Advice for when the honeymoon period is over Watch

Emememily733
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#41
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#41
Uhmm.. sex, lots of sex helps.
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Anonymous #4
#42
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#42
I think you just have to be as honest and real from the very start as you can.
I've been dating my boyfriend for about a month/5 weeks, and I wouldn't describe what we have as a honeymoon period, especially not when I compare it to previous relationships. In my first relationship, we were together 6 months and didn't have a single argument during that time because I was so intent on having him think I was the perfect girl. It wasn't a healthy relationship and it ended because I soon realised we weren't right for each other.

With my current boyfriend it's a lot different. I was honest with him from the start. I'm not a simple person - I have anxiety/paranoia issues, I have a tendency to depressive moods, I have big mood swings... and he's been honest with me. We've already had two major argarguments in the short time we've been dating. But we've resolved it each time because we both really want to make it work.

And I feel our relationship is a lot stronger than one based on false pretences and a constant need to impress. We both know we're far from perfect, we're honest and open about our flaws. And that's part of what makes me really want to be with him.
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Anonymous #4
#43
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*sorry for any spelling mistakes on the above post, was done on my phone
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Autistic Merit
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#44
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Don't have any advice to give unfortunately but it's worth saying that this is one of the best and most informative threads I've seen in the Relationships forum by a long way. I'll keep an eye on it for when and if I'm privileged enough to be in a long-term relationship.
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Plumstone
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#45
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(Original post by mary3434)
Congrats

I was just inquiring as to whether your non honeymoon period theory worked and it seems it does, some insightful words I have to say


Posted from TSR Mobile
Well, I'm not saying that mine is the only way to having a successful relationship - I'm sure there are plenty of people who experience a honeymoon phase and a post-honeymoon phase who eventually settle into happy lives together.

I was just so aware of how other people's sometimes (often) relationships fail once the honeymoon period ends, because they weren't being themselves at the start and I didn't want to fall into that trap myself.

As I said, we're still really happy now and I wouldn't change a thing about our relationship, past present or future!
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Another
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#46
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(Original post by Plumstone)
Do people really spend the first year of the relationship just trying to impress each other and having sex?

I talked to my boyfriend about everything imaginable (politics, interests, goals, values, etc) openly and honestly from the very beginning. What's the point in getting to know someone only to find out that they've been giving a false impression all that time?

I don't feel I've had any honeymoon phase or post-honeymoon phase. I'm no less giddily in love than I was at the beginning (more so, if possible!) and I still make an effort with my appearance and in general, not to impress, but because I love my boyfriend and want him to have me at my best.

Do other people really experience such a sudden shift towards petty arguments or reduced affection?
Can I just say, I think you've had the best relationship I've ever heard of. How does it feel to be so lucky?
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chocolatesauce
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#47
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How long would you say till the honey moon period is over?
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Plumstone
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#48
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(Original post by Another)
Can I just say, I think you've had the best relationship I've ever heard of. How does it feel to be so lucky?
Aw, thanks!!

It's not completely idyllic - we've had to be long distance when I've been at university and not getting to see each other for weeks at a time can be very frustrating.

On the other hand, I am still incredibly happy (we both are!) and he's currently looking for a house to buy so that we can move in together when I graduate next summer and I can't wait to be able to see him whenever I like.

Without wanting to sound smug or like I'm boasting, I only know one couple (my boyfriend's adorable parents who are just celebrating their 41st wedding anniversary) who have as good a relationship as I do. I am incredibly lucky and sometimes I wonder what I've done to deserve to have someone so wonderful in my life
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chocolatesauce
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#49
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(Original post by Plumstone)
Aw, thanks!!

It's not completely idyllic - we've had to be long distance when I've been at university and not getting to see each other for weeks at a time can be very frustrating.

On the other hand, I am still incredibly happy (we both are!) and he's currently looking for a house to buy so that we can move in together when I graduate next summer and I can't wait to be able to see him whenever I like.

