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Do schools REALLY do anything about bullying? Watch

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    (Original post by Mr Smurf)
    No. If you want the bullying to stop you have to take care of it yourself.

    That really is ridiculous advice and not plausible for some bully victims.
    In my case I tried that and it did not work because I had a good team of 10 girls bullying me, how on earth was I alone supposed to stop those bullies? I was socially isolated because of my bullying and only had 2 friends who were ALWAYS off sick so I didn't even have a support system in school or a place to feel safe.
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    Btw off topic, are you a girl or guy?
    I thought you were a guy but guys don't wear makeup do they?
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    (Original post by ScottishScott)
    My school works well to make the victims feel better but when it comes to dealing with the bully nothing is done, what is done comes across as being a joke and so it will continue.


    Posted from TSR Mobile
    Well at least your school did something. My school just threw me back with them, acting like I was over-exaggerating, just because the bullies could pull off an Oscar-worthy performance.

    (Original post by DiddyDec)
    My school didn't really have a bullying problem. If there was a clear cut case of bullying against someone it was dealt with by the pupils themselves before it even got to the teachers. It was a good system, better than any punishment the teachers could have given out. Also it wasn't a very big school. About 200 pupils at the time.

    Although in my school years (not so long ago), my teachers were the sort of people who would not hesitate to throw a book at you (literally) for talking in class. We were taught to respect each other and our teachers.
    Sounds like a really good school. More schools should be like that! My school was small too, only around 100-something pupils, so I'm not actually exaggerating when I say it was the entire school bullying me.

    (Original post by CallMeBatwoman)
    Im sorry you had such a horrible experience OP. I was bullied from year 4 to year 11, year 8-10 were the most severe, and on some days I just didn't want to even get out the car and go in. The school did basically nothing, if I reported it, which I only did once because afterwards I realised it did nothing, all that happened was I had to write out what happened and who did it, they were brought in and made to say sorry, but afterwards things went straight back to how they were before.
    Eventually I just stopped caring, the whole experience made me kind of cold I guess, in some ways I became even meaner than the people that used to bully me. Either way, I don't take crap from anyone anymore, so I did come out stronger. But that was just me refusing to be hurt anymore, the actual school did nothing useful. The issue is there isn't much they can do short of expelling students, and the system meant it was difficult for my school to expel someone, they get basically a million chances, unfortunately a school can't stop a horrible person from being horrid.

    Posted from TSR Mobile
    I empathise with you so much. My experience was exactly the same! Literally, their punishment was apologising to me. In the end, my father just stopped believing me and thought I was exaggerating, so I was forced to go in. Then I just stopped caring. I'm glad you got through it!

    Are you doing better now?
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    (Original post by SophieSmall)
    Yeah it was rare being able to stay off, I ever went to the extremes of forcing myself to vomit sometimes on the particularly bad days just so i could stay off, I'd always also make sure I was late for school so I didn't have to go to form registration as I had no friends only bullies in that class.

    I think it made me a stronger and more empathetic person, I won't tolerate anyone bullying people any more.

    And thank you, I'm long past those days now I'm in university much better now.
    Oh God, I remember that panic of not wanting to go to school. Half the time I really vomited. My dad also thought I was exaggerating, so it was another reason for me to be forced in. I had no friends at all, I hate reliving it

    I'm glad that you got out of it stronger! I like to believe that I'm the same, but I know I'll always have these confidence issues.

    Good to hear that you're in uni!

