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Help me interpret this conversation, please (big summary on pager 5). Watch

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    Seems like she thought you were a regular normal guy, a possible friend, then you made a play and got shot down. Then even after getting shot down you kept pushing and pushing.

    She was fairly clear about it all, but you came across as a bit of a creep, IMO. Might be due to the whole didn't grow up with friends thing and so social norms aren't that easy for you. But if Sheldon Cooper can learn I'm sure you will in time.
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    (Original post by Sazzle4)
    Reading the conversation, I actually think she was fairly clear about what she did and didn't want. She wanted you to back off and leave her alone and she said so, more than once, in fairly clear terms. Perhaps there was room to be a little more brutal but I think she was trying to avoid being rude or hurtfu whilst still getting her message across. As you seem to have realised, you came on too strong (even in friendship terms) and it became uncomfortable for her. You told her that you respected her wishes and understood but you didn't then follow through on this by actually doing as she asked and moving on.
    I know it might sound a little brutal but the other thing that strikes me is that you keep saying you wish she'd explained herself but given the short period of time you knew her and the fact it was you giving her too much information, too willlingly, then when you take a step back you'll probably see that she didn't/doesn't really owe you any explanation. She doesn't want to be friends. Like it or not, that's the end of the story.

    The lesson to be learned here is about how quickly to open up to new people and how much information is socially appropriate to share right away. Also, you kept telling her how good of a judge of character you are and how well you read people but didn't actually read the cues in her language and behaviour which were clearly of the 'please, back off' variety. So in future, take things steady and try not to be so full on with someone new even if you do feel a connection. Give a friendship (or potential relationship) the time to develop at a pace that is comfortable for both of you.

    Life is a learning curve so take the lessons from this experience and use them to improve your future relationships! You seem genuinely keen to make self-improvements and we all make mistakes so don't be too hard on yourself over this. Onwards and upwards!
    There was no cues in language until after the unfriending, unless you count "why are you telling me this so quickly" part, but then she said it was fine. When I wrote that apology message I was going to go away, but then she replied. I was going to go away when she blocked me the first time, but then she unblocked and messaged me first. The only time I didn't back off was when I e-mailed her six weeks later. Why would she unblock me, while asking me about my depression, and then want me to back off without real explanation? She was giving me mixed signals. Even before the unfriending she said "I will speak to you later " in friendly terms, only to unfriend the very next day. So, of course, I was confused.

    I do agree with the giving up of information quickly - but I was using it to see if she's the type to have a deep friendship with. But, after this, I won't use that technique again.

    Thank you for reading the entire conversation!
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    Seems like she thought you were a regular normal guy, a possible friend, then you made a play and got shot down. Then even after getting shot down you kept pushing and pushing.

    She was fairly clear about it all, but you came across as a bit of a creep, IMO. Might be due to the whole didn't grow up with friends thing and so social norms aren't that easy for you. But if Sheldon Cooper can learn I'm sure you will in time.
    Would really appreciate it if you showed me examples. Also, I mainly disregarded social norms with her because I met her during a really bad period.
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    She has a boyfriend, I would just stay away sorry :/
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    This is a completely ridiculous young woman playing with you. You wasted far too much time and energy on a really useless and hurtful lost cause. Best keep far away from all her antics. She is a pro heart breaker.
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    (Original post by Old_Simon)
    This is a completely ridiculous young woman playing with you. You wasted far too much time and energy on a really useless and hurtful lost cause. Best keep far away from all her antics. She is a pro heart breaker.
    Yeah, I have spent too much time thinking about this - probably because it really did destroy whatever self-esteem I had left. Did you read the entire conversation?
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    Since I was about 15, I only befriended people that I thought to be very intelligent and, because of this stance, I lost all of my childhood friends; it wasn't until I was 15 that I began to, whole-heatedly, take responsibility for my life.

    But, since becoming depressed, I have become less and less like an INTJ. I feel dependent on true emotional support (when I used to not care, since I was 15, about making friend; I only cared about being the best, academically); I don't feel optimistic anymore; I don't even feel intelligent anymore.

