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Annoyed (and a little upset) by what a male friend said. Watch

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    My god, over reacting much? Why would such a thing bother you? I would avoid bringing it up with your friend, it was clearly just banter and you'll just come across as a bloody loon. Let it go.
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    (Original post by iheartplums)
    To cut a long story short, yesterday I was in the passage-way of my friend's house (I'll call her Katie). A male friend (I'll call him John) was in the living room with 2 other guys who live with Katie ( I know the 2 guys but wouldn't class them as "friends").

    The door was shut so I'm guessing they didn't know I was outside (Katie was in the loo and I was waiting downstairs for her so we could leave the house to go where we wanted). Then one of the guys in the living room says "Do you fancy [insert my name]" to which John responds with "Not really but I'd probably give her a go".

    It pissed me off. I have never looked at him in a sexual way and I expected better from him tbh. He could have just responded with a simple "no" without the last part - what a **** thing to say! I can even understand speaking like that about some girl you hardly know but not about someone that you're supposed to be ****ing friends with - it's just plain disrespectful. Grrr I know it's a silly stupid comment but it's been annoying me all day.
    The way guys talk to other guys and the way they talk to girls is completely different. If he liked you, he wouldn't approach you and say "I'd bang you" because this isn't romantic or flattering and is obviously not going to work (on most girls anyway). It's like those dating site fails, where guys message a girl saying sleazy stuff like "so wanna have sex" before they even know her.

    If he were to approach you, he'd talk differently ie "you're gorgeous, do you wanna go for drinks sometime?" Now imagine a guy saying stuff like that around a large group of guys... "She's so pretty, she gives me butterflies" their response would be "haha wtf man you gay or something?!"... That sorta thing. It's about appearing macho and a lad. As sad as it is, that's just the way things are with some guys.

    As disappointed and hurt as you may be, think about it if it were you talking about him; you might have said something like "I don't think he's hot eww no" girl type convo.. I know I'm generalising here but you get the idea.

    I don't think you should take it personally. At least he wasn't saying anything crude like "yeah she's got banging tits man I look at her arse all the time I'd bang that all night" etc..
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    (Original post by iheartplums)
    To cut a long story short, yesterday I was in the passage-way of my friend's house (I'll call her Katie). A male friend (I'll call him John) was in the living room with 2 other guys who live with Katie ( I know the 2 guys but wouldn't class them as "friends").

    The door was shut so I'm guessing they didn't know I was outside (Katie was in the loo and I was waiting downstairs for her so we could leave the house to go where we wanted). Then one of the guys in the living room says "Do you fancy [insert my name]" to which John responds with "Not really but I'd probably give her a go".

    It pissed me off. I have never looked at him in a sexual way and I expected better from him tbh. He could have just responded with a simple "no" without the last part - what a **** thing to say! I can even understand speaking like that about some girl you hardly know but not about someone that you're supposed to be ****ing friends with - it's just plain disrespectful. Grrr I know it's a silly stupid comment but it's been annoying me all day.
    As one person said, this is quite typical guy talk. Two things I can clarify from my own experiences:

    1. when a guy friend asks me if I like a girl we know, it means that he can tell I fancy her.
    2. if I respond with "yeah I think she's lovely and I fancy her", then he will most likely take the piss, make stupid jokes and embarrass me like the world depended on it when we're together with the girl.

    Even if John didn't fancy you, in that situation male instinct takes over and you hear the response he gave.

    Don't think too much of it at all - it's an irrelevant comment and one that is probably not entirely true.
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    (Original post by Neckbeard Fedora)
    saying that you don't fancy someone is basically saying that you personally find them unattractive.
    Seriously? So you fancy every single attractive friend that you have?
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    (Original post by Another)
    Seriously? So you fancy every single attractive friend that you have?
    You completely missed my point, read it in context and see my other posts. Of course saying you don't fancy someone isn't a bad thing or an insult at all. The point is that, in "guy speak," saying that and then "I'd still give her a go" is basically saying that you'd still use someone for sex/a relationship (usually being able to "bang them and brag about it afterwards), but that they're "good for nothing else." I've heard other guys say stuff like that plenty of times before. It's not a polite thing to say about someone.
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    Lots of guys say/have said this exact line. It's partly to big themselves up a bit and partly true.
    A guy wont usually need to find a girl that attractive to be open to having sex with her a few times.

    It's just 'guy talk'. There are many worse things you could have heard him say.

