need a logical reason not to have sex with me. You're just being silly." Yeah...no. Saying that gives people a way to justify pressuring people to do sexual acts they are uncomfortable with. It's very ****ed up. You shouldn't have to need a logical reason not to do something you're not comfortable with sexually; if you perceive there to be no gain for you (sure, some girls like anal, but for many it's painful and there's not much physical pleasure, and if she doesn't get off on the dominance then why put yourself through it?) She's not being silly by saying no. I don't want a tattoo. I have no 'logical' reason for not wanting one, I just don't want it. Am I being silly for not getting a tattoo?
    I can think of plenty; lack of trust in partner to take it slow/be careful etc, previous bad experiences (e.g sexual assault), pain/lack of pleasure, the feeling of it being unhygienic (which it will be unless she gets an enema, but from what I've heard, that's hardly a comfortable experience either), if her boyfriend perceives it as a 'dominance' issue, she might not want him to 'dominate' her in that way.
 
 
 
Reply
Submit reply
TSR Support Team

We have a brilliant team of more than 60 Support Team members looking after discussions on The Student Room, helping to make it a fun, safe and useful place to hang out.

Updated: August 21, 2013
  • See more of what you like on The Student Room

    You can personalise what you see on TSR. Tell us a little about yourself to get started.

  • Will you be richer or poorer than your parents?
  • See more of what you like on The Student Room

    You can personalise what you see on TSR. Tell us a little about yourself to get started.

  • The Student Room, Get Revising and Marked by Teachers are trading names of The Student Room Group Ltd.

    Register Number: 04666380 (England and Wales), VAT No. 806 8067 22 Registered Office: International House, Queens Road, Brighton, BN1 3XE

    Quick reply
    Reputation gems: You get these gems as you gain rep from other members for making good contributions and giving helpful advice.