Year 12s: what will be the first way you research your future options? >>

Why did your parents divorce? And what did their divorce teach you about....

Scroll to see replies

My parents divorced when I was about 8, just because they weren't ideal for eachother. Neither of them did anything wrong, just a lack of communication, and there wasn't a great deal of love there. I think it has taught me a lot but if anything I'm glad they divorced, they are so much happier apart than they were together and it's taught me to be so grateful for my parents because they put their differences aside for me and I know I am incredibly lucky to still be close to both parents as a lot of people with divorced parents don't get to have this. I think considering that not only my parents but every couple besides 1 have divorced in my family, I have a positive view on relationships because I just think it's down to really being sure about who you are marrying and not settling for just anyone.

Reply 41

MrsSheldonCooper

They just fought all time. Sad thing about divorce is that the kid's supposed to "pick sides"

Reply 42

Anonymous #1

I know of a girl who dad cheated on the mother. He then ran off to Wales with the woman. Mother subsequently got depressed and committed suicide. The amount of bitterness those children are going to grow up having, it's unreal.

Reply 43

Trustno1

My dad cheated on my mum

My mum dealt with it for good few years

My dad started to be open about it

My mum got upset

My brothers and me decided to get a lawyer and get them divorced

What I learnt?

Arrange marriage is sh*t

Never trust someone 100%

Being kind is not always the best

Posted from TSR Mobile

Reply 44

Alfissti

Parents never divorced. I on the other hand divorced the ex-wife as she had become a 1st class bitch.

Lessons learned?

1) Never trust her friends or family 100% as no matter how good you treat them they will turn against you if it is in their interest to do so.

2) Always keep money for a rainy day and make sure your house isn't your only major asset.

3) If you have money, keep the value or amount of it to yourself. Saved me a BIG bundle.

4) Know where and when to draw the line and enforce this VERY early in the relationship. When you give an inch it won't be long before it is a mile that would be demanded.

5) Always have good lawyers :smile:

6) Your kids can and will be used as a weapon against you one way or another, I am lucky in this respect the idiot decided she didn't want them as that would be baggage for her when she went on to a new relationship and she knew they would be disruptive to my life and that I'd never abandon them.

7) It is never too late to get a nuptial agreement where it is legal to do so and you stand the best chance for it being legally binding where the other party also has something to gain from it without much of a fight.

8) If money can solve the problem then it is no problem at all, you are better off using that money to solve the problem then to let it drag on.

9) If there are bad-mouthing, ALWAYS take the moral high ground. Best to not respond to it as eventually the truth will be out in the open.

10) Past is past but always learn from the mistakes.

Reply 45

doodle_333

dad cheated on my mum, dunno how long for but it was long term

I try not to let it teach me too much about romantic relationships, we all know that many marriages end in divorce and many people cheat on their partners, the fact that one of those statistics includes my parents doesn't mean anything about my relationships, however it has taught me not to let the fact that I'm unhappy with my life affect how I feel about my relationship as I strongly feel that was what my dad did, he blamed his relationship and then got out of it and realised he was even more miserable

it has taught me about relationships in general as the divorce was very messy and a lot of that had to do with the fact that as a family we didn't talk about anything properly, for example my dad didn't tell any of us kids that he'd found someone else, I found out by accident and didn't tell anyone I knew etc and in the end it just caused a lot of hurt and upset and meant that none of us were able to support each other properly

Reply 46

username1315644

Meh, not going to detail it. But lesson in trust and the legal system, don't assume plan A will last.

Reply 47

sam_town1

Dad didn't want to be a dad and wanted to focus on being a GP so he left mum (conveniently on valentines day). He ended up immensely regretting that decision and developed mental health issues (which went unnoticed) as he felt he had lost the chance to be a father and killed himself a couple of years later shortly after I had spent my sixth birthday with him.

Posted from TSR Mobile

Reply 48

SophieHT

My dad had an affair, but it has taught me that even if a relationship looks great and happy it's not always like that on the inside

Posted from TSR Mobile

Reply 49

Over2you

There are some really wild posters on here. Shame infidelity seems to be the highest on the list.

Reply 50

childofthesun

So many divorces :frown:

must be extremely tough on the people involved.

Fortunately, 25 years and 6 kids later,my parents are still together,and they're happy :smile:

Reply 51

AdamCee

Unlike all these other stories, to this day I'm still not 100% sure about my parents. Never argued, no 'other people' involved or any of that, and my parents were friends since early teens

What did it teach me?
Sometimes relationships will just fail, even if you do nothing wrong.

Reply 52

Eva.Gregoria

Weird reasons. I prefer it this way personally. I learnt that marriages are the overstatement of the century and frankly, a divorce is more likely and so I'm mentally prepared for it.

Posted from TSR Mobile

Reply 53

Jakeh

Original post by Eva.Gregoria

I thought I was mentally prepared for break ups because hey marriages dont work. I defo wasnt. Just be aware it will still hurt no matter how much u think u are prepared for it.

Reply 54

Eva.Gregoria

Original post by Jakeh

I thought I was mentally prepared for break ups because hey marriages dont work. I defo wasnt. Just be aware it will still hurt no matter how much u think u are prepared for it.

Can't hurt that much, I've mentally told myself it's unlikely to work and I've been like this pretty much the last few years and I feel fine :dontknow:

Posted from TSR Mobile

Reply 55

Jakeh

Original post by Eva.Gregoria

Can't hurt that much, I've mentally told myself it's unlikely to work and I've been like this pretty much the last few years and I feel fine :dontknow:

Posted from TSR Mobile

How can ylu ever truly be with someone and completely open if you are convinced it wont work anyway. Its not the way to do it :frown:

gotta open up and let the heart take the risk

Reply 56

Eva.Gregoria

Original post by Jakeh

How can ylu ever truly be with someone and completely open if you are convinced it wont work anyway. Its not the way to do it :frown:

gotta open up and let the heart take the risk

Nope, not worth it imo. I'll go through the motions and be as involved as I'll allow myself to and if it works, great! If it doesn't, oh well :redface:

Posted from TSR Mobile

Reply 57

Jakeh

Original post by Eva.Gregoria

Nope, not worth it imo. I'll go through the motions and be as involved as I'll allow myself to and if it works, great! If it doesn't, oh well :redface:

Posted from TSR Mobile

Aw thats a real shame. Yeah how I feel now sucks. And id rather not be so depressed but when I am in a relationship I feel amazing. Just miss it now haha

Reply 58

SallyTheKid

Original post by sam_town1

That sounds horrible :frown:

:hugs* Sorry to hear that.

Reply 59

SecretDuck

My parents divorced because my father had an affair.

So I learned that I should always drink in moderation, never smoke (if I would do it, I wouldn't do it in front of my own child ffs) and never cheat when I am married.