Housemates boyfriend never leaves Watch

Tyrion_Lannister
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#41
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#41
(Original post by Ribbits)
(Not just directed at you, but everyone against people staying):
I don't see the big deal - apart from the bills which everyone agrees is completely unfair and they should be made to either pay a fair share or leave.

If you remove the problem of bills though, should people have an issue with others staying over longer term? This is my fifth winter at my shared house and I have seen many people stay here for months at a time without paying rent. Each room is inidivually rented and our rent is all bills inclusive - so it makes no difference to bills whether someone has a 'guest' secretly living with them.
As long as they are respectful of shared areas/appliances I don't mind. The point is my housemate, for whatever reason, wants this person living with them for however long and can't/doesn't want to waste the money on moving somewhere else.
So what's it to me if I let them? It doesn't cause me any harm, but is helpful to them (most people keep to their own rooms most of the time anyway). Even if we're not close, I live with them so I have a kind of regard for them.

Paying for their electricity though, is another matter.
This is my point but you've worded it much more eloquently than me
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Tyrion_Lannister
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#42
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(Original post by GottaLovePhysics! :))
No!...I cant imagine why? :rolleyes:
I have little patience for typically student stuff. That is why.
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techno-thriller
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#43
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#43
tell em firmly
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Kvothe the Arcane
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#44
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I personally wouldn't mind besides being a little uncomfortable for extreme PDA in any common areas if I were single...
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Anonymous #2
#45
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#45
You're just going to have to talk to your housemate about it and make it clear. In my last shared house, there was four of us and one of them had a boyfriend (who we were friends with before they dated) who ended up homeless. The remaining three made it absolutely clear to the fourth one that there was NO WAY he was living with us, as we were unwilling to pay extra in the bills for him, and it would be a breach of our tenancy agreement (we also were 99% sure that he'd stolen some things, but when we'd mentioned that to our housemate before she got all defensive...until they broke up when she was just like "And now I'm thinking he did steal my camera" :rolleyes: no ****). We weren't throwing him on the street, we came up with useful suggestions and legal advice, and he rejected them all and bummed off someone else.

When you sign a tenancy agreement, not only are you saying "I am choosing to live with these people", most likely your tenancy agreement also states that you will ONLY live with these people, and no one else. Occasional visits are accepted. Now what happens if/when your landlord finds you breached your agreement? He can evict you. So your housemate is not only getting you to pay more than you should for bills, but he's also running the risk of you guys losing your home.
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username447608
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#46
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I'd have a huge issue with it. Maybe its just me I have no problem with partners staying over my boyfriend comes and stays for one night a week my housemates stays over Friday to Monday every other week. I would have an issue somebody staying in my house Monday to Friday yes it may be shared housing but if you are paying rent its as much your house as it is theres. I think its disrespectful and it doesn't take a genius to realise having a partner there 5 days a week is not fair. Its about the privacy of your own home you don't know the partner, you want to be able to relax and chill at home not have some random guy hanging about.

I don't think its on personally i just find it disrespectful
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Arturo Bandini
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#47
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#47
(Original post by Ribbits)
(Not just directed at you, but everyone against people staying):
I don't see the big deal - apart from the bills which everyone agrees is completely unfair and they should be made to either pay a fair share or leave.

If you remove the problem of bills though, should people have an issue with others staying over longer term? This is my fifth winter at my shared house and I have seen many people stay here for months at a time without paying rent. Each room is inidivually rented and our rent is all bills inclusive - so it makes no difference to bills whether someone has a 'guest' secretly living with them.
As long as they are respectful of shared areas/appliances I don't mind. The point is my housemate, for whatever reason, wants this person living with them for however long and can't/doesn't want to waste the money on moving somewhere else.
So what's it to me if I let them? It doesn't cause me any harm, but is helpful to them (most people keep to their own rooms most of the time anyway). Even if we're not close, I live with them so I have a kind of regard for them.

Paying for their electricity though, is another matter.
Yeah I'm with you on this. I think it's to do with people on TSR being pretty highly strung (and they struggle socially).
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Architecture-er
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#48
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#48
(Original post by Tyrion_Lannister)
So what? Why does it matter? I hate people who ruin things for others.
Then by that logic you should first hate the housemate and his(?) boyfriend, since they're the ones initially ruining things for the OP by forcing a situation on them.


@OP why don't you just tell them to bugger off to the boyfriend's house and stay there all the time?
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Architecture-er
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#49
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(Original post by Arturo Bandini)
Yeah I'm with you on this. I think it's to do with people on TSR being pretty highly strung (and they struggle socially).
Tell me about it, I just don't feel comfortable outside unless I have some cat intestines packed around my genitalia
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Alpha brah
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#50
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You guys all seem to be missing something: I infer from the OP that the housemate causing trouble is a he, not a she? Not that it makes much difference, but yall are referring to them as a she just because they have a boyfriend :fyi:

In answer to your question OP, sounds like the rest of you need to all have a firm word with him (the housemate) when the boyfriend's not around and say that if he continues to use the facilities like that he will have to contribute to his share of the rent. Else, he'll have to stay round less (does he not have his own ****ing place?). Especially seeing as he's been aggressive, it's completely out of order to expect him to be able to stay round whenever to the extent he's practically a housemate.

The housemate is taking the absolute PISS TBH, when you're a student money is ridiculously tight and there's no way he and his boyfriend should be able to pay only one person's worth of the bills. I can completely see why you and the others are annoyed. Not to mention it's awkward when someone is doing PDA with their partner all the time which I'm sure they probably do if he's around that much.
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Pastaferian
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#51
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(Original post by Anonymous)
I moved into a new house in september with two of my previous housemates. Basically one of them has a boyfriend who last year started staying over at the house but then during the easter holidays he spent the entire week and then didn't really live. He never contributed to bills so the 4 of us were basically paying for 5 people to live in the house as he showered/cooked/washed his clothes at our house much to our annoyance.