    When I never used to flirt, I now do it recklessly. When I never used to (even to girls that I really like) talk about anything other than academic work, I now reveal a ton of information about myself without filtering - especially to girls that I really like. When I used to hate being around too many people, I now get sad when a place becomes less and less crowded. When I used to not give the slightest damn about being in a relationship, I now crave it with all of my hear. I don't understand.
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    (Original post by Summerdays)
    There was no cues in language until after the unfriending, unless you count "why are you telling me this so quickly" part, but then she said it was fine. When I wrote that apology message I was going to go away, but then she replied. I was going to go away when she blocked me the first time, but then she unblocked and messaged me first. The only time I didn't back off was when I e-mailed her six weeks later. Why would she unblock me, while asking me about my depression, and then want me to back off without real explanation? She was giving me mixed signals. Even before the unfriending she said "I will speak to you later " in friendly terms, only to unfriend the very next day. So, of course, I was confused.

    I do agree with the giving up of information quickly - but I was using it to see if she's the type to have a deep friendship with. But, after this, I won't use that technique again.

    Thank you for reading the entire conversation!
    Personally, I would count the "why are you telling me this so quickly?" as it should have been a sign to you that she didn't yet feel at that level of familiarity and closeness with you yet.

    It's also worth noting that all of the advice she gave you was practical and virtually none of the conversations you had were about her - she doesn't disclose much about herself and she doesn't often actually ask you many questions; you tended to overshare without being aware that social norms suggest closed answers (like the majority of hers) do not indicate a desire to progress the conversation. She gives a lot of answers that are dead ends with you then driving the conversation forward yourself. The unfriending appears as if she found a polite way to end the conversation and then, on reflection, decided she felt so uncomfortable that she needed to unfriend you.

    In this paragraph:
    You are really kind. Thank you for all your good words. I think that you are an extremely smart person, knowing how much work, what great plans you have in future and how well have you done with your chemistry course. The thing that got to me was being confused about whether this was a good idea to stay in communication, seeing you liked me very much not only as a friend. I think it is a better thing for both of us not to keep in touch for some time, but you are always welcome to talk when you see me around the campus. I hope you understand. I thought being around me more or seeing me more would increase your feelings towards me, not that I won't believe we cannot be friends, it is just experience talking.. quite a lot of it, that made me do this. I have seen people around me get hurt because I have been too kind and nice, continued on to be their friends, when, in fact, they have always wanted a relationship. It has hurt many of my friends and I didn't understand at that time that the best thing was just to let go.
    It got me to think, I got quite scared about this. Hope you understand.

    she makes herself very clear. Even if she is sugar coating her real reasons, she has given you as much as she intends to by way of explanation. The notion of being free to speak to her in person is her way of softening the blow and most people would take this to mean a polite 'Hi, how are you?' in passing rather than suggesting she is happy for you to have proper conversations. The reason she thinks this is a realistic option is probably because she's essentially saying "I don't want to be friends, but no hard feelings.' She's just making it clear that she doesn't expect you to pretend you don't know each other and create an animosity that isn't necessary. But to all intents and purposes, she has decided she doesn't want any friendship with you. It hurts, but people are entitled to make these decisions and have no obligation to justify their decision. This is the point at which you should just have cut your losses, I'm afraid.

    Then we have this part:
    You: know you said that I'm free to talk to you, but that's essentially a shallow friendship

    Her: Yeah.. I think that is for the better if we won't have a deeper friendship now. Also, you seem quite bold in flirting, it was quite an unexpected move and it got me a bit uncomfortable. But I understand, of course, each person has their own technique, not judging, just saying.

    She agreed with you saying it's a shallow friendship but she's making it clear that this is exactly what she wants. She also says perfectly clearly that you made her uncomfortable. Again, she's finding ways to soften the blow but people do this all the time to avoid hurting people's feelings. It doesn't change the fact she's asking you to leave her alone. You then carried on giving her justifications to try to convince her the friendship could work despite your depression. But she never really said the depression was an issue. She just didn't want to be friends anymore.

    In the next exchange, regarding your depression, she comes across as a bit frustrated. She tries to appease you and offer what seem to her like sensible suggestions to help you support yourself and manage your condition.You keep offering to tell her about depression or to 'show her something' but she isn't giving any signals she particularly wants you to. You carry on anyway.

