Would you be OK if your partner did this? Watch

Sayonara
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#41
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#41
(Original post by Red one)
There's contributing and then there's doing the whole housework, child-rearing and meal preparing all on my own. Expecting all 3 every day of the week is ridiculous if not practical. You're doing a paid job that's why you work 7-7, a housewife on the other hand doesn't get paid to do the housework she does it because she wants her house to be clean and for her kids to be fed not because the breadwinner expects it.

You're married to a real Human being with real feelings you cannot expect them to behave like a robot and do everything on their own while you're out of the house and they're stuck at home. Like I said in my previous post I expect to have time for my friends and family as well going shopping if I feel like it. There's no obligation for me to do the housework, I certainly wouldn't be involved with someone who expects me to do everything around the house.
I am sorry, but I have to disagree with you.

In most cases, I believe the partner who isn't working should do all the house chores (or 95%+ of it). It isn't much compared to a full-time job and who do you think will be paying for your shopping and all of the other living expenses (e.g. shelter, food & water)?

I don't mean to be rude, but if there's no obligation for you to do the housework, then is there no obligation for your partner to provide you with money and shelter?

It depends on how much the partner works. It should be split up evenly. So if the partner makes £30/hour and works 3 hours a day, then maybe that partner who works 3 hours a day should do some of the housework. In another case, if the partner works from 7am to 7pm everyday, then I believe pretty much all of the housework should be done by the other partner.

Just my opinion. Although, if one of the partners is pregnant or ill, that is another story.

I agree with the fact that humans aren't robots, but remember, your partner isn't a robot either, having to go home after several hours of work only to look forward to more housework isn't that nice.
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Tai Ga
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#42
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#42
(Original post by Red one)
If you truly believe that your worth as a woman is measured by how clean the house is and how well you can cook then you might want to get some self-esteem or a self-help book. Expecting it is taking things a step too far imo, it's nice if the dinner is prepared and the house is cleaned but expecting dinner and a clean house every day is laughable. I'm sorry but I'm worth more than that.
when did worth as a woman come into this? The OP didn't even specify gender :rolleyes:

It's about equal division of responsibilities. Why should I go out and bust my ass to make a living, while my partner does **** all around the house? You just seem like a parasite tbh. You want to do all these fun things like brunch with the girls, manicures, shopping, getting your hair done etc...Who's funding them? It's not you because you're not working :lol:

Preparing a simple meal and just maintaining house cleanliness (which isn't that difficult to do unless you're a right slob) isn't that much to ask for. No one is asking you to sport maid attire and clean till your back is bent.
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Red one
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#43
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#43
(Original post by Sayonara)
I am sorry, but I have to disagree with you.

In most cases, I believe the partner who isn't working should do all the house chores (or 95%+ of it). It isn't much compared to a full-time job and who do you think will be paying for your shopping and all of the other living expenses (e.g. shelter, food & water)?
Should or could? I believe the latter is a better way of phrasing it without hurting the feelings of the house-partner in the relationship. I don't mind doing it, however people in this thread are acting like if I don't then I should be out on my ass as though doing the housework + child rearing is my rent for the week. :Lol: Some people in this thread are in for a rude awakening when they get married. Also you mentioned shelter, food and water but are you serious? What am I hamster? Better buy me a hamster wheel and some straw to roll around in. :rolleyes:
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kka25
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#44
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#44
(Original post by xDave-)
I'd just get a dishwasher, it'd be cheaper than her.

.
omg, this is hilarious :laugh:
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BeanofJelly
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#45
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#45
I wouldn't want to feel I was "hiring" my partner as a house-servant. I'd rather they work because I think work is aspirational and makes for a more "equal" relationship. It's not really about money - I'd be happy for my partner to earn (a lot) less, I just wouldn't want their "job" to be catering for me like a servant. I think that's a bit creepy.

If it's a temporary unemployment situation, or if someone is home looking after young kids that that is different. But on the topic of childcare I do think both parents should raise their kids together. Not just one while the other is at work. (Some couples will be forced to make a purely financial decision though).
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BeanofJelly
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#46
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#46
(Original post by Red one)
Should or could? I believe the latter is a better way of phrasing it without hurting the feelings of the house-partner in the relationship. I don't mind doing it, however people in this thread are acting like if I don't then I should be out on my ass as though doing the housework + child rearing is my rent for the week. :Lol: Some people in this thread are in for a rude awakening when they get married. Also you mentioned shelter, food and water but are you serious? What am I hamster? Better buy me a hamster wheel and some straw to roll around in. :rolleyes:
Red one I agree that an employer-employee type relationship being postulated is a bit creepy.

However, a host-parasite relationship is hardly the better solution, regardless of gender.

Not wanting to do all of the hard work keeping things afloat while your partner enjoys a made in chelsea lifestyle isn't unfair or disrespectful.
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I love shopping
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#47
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#47
I find ambitious men attractive. I would like my partner to have some sort of career. It doesn't have to well-paid or anything, but it would be nice to know he's interested in something and working towards it.

But, if he chose not to work, I would still hate to have him do all my chores for me! I like being independent and would want to share our responsibilities at home equally.
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NothingToSeeHere
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#48
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#48
My dad was exactly like that when I was growing up. Needless to say, my parents are not together anymore and I wouldn't have been able to stand it either.

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Vikki1805
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#49
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#49
What even is random sex?

Surprise sex? As in "Surprise, it's up your bum."

