Help, Muslim Asian family and don't know what to do! Watch

Aristotle's' Disciple
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#41
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#41
Which university do you want to go to? And which university do THEY propose you apply for? Just leave, why do you need your family? You don't, if they'd disown you because you moved away for your studies, guess what, they never really loved you in the first place.
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anwarpwnsall
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#42
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#42
(Original post by Luxray)
Okay here is my advice on how to mediate the situation. They want you to opt for a very good degree which has a respected job linked to it. Well firstly tell them that Law as a career is highly competitive and you would need to go to London to stand a chance at networking and it would have to be a top 10 uni. This may not entirely be the case but you need to make them hesitate to do Law.

Secondly convince them that a career in finance is lucrative and respected and that a Geography degree can definitely lead to that provided you go to a good university. Thirdly mention that restricting your education choices is sinful in Islam - it really is. You don't have to actually go into finance, its just a lie you can say to convince them that Geography at a uni of your choice is good.
Perhaps consider the Civil Service Fast Stream? That's highly competitive though as well.

The gay aspect...well not sure how you can deal with that, PM me if you want to talk about that , I'm a very liberal and open minded Muslim.
I was thinking that geography is quite open so could maybe lead to different careers, but they just think that all I can become is a teacher -_-
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anwarpwnsall
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#43
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#43
(Original post by techno-thriller)
Do you consider yourself Muslim?
I consider myself culturally Muslim if you get what I mean? I relate when I here/see something Islamic, but I don't believe :/
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newusername96
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#44
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#44
Lol ghanduuuuu
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anwarpwnsall
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#45
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#45
(Original post by Aristotle's' Disciple)
Which university do you want to go to? And which university do THEY propose you apply for? Just leave, why do you need your family? You don't, if they'd disown you because you moved away for your studies, guess what, they never really loved you in the first place.
Why do I need my family? For love and support, I love them and it'll break their hearts if I left
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Al-Mudaari
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#46
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Actually, none of them are worthy of flipping out over except for the last one. That's quite serious.
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anwarpwnsall
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#47
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#47
(Original post by Al-Mudaari)
Actually, none of them are worthy of flipping out over except for the last one. That's quite serious.
What'd you mean?
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Luxray
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#48
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#48
(Original post by anwarpwnsall)
I was thinking that geography is quite open so could maybe lead to different careers, but they just think that all I can become is a teacher -_-
although this guy committed suicide, he did read geography at Oxford and then went on to a work in the city. You need to sit down with your parents and explain the avenues geography can lead to - but do make sure its a good uni lol

http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/arti...k-message.html
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anwarpwnsall
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#49
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#49
(Original post by Luxray)
although this guy committed suicide, he did read geography at Oxford and then went on to a work in the city. You need to sit down with your parents and explain the avenues geography can lead to - but do make sure its a good uni lol

http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/arti...k-message.html
I know, I've read about him, apparently a big TSR user as well, quite sad

But yeah, I'm applying for geography at King's, fingers crossed, but my parents have no faith in me at all, they say I'm not "sharp or bright enough" for London :/
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Luxray
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(Original post by anwarpwnsall)
I know, I've read about him, apparently a big TSR user as well, quite sad

But yeah, I'm applying for geography at King's, fingers crossed, but my parents have no faith in me at all, they say I'm not "sharp or bright enough" for London :/
Kings is a great uni, good luck man. I honestly think a proper sit down with your parents is what you need to do. And maybe see if you can get any older cousins or aunts/uncles to back you up on your point which is that geog from a good uni leads to good things!

Also how are you holding up on the gay issue? does anyone in your family or extended family know? friends?
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anwarpwnsall
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#51
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#51
(Original post by Luxray)
Kings is a great uni, good luck man. I honestly think a proper sit down with your parents is what you need to do. And maybe see if you can get any older cousins or aunts/uncles to back you up on your point which is that geog from a good uni leads to good things!

Also how are you holding up on the gay issue? does anyone in your family or extended family know? friends?
Fingers crossed, that's all I can say! Thanks And all of my family is religious, may not practice all the time, but most would never let their children go to another Uni either :/ And the gay issue, well that's super tough. I talk to my friends about it sometimes, but I'm still very awkward about it, I'm still trying to discover myself and then my parents on top of that, I'm super confused
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Al-Mudaari
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#52
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(Original post by anwarpwnsall)
What'd you mean?

- Wanting to study Geography, that's fine.
- Not wanting to be forced to marry, that's fine.
- Not wanting to marry at all (since you say you're gay), again, that's fine.
- Being gay itself, again not an issue, but you should abstain from sodomy.


All of the above, your parents can be convinced towards through Islam. A good scholar can sit with them and show them the issue with how they're acting towards you. However;

- Not believing in Islam

That's a major problem. Like, any Muslim parent would be most heart broken with the above, since Islam is the very foundation, the very persona of a Muslim. I mean, atleast with the list above, you don't go to Jahanam (hellfire), but being a murtad (disbeliever) you would - which if you can look at it from a Muslim parents point of view, you can just imagine how upset they would be. Most likely blame themselves for not giving you an upbringing in which you could appreciate Islam.

(Original post by BasharAssad)
hello al-mudaari; just here to let you know that I sent 21 of your comrades to hell today; your sincerely Bashar Al Assad (Sunni)
You mean 21 Shuhada, Alhamdulillah.
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anwarpwnsall
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#53
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#53
(Original post by Al-Mudaari)

- Wanting to study Geography, that's fine.
- Not wanting to be forced to marry, that's fine.
- Not wanting to marry at all (since you say you're gay), again, that's fine.
- Being gay itself, again not an issue, but you should abstain from sodomy.