    Later, she says:
    You seek deep friendship, but I will say that be cautious with opening up to people too quickly, this comes from feeling desperate.

    This seems to be her subtly trying to tell you where you went wrong. She's being slightly indirect here, but most people would spot the hint so she's hoping you'll pick up on that without her having to spell it out completely.

    Then, when you say:
    Me: Haven't you noticed how similar we word things
    The fact that we are both INTJs
    It didn't take me too long to recognise this
    And that's a good skill I was able to develop

    You are making a lot of presumptions. You really don't know her well enough at this stage to be so confident in saying she's just like you. This can often make people slightly resentful and uncomfortable as if you're saying you know them better than they know themselves. She may not have felt this way, but it is a possibility.
    Also, this is a very clear communication on her part that she considers matters closed and wants to be left alone:
    Anyway, I will wish you best of luck and I know you can manage going through this hard time. You are at a very vulnerable stage right now, I reckon you should definitely speak someone more close to you as well.

    She's wishing you luck - something people do to part ways. She even tells you to talk to someone else. She reinforces her opinion that you should share these things with friends you know better.

    Then: Good luck with your exams! I think no further "unconventionalities" or any sort of talking is really needed. I am sorry. And my emotions do not play a role here, on the contrary.

    This couldn't be clearer, especially followed by the blocking. She doesn't want to know. She's uncomfortable. She wants to be left alone. The cues here are quite firm and clear.

    Then your final message:
    ow… This is now the second time that you have blocked me on Facebook… Sigh, maybe I was wrong about you (this is a first for me). I was going to write this on Facebook (before ceasing communication with you - in every way - but I can’t, due to the blocking). Anyway, one of the MANY things I wanted to tell you is that it’s very obvious (and has been for a month now) that you had feelings for me – I’ll spare you the details on how I came up with the conclusion. I was wondering why your “temperament changed” when you spoke to me on the Saturday that we had our final conversation, but it all made sense once I properly analysed what you were actually trying to say.

    “And my emotions do not play a role here, on the contrary” – whom are you trying to fool here?

    Anyway, I’ll respect your wishes and leave for good. At least I can now tell myself that I really tried my best with you – I wanted you to become a very good friend of mine because I saw what you could offer. God bless you! Goodbye.

    This comes across as quite passive-agressive, presumptious and a little rude. Unless her behaviour in person was massively, hugely different, then you don't really have any evidence to say she has feelings for you. It doesn't read that way in her messages. Having only known her eight days, you haven't seen enough of her behaviour with other people to know how she acts with people she has feelings for. Please, as hard as it is when you feel a connection with someone, cut your losses here and move forward. Some social cues aren't always literal or explicit but they are accepted normatives and you seem like you don't always pick up on them so maybe that's an area to work on?

    You seem like a very reflective person, which is a great personality trait, so make the most of that skill but try not to overthink this! I'm sorry if my post here seems in any way like an attack on you and your behaviour - it isn't intended that way. But you have asked for the analysis of what went wrong on your part and an interpretation of her messages rather than any wrongs on her part (and she perhaps could have been more consistent by blocking you and sticking to it) so that's what I've tried to give here!

    Good luck with your uni work and I'm sure you will find plenty of other friends with less complications.
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    Oh, and as a side note...maybe put less emphasis and value on the INTJ label. These personality tests and traits have their place but you seem to have become defined by yours. They are not a complete summary of who you are and are not 100% accurate or set in stone. Try to see it as something interesting and something to help you understand your actions and how to support yourself at times...but don't take it too seriously. You are you, not your label.
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    (Original post by Summerdays)
    It's very long, but I will definitely rep everyone that helps.

    https://docs.google.com/document/d/1...it?usp=sharing
    She likes the fact that you give her so much attention!!!!!
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    (Original post by Sazzle4)
    Personally, I would count the "why are you telling me this so quickly?" as it should have been a sign to you that she didn't yet feel at that level of familiarity and closeness with you yet.

