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A stay at home mum's ''salary'' should be almost 120k/year Watch

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    (Original post by Plasticity)
    Unfortunately you're the exception to the rule.

    The majority of women would want their partner to be the main breadwinner.

    While stay at home dads are a nice idea, there is a strong biological argument for stay at home mums being the norm. Gender norms are sometimes created by society, but always originate from evolutionary instincts.
    Complete bull****. Maybe in the old days before women went away to uni in big numbers, but that view died out back in the 60s.

    Get with the times dude. Its 2014, not 1914.
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    Check out the surveys on the % of women that would prefer to not return to work after kids if they could afford it. The last figures I saw were in the high 70s.
    Women do have a habit of making their own minds up on these matters, regardless of what the gender warriors keep telling them they should think.
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    (Original post by redferry)
    Bearing in mind breast pumps are now a thing, what's the argument for mums staying at home these days though?

    From the perspective of someone whose dad did most of the childcare I thought it was a really positive thing tbh, I didn't have any negative experiences from it.
    It takes up to an hour to pump one feed, if baby is young they need up to 10 feeds a day


    (Original post by nohomo)
    They should be called "Stay at home bums"

    Using the word "mum" implies they're more of a "mum" than a "career woman" with kids, when arguably the career woman is setting a better example by going out and doing something interesting.
    It isn't a bad thing to want to raise your own kids through the early years,


    I'm a stay at home mum to a 1 year old with a part time job & studying , it's hard now it was nice at the beginning when she didn't move!! But here's my days schedule, 6am Wake up, clean her up, change clothes while she squirms, prepare a feed & breakfast, she throws breakfast all over the floor,I then clean it up and proceed to change her again & then chase her round all day, I mean she pulls everything out the cupboards, rips up everything it's like Taz mania has been released on the house, she goes to sleep at 7pm I then when I feel utterly knackered have to revise, finish assignments being interrupted by bouts of crying through the evening and night due to various things (too hot, too cold, had a nightmare, needs a drink) & a simple visit to town takes planning,
    I actually go to work for a break, for adult conversation & where I can go to the loo in peace it's incredibly tiring but I love it because she's my mini me, I'm really looking forward to developing my own career though, I don't want to just be seen as a "mum" I want to be a seen as a valuable member to society, I want my daughter to say "mum you had me young but you tried hard to better your life and I'm proud of you" I'm excited to do nursing hours compressed over 3 days so I can at least pick her up from school 2 days in the week,
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    (Original post by Emememily733)
    "Selfish decision" - ? No, you've got that wrong. It's a selfLESS decision, I think it's quite disgusting for you to discredit someone's decision to want to look after their child and bring them up themselves if they have the ability to do so.
    No, they are your children, you decide to have them, looking after them to the best of your ability is expected, not selfless! Jesus.

    I think you come across as absolutely bitter that you didn't have that growing up to be perfectly honest. It's not "lauded about as a superior choice" at all, I've never ever seen any SAHM make out that their choice to be that makes them a better individual - I know of countless people my mum is friends with who wished they too had been SAHMs, but never has my mum made out that she deserves special attention for being one. My parents never claimed benefits, always supported themselves and my mum gave up a job she really enjoyed to devote her time to bringing me up, I respect her for that 1 million percent.
    What's claiming benefit got to do with anything? Everyone got child benefit back then, did they send it back?

    She did what made her happiest, again, it's not selfless to look after your own children, that you wanted :/

    My mum was judged heavily fir going back to work as soon as she could. Why would I be bitter? I had an amazing childhood and loved my nursery and childminders. One of my friends to this day I met at nursery!


    I was constantly around other kids too growing up, as a result of the attention I got from my mum I always did well at school, was a good communicator from an early age and I'm a confident well-rounded individual - just because your mum wasn't a SAHM doesn't mean you're a more well rounded individual than someone who was brought up by a SAHM. It's funny really.. the only reason some people think this way nowadays is because the government want them to.. sheep mentality.
    Or because we respect women's decision to work if they wish and understand that both methods of parenting are just as good as each other?
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    (Original post by Emememily733)
    "Selfish decision" - ? No, you've got that wrong. It's a selfLESS decision, I think it's quite disgusting for you to discredit someone's decision to want to look after their child and bring them up themselves if they have the ability to do so. I think you come across as absolutely bitter that you didn't have that growing up to be perfectly honest. It's not "lauded about as a superior choice" at all, I've never ever seen any SAHM make out that their choice to be that makes them a better individual - I know of countless people my mum is friends with who wished they too had been SAHMs, but never has my mum made out that she deserves special attention for being one. My parents never claimed benefits, always supported themselves and my mum gave up a job she really enjoyed to devote her time to bringing me up, I respect her for that 1 million percent.
    I was constantly around other kids too growing up, as a result of the attention I got from my mum I always did well at school, was a good communicator from an early age and I'm a confident well-rounded individual - just because your mum wasn't a SAHM doesn't mean you're a more well rounded individual than someone who was brought up by a SAHM. It's funny really.. the only reason some people think this way nowadays is because the government want them to.. sheep mentality.
    She said it was selfish because "It is sureley a choice you make based on what you think is going to be best for your kids and what you prefer, " which is true.

