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My best friend is obsessed with race Watch

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    She's an air head. A racist one lol.
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    Simply ignorant. Maybe you should explain to her that what she says is rude?!
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    First, a bit of context: I'm black (but british born, as are my parents) and my best friend is white.
    The problem is that whenever I happen to mention to her that I like somebody, her first question is 'Okay, but what race are they?'. Then she makes weird comments like 'Oh, I can only see you with black guys' and 'Yeah, I really can't imagine you ever dating a white guy'. I don't understand why race is such a major factor in the people I like and date. I date people I like, regardless of race.
    She's known for saying things like 'Oh, I would date a black guy, but I definitely wouldn't marry one. I don't think they're marryable'.
    The other day, we were having a discussion about the world cup. I was saying that it was funny that england were out so early and she retaliated by saying that 'it's only because the people in the other, poorer countries have nothing else to do'. When I asked her what she meant, she said that she was talking about the fact that in Africa, they're all poor so they have nothing else to do but to fetch water and play football. When I tried to explain to her that, no, a lot of people in Africa AREN'T poor and the majority have proper jobs, cars and houses, she brushed me off. This is somebody that has never been to Africa in her life.
    She also makes rather ignorant comments. The other day, she said to my friend who is south asian that 'it must be nice to not worry about dating, as your parents are arranging a marriage for you'. My south asian friend was rather offended, as she has never said anything about having an arranged marriage to my best friend (and she's not).
    She calls East Asian people 'weird'. I am an avid fan of korean music. When I asked her if her boyfriend listened to korean music, she said: 'no, because he's white. White people don't listen to that weird music'.

    What the hell is wrong with her? I've only just started noticing, so these are the most recent examples, but it's been an ongoing problem throughout our friendship (almost 7 years now).
    I would not say she is a racist mainly because if she truly was, then I cannot imagine herself being so 'honest' about it and still be friends with you for such a long time. To me, she appears clueless in this area. If she had a clue, maybe she would not be so honest with her 'racism'. I think she does not truly know that it is inappropriate and she probably truly believes that what she is saying is true and therefore cannot be racist. She probably picked this 'knowledge' about other races from close individuals who may also have a conception of other cultures that is too distorted. So it would be difficult to change her views. So...you either decide that you will not sacrifice your time on someone who has distorted conceptions which is embarrassing, or you just accept her as she is or talk to her about it...although I don't think she will change overnight (or at all) as she has had these conceptions for a long time.

    However I could be completely wrong about this and you know her better than we do. But I am talking from experience of encountering what some individuals may call 'racist' but I think they just have an extremist view of a culture that they believe to be true.
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    First, a bit of context: I'm black (but british born, as are my parents) and my best friend is white.
    The problem is that whenever I happen to mention to her that I like somebody, her first question is 'Okay, but what race are they?'. Then she makes weird comments like 'Oh, I can only see you with black guys' and 'Yeah, I really can't imagine you ever dating a white guy'. I don't understand why race is such a major factor in the people I like and date. I date people I like, regardless of race.
    She's known for saying things like 'Oh, I would date a black guy, but I definitely wouldn't marry one. I don't think they're marryable'.
    The other day, we were having a discussion about the world cup. I was saying that it was funny that england were out so early and she retaliated by saying that 'it's only because the people in the other, poorer countries have nothing else to do'. When I asked her what she meant, she said that she was talking about the fact that in Africa, they're all poor so they have nothing else to do but to fetch water and play football. When I tried to explain to her that, no, a lot of people in Africa AREN'T poor and the majority have proper jobs, cars and houses, she brushed me off. This is somebody that has never been to Africa in her life.
    She also makes rather ignorant comments. The other day, she said to my friend who is south asian that 'it must be nice to not worry about dating, as your parents are arranging a marriage for you'. My south asian friend was rather offended, as she has never said anything about having an arranged marriage to my best friend (and she's not).
    She calls East Asian people 'weird'. I am an avid fan of korean music. When I asked her if her boyfriend listened to korean music, she said: 'no, because he's white. White people don't listen to that weird music'.

    What the hell is wrong with her? I've only just started noticing, so these are the most recent examples, but it's been an ongoing problem throughout our friendship (almost 7 years now).
    Talk to her about it and tell her to stop being ignorant.
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    I dunno why you're friends with such a retarded and racist scum for so long! :mad:
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    Is your friend a chav that gets her news from the Daily Fail (Mail) only? :lol:
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    (Original post by golden tribe)
    damn. do people like this exist in 2014
    I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but even in 2014, a hell of a lot of people are ignorant, bigoted scum.
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    Is she for real lol? How can someone be that ignorant?
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    (Original post by themorninglight)
    Is she for real lol? How can someone be that ignorant?
    Yeah, she's (unfortunately) for real.
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    she sounds incredibly ignorant (I mean seriously, african people just play football all day?), however as she is friends with people of ethnic minorities I would guess she doesn't actually dislike them it is probably just the case that she has been brought up in an ignorant environment so that is all she has been taught and she doesn't actually mean any offense

    its easy for me to say as someone who hasn't experienced racist remarks but if she was my friend I would try and call her out on her behaviour and explain why it is offensive, it may be that she just needs educating and will be horrified to realise what she has been saying
 
 
 
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