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Guy (25) going out with a divorced single mother (19) Watch

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    (Original post by Stinkum)
    It's her life, I didn't say she should abandon all hope and stop living. But this guy should not get involved in a relationship with such a person, considering all the circumstances. I've kept completely silent about it and haven't said a word, but I really don't want to see this carry on. I fear it may be heading towards a long term relationship, possibly even marriage. And because I'm involved/affected by the situation, you can understand why I'd be disturbed.

    He should leave her, and she should find someone else who is of the same race as her and of a similar cultural background. It's as simple as that.

    Also, there are religious and family matters that are important in this situation, but I can't get into it.
    Frankly you need to mind your own business, he's dating her not you. So she's had a child that may or may not be illegit. and it's interracial - if these things aren't worrying him then they sure as hell should not be worrying you. I don't understand why you're disturbed there's nothing wrong with interracial relationships and there's definitely nothing wrong with them maybe procreating.
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    (Original post by donutaud15)
    Just read through the whole thread. Sounds like OP just wants people to support his disapproval of this relationship.



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    I don't know your past experiences or what your life has been like. But it seems like you're being very biased, your judgement is adversely affected by your past experiences, that's what it seems like. I wanted to get people's views, to see if anyone else finds it as disturbing as I do. There are also religious and family factors that play a huge part in this scenario, bear that in mind. I'm not trying to get people to pick sides, but simply to offer opinions and thoughts. You seem to be forcing yourself to consider this situation as being normal, I have a feeling you're slightly uneasy at the prospect of these two people forming a serious relationship which may lead to something more.
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    (Original post by Stinkum)
    Tad racist? Definitely not. The reason I bring up race has nothing to do with race discrimination.

    (Original post by Stinkum)
    she has a child from another man
    she's a different race to the guy
    completely different cultural backgrounds
    and they shouldn't really be in a relationship
    Then why is this an issue? Race should not be a barrier in any relationship.
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    (Original post by matthewduncan)
    Interracial marriages for the most part do not last and should be left alone, add that to the fact shes 19,single and has a kid i would stay right away from her.
    :curious: The reason they don't last is because people trouble em for being a mixed couple. There was a time it was illegal to be mixed couple.

    As to second part I don't blame you but that's her road and her man's, kid. People go down the wrong way, so yes I am acknowledging she had gone down the wrong way but demonising her is also a wrong way.
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    (Original post by Stinkum)
    I'm specifically referring to the act of procreation, i.e. the creation of interracial offspring. It's not racist at all. I respect people from different races and nationalities, but that doesn't mean I approve of people from different races having children together.

    That's not the only issue here. The fact that she had an (interracial) child at the age of 17...it's very worrying. I do not want to judge her, but my suspicion is that this is not something to be proud of. Clearly, she has a very dark, tarnished past. Why does this guy want to get involved with someone like that when he has seen, first hand, exactly what this sort of relationship causes?

    Yes, I've been directly affected by yet another interracial relationship. This happened a few years ago. The guy went behind his father's back (who's still furious and massively disappointed), had a relationship with a woman of a different race, got married and had a child. Things really got out of hand there.

    And the other guy wants to follow in his (above) footsteps and repeat the same thing...that is the definition of insanity. This sort of relationship brings with it so many problems, it's not worth it at all.

    Besides, what sort of family dynamic is there going to be with a previously divorced single mother, her interracial child and a man of a different race? It's really messy.

    A racist will never admit they're racist, so I can see why you're still trying to deny it. It is racist of you to say that people shouldn't mix and have children.

    Loads of people nowadays have children at a young age. Yes it's not a great thing, but you don't know everyone's circumstance. Just because she had a child at a young age DOES NOT make her a bad person. Many people out there have children young but grow up to lead good lives, and achieve well, and on top of that, raise good children. We may not hear about it much, but it does happen in the world. I've seen it for myself.

    "Yes, I've been directly affected by yet another interracial relationship. This happened a few years ago. The guy went behind his father's back (who's still furious and massively disappointed), had a relationship with a woman of a different race, got married and had a child. Things really got out of hand there.

    I'm sorry, but when it comes to relationships, a parents input or feelings mean **** all. It's down to those two people. If they love each other nobody has the right to put an end to that. Yes parents can give advice and say "Oh well I don't really like that person" But a person should not pick and chose who they date BECAUSE of their parents.

    I believe you're trolling. No human with a brain and common sense should be thinking the way you are. You're basically saying that ALL interracial relationships are bad, messy and bring nothing but negativity. What utter *******s. It's got nothing to do with race, it's down to the PEOPLE. Relationships can become bad and messy because of the PEOPLE in it, not because one is white and one is black for example. Your hate for interracial relationships is pathetic, invalid and stupid.