    It's also worth noting that all of the advice she gave you was practical and virtually none of the conversations you had were about her - she doesn't disclose much about herself and she doesn't often actually ask you many questions; you tended to overshare without being aware that social norms suggest closed answers (like the majority of hers) do not indicate a desire to progress the conversation. She gives a lot of answers that are dead ends with you then driving the conversation forward yourself. The unfriending appears as if she found a polite way to end the conversation and then, on reflection, decided she felt so uncomfortable that she needed to unfriend you.

    In this paragraph:
    You are really kind. Thank you for all your good words. I think that you are an extremely smart person, knowing how much work, what great plans you have in future and how well have you done with your chemistry course. The thing that got to me was being confused about whether this was a good idea to stay in communication, seeing you liked me very much not only as a friend. I think it is a better thing for both of us not to keep in touch for some time, but you are always welcome to talk when you see me around the campus. I hope you understand. I thought being around me more or seeing me more would increase your feelings towards me, not that I won't believe we cannot be friends, it is just experience talking.. quite a lot of it, that made me do this. I have seen people around me get hurt because I have been too kind and nice, continued on to be their friends, when, in fact, they have always wanted a relationship. It has hurt many of my friends and I didn't understand at that time that the best thing was just to let go.
    It got me to think, I got quite scared about this. Hope you understand.

    she makes herself very clear. Even if she is sugar coating her real reasons, she has given you as much as she intends to by way of explanation. The notion of being free to speak to her in person is her way of softening the blow and most people would take this to mean a polite 'Hi, how are you?' in passing rather than suggesting she is happy for you to have proper conversations. The reason she thinks this is a realistic option is probably because she's essentially saying "I don't want to be friends, but no hard feelings.' She's just making it clear that she doesn't expect you to pretend you don't know each other and create an animosity that isn't necessary. But to all intents and purposes, she has decided she doesn't want any friendship with you. It hurts, but people are entitled to make these decisions and have no obligation to justify their decision. This is the point at which you should just have cut your losses, I'm afraid.

    Then we have this part:
    You: know you said that I'm free to talk to you, but that's essentially a shallow friendship

    Her: Yeah.. I think that is for the better if we won't have a deeper friendship now. Also, you seem quite bold in flirting, it was quite an unexpected move and it got me a bit uncomfortable. But I understand, of course, each person has their own technique, not judging, just saying.

    She agreed with you saying it's a shallow friendship but she's making it clear that this is exactly what she wants. She also says perfectly clearly that you made her uncomfortable. Again, she's finding ways to soften the blow but people do this all the time to avoid hurting people's feelings. It doesn't change the fact she's asking you to leave her alone. You then carried on giving her justifications to try to convince her the friendship could work despite your depression. But she never really said the depression was an issue. She just didn't want to be friends anymore.

    In the next exchange, regarding your depression, she comes across as a bit frustrated. She tries to appease you and offer what seem to her like sensible suggestions to help you support yourself and manage your condition.You keep offering to tell her about depression or to 'show her something' but she isn't giving any signals she particularly wants you to. You carry on anyway.

    Later, she says:
    You seek deep friendship, but I will say that be cautious with opening up to people too quickly, this comes from feeling desperate.

    This seems to be her subtly trying to tell you where you went wrong. She's being slightly indirect here, but most people would spot the hint so she's hoping you'll pick up on that without her having to spell it out completely.

    Then, when you say:
    Me: Haven't you noticed how similar we word things
    The fact that we are both INTJs
    It didn't take me too long to recognise this
    And that's a good skill I was able to develop

    You are making a lot of presumptions. You really don't know her well enough at this stage to be so confident in saying she's just like you. This can often make people slightly resentful and uncomfortable as if you're saying you know them better than they know themselves. She may not have felt this way, but it is a possibility.
    Also, this is a very clear communication on her part that she considers matters closed and wants to be left alone:
    Anyway, I will wish you best of luck and I know you can manage going through this hard time. You are at a very vulnerable stage right now, I reckon you should definitely speak someone more close to you as well.

    She's wishing you luck - something people do to part ways. She even tells you to talk to someone else. She reinforces her opinion that you should share these things with friends you know better.

    Then: Good luck with your exams! I think no further "unconventionalities" or any sort of talking is really needed. I am sorry. And my emotions do not play a role here, on the contrary.