    (Original post by Goody-Goddy)
    honestly no, i've been to three schools now (moved due to bullying) and not one school can handle bullying in the slightest, all that happens is they tell them off and maybe give them a 15 minute detention thats about it, its not a deterrent so the bullies just do it again, my confidence was pretty much destroyed and i still struggle with dealing with people.and the teachers start treating you like a burden asking them to do more work. i think the best option would be learning how to defend yourself, if threatened physically, and make it clear you won't take crap from these people and just try to make friends, theres always some nice people. kinda sucks but with how inept schools are at handling this stuff i don't see much other choice. i hate the feeling like the bullies got away with it all, i seriously think harsher punishments are needed for bullies or fine the parents each time they cause trouble then their parents will make them stop it as opposed to some teacher the bullies don't give a crap about.

    but anyway I'm glad to hear your lifes going well now , i don't think you ever forget about it all but it does sort of fade out a little so its less on your mind, the pasts the past i guess.
    I'm sorry to hear about your experiences I'm glad that I went to a good school and made friends after getting out of hospital. I hope you're doing better now?

    I agree with you. Something definitely has to be done about this.

    But it's hard to say learn how to physically defend yourself, if like in my case, it's around 100 people doing the bullying. Maybe if it's a small group, even then I think physical violence just makes things worse.

    (Original post by SophieSmall)
    That really is ridiculous advice and not plausible for some bully victims.
    In my case I tried that and it did not work because I had a good team of 10 girls bullying me, how on earth was I alone supposed to stop those bullies? I was socially isolated because of my bullying and only had 2 friends who were ALWAYS off sick so I didn't even have a support system in school or a place to feel safe.
    I agree!

    (Original post by Secretnerd123)
    Btw off topic, are you a girl or guy?
    I thought you were a guy but guys don't wear makeup do they?
    Exactly my point!

    I'm a guy. That's why it's so embarrassing and shoots down my confidence so much.
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    (Original post by Keyser-Soze)
    Oh God, I remember that panic of not wanting to go to school. Half the time I really vomited. My dad also thought I was exaggerating, so it was another reason for me to be forced in. I had no friends at all, I hate reliving it

    I'm glad that you got out of it stronger! I like to believe that I'm the same, but I know I'll always have these confidence issues.

    Good to hear that you're in uni!
    Yeah :/ though considering your father is a surgeon he surely knew you were well enough to go to school, my mum was always a "let's be on the safe side" kind and would let me stay off if I'd been sick

    Ahh I know how you feel, I still have confidence issues but I deal with them better now.

    And thank you have you gone to uni/ are you going to?
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    (Original post by Keyser-Soze)
    Exactly my point!

    I'm a guy. That's why it's so embarrassing and shoots down my confidence so much.
    All teenagers get acne. Go to a good dermatologist and let your skin breathe charlie (thats your name right?) your skin will get better believe me. Also diet plays a role too so lay off the sugary stuff. Best of luck for the future and I genuinely hope everything works out the way you want it to in the future
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    (Original post by simplylldxo)
    Well no, taking the bullying into your own hands isn't the way to solve it. It'll make things 100x worse!
    Because telling the teachers will solve it? What if the bullies do not care what the teachers do?

    (Original post by Keyser-Soze)
    This is horrible advice. You shouldn't have to take care of it yourself. That's why you have teachers, people that are supposed to look out for your well-being and education. They're adults. You're not. Bullies, children, need discipline from authority figures.

    And what could you possibly do? Stand up to them? I know that's the lesson that everyone teaches, but in the real-world it doesn't work. If I'd stood up to my bullies, the entire school, then I'd have been jumped sooner and by more people.

    There's a reason bullies pick on weak people - because they know they'll be capable of beating them.
    So the entire school bullied you? You either went to a very small school or are heavily exaggerating. Teachers looking out for you is mostly the stuff of fairy tales. If the bullies do not mind getting "punished" by teachers then what good is it? They pick on mentally weak people mostly. You must have the courage to do what is necessary to stop the bullying. Do bullies show compassion for their victim? Of course not, so why share it with them? They are beyond saving and something must be done with them.
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    (Original post by andrew2209)
    Is it just me, or does the whole "keep everyone back until someone owns up" seem like a really stupid way to deal with an incident.
    To be honest, if the teacher doesn't know "whodunnit" that's they're only option. It's irritating, but I'd rather know that my teachers took bullying seriously and miss an hour of a day than think there was no-one who would take my complaints seriously, if I needed to make them.