    "Besides, what sort of family dynamic is there going to be with a previously divorced single mother, her interracial child."

    There are MANY reconstituted families out there that find the strength and love to work.

    Please, come out from that rock you've been hiding under, grow some sense, and realise that the world is changing and always will change.
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    (Original post by Zenomorph)
    1st off stop putting words into my mouth.

    She may have a problem with her father, with men, thus she wants ' revenge ', only problem is when you divorce someone , there are innocent victims - children.

    Also fact she did it with another race may corroborate this, that she used it for shock value against her family.

    She should confront her own family viz her issues and not involve others - she's a coward.

    And the coloured guy who got involved should realise he may be used as an animal - dehumansied. if he did it knowing this then difficult to for him to demand respect from others indicating he could be a self racist

    Is this all too deep and complicated for you ? Your ignorance is making me laugh
    This makes so much sense, and definitely confirms several concerns I've been having. Thanks for the response, tried to rep you but I'm out of rep for today unfortunately.
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    (Original post by Stinkum)
    she has a child from another man
    she's a different race to the guy
    completely different cultural backgrounds
    and they shouldn't really be in a relationship
    So single men and women with children are not allowed to find other partners??

    What's so wrong about interracial couples? Two people like each other...they have different cultures...shock horror(!)

    He obviously likes this girl. They may or may not work out in the long run but that's life.

    If you don't support their relationship, just look away. Nobody is forcing you to be in an interracial relationship with a single mother.
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    (Original post by Stinkum)
    I don't know your past experiences or what you life has been like. But it seems like you're being very biased, your judgement is adversely affected by your past experiences, that's what it seems like. I wanted to get people's views, to see if anyone else finds it as disturbing as I do. There are also religious and family factors that play a huge part in this scenario, bear that in mind. I'm not trying to get people to pick sides, but simply to offer opinions and thoughts. You seem to be forcing yourself to consider this situation as being normal, I have a feeling you're slightly uneasy at the prospect of these two people forming a serious relationship which may lead to something more.
    People have expressed opinion and thoughts. You however tried to justify yourself further by withholding additional information that may or may not change opinions on here.

    In your OP you did not mention religious factors. Though again I don't see how this affects you since it doesn't seem to be a problem to the couple. At least that's what you implied so far.

    My past experience makes me bias about one thing and that's about my disgust on people who judge (pressumed) illegitimacy and interracial relationships.

    On the contrary I feel at ease at two consenting adults forming a relationship. It's those who try to meddle because of ridiculous reasons that I feel ill at ease with.




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    (Original post by Zenomorph)
    1st off stop putting words into my mouth.

    She may have a problem with her father, with men, thus she wants ' revenge ', only problem is when you divorce someone , there are innocent victims - children.

    Also fact she did it with another race may corroborate this, that she used it for shock value against her family.

    She should confront her own family viz her issues and not involve others - she's a coward.

    And the coloured guy who got involved should realise he may be used as an animal - dehumansied. if he did it knowing this then difficult to for him to demand respect from others indicating he could be a self racist

    Is this all too deep and complicated for you ? Your ignorance is making me laugh
    Nearly all of this depends on her having issues with her family.. Which we don't know she does. She could have a very supporting family, and this relationship could have nothing to do with them..
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    (Original post by Novascope)
    A racist will never admit they're racist, so I can see why you're still trying to deny it. It is racist of you to say that people shouldn't mix and have children.

    Loads of people nowadays have children at a young age. Yes it's not a great thing, but you don't know everyone's circumstance. Just because she had a child at a young age DOES NOT make her a bad person. Many people out there have children young but grow up to lead good lives, and achieve well, and on top of that, raise good children. We may not hear about it much, but it does happen in the world. I've seen it for myself.

    "Yes, I've been directly affected by yet another interracial relationship. This happened a few years ago. The guy went behind his father's back (who's still furious and massively disappointed), had a relationship with a woman of a different race, got married and had a child. Things really got out of hand there.

    I'm sorry, but when it comes to relationships, a parents input or feelings mean **** all. It's down to those two people. If they love each other nobody has the right to put an end to that. Yes parents can give advice and say "Oh well I don't really like that person" But a person should not pick and chose who they date BECAUSE of their parents.

    I believe you're trolling. No human with a brain and common sense should be thinking the way you are. You're basically saying that ALL interracial relationships are bad, messy and bring nothing but negativity. What utter *******s. It's got nothing to do with race, it's down to the PEOPLE. Relationships can become bad and messy because of the PEOPLE in it, not because one is white and one is black for example. Your hate for interracial relationships is pathetic, invalid and stupid.

    "Besides, what sort of family dynamic is there going to be with a previously divorced single mother, her interracial child."

    There are MANY reconstituted families out there that find the strength and love to work.