All of the above, your parents can be convinced towards through Islam. A good scholar can sit with them and show them the issue with how they're acting towards you. However;

- Not believing in Islam

That's a major problem. Like, any Muslim parent would be most heart broken with the above, since Islam is the very foundation for a Muslim. I mean, atleast with the list above, you don't go to Jahanam (hellfire), but being a murtad (disbeliever) you would - which if you can look at it from a Muslim parents point of view, you can just imagine how upset they would be. Most likely blame themselves for not giving you an upbringing in which you could appreciate Islam.



You mean 21 Shuhada, Alhamdulillah.
I see what you mean about they can be convinced by a scholar but I don't think they would be persuaded, they are very 'stuck in their ways' so to speak.
In regards to not being a muslim anymore. I can see it will be upsetting for my parents but I need to be truthful to myself too, I just don't know what to do
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Al-Mudaari
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#54
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#54
(Original post by anwarpwnsall)
I see what you mean about they can be convinced by a scholar but I don't think they would be persuaded, they are very 'stuck in their ways' so to speak.
In regards to not being a muslim anymore. I can see it will be upsetting for my parents but I need to be truthful to myself too, I just don't know what to do
That's fair enough, but do you believe you've tried? I mean, spoken to people (not just anyone, but people who have knowledge) about the doubts you have in regards to Islam? I think if you feel you haven't, you owe it to yourself to try and make the effort.

Same with your parents, which to me, seems like they consider Islam to be a very important part of their lives, they may even do the basics such as pray, fast, give charity etc. however, their knowledge and understanding of the deen (religion) is definitely non-existent (given they want to do arranged marriages and force you to study something you don't want to). Basically, if Islam is something that's important to them, then it's always worth having someone that they would respect (ie. a Scholar) to talk to them and try to convince them.
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newusername96
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#55
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(Original post by Al-Mudaari)

- Wanting to study Geography, that's fine.
- Not wanting to be forced to marry, that's fine.
- Not wanting to marry at all (since you say you're gay), again, that's fine.
- Being gay itself, again not an issue, but you should abstain from sodomy.


All of the above, your parents can be convinced towards through Islam. A good scholar can sit with them and show them the issue with how they're acting towards you. However;

- Not believing in Islam

That's a major problem. Like, any Muslim parent would be most heart broken with the above, since Islam is the very foundation, the very persona of a Muslim. I mean, atleast with the list above, you don't go to Jahanam (hellfire), but being a murtad (disbeliever) you would - which if you can look at it from a Muslim parents point of view, you can just imagine how upset they would be. Most likely blame themselves for not giving you an upbringing in which you could appreciate Islam.



You mean 21 Shuhada, Alhamdulillah.
before they were blown up they were having a competition: 'who can shout takbeer the loudest' Bashar Won when he sent them to hell
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JC.
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#56
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#56
(Original post by anwarpwnsall)
I see what you mean about they can be convinced by a scholar but I don't think they would be persuaded, they are very 'stuck in their ways' so to speak.
In regards to not being a muslim anymore. I can see it will be upsetting for my parents but I need to be truthful to myself too, I just don't know what to do
Congratulations mate.
Well done for realising it's all a load of made up jibberish.

Welcome back to reality!

Fingers crossed your folks will work it out for themselves soon too.
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anwarpwnsall
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#57
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#57
(Original post by JC.)
Congratulations mate.
Well done for realising it's all a load of made up jibberish.

Welcome back to reality!

Fingers crossed your folks will work it out for themselves soon too.
I still feel for it in a way, hard letting go after being brought up in it. So when someone say offends Islam a lot, I do kinda get annoyed by it and I respect Islam too.

But really don't believe any of it, I just can't, really not for me :/
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studentEMG
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#58
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#58
(Original post by anwarpwnsall)
That's a good idea, I wouldn't worry too much if I could do that but my parents don't want me to do geography/politics, they want me to do something else And I'll have to apply before January 15th, so what could I do? :/ They want to me to show them once I've applied and make sure I'm not applying to something they won't like
apply as late as poss, as soon as its sent what can they do? you only have to stick out a few months of hate and then you'll be gone. People like your parents tend to have no reasoning unfortunately, but you should not ruin your education over such people. Go for it, if worst comes to worst you have to live in a hostel for a little while, life can be hard sometimes but it'll make you stronger. Best of luck!
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studentEMG
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#59
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#59
(Original post by anwarpwnsall)
I was thinking that geography is quite open so could maybe lead to different careers, but they just think that all I can become is a teacher -_-
GEOGRAPHY IS GOING TO BE THEY KEY TO MANAGING THE FUTURE - ALL OUR MAJOR PROBLEMS ARE GEOGRAPHY RELATED! FOOD DEFECIT THROUGH DESERTIFICATION AND SUCH LIKE! maybe if you show them how passionate though you're personal statement?
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anwarpwnsall
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#60
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#60
(Original post by studentEMG)
apply as late as poss, as soon as its sent what can they do? you only have to stick out a few months of hate and then you'll be gone. People like your parents tend to have no reasoning unfortunately, but you should not ruin your education over such people. Go for it, if worst comes to worst you have to live in a hostel for a little while, life can be hard sometimes but it'll make you stronger. Best of luck!
One of my friends was suggesting that, I don't want anything to distract me from college work, it's tough (as it is for everyone) but I really need to work hard and everything is confusing, but thanks
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