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    Nein.
    • PS Helper
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    Career every time. If s/he really was my dream partner, they would understand. I'm highly focused on my career and have stated that I will never get married (and certainly not have children), so this is really a given question for me :p:
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    sacrifice? no

    adapt and compromise? yes
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    I haven't had a relationship as I'm fussy and don't want to settle for less here
    Hi Miss Anonymous,

    I am the same in this respect!
    And I support your general approach to life.
    It will pay off in the end

    PMT
    • #1
    #1

    (Original post by placenta medicae talpae)
    Hi Miss Anonymous,

    I am the same in this respect!
    And I support your general approach to life.
    It will pay off in the end

    PMT
    Hi :P Don't think I have PMS, do you?

    I don't support my approach, it is inconvenient to wait so long but such is life. It would've been easier if I had enough ok resources but just have to make do with what I've got. It'd be a lot easier if living in a town with ok people and widening social circles from it or going to a decent school. Uni guys were below average, a few international students were hot but they're only in the UK to study and mostly not single as they're models or sports champions
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    Hi :P Don't think I have PMS, do you?

    I don't support my approach, it is inconvenient to wait so long but such is life. It would've been easier if I had enough ok resources but just have to make do with what I've got. It'd be a lot easier if living in a town with ok people and widening social circles from it or going to a decent school. Uni guys were below average, a few international students were hot but they're only in the UK to study and mostly not single as they're models or sports champions
    Oh, I seeee.
    The thing is that the things you mention are beyond your control.
    Do you really wish that you had chosen a different general approach to life to the one which you currently have and have been following in life until now, given the circumstances which you are in, and have been in until now?

    PMS = premenstrual syndrome?
    I'm a guy btw :rofl:
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    • #1
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    (Original post by placenta medicae talpae)
    Oh, I seeee.
    The thing is that the things you mention are beyond your control.
    Do you really wish that you had chosen a different general approach to life to the one which you currently have and have been following in life until now, given the circumstances which you are in, and have been in until now?

    PMS = premenstrual syndrome?
    I'm a guy btw :rofl:
    PMT= PMS

    Do you? Yep, I wish was a socially inept nerd like my sister and not vain! Instead I'm just about average intelligence. I get too curious and bored and excited at the same time and talk to anything whilst she's more focused and controlling, selfish and puts herself first whilst I'd always want to help others including mostly her and I also like to small talk to learn from people. Dunno why but it was more important in school that I was liked and not lonely. Her bf is her 1st bf though, which hmm I'm unsure if I'd be the same
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    Sacrifice relationship every time. . .A career doesn't leave you (you leave it)
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    It depends on the situation. If my boyfriend said no just because he couldn't be bothered (even though he knew it was a dream job) then that looks like he doesn't care but if it isn't practical, he can't get a job there, already have a good house, other commitments etc then I wouldn't take it.
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    I chose my partner over a potential career...limiting myself to location makes my job search very difficult and chances are in a few years we will up and move anyway (militarywife) so I guess it's similar in that I dont apply for amazing jobs if I know Id have to move away from our home.

    Posted from TSR Mobile
    • #2
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    I'm going to go against the grain and say yes. The career I'm planning to go into can be done pretty much anywhere and I never really had a dream place I've always wanted to live whilst it took me several years and plenty of grief (including an attempted rape by one "gentleman" I went on a date with) before I met my boyfriend who I love and care about very much. Maybe if I was planning to go into a more competitive field and/or I had a better experience with men before I met him my answer might be different.
    • Very Important Poster
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    No, I wouldn't. If they're not willing to move with me, then I guess fate doesn't want me to be with them.
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    No, no and hell to the no.
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    I always thank my missus for sacrificing her lifetime and career goals so I could have my career. I always wondered if the tables were turned whether I'd have been as generous as her.