    Please, come out from that rock you've been hiding under, grow some sense, and realise that the world is changing and always will change.
    I suspect he's a troll in need of attention. At least I hope so.

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    (Original post by Stinkum)
    I have highlighted this in another post. It is a huge issue. People should not have children with people from different races, it's as simple as that. As a society and a civilisation, we must ensure equality between people of all races, everyone must be treated the same and there can be no discrimination based on race. Please lets stop confusing the two things here. Racism has nothing to do with it. My only concern is for the children.
    Why should people of different races not have children together?
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    (Original post by donutaud15)
    I suspect he's a troll in need of attention. At least I hope so.

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    I just had to check his profile out... It says he's in middle school... I'm from the UK so I'm guessing he must be aged between 11-13? No wonder he's an idiot. The poor kid hasn't been educated correctly.
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    (Original post by ApeMob)
    :curious: The reason they don't last is because people trouble em for being a mixed couple. There was a time it was illegal to be mixed couple.

    As to second part I don't blame you but that's her road and her man's, kid. People go down the wrong way, so yes I am acknowledging she had gone down the wrong way but demonising her is also a wrong way.
    Nah interracial marriages dont last because cultures clash my dear. Not because people trouble them.
    Most people dont care who you marry.
    And im not demonising her Im just saying why settle for less when you can have better?
    Dont know why any self respecting 25 year old would date a girl thats a single teen mum.
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    (Original post by Stinkum)
    I have highlighted this in another post. It is a huge issue. People should not have children with people from different races, it's as simple as that. As a society and a civilisation, we must ensure equality between people of all races, everyone must be treated the same and there can be no discrimination based on race. Please lets stop confusing the two things here. Racism has nothing to do with it. My only concern is for the children.
    So why can't people have the freedom to be in relationships with whoever they want? Omg.
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    (Original post by donutaud15)
    People have expressed opinion and thoughts. You however tried to justify yourself further by withholding additional information that may or may not change opinions on here.

    In your OP you did not mention religious factors. Though again I don't see how this affects you since it doesn't seem to be a problem to the couple. At least that's what you implied so far.

    My past experience makes me bias about one thing and that's about my disgust on people who judge (pressumed) illegitimacy and interracial relationships.

    On the contrary I feel at ease at two consenting adults forming a relationship. It's those who try to meddle because of ridiculous reasons that I feel ill at ease with.




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    It's my fault, I haven't been very clear. I fear she may be using him. She doesn't care about how this will affect him, his life and his relationship with his family. It will ruin his relationship with his father and completely destroy him. He's not using his brain, I think he's so excited and happy that someone has shown in interest in him. Unfortunately, instead of his brain, he's letting another body part do the thinking.

    When people form relationships, they should consider the wider implications and consequences. It's selfish not to. They must consider how it will affect both of their families. And he just seems to be happy to continue this secret relationship (but obviously I know, it's so blatant, ever since I talked to her I knew straight away there was something going on between them).
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    (Original post by matthewduncan)
    Nah interracial marriages dont last because cultures clash my dear. Not because people trouble them.
    Most people dont care who you marry.
    And im not demonising her Im just saying why settle for less when you can have better?
    Dont know why any self respecting 25 year old would date a girl thats a single teen mum.
    Exactly!!! Thanks very much. My point exactly (highlighted in bold). That's what really upsets me about the whole thing. This thing is all wrong. I hope they put a stop to it soon before it goes any further.
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    (Original post by matthewduncan)
    Nah interracial marriages dont last because cultures clash my dear. Not because people trouble them.
    Most people dont care who you marry.
    And im not demonising her Im just saying why settle for less when you can have better?
    Dont know why any self respecting 25 year old would date a girl thats a single teen mum.
    "Nah," because people trouble em. They had culture clashes in the worst way when they were dating doofus
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    (Original post by Stinkum)
    Exactly!!! Thanks very much. My point exactly (highlighted in bold). That's what really upsets me about the whole thing. This thing is all wrong. I hope they put a stop to it soon before it goes any further.
    I hope they put a stop to you soon before you go any further :rolleyes:
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    (Original post by Novascope)
    I just had to check his profile out... It says he's in middle school... I'm from the UK so I'm guessing he must be aged between 11-13? No wonder he's an idiot. The poor kid hasn't been educated correctly.
    "Having lived with different people at different points in time, every single time"

    " When I'm living with a woman, I literally find myself trying to stay out for"

    He posted this a few hours back in another thread regarding marriage so I was assuming he was older. Then again he could just be a bored troll.





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    This thread isn't really helpful now at all. You people don't seem to grasp the dire implications here. All I'm hearing is "oh okay, they're in love, let them be, it's none of your business". If the same thing was happening to you, trust me you would be singing a whole different tune.
 
 
 
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