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    (Original post by nic-nac)
    im just horny in general. I would love it if my boyfriend could visit more. I only think about wanting to have sex with him. I've never fantasised about anyone else. But when I'm horny and it seems as if other guys are interested in me then it can become slightly tempting.
    Look I don't want to patronise you about your relationship, but if this lad is the one for you in my opinion it shouldn't be tempting, you just shouldn't want to. I've slept with plenty of girls but I can honestly say at this point the only girl I want to sleep with is my girlfriend, whether that be when I'm horny, drunk, sleepy, lonely etc.

    I also think for a long distance relationship to work it has to be stronger than a normal one, if you two lived in the same town you wouldn't be having these doubts, but you don't and if you've just started uni then you're going to be fighting against these urges for a long time, I think you should decide now if you see a long term future and if not do the best thing for both of you and end it on good terms.
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    (Original post by Conzy210)
    If you're tempted, and considering sleeping with someone else the relationship is over. Simple as that.

    I'm currently in a long distance relationship, and of course I fancy a **** while she's gone, but not with anyone else, just her, hence why I'm trying to make it work despite the distance.
    He said that if someone was flirting with him then it would also be tempting. But he never picks up on flirting anyway and even if he did, his confidence is so low that he wouldn't act on it. I trust him and he trusts me.
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    (Original post by Spongebob'sPants)
    Which is why one of my theories i stated is that he is doing 'damage limitation'. He probably feels/fears you're going to cheat/sleep with someone else, and so in his mind, if he says its ok, it will either hut him less as he expected it (and controlled it - again in his mind), or that he is making it less attractive to you by giving his "permission".

    Are you actually asking how to make it less tempting to sleep with someone else?
    But he had also said that he trusts me. Either make it less tempting or clearly friend zoning a guy (without it being awkward) so they won't flirt with me.
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    (Original post by littlesmurfette)
    Do you actually realise what you are saying makes no concieveable sense? Why would someone with rock bottom confidence want their girlfriend to sleep with someone else? Hardly going to do them any favours is it?
    By the sounds of it he's submissive and lacks the confidence to believe that he is worthy of his girlfriend. He has therefore put her needs before his and disregarded any of his own feelings, or perversely he may get off on the fact that she is going to pleasured by a bigger, better man in his opinion.

    The ultimate mix of weakness and sweetness. He essentially wishes to be a cuckold while his girl is taken by a "bull".

    ...

    OP, has he elaborated on who he wants you to sleep with or was it vague?
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    (Original post by nic-nac)
    But he had also said that he trusts me. Either make it less tempting or clearly friend zoning a guy (without it being awkward) so they won't flirt with me.
    Stay away from said guy.
    Do not flirt with said guy.
    Make it obvious to said guy you won't be sleeping with him.
    Talk about your bf to said guy plenty of times.

    Any or a combination of these might help.

    I'd be more concerned why as soon as a guy shows you interest, you're tempted. Is your relationship with your bf strong?
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    (Original post by nic-nac)
    He said that if someone was flirting with him then it would also be tempting. But he never picks up on flirting anyway and even if he did, his confidence is so low that he wouldn't act on it. I trust him and he trusts me.
    So you'd both be tempted to cheat on one another? In my opinion that's pretty much cheating, or not far from it, This won't last long term. Finish it and **** random lads at uni as that seems to be what you want.
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    (Original post by Rakas21)
    By the sounds of it he's submissive and lacks the confidence to believe that he is worthy of his girlfriend. He has therefore put her needs before his and disregarded any of his own feelings, or perversely he may get off on the fact that she is going to pleasured by a bigger, better man in his opinion.

    The ultimate mix of weakness and sweetness. He essentially wishes to be a cuckold while his girl is taken by a "bull".

    ...

    OP, has he elaborated on who he wants you to sleep with or was it vague?
    I hope you're right. He said he wouldn't mind if it was nice guy who respects me.

    (Original post by Conzy210)
    So you'd both be tempted to cheat on one another? In my opinion that's pretty much cheating, or not far from it, This won't last long term. Finish it and **** random lads at uni as that seems to be what you want.
    he hasn't had anyone flirt with him so it doesn't apply to him. Neither of us consider that cheating, especially if we are in an open relationship. And that's not even what's being discussed, it's how to deal with my hormones which isn't being helped by the medication I'm on. It's being in an honest relationship with each other. I don't want to sleep with other people and even if I was single, I have no desire to be a slut, it's not the kind of person I am.
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    I've been reading everything, and I still don't get the point....if you don't want to sleep with anyone else then you're not tempted by anyone else. Where's the problem? You've decided you don't want to act on your 'temptations' so.....:dontknow:

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    (Original post by nic-nac)
    I hope you're right. He said he wouldn't mind if it was nice guy who respects me.

    he hasn't had anyone flirt with him so it doesn't apply to him. Neither of us consider that cheating, especially if we are in an open relationship. And that's not even what's being discussed, it's how to deal with my hormones which isn't being helped by the medication I'm on. It's being in an honest relationship with each other. I don't want to sleep with other people and even if I was single, I have no desire to be a slut, it's not the kind of person I am.
    As weird as it sounds you should find out whether he gets a thrill from this or whether he's just solely putting your needs before his.

    Try find out whether he wants you to be ****ed by a big, strong, dominant man or whether somebody like him.