We mentioned this issue before we moved into this new house and were told he wouldn't be staying as much as he did last year and that they would split their time between each others houses. Within the first month of us living here it started happening again, so my housemate apologised and said he had contributed money towards the gas and electric meter (this money none of us ever saw and wasn't ever actually put on the meter)

We are at the point now where his boyfriend is staying in the house monday to friday and goes on the weekends because my housemate goes back to his hometown to work. So he is essentially living here the same amount of time as my housemate who pays bills and rent.

He has started treating this like its his house, which fair enough he want him to feel comfortable at his boyfriends house etc but its getting beyond ridiculous. He has twice now when intoxicated been aggressive towards a female housemate and another female friend, which has caused us to not feel comfortable having him in our home ALL THE TIME.

We are at the point now where we are going through so much gas/electric now having 6 people living in a 5 bedroom house we can't go on much longer. We've tried to mention it to them without much notice being taken. Not really sure what else we can do. Is it worth trying to get our housemate on his own (which is near impossible as they are glued to each other) to tell him how we are sick of his boyfriend essentially living here and not contributing to anything, or should we go straight to our landlord about the fact he is illegally living in our home which is in breech of our tenancy agreement?
Your housemate and boyfriend already know you are irritated by the setup, and have acknowledged your concerns, but haven't done much to change their ways. Remind them again. If they still don't do anything, then take it to the landlord.
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Alpha brah
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#52
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(Original post by Pastaferian)
Your housemate and boyfriend already know you are irritated by the setup, and have acknowledged your concerns, but haven't done much to change their ways. Remind them again. If they still don't do anything, then take it to the landlord.
Yeah, rereading OP they've mentioned the issue before so the housemate had plenty of prior warning. They need to put their foot down.
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tania<3
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#53
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I'm in a relationship and even I would find it annoying if my boyfriend was constantly staying over without contributing anything :s especially as a student, I mean I don't mind spending money on him but if it was bills and things I'd like a little bit of help.
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ChemistryChic
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#54
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If I were you, I'd get the rest of your house together and then offer your housemate an ultimatum - either:
- He pays twice as much for electric/water to cover both him and his boyfriend
- His boyfriend stops staying over so much
or
- You'll be going to the landlord, reporting it and getting yourselves a new housemate. The landlord is going to want to know who is living in his property, and if he finds someone else unexpectedly living there, he's probably going to be pissed off. Especially as they haven't signed a tenancy agreement.
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Beckyweck
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#55
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(Original post by ChemistryChic)
If I were you, I'd get the rest of your house together and then offer your housemate an ultimatum - either:
- He pays twice as much rent to cover both him and his boyfriend
- His boyfriend stops staying over so much
or
- You'll be going to the landlord, reporting it and getting yourselves a new housemate. The landlord is going to want to know who is living in his property, and if he finds someone else unexpectedly living there, he's probably going to be pissed off. Especially as they haven't signed a tenancy agreement.
I think the rent is iffy ground. They're sharing space between them, it's not like he has his own room that other people are paying for. IMO rent should be at the discretion of the person sharing. Bills are totally legit though.


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ChemistryChic
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#56
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(Original post by Beckyweck)
I think the rent is iffy ground. They're sharing space between them, it's not like he has his own room that other people are paying for. IMO rent should be at the discretion of the person sharing. Bills are totally legit though.


Posted from TSR Mobile
Edited to clarify. I did mean just the bills, not rent.
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glitterpink
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#57
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(Original post by Tyrion_Lannister)
Don't be a **** and **** up someone's relationship just because you're not in one. This kind of stuff happens in shared houses, if you don't like it live on your own. Sorry but that's how it is
No offence but I've just seen on your thread that you said you come from a wealthy family, so clearly you have no idea what it's like to be a poor student on a tight budget!

Paying bills cost so much money! So I'd be so annoyed if someone in my old shared house had their boyfriend practically living there and not contributing
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chikane
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(Original post by glitterpink)
No offence but I've just seen on your thread that you said you come from a wealthy family, so clearly you have no idea what it's like to be a poor student on a tight budget!

Paying bills cost so much money! So I'd be so annoyed if someone in my old shared house had their boyfriend practically living there and not contributing
She just likes being centre of attention..this thread is all about her now not about op's problems.
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Anonymous #3
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#59
Hey OP, completely understand how you feel! I live with my family and over the summer that's just gone, my brothers gf came down to stay for a couple of days, which eventually turned into a month. She put her shampoo in my bathroom, subscribed to Netflix registered to my house and her clothes somehow ended up in my wardrobe. I thought this was f*cking ridiculous, selfish and annoying - I was very stressed at work at the time and coming home to her randomly hanging about my house was so irritating. I barely knew the girl but I did like her - after she overstayed her welcome so majorly, I don't so much any more. I would never dream of staying so long in somebody else's space and I found it very inconsiderate & rude.

Basically, this is something that you can only understand if you've experienced it.
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canadamoose
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#60
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If it's that big of an issue, broach the subject with both your flatmate and his boyfriend. If he's going to be staying there, he should be at least contributing to the bills and cleaning - if he's a normal person, he will agree to contribute without any further problems. If he refuses, then you've got to decide whether it's worth calling your landlord and ending whatever friendship you've got with your flatmate. Furthermore, if living in the house with the boyfriend is uncomfortable for the female tenants, then I would suggest you bring that up as well. Needs to be dealt with sooner rather than later.
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