    And I have certainly seen a lot of support for stay-at-home-mum being a superior choice on my Facebook newsfeed and I think it is mostly stupid, since every family tries to do what is best for their situation. Sometimes I do think it doesn't deserve the praise SAHMs (or aspiring SAHMs) give themselves, because I expect that in a lot of scenarios the reason they have made this decision is because they would rather be with their child rather than work a job. It's the easy-out, and so SAHMs are eager to express how much "work" they do in order to justify how much employed work they don't.
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    (Original post by vickidc18)
    It takes up to an hour to pump one feed, if baby is young they need up to 10 feeds a day



    It isn't a bad thing to want to raise your own kids through the early years,


    I'm a stay at home mum to a 1 year old with a part time job & studying , it's hard now it was nice at the beginning when she didn't move!! But here's my days schedule, 6am Wake up, clean her up, change clothes while she squirms, prepare a feed & breakfast, she throws breakfast all over the floor,I then clean it up and proceed to change her again & then chase her round all day, I mean she pulls everything out the cupboards, rips up everything it's like Taz mania has been released on the house, she goes to sleep at 7pm I then when I feel utterly knackered have to revise, finish assignments being interrupted by bouts of crying through the evening and night due to various things (too hot, too cold, had a nightmare, needs a drink) & a simple visit to town takes planning,
    I actually go to work for a break, for adult conversation & where I can go to the loo in peace it's incredibly tiring but I love it because she's my mini me, I'm really looking forward to developing my own career though, I don't want to just be seen as a "mum" I want to be a seen as a valuable member to society, I want my daughter to say "mum you had me young but you tried hard to better your life and I'm proud of you" I'm excited to do nursing hours compressed over 3 days so I can at least pick her up from school 2 days in the week,
    I appreciate that you're working a lot, and it must be hard. But in other threads, it seems your husband earns a lot, so perhaps you are being paid more than you're doing. Not saying it makes you a bad person though. I'm male, so it'd be harder for me, but I won't lie and say I wouldn't be tempted by the prospect of more money for little work, especially if I genuinely loved the person offering me money and wanted to spend more time with them.

    Thing is though, a lot of stay at home mums only do the stay at home mum part of it. It sounds like your kid might be a harder case (though I'm sure your kid is great in other ways). They are equivalent to unqualified carers for the young or mentally ill, at worst, and such workers get paid about minimum wage or at most £20,000 a year, I'd say.
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    (Original post by vickidc18)
    It takes up to an hour to pump one feed, if baby is young they need up to 10 feeds a day
    Really?? I had no idea. Wonder how my friend finds the time! O_o

    The internet says 10-15 mins if you do both at once!
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    And there are mums who do all of this on top of their actual job

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    (Original post by redferry)
    Really?? I had no idea. Wonder how my friend finds the time! O_o

    The internet says 10-15 mins if you do both at once!
    It depends on the pump you're using and how fast your let down is, it takes me an hour to pump one feed though and for a few of my friends.
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    (Original post by vickidc18)
    It depends on the pump you're using and how fast your let down is, it takes me an hour to pump one feed though and for a few of my friends.
    They need to sort that **** out! Are good pumps really expensive? My friend just dies it in the evening while watching tv.

    It's meant to take 15 mins with a good pump to empty both breasts, but I've no idea how many feeds that is...
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    Everytime I masturbate, I should be paid prositute's wages?

    An hour at £100 an hour = 700 quid a week

    The government owes me 35.7 grand
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    Sigh.

    I want a raise for being fabulous.
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    (Original post by miser)
    She said it was selfish because "It is sureley a choice you make based on what you think is going to be best for your kids and what you prefer, " which is true.