    This couldn't be clearer, especially followed by the blocking. She doesn't want to know. She's uncomfortable. She wants to be left alone. The cues here are quite firm and clear.

    Then your final message:
    ow… This is now the second time that you have blocked me on Facebook… Sigh, maybe I was wrong about you (this is a first for me). I was going to write this on Facebook (before ceasing communication with you - in every way - but I can’t, due to the blocking). Anyway, one of the MANY things I wanted to tell you is that it’s very obvious (and has been for a month now) that you had feelings for me – I’ll spare you the details on how I came up with the conclusion. I was wondering why your “temperament changed” when you spoke to me on the Saturday that we had our final conversation, but it all made sense once I properly analysed what you were actually trying to say.

    “And my emotions do not play a role here, on the contrary” – whom are you trying to fool here?

    Anyway, I’ll respect your wishes and leave for good. At least I can now tell myself that I really tried my best with you – I wanted you to become a very good friend of mine because I saw what you could offer. God bless you! Goodbye.

    This comes across as quite passive-agressive, presumptious and a little rude. Unless her behaviour in person was massively, hugely different, then you don't really have any evidence to say she has feelings for you. It doesn't read that way in her messages. Having only known her eight days, you haven't seen enough of her behaviour with other people to know how she acts with people she has feelings for. Please, as hard as it is when you feel a connection with someone, cut your losses here and move forward. Some social cues aren't always literal or explicit but they are accepted normatives and you seem like you don't always pick up on them so maybe that's an area to work on?

    You seem like a very reflective person, which is a great personality trait, so make the most of that skill but try not to overthink this! I'm sorry if my post here seems in any way like an attack on you and your behaviour - it isn't intended that way. But you have asked for the analysis of what went wrong on your part and an interpretation of her messages rather than any wrongs on her part (and she perhaps could have been more consistent by blocking you and sticking to it) so that's what I've tried to give here!

    Good luck with your uni work and I'm sure you will find plenty of other friends with less complications.

    Thank you very much for this! I am now very glad that I decided to share the full conversation with TSR - I am getting very insightful feedback!

    Yeah, I wasn't unaware that revealing too much information is against social norms but I decided to do it anyway because of how bad of a state I was during that period. The friendship that I had with a close female friend of mine had dissolved about three weeks before I first met Sue, which made me even more depressed that I already was. What I have realised about myself, over the years, is that when I am emotionally distressed, my flirtiness and recklessness increases by many folds.

    She didn't reveal much about herself in that conversation, you are right (I didn't even notice this) but she did write very long and descriptive text about depression (even before the unfriending). And when I told her that we could be great friends, her reply was "Yes "... But it's hard to tell if she said this just to be friendly (she was probably just being friendly).

    I should add that after the conversation we had on Thursday it wasn't until the following Friday that she decided to unfriend. So, basically, her last message, before she unfriended me, was "Speak to you later and have a good night", that's why I wasn't sure if the unfriending was a message in itself, or if it was out of fear (probably both).

    Another factor is the poems that I sent her:
    If she unfriended me before/without ever reading the three poems that I'd sent her then FOR SURE, she found me creepy and wanted absolutely nothing to do with me
    But, if she did indeed read the poems, and really liked them then, again, the unfriending might have been done out of fear. Sue reads a lot of Jane Austin, Dostoyeski, and Nabakov - and my style of writing is fairly similar to theirs. But this is a question that I will never be able to know. I can show you the three poems that I shared with her, if you would like - not because it will, in any way, help you to know if she did or not.

    Yeah, the talking of person was most likely just a polite was to soften the blow - I guess the "we can be just good acquaintances" confused me at the time. And when she mentioned her uncomfortable she was, she only mentioned the fllirting that I did (i.e. the touching), and not the actual conversation we had during the previous day.

    When I mentioned the depression, I wasn't; trying to imply to her that I think the depression is the issue - I was trying to tell her that I wont have mentioned my depression, in the first place, if I was looking for a romantic relationship; I only wanted friendship 9after finding out she has a boyfriend). But I can see why she could take that the wrong way.