Without wanting to sound smug or like I'm boasting, I only know one couple (my boyfriend's adorable parents who are just celebrating their 41st wedding anniversary) who have as good a relationship as I do. I am incredibly lucky and sometimes I wonder what I've done to deserve to have someone so wonderful in my life
Omg that last paragraph :cry2:
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Holby_fanatic
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#50
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(Original post by Anonymous)
I think you just have to be as honest and real from the very start as you can.
I've been dating my boyfriend for about a month/5 weeks, and I wouldn't describe what we have as a honeymoon period, especially not when I compare it to previous relationships. In my first relationship, we were together 6 months and didn't have a single argument during that time because I was so intent on having him think I was the perfect girl. It wasn't a healthy relationship and it ended because I soon realised we weren't right for each other.

With my current boyfriend it's a lot different. I was honest with him from the start. I'm not a simple person - I have anxiety/paranoia issues, I have a tendency to depressive moods, I have big mood swings... and he's been honest with me. We've already had two major argarguments in the short time we've been dating. But we've resolved it each time because we both really want to make it work.

And I feel our relationship is a lot stronger than one based on false pretences and a constant need to impress. We both know we're far from perfect, we're honest and open about our flaws. And that's part of what makes me really want to be with him.
Without meaning this to sound the wrong way, to have had two 'major' arguments in the space of a month is quite bad in my opinion...
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Plumstone
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#51
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(Original post by chocolatesauce)
Omg that last paragraph :cry2:
I hope those are happy tears - I don't want to upset anybody! I just think that with all the negativity we often see on TSR, it's good to have somebody reminding us all that happy, loving, long-lasting relationships do exist and are really possible!
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chocolatesauce
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(Original post by Plumstone)
I hope those are happy tears - I don't want to upset anybody! I just think that with all the negativity we often see on TSR, it's good to have somebody reminding us all that happy, loving, long-lasting relationships do exist and are really possible!
Yes they were! it was refreshing
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stargirl63
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#53
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I'm glad I found this thread. Me and my bf have been together for a year (next week) and and there's signs to show that the honeymoon period is over. I feel neglected sometimes that I am not number 1 on his priority list, like how I used to be. So this is helping!
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Atena369
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#54
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In my relationship I've found that the most important thing is to understand and tolerate your partner. Of course you may not be able to sometimes but you really have to keep your mind open and understand certain stuff are important to him/her. For instance, my bf is the truly work/studyaholic type so whenever he can't go out I have to put up with his "I'm not gonna get into uni if I don't study my ass off 24/7" crap. After all, I'm sure all our partners put up with our own crap as well.
Also, ego is the worst thing you could have in a (loving) relationship. If you go thinking your problems outweigh his/hers, you can expect to get dumped.
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Anonymous #5
#55
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#55
I know this is dredging but does anyone want to give me their viewpoint on this? We've been going out ten months today and for a while now i've just lost all sexual attraction to my girlfriend. 90% of the time i'd rather just go and masturbate than actually have sex with her, and the thought makes me kinda cringe. She's put on around 5 stone since we started going out but to be honest i wasn't all that into her to begin with, it was just the excitement that caught me up.

Is it worth me staying with her much longer? We have some major stuff booked for the summer i'd rather wait and do first cause it'd be a waste not to but am i going to break up with her then regret it? Should I tell her how i feel first and see if it can be fixed? Maybe suggest a break for a while?
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Oilfreak1
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#56
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had petty arguments from day 1:godancing:
4 years on and we still have ridiculous arguments but i'll still hold her close when walking, laugh and genuinely enjoy each others company the honeymoon period never really ended because we've literally been arguing since day 1 lol.

(Both virgins btw if that means anything wrt maintaining a relationship).
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whorace
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#57
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#57
(Original post by bigwhalegambler)
just get her pregnant to fill the void, and in 18 years time, suffer a mid life crisis, go to Africa and adopt another

#stopKony
#kony2013
Sir, wherever you are (probably Africa) you are needed here.
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samina_ay
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#58
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#58
You dump them.
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