I just, I don't even...
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donutaud15
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#50
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#50
(Original post by kka25)
Assume you have a 9-5 job. You have a partner at home. Your partner:
-makes healthy breakfast for you or breakfast of your choice
-makes the bed
-washes the plates and cleans the table
-irons your clothes
-makes lunch and dinner
-cleans the house
-allows you to have random sex (assuming they are not busy with the dishes)

BUT

Your partner doesn't work. They will need to use your money to buy groceries and pay the bills.

Would this be OK with you?
This is my situation (I don't work yet) and I wouldn't have any issues if the situation is reversed (well sex bit doesn't sound fair tbh)

(Original post by Red one)
Do some housework but not ALL of the housework. I'll be going out with friends attending luncheons and perhaps doing a spot of eBaying. There are also stuff like manicures, going to the hairdressers and shopping. Or do you expect me to be in pajamas with bedraggled hair looking shabby?

(Original post by Red one)
Should or could? I believe the latter is a better way of phrasing it without hurting the feelings of the house-partner in the relationship. I don't mind doing it, however people in this thread are acting like if I don't then I should be out on my ass as though doing the housework + child rearing is my rent for the week. :Lol: Some people in this thread are in for a rude awakening when they get married. Also you mentioned shelter, food and water but are you serious? What am I hamster? Better buy me a hamster wheel and some straw to roll around in. :rolleyes:
All I can say with the posts above is LOL. I think someone will have a surprise once they're married. :facepalm:

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ilem
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#51
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#51
(Original post by kka25)
Well, that's not really the case is it? They are after all taking care of the household activities which can be a chore itself.
That's hardly comparable to, you know, having an actual job with actual responsibilities.


(Original post by Red one)
If your income won't support it then I'd be inclined to agree with you, however we see rich men marrying pretty young women all the time and they seem to make it work.
They marry these pretty young women because sex. I couldn't be with a gold digger like that out of principle, rather hire an escort if it came to that.
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517340
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#52
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#52
So a traditional household [[almost]]? It'd be nice I suppose? But I'd rather them have their own job too. We'd keep the house clean together and all the chores etc.

Although I'm not fussed about the random sex. It's not that big of a deal for me.
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Profesh
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#53
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#53
(Original post by kka25)
Assume you have a 9-5 job. You have a partner at home. Your partner:
-makes healthy breakfast for you or breakfast of your choice
-makes the bed
-washes the plates and cleans the table
-irons your clothes
-makes lunch and dinner
-cleans the house
-allows you to have random sex (assuming they are not busy with the dishes)

BUT

Your partner doesn't work. They will need to use your money to buy groceries and pay the bills.

Would this be OK with you?
No: the idea of someone being this reliant upon me for financial support is terrifying, and would probably erode my respect for them over time.
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Georgie_M
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#54
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(Original post by BeanofJelly)
I wouldn't want to feel I was "hiring" my partner as a house-servant. I'd rather they work because I think work is aspirational and makes for a more "equal" relationship. It's not really about money - I'd be happy for my partner to earn (a lot) less, I just wouldn't want their "job" to be catering for me like a servant. I think that's a bit creepy.

If it's a temporary unemployment situation, or if someone is home looking after young kids that that is different. But on the topic of childcare I do think both parents should raise their kids together. Not just one while the other is at work. (Some couples will be forced to make a purely financial decision though).
Totally this.

I am completely shocked by some of the opinions on this thread; 'I pay for everything so you will do my everything I say'. That is such a bizarre way to approach a relationship.
A relationship is a partnership and both roles if decided equally between the parties should be respected. Not domineering and controlling because you are economically superior.

Being a stay at home parent is incredibly difficult and the contribution should be respected as such. Children have better outcomes with a parent at home so that is significant.

I started uni when my son was 2weeks old so decided to take the first summer off and it was the most dull, monotonous and depressing time of my life. I love my son to death but having nothing outside of the home, doing something 24/7 7 days a week (apart from when you are asleep which is dictated by the child's sleeping patterns) and having to think of fun interesting activities every 20minutes as well as preparing nutritious meals (and everyone you know is at work = no adult convo). But most of all being completely looked down on by society and told that you are privileged that your partner works so hard. It's hard to contemplate until you actually do it but the psychological effects are more than the physical effort.

Working is 100x easier and you are respected for what you are doing and your contribution. For me going back to uni and work was a break, and I applaud those who can stay at home.

If your partner is an amazing stay at home parent and enjoys the monotony without complaint then I feel as though you should be happy not moaning that you have to go to work a few hours a day and pay the bills.

Sorry for the rant, I just get annoyed with these immature, naive views on what it means to be a parent and in a relationship!
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Rascacielos
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#55
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#55
I would hate to have someone dependent upon me, and even worse, to be dependent upon someone else. I couldn't live in that kind of relationship because I value my independence too much, and I'd see either situation as an affront to that.
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PricklyPorcupine
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#56
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#56
(Original post by Red one)
If your income won't support it then I'd be inclined to agree with you, however we see rich men marrying pretty young women all the time and they seem to make it work.
That's because the women are preying off their money and sweet talking them into letting them surgery, yachts, luncheons whenever they want. The only reason it works is because of lust and the ability to have a trophy wife on the man's side and greed for expensive clothes and holidays etc. on the woman's side.
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chukster97
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#57
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#57
Random sex XD
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The pencil one
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#58
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#58
If she was my wifey fair enough I'll be patient if she's job hunting

But gf? Lol she can gtfo
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bertstare
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#59
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#59
Would have no problems with it at all, in many ways it'd be better
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517340
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#60
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#60
(Original post by chukster97)
Random sex XD
It's like the plot of any pornographic movie
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