    (Original post by universal_set)
    .....
    These sorts of Facebook posts don't actually do anything to prevent bullying.
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    (Original post by SophieSmall)
    Yeah :/ though considering your father is a surgeon he surely knew you were well enough to go to school, my mum was always a "let's be on the safe side" kind and would let me stay off if I'd been sick

    Ahh I know how you feel, I still have confidence issues but I deal with them better now.

    And thank you have you gone to uni/ are you going to?
    That's good!

    No, not yet. I'm going to college now. I hope to go to uni, though. But probably not next year, the year after with my girlfriend (but that's a different story entirely.)

    (Original post by Secretnerd123)
    All teenagers get acne. Go to a good dermatologist and let your skin breathe charlie (thats your name right?) your skin will get better believe me. Also diet plays a role too so lay off the sugary stuff. Best of luck for the future and I genuinely hope everything works out the way you want it to in the future
    Yeah, that's my name. I have been to dermatologists, and I'm on medicine. But my skin is really bad, and I'll probably have to get laser treatment as well.

    Thanks a lot!
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    (Original post by Keyser-Soze)
    That's good!

    No, not yet. I'm going to college now. I hope to go to uni, though. But probably not next year, the year after with my girlfriend (but that's a different story entirely.)



    Yeah, that's my name. I have been to dermatologists, and I'm on medicine. But my skin is really bad, and I'll probably have to get laser treatment as well.

    Thanks a lot!
    Good luck hope you enjoy uni
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    (Original post by Mr Smurf)
    Because telling the teachers will solve it? What if the bullies do not care what the teachers do?
    But if you take things into your own hands, does it make you the bigger person? No. If you do the exact thing that they did to you, does that not make you a bully?

    Bullies are usually the people who have been a victim themselves.

    I mean there is the LEA if the teachers and police don't do anything.
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    (Original post by Mr Smurf)
    Because telling the teachers will solve it? What if the bullies do not care what the teachers do?



    So the entire school bullied you? You either went to a very small school or are heavily exaggerating. Teachers looking out for you is mostly the stuff of fairy tales. If the bullies do not mind getting "punished" by teachers then what good is it? They pick on mentally weak people mostly. You must have the courage to do what is necessary to stop the bullying. Do bullies show compassion for their victim? Of course not, so why share it with them? They are beyond saving and something must be done with them.
    Well, if the teachers discipline them like they're supposed to, then they should care. Like if they're forced to see the head, at least then they'd know that I wasn't 'exaggerating.'

    Yeah, I went to a selective private school, so there were only around 100 and something pupils. I may be exaggerating, but it was near enough everyone in school. Also, on social networks it probably was everyone.

    That's what I'm saying. The bullies SHOULD mind getting punished by the teachers because the teachers should discipline them better.