    -20+ years ago I was an undergraduate at Oxford, she was in her 2nd year of studies in Sweden, she was pregnant. I would never have skipped Oxford to be with her in Sweden. I did tell her after I'm done with Oxford we could move to Sweden. She came over to Oxford and did some crap caring jobs which she didn't enjoy but it was enough to settle the bills.
    -After my studies, instead of going to Sweden as originally agreed, I took up a 2nd degree and again I made the same promise that I'd move to Sweden after am done.
    -After that 2nd degree, heh she obviously hadn't figured out promises are made to be broken and instead of moving to Sweden we moved to London because I had a job offer. I promised her after I've gained a few years of London experience and saved up enough money we will move to Sweden and buy a nice house and a cabin.
    -3 years later, we did buy a cabin in Sweden, we bought a house as well but we didn't move to Sweden Instead we moved to Singapore. I told her it will only be for 2-3 years and told her I hated hot weather so I won't like being there for long.
    That 2-3 years ended up being 10 years and we only were in Sweden 4-6 weeks per year for holidays. Each time she asked why aren't we moving yet I told her I'm about to get a big raise and a bonus so just hang on for a bit, then I'd tell her the conditions to get the bonus was another 2 years in contract.

    Now she is already 40 and essentially sacrificed everything for a relationship, she finds herself too old to pursue her career of choice and it's always my fault she doesn't have a career, the fact that I tried to get her to pursue her studies in London and Singapore several times isn't a mitigating excuse.

    If I could turn back time, I probably wouldn't have given up Oxford and probably wouldn't have given up a career for a relationship, what I would change is I wouldn't have asked her to give up her career aspirations for me.
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    I wouldn't ask my partner to sacrifice that either. I'd pick someone going the same way as me.
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    Considering I don't really have a dream job, and I think I'm smart enough to be financially successful in any country as soon as I finish my degree then no, I don't think I'll take choose the job.

    Edit: but that's only assuming it's reciprocating and I'm not the only one making sacrifices.
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    I've discussed this with my bf a lot, seeing as I'm on my year abroad now.
    We've sort of agreed that up to 6 months, go for it, wherever it is, and we do things long-distance if there is no way the partner can go too.

    But longer-term than 6 months it depends on job prospects of the other party. No way am I moving to a country where I can't work/can only get a dead-end job. If my BF got his dream job, I would accept a pretty big career blow to go with him, and I'd expect him to do the same for me. But it would not be fair for either of us to expect the other to give up entirely on a career.
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    (Original post by Alfissti)
    I always thank my missus for sacrificing her lifetime and career goals so I could have my career. I always wondered if the tables were turned whether I'd have been as generous as her.

    -20+ years ago I was an undergraduate at Oxford, she was in her 2nd year of studies in Sweden, she was pregnant. I would never have skipped Oxford to be with her in Sweden. I did tell her after I'm done with Oxford we could move to Sweden. She came over to Oxford and did some crap caring jobs which she didn't enjoy but it was enough to settle the bills.
    -After my studies, instead of going to Sweden as originally agreed, I took up a 2nd degree and again I made the same promise that I'd move to Sweden after am done.
    -After that 2nd degree, heh she obviously hadn't figured out promises are made to be broken and instead of moving to Sweden we moved to London because I had a job offer. I promised her after I've gained a few years of London experience and saved up enough money we will move to Sweden and buy a nice house and a cabin.
    -3 years later, we did buy a cabin in Sweden, we bought a house as well but we didn't move to Sweden Instead we moved to Singapore. I told her it will only be for 2-3 years and told her I hated hot weather so I won't like being there for long.
    That 2-3 years ended up being 10 years and we only were in Sweden 4-6 weeks per year for holidays. Each time she asked why aren't we moving yet I told her I'm about to get a big raise and a bonus so just hang on for a bit, then I'd tell her the conditions to get the bonus was another 2 years in contract.

    Now she is already 40 and essentially sacrificed everything for a relationship, she finds herself too old to pursue her career of choice and it's always my fault she doesn't have a career, the fact that I tried to get her to pursue her studies in London and Singapore several times isn't a mitigating excuse.

    If I could turn back time, I probably wouldn't have given up Oxford and probably wouldn't have given up a career for a relationship, what I would change is I wouldn't have asked her to give up her career aspirations for me.
    That's really touching.
 
 
 
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