    The reason why I continued on with the conversation, despite her frustrations, is because she was the one that messaged me first AFTER unblocking me - she probably wasn't sure if I was aware of the blocking.

    "You seek deep friendship, but I will say that be cautious with opening up to people too quickly, this comes from feeling desperate."
    I didn't even know what to think at this point I was too confused to know exactly what she was trying to communicate. I did get vibes of her trying to subtly insult me, but not much more. I think your explanation is most likely the right one.

    Yeah, the "Anyway, I will wish you best of luck and I know you can manage going through this hard time. You are at a very vulnerable stage right now, I reckon you should definitely speak someone more close to you as well." definitely sounds like 'goodbye for good!', instead of what she actually wrote - in that same message - which was 'goodbye for now.' But someone else did say that 'goodbye for now' usually does translate to 'goodbye for the foreseeable future' - which is what I think she actually meant.

    That e-mail that I wrote was originally much more aggressive, but I decided to quickly edit some things out before finally sending it. It was meant to be rude. I relented from full-on aggression not only because it would have been inappropriate for me to do so but because I still had respect and admiration for her. The e-mail in itself was, in hindsight, inappropriate and I regret sending it, but the unedited version is a lot worse.

    I was being very presumptuous about her "having feelings" for me, and I blame that to the mixed signals she was (most likely, unintentionally) sending me.
    When I first met her in the library cafe, we spoke for about 30 - 45 minutes. During that conversation she dropped a small amount of bacon (from her baguette) on the table - as she did so, she started blushing and making an audible sound will trying to sweep it. I then asked her "What's that?" and her reply was, in a very cute manner, "I was trying to hide it from you". This means she was self-conscious. Unfortunately, I don't know her anywhere near well enough to know if she's like this with everyone.
    As soon as the conversation was over she waited for me to put my plate away, and she walked with me to the library fourth floor (without me even asking).
    Every timeI saw her in person, after that day, she was very welcoming.
    On the day that I decided to flirt with her, I bumped into her after just having a lecture. She told me that she was heading over to her departmental building because she had presentation to do. I told her that I was heading off to the library, and she decided to follow me. We sat together, just the two of us, on a table - and we spoke about career ambitions. I also told her that if she ever needed help with chemistry she can come to me, and her reply was "of course, that's obvious".
    I should add one thing: She was uncomfortable with the flirting; it was not only visible in her face, the way she laughed also showed it. So when she wrote "No problem whatsoever " after I apologised for the flirting (because I didn't know she has a boyfriend) and then started talking to me, I thought she was fine with it after all. So when she did bring up how uncomfortable it made her, after telling her that I flirt with a lot of girls, it made me to think that maybe she had feelings - if that even makes sense?

    Don't worry, I think you were being very fair in your post. Thank you very much for your analysis and interpretation! I will try and rep you again once I am allowed to.
    (Original post by Sazzle4)
    Oh, and as a side note...maybe put less emphasis and value on the INTJ label. These personality tests and traits have their place but you seem to have become defined by yours. They are not a complete summary of who you are and are not 100% accurate or set in stone. Try to see it as something interesting and something to help you understand your actions and how to support yourself at times...but don't take it too seriously. You are you, not your label.
    The reason why I put emphasis on the INTJ label is because I wanted to use it as a foundation for building a possible friendship with her. INTJs like deep friendships so, although I do understand that I said too much too quickly, I thought she would appreciate my motives. Even though I am a bonefide INTJ, I am still very different to the INTJs that I have read about on forums, yet the fundamental description of an INTJ still describes me very well.
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    From reading the conversation, I think she is a nice friendly girl who was a but taken aback when you confided in her. It didn't seem as though the closeness was felt on her side.
    She listened to you and supported you because she's a nice girl. She felt sad that you were going through a tough time. It did seem that you were very persistent and could not accept that she did not want to continue being friends. You were rather intense and it was suffocating her.
    As for the intermittent blocking and unfriending, I feel that she felt bad at times and did not feel 100% that she made the morally right decision.