    If it's the former he might be getting off from it in his mind (probably won't admit it).
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    (Original post by nic-nac)
    He said that if someone was flirting with him then it would also be tempting. But he never picks up on flirting anyway and even if he did, his confidence is so low that he wouldn't act on it. I trust him and he trusts me.
    ****ing hell maybe he's so insecure because you keep saying he's socially retarded

    you better check yourself before you shrek yourself
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    Part of being in a LDR is not seeing each other a lot, it is difficult. I mean, if you want to be in a relationship, then be faithful, if you can't do the long distance thing, then break up with him. Don't have both just because he has such a low self esteem that he says he doesn't mind, which I can almost guarantee he will, but won't admit it.
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    (Original post by nopenopenope)
    ****ing hell maybe he's so insecure because you keep saying he's socially retarded

    you better check yourself before you shrek yourself
    He's not socially retarded. He has plenty of friends, he's just got no confidence with girls.
    (Original post by Rakas21)
    As weird as it sounds you should find out whether he gets a thrill from this or whether he's just solely putting your needs before his.

    Try find out whether he wants you to be ****ed by a big, strong, dominant man or whether somebody like him.

    If it's the former he might be getting off from it in his mind (probably won't admit it).
    :lolwut: I doubt it's that. Anyway those kinds of guys you mention are usually the douchey man-sluts that he said he wouldn't want me to sleep with.

    (Original post by Spongebob'sPants)
    Stay away from said guy.
    Do not flirt with said guy.
    Make it obvious to said guy you won't be sleeping with him.
    Talk about your bf to said guy plenty of times.

    Any or a combination of these might help.

    I'd be more concerned why as soon as a guy shows you interest, you're tempted. Is your relationship with your bf strong?
    My classes are sausage-fests though, I can't avoid guys, including the ones who have flirted with me. Everyone's now in their friendship groups and I've ended up with two guys plus a 3rd who neither of us three like, but he tries to hang around with us. But this 3rd guy does want to sleep with me, although I easily said no to him as he's weird, creepy and not very good looking, even if I was single I could probably say no to him. I'm not used to male attention, when I was at school it would be the guys who would bully me for being fat and ugly. So suddenly getting attention from guys + being rather horny, does make it somewhat tempting. But I would rather have my boyfriend though.
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    (Original post by WGR)
    Why is it tempting? Does he not satisfy you? Sounds like you're better off splitting up if you are tempted.
    Agreed, to be honest. I can't imagine ever being tempted to sleep with anyone other than my partner, because I'm head over heels in love with him.
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    thats a good q.
    hes let you
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    (Original post by nic-nac)
    He's not socially retarded. He has plenty of friends, he's just got no confidence with girls.
    :lolwut: I doubt it's that. Anyway those kinds of guys you mention are usually the douchey man-sluts that he said he wouldn't want me to sleep with.

    My classes are sausage-fests though, I can't avoid guys, including the ones who have flirted with me. Everyone's now in their friendship groups and I've ended up with two guys plus a 3rd who neither of us three like, but he tries to hang around with us. But this 3rd guy does want to sleep with me, although I easily said no to him as he's weird, creepy and not very good looking, even if I was single I could probably say no to him. I'm not used to male attention, when I was at school it would be the guys who would bully me for being fat and ugly. So suddenly getting attention from guys + being rather horny, does make it somewhat tempting. But I would rather have my boyfriend though.
    "Too many guys like me and follow me around, some are weird and creepy and ugly"
    You sound like a *****.
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    (Original post by nic-nac)
    I find your post patronising and full of ignorance. Did you even read my opening post!?! I don't want to cheat on him. That's the point of this thread. I wanted advice on how to cope, not lectures calling me a slut, telling me to end it or masturbate. But I love him and trust him and want to be with him. That's the point of this thread. I'm after advice on how to feel less tempted. I don't want to sleep with other guys, but I can get rather horny.
    No no no. I went back to your original post, and you have drastically changed it, probably because you've become hurt by people's responses. The truth is, I did read your original post (i.e. the first one, not the current edited one where you've completely cut and changed the entire second half) and you did not ask for any such advice. You were saying you were tempted to cheat on him. That was simply it. You were not asking how to deter unwanted "horny-ness" for other guys, you were asking for advice on whether it was okay to go ahead and sleep with other guys. Now people have slated your "relationship" you have gone back and changed the post.

    I fully stand by my original advice in regards to your original post. If you don't like advice, don't ask for it. As for this suddenly new advice seeking on how to feel less tempted, just thinking of your boyfriend and how much you love and care for him should deter you. Masturbation, phone sex, making an effort to see each other more often. Anything. The blunt truth of the matter is, if none of that works, a girl has needs and having a long-distance relationship clearly isn't satisfying you.
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    Might just be me here... But that's just ****ing weird...
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    (Original post by WGR)
    "Too many guys like me and follow me around, some are weird and creepy and ugly"
    You sound like a *****.
    I did not say that. I've only had one guy actually offer sex and a couple I think were getting rather flirty. Only the one guy is weird and creepy, you come across as a ***** for misquoting me.

    (Original post by lou_100)
    .
    I haven't got a quote of my full original post. I may have changed it, but that's because people were missing the point of it. But my title and main question have remained the same. I just felt the need to explain the situation, but people were commenting on my relationship with my boyfriend (possibly not realising the point of my thread) and calling me a slut and telling me to break up with him, and not answering my actual question.
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    (Original post by Musie Suzie)
    Agreed, to be honest. I can't imagine ever being tempted to sleep with anyone other than my partner, because I'm head over heels in love with him.
    I love my boyfriend. If I had the option to sleep with my boyfriend I would, and I wouldn't even think about other guys. But because my boyfriend said I could and a couple of guys have been flirty, it has become tempting. If he told me that he would dump me and hate me for doing it, then the idea of doing anything more than hug another guy wouldn't even cross my mind.
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    He said you could sleep around and you think that's normal? Hm...
 
 
 
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