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Would you still talk to your father if.. Watch

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    (Original post by donutaud15)
    Hypothetical

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    :dontknow: It's a bit like imagining I hadn't gone to school where I did. Too many potential alternative situations and missing memories.
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    (Original post by Meena94)
    I'll forgive him.

    Regret is something we all have. And when we are dying regret Knocks at our door. But as a person we must forgive for peoples mistakes even though they have caused us so much pain. Because at the end if the day we will eventually be at our death bed. Regretting things we have done in our past. It is your life and your choice.

    He's still your dad no matter what...
    Trust me, you'll regret it if you don't forgive him.

    You 'll miss the chance to know the man whose DNA you carry. It may not seem to matter right now, but you will wonder later on about what parts of you come from him.

    We all mess up in life one way or another. Give him the chance to make his peace with you or you may regret it one day.
    Personally I have given him a chance. Several chances actually. But I don't think he deserves it.

    That's why I'm asking people what they would do.

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    (Original post by katbob)
    Really? :hugs:


    Btw you and missfats better get it back on...I want to be a bridesmaid. :mad:
    :dontknow: In the past year I've only said about 20 words to him, despite us living under the same roof.

    She's incredibly stubborn so don't put your hopes up.
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    (Original post by Abdul-Karim)
    :dontknow: In the past year I've only said about 20 words to him, despite us living under the same roof.

    She's incredibly stubborn so don't put your hopes up.
    What? Why? Not even salaam to each other? :eek:

    Look you can take the damn kids, I've told her she can always make more.
    Just agree to marry her already and get this over with

    Don't make me do something I'll regret...
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    (Original post by katbob)
    What? Why? Not even salaam to each other? :eek:

    Look you can take the damn kids, I've told her she can always make more.
    Just agree to marry her already and get this over with

    Don't make me do something I'll regret...
    Excluding that of course.

    I shan't agree to enter a marriage in whereby the rulings haven't been formerly decided on.

    What's this something that you'll do?
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    If you're pro-choice. You would
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    (Original post by ChickenMadness)
    If you're pro-choice. You would
    Even if he did it because he's scared he'll be disinherited? And he turned up few years later expecting normal father - child relationship without making any effort?

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    (Original post by SHINeexo)
    I would still want a father even if he abandoned me! I would sit down with him and try to understand why he wanted to make those decisions, then ask him what his intentions are now. Is he willing to take responsibility and to own up to what he did and is he willing to pay back for all those lost years? Is he going to work things out with your mom and try to be there regardless of complicated situations?
    I think we tend to judge people based on what we hear, if we don't like hearing something we immediately go against it without analysing the cause of it.

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    What if he said he wanted you aborted/abandoned because he would have been disinherited if he didn't and you noticed that he's still not interested in responsibility? Just interested in being a dad when it suits him?


    (Original post by bluemax)
    Has he changed ? Has he apologized for what he did? Time has taught me that although most people don't change there are some who do indeed. Forgiving is by far one of the hardest things in life and there have been moments where it has been really tested.
    What about if a person hasn't changed but has apologized?



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    (Original post by donutaud15)
    Even if he did it because he's scared he'll be disinherited? And he turned up few years later expecting normal father - child relationship without making any effort?

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    Well I wouldn't. But pro-choice people shouldn't care since they support decisions like that.
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    (Original post by ChickenMadness)
    Well I wouldn't. But pro-choice people shouldn't care since they support decisions like that.
    I'm pro-choice in general (others not for myself) but if someone choose to walk away then they shouldn't expect their kid to want anything to do with them few years later. They should accept that their kid made the choice like they did.

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      If I liked him then yeah, why not. I'd try to keep a bit of distance though, in case he suddenly decided he didn't want a child again. :indiff:
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      bump

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      (Original post by ChickenMadness)
      If you're pro-choice. You would
      I'm struggling to make the connection here, how does that affect whether or not you show respect to a guy who didn't want you in the first place and abandoned your mother?
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      (Original post by donutaud15)


      What about if a person hasn't changed but has apologized?



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      Then the apology really has no meaning. I'm sorry to hear your situation. I was really hoping that your father was a change man.


      Look I haven't been in your shoes so I can't really tell you what to do. Do what you think feel right. I would probably talk to the extent of necessity and not for a bonding session.
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      (Original post by bluemax)
      Then the apology really has no meaning. I'm sorry to hear your situation. I was really hoping that your father was a change man.


      Look I haven't been in your shoes so I can't really tell you what to do. Do what you think feel right. I would probably talk to the extent of necessity and not for a bonding session.
      I do talk to him but part of the reason I've created this thread is to see what would people do in the situation. I've got to a point where, shall we say I'm evaluating, my relationship with him

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      (Original post by Abdul-Karim)
      Excluding that of course.

      I shan't agree to enter a marriage in whereby the rulings haven't been formerly decided on.

      What's this something that you'll do?
      Hey, I thought your only condition was that you get to keep the children in the event of a divorce. Have your lawyer draw up a contract stating your terms and conditions.
      My client and I shall look through the said papers and discuss any amendments. To which we shall reply.

      I don't think its appropriate at this time for me to discuss this something with you.
      Its a last resort, if you don't agree with the above
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      (Original post by katbob)
      Hey, I thought your only condition was that you get to keep the children in the event of a divorce. Have your lawyer draw up a contract stating your terms and conditions.
      My client and I shall look through the said papers and discuss any amendments. To which we shall reply.

      I don't think its appropriate at this time for me to discuss this something with you.
      Its a last resort, if you don't agree with the above
      I have many conditions.
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      (Original post by Abdul-Karim)
      I have many conditions.
      Okay flip this then... Last chance dude.

      Just marry the damn woman. I don't want to do this. Don't make me do it.

      Do you agree to marry her or not?
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      (Original post by katbob)
      Okay flip this then... Last chance dude.

      Just marry the damn woman. I don't want to do this. Don't make me do it.

      Do you agree to marry her or not?
      I shan't get married until I'm 35. :dontknow:
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      (Original post by Abdul-Karim)
      I shan't get married until I'm 35. :dontknow:
      You damn well shall.
      Right that's it. You're getting black magicked.Big time.

      I'm going to call up my scary aunt this instance and ask her to teach me the dark arts. I can't believe I've been resorted to this during Ramadan.
      Be afraid. Very afraid.

      Just say yes goddammit!
     
     
     
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