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    (Original post by Trottoir)
    From reading the conversation, I think she is a nice friendly girl who was a but taken aback when you confided in her. It didn't seem as though the closeness was felt on her side.
    She listened to you and supported you because she's a nice girl. She felt sad that you were going through a tough time. It did seem that you were very persistent and could not accept that she did not want to continue being friends. You were rather intense and it was suffocating her.
    As for the intermittent blocking and unfriending, I feel that she felt bad at times and did not feel 100% that she made the morally right decision.

    Posted from TSR Mobile
    I tried my best to communicate to her that just because I find her cute doesn't mean we can't be just friends. And the only reason why I wanted to stay friends is because she showed characteristics that I also have (and we even share the same MBTI personality type).

    The conversation confused me for the following reasons:



    • She was still talking to me (and was invested in the conversation) despite the flirting.
    • She seemed really happy when I told her that we can be "really great friends" after it was revealed that we are both INTJs, when she said "Yes ".
    • Before the unfriending, she used a lot of smiley emoticons. When she unfriended me she initially using sad emoticons. And then when she unblocked me, she didn't use any smiley or sad emoticons/the sad emoticons were replaced with ellipses "..".
    • In fact, there was a significant change to the way she spoke to me after unblocking me.
    • It seemed like she was angry at me during the conversation we had after she unblocked me. As if she was trying to find reasons to be 'mean'.
    • For example, despite everything I had already said she still questioned my depression by saying "May I just say that from seeing you in person you don't look like someone that is depressed. You seemed okay." And then the next thing she wrote was her final goodbye to me.


    She initially wrote "I thought being around me more or seeing me more would increase your feelings towards me" and then she said "please, do talk to me when you see me, okay? We can be just good acquaintances".

    When she unblocked me, s
    he asked me about what severe depression is and how is it different from mild depression - this was her first question after unblocking me. But before she even unfriended me she was telling ME about the differences.

    I just wish she was more clear; and consistent with her intentions. First she says it's because of my feelings, then at the end she said it's because of how vulnerable I am, I shouldn't talk to someone that I am attracted to because feelings will culminate. I don't know.

    The reason why I am still looking for answers is because I find it impossible to move on without concrete answers (it was like this with my former best friend). So I have been asking a lot of questions in hopes that it would help me to get as close to understanding what her true intentions were without going to the horse's mouth itself.

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    I think she just wanted to be left alone, and she tried hard to be polite about it. that is all there is to it.

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    (Original post by Trottoir)
    I think she just wanted to be left alone, and she tried hard to be polite about it. that is all there is to it.

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    The mixed signals is what I don't like. She could have done it in a much better fashion. Normally, I don't care but she reminded me so much of me.
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    "i wrote her a poem"

    lmao

    edit: you talked to her to way to much as if you've got no one else to talk to, you put way to much trust in her when you hardly knew her, which seems a insecure and desperate attempt to get a friend, learn to keep things casual with acquaintances and let the relationship slowly progress over time
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    (Original post by TSA)
    Read the first few lines. She has a boyfriend, it's a no go.

    Unless of course you are of the belief that even the goal has a goalkeeper so why not take a shot.
    Mr TSA, are you an 'exmuslim' yet? lol
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    (Original post by kieron95)
    "i wrote her a poem"

    lmao

    edit: you talked to her to way to much as if you've got no one else to talk to, you put way to much trust in her when you hardly knew her, which seems a insecure and desperate attempt to get a friend, learn to keep things casual with acquaintances and let the relationship slowly progress over time
    Correction: I wrote a poem about her that I DIDN'T share with her. I could PM it to anyone who wants to read.

    The thing is, I only talked to her FOUR times in person, two of those times were short 2 minute talks. The other two times were the first time I spoke to her (30 minutes) and the last time I spoke to her (30 minutes). 90 % of the interaction we had was on facebook, which is all documented in the google doc file in the OP.
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    (Original post by BasharAssad)
    Mr TSA, are you an 'exmuslim' yet? lol
    I dunno, haven't really denounced the faith but don't really follow it that much anymore. (Don't pray 5 times a day, pray Qur'an etc)
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    (Original post by TSA)
    I dunno, haven't really denounced the faith but don't really follow it that much anymore. (Don't pray 5 times a day, pray Qur'an etc)
    lol your story was very funny when I read it the other day, well good luck
 
 
 
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