    And I have certainly seen a lot of support for stay-at-home-mum being a superior choice on my Facebook newsfeed and I think it is mostly stupid, since every family tries to do what is best for their situation. Sometimes I do think it doesn't deserve the praise SAHMs (or aspiring SAHMs) give themselves, because I expect that in a lot of scenarios the reason they have made this decision is because they would rather be with their child rather than work a job. It's the easy-out, and so SAHMs are eager to express how much "work" they do in order to justify how much employed work they don't.
    You're one of the most ignorant people I've ever seen on here.
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    (Original post by redferry)
    They need to sort that **** out! Are good pumps really expensive? My friend just dies it in the evening while watching tv.

    It's meant to take 15 mins with a good pump to empty both breasts, but I've no idea how many feeds that is...
    Hospital grade pumps are really good but they cost like 1k to buy or £50 to hire each month thats really expensive if you bf up to a year, the midwives are rubbish at explaining expressing and the pumping avaliable, I had a crappy manual pump for 2 months and I used to cry it it was so slow!!!
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    (Original post by Emememily733)
    You're one of the most ignorant people I've ever seen on here.
    Ok, though I would rather you explained why, since otherwise leaving it at that seems like ad hominem territory.
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    (Original post by Emememily733)
    "Selfish decision" - ? No, you've got that wrong. It's a selfLESS decision, I think it's quite disgusting for you to discredit someone's decision to want to look after their child and bring them up themselves if they have the ability to do so. I think you come across as absolutely bitter that you didn't have that growing up to be perfectly honest. It's not "lauded about as a superior choice" at all, I've never ever seen any SAHM make out that their choice to be that makes them a better individual - I know of countless people my mum is friends with who wished they too had been SAHMs, but never has my mum made out that she deserves special attention for being one. My parents never claimed benefits, always supported themselves and my mum gave up a job she really enjoyed to devote her time to bringing me up, I respect her for that 1 million percent.
    I was constantly around other kids too growing up, as a result of the attention I got from my mum I always did well at school, was a good communicator from an early age and I'm a confident well-rounded individual - just because your mum wasn't a SAHM doesn't mean you're a more well rounded individual than someone who was brought up by a SAHM. It's funny really.. the only reason some people think this way nowadays is because the government want them to.. sheep mentality.
    DAYUM you went HAM on her. Rep later.
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    (Original post by cole-slaw)
    Complete bull****. Maybe in the old days before women went away to uni in big numbers, but that view died out back in the 60s.

    Get with the times dude. Its 2014, not 1914.
    Funny, as almost all evidence points the other way. What people think they 'want' and what people actually end up doing are usually very different. Ideally we would see a 50:50 split, but as long as women are the ones giving birth, that won't happen.
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    (Original post by redferry)
    They need to sort that **** out! Are good pumps really expensive? My friend just dies it in the evening while watching tv.

    It's meant to take 15 mins with a good pump to empty both breasts, but I've no idea how many feeds that is...
    Human females haven't been selectively bred for their response to milking machines, unlike cows, so there is huge variation. There are women who find they cannot breastfeed, women who can breastfeed but find they can't pump milk, and women who not only pump milk effectively for their own baby, but are able to donate milk to hospital milk banks.

    When I say good in the context of breast-pumps, I personally mean hospital-grade kind of good.

    The Medela Symphony double pump costs £45 to rent per month. http://www.medela-rental.co.uk/shop/...eastpump-hire/

    It's £1,600 to buy outright. http://www.nctshop.co.uk/professiona...ductinfo/2000/

    I understand their single pumps are cheaper, but being single-pumps, they're less efficient.

    P.S. http://kellymom.com/bf/got-milk/basi...aq/#refillmyth Breasts aren't emptied, exactly, so I would consider what else the website you're looking at says to be suspect.

    Fifteen minutes is extremely dodgy. 15 minutes per breast, perhaps with a hospital grade pump. 15 minutes for both? No bloody way. And that, unless the baby is very young, is probably going to be one feed. The pump is trying to simulate a baby's suck. An actual baby, unless s/he has feeding problems (hence the pump, for many women) is more efficient than a pump, not less.
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    Okay let's see, what official "roles" do I dabble in as a stay-at-home-mum? (I have 4 kids, aged 8, 6, 4, and 1)

    Chauffeur
    Cleaner
    Cook
    Baker
    Gardener
    Carer
    First Aider
    Homework Assistant
    Secretary
    Hairdresser
    Psychologist
    Mediator
    Laundrette server
    Waitress
    Dog Walker
    Personal Shopper
    Travel Agent
    Accountant
    Window Cleaner
    Nanny
    Handy(wo)man

    and probably a lot more. But que sera sera.
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    As for pumping breastmilk, it takes me 40 to 60 minutes just to pump 6oz. It's not easy.
 
 
 
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