    I understand what you're saying, but I couldn't have taken the situation into my own hands at all. I wouldn't even know who to start with because the school were all equal in their taunts. It's all good saying 'take it into your own hands', but it's different when it's happening to you and you're afraid everyday of your life. It's just like telling someone afraid of spiders to take a spider into their own hands.
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    (Original post by SophieSmall)
    Good luck hope you enjoy uni
    Thanks
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    My school claimed to have a tough anti bullying policy and have zero tolerance etc, but in reality they did nothing, i was bullied in year 7 which my head of year attempted to sort out and nothing really changed, eventually the girl got bored and moved onto someone else by the end of year 7.
    In year 10 and 11 i was having loads of trouble with someone i used to be friends with, and when reporting it to my new head of year they turned around to me and said well your not friends anymore what did you expect? (not a good thing to say to me when i was already in tears), she was really rude, and she didn't even attempt to talk to my ex friend. My parents then got involved and took the matter to the head who also did nothing.
    One friend I had reported a group of guys who bullied him repeatedly (because no one did anything about it) just for a teacher to turn around and have a go at him for constantly reporting the bullies as it was harrassment etc and wouldnt believe that he was being bullied.
    No one took bullying seriously at my school which led to a lot of bullying happening as they knew they could get away with it, I think schools like to pretend they have zero tolerance policies etc to look good on paper, but in reality either it doesn't exist or they don't actually stick to it.
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    I had a nasty falling out with one of my friends and they called me names, purposely excluded me, told people that I had made them cry and told me that everyone hated me. I'm not sure if you'd call it bullying but my mum contacted the school and when I asked they moved me to a different tutor group so I wouldn't have to deal with them as often. I don't think they were actually spoken to though or punished for it but it solved the problem for me.
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    (Original post by racheyroo)
    My school claimed to have a tough anti bullying policy and have zero tolerance etc, but in reality they did nothing, i was bullied in year 7 which my head of year attempted to sort out and nothing really changed, eventually the girl got bored and moved onto someone else by the end of year 7.
    In year 10 and 11 i was having loads of trouble with someone i used to be friends with, and when reporting it to my new head of year they turned around to me and said well your not friends anymore what did you expect? (not a good thing to say to me when i was already in tears), she was really rude, and she didn't even attempt to talk to my ex friend. My parents then got involved and took the matter to the head who also did nothing.
    One friend I had reported a group of guys who bullied him repeatedly (because no one did anything about it) just for a teacher to turn around and have a go at him for constantly reporting the bullies as it was harrassment etc and wouldnt believe that he was being bullied.
    No one took bullying seriously at my school which led to a lot of bullying happening as they knew they could get away with it, I think schools like to pretend they have zero tolerance policies etc to look good on paper, but in reality either it doesn't exist or they don't actually stick to it.
    I'm sorry that happened to you. My school was exactly the same. You could tell the head was getting annoyed with how often my mother was at the school, yet he refused to even listen to us.

    Are you doing okay now?
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    (Original post by Claros)
    I had a nasty falling out with one of my friends and they called me names, purposely excluded me, told people that I had made them cry and told me that everyone hated me. I'm not sure if you'd call it bullying but my mum contacted the school and when I asked they moved me to a different tutor group so I wouldn't have to deal with them as often. I don't think they were actually spoken to though or punished for it but it solved the problem for me.
    Yeah, I would class that as bullying. I'm glad to hear that something was done about it!
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    (Original post by Keyser-Soze)
    I'm sorry that happened to you. My school was exactly the same. You could tell the head was getting annoyed with how often my mother was at the school, yet he refused to even listen to us.

    Are you doing okay now?

    Yeah it's really annoying how they did nothing, and its the last thing you want when you report someone for bullying etc for the teacher to turn round and turn it against you, yeah they refused to listen to my parents too, luckily i went to a different college so didnt see them much after year 11
    Yeah im doing good now no problems since leaving school , sorry to hear your school was exactly the same, unfortunately i think many are, how are things for you now?
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    (Original post by TSR Mustafa)
    My school literally will permanently exclude you for bullying , something which seems small such as name calling and your gone.
    Damn, I wish my sister's primary school was like this... two of my younger sister have been SERIOUSLY bullied, until very recently, I'm not even going to tell the story.
    But OP, to answer your question, no they do not, at least this particular one doesn't. My mum has visited the school multiple times and the last time was threatened by one of the teachers who started screaming at my mum... a make teacher as well! My stepdad went up and he the teacher started crying saying sorry... that night his house got set on fire, hmmmmm.

    I appreciate you making this thread though, I feel talking about stuff like this makes it feel better somewhat.
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    (Original post by Keyser-Soze)
    Yeah, I would class that as bullying. I'm glad to hear that something was done about it!
    Yes, my school was quite good with regards to things like bullying. In a way it was a good thing because when I moved tutor groups I made a lot more friends and felt more accepted there, so I didn't even bother thinking about my old friends. One of them ended up leaving and the other one I'm ok with now.
 
 
 
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