    And to the people stating that "it's all he wants from you"
    No it isn't. It means he's not really going to go out of his way to have sex with her (he probably doesn't find her that attractive), but if the option came about - he'd still do it.
    Its not likely he fancies her.
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    (Original post by Neckbeard Fedora)
    You completely missed my point, read it in context and see my other posts. Of course saying you don't fancy someone isn't a bad thing or an insult at all. The point is that, in "guy speak," saying that and then "I'd still give her a go" is basically saying that you'd still use someone for sex/a relationship (usually being able to "bang them and brag about it afterwards), but that they're "good for nothing else." I've heard other guys say stuff like that plenty of times before. It's not a polite thing to say about someone.
    that isn't remotely the case, it is basically saying "I am not actively trying to have sex with her, but she is attractive enough that if she asked me I would not say no". It is not saying she is good for nothing else, it is saying that he doesn't actually fancy her but that she is still attractive and he does not view her in a completely sexless way.
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    this is why women you lot are crazy
    op you are being extremely fragile and borderline immature
    Hes a man what do you expect him to say.
    Its boy banter
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    (Original post by iheartplums)
    A male friend (I'll call him John) was in the living room with 2 other guys who live with Katie ( I know the 2 guys but wouldn't class them as "friends").

    I have never looked at him in a sexual way and I expected better from him tbh. He could have just responded with a simple "no" without the last part - what a **** thing to say! I can even understand speaking like that about some girl you hardly know but not about someone that you're supposed to be ****ing friends with
    Contradiction at its finest..
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    (Original post by Tom78)
    Contradiction at its finest..
    How?

    John's comment is the one that bothered her and he is her friend.
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    (Original post by iheartplums)
    To cut a long story short, yesterday I was in the passage-way of my friend's house (I'll call her Katie). A male friend (I'll call him John) was in the living room with 2 other guys who live with Katie ( I know the 2 guys but wouldn't class them as "friends").

    The door was shut so I'm guessing they didn't know I was outside (Katie was in the loo and I was waiting downstairs for her so we could leave the house to go where we wanted). Then one of the guys in the living room says "Do you fancy [insert my name]" to which John responds with "Not really but I'd probably give her a go".

    It pissed me off. I have never looked at him in a sexual way and I expected better from him tbh. He could have just responded with a simple "no" without the last part - what a **** thing to say! I can even understand speaking like that about some girl you hardly know but not about someone that you're supposed to be ****ing friends with - it's just plain disrespectful. Grrr I know it's a silly stupid comment but it's been annoying me all day.
    pretty much most guys say that. better start getting used to it.

    i when i was younger i used to think i'd find a nice girl. now i think their all whores
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    female complaining of male attention. how typical.
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    There's nothing negative about it

    I don't know what it means to other people, but when one of my friends has asked me if I like X, I either say "No" even though I do. Or I say "Na" because I don't like them.

    Him then further saying I'd probably give her a go is what some of my friends say. I personally don't say things like that but they say it because they actually do like person X.

    Up to you with what you do, but this is just my personal opinion.
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    Yeah that was a horrible thing to say. Don't know why people are defending him.

    On the plus side though, it's sort of a compliment about your appearance.
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    (Original post by Just_Need_To)
    There's nothing negative about it

    I don't know what it means to other people, but when one of my friends has asked me if I like X, I either say "No" even though I do. Or I say "Na" because I don't like them.

    Him then further saying I'd probably give her a go is what some of my friends say. I personally don't say things like that but they say it because they actually do like person X.

    Up to you with what you do, but this is just my personal opinion.


    (Original post by nohomo)
    Yeah that was a horrible thing to say. Don't know why people are defending him.

    On the plus side though, it's sort of a compliment about your appearance.
    Thanks, I suppose I was just surprised to be spoken about by a friend in a way that I'd expect a non-friend to speak about somebody.

    It's all sorted now though
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    (Original post by iheartplums)
    Thanks, I suppose I was just surprised to be spoken about by a friend in a way that I'd expect a non-friend to speak about somebody.

    It's all sorted now though
    Good to hear it, how come you bolded out a section of my post?
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    (Original post by Just_Need_To)
    Good to hear it, how come you bolded out a section of my post?
    I was gonna comment something on it and then got distracted by my phone and ended up forgetting that I'd bolded part of the text. What a ditz - lol!
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    (Original post by iheartplums)
    I was gonna comment something on it and then got distracted by my phone and ended up forgetting that I'd bolded part of the text. What a ditz - lol!

    Lol, what was you going to write?
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    (Original post by Just_Need_To)
    Lol, what was you going to write?
    I don't even remember tbh. If it comes to me I'll let you know.
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    (Original post by iheartplums)
    I don't even remember tbh. If it comes to me I'll let you know.
    Ok
 
 
 
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