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Manager was forceful - need advice Watch

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    (Original post by TolerantBeing)
    There can be no bias in the experience of distress considering it's a completely subjective state. If an individual claims to have experienced distress/stress at an event you have to take their word for it. Unless you had the equipment at hand to measure her physiological state at the appropriate time...


    In fact, it's you who is appearing rather biased, considering the OP stated explicitly that he was wrongly shouting at her because she was not in the wrong, yet you just said- it sounds like he was telling OP off for doing something wrong, OP got stroppy and tried to walk off. Not only have you completely disregard what the OP has told us, but your use of persuasive (and grammatically incorrect) language, such as 'got stroppy' suggests you are for some reason disagreeing with the OP because of your own bias.

    I also thinking you need to look up on assault in the workplace.
    Guy A freaks out because thinks guy B has, wrongly, stolen his wallet after dropping it in the street. Guy A tries to grab guy B on the arm as he attempts to leave the discussion because he is pissed off and "distressed". Guy A stops after a few seconds when he realises guy B is a bigger guy than him and this isn't worth it, a moment of clarity if you will.

    Would you still reccomend that gentleman B pushes for assault? For some reason I don't think you would.

    EDIT: Bolded. Irony. Too. Strong.
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    (Original post by TolerantBeing)
    There can be no bias in the experience of distress considering it's a completely subjective state. If an individual claims to have experienced distress/stress at an event you have to take their word for it. Unless you had the equipment at hand to measure her physiological state at the appropriate time...


    In fact, it's you who is appearing rather biased, considering the OP stated explicitly that he was wrongly shouting at her because she was not in the wrong, yet you just said- it sounds like he was telling OP off for doing something wrong, OP got stroppy and tried to walk off. Not only have you completely disregard what the OP has told us, but your use of persuasive (and grammatically incorrect) language, such as 'got stroppy' suggests you are for some reason disagreeing with the OP because of your own bias.

    I also thinking you need to look up on assault in the workplace.
    Fine, perhaps bias was the wrong word. How about 'exaggeration' or possibly even 'lying'? We have no idea, and to take OP's word for it is completely one-sided, which could lead to the manager being unfairly treated (if he was innocent). I have seen teachers in my school cautioned or destroyed by students who claim that they have been caused 'severe emotional distress', even though they later admitted to lying, even joking about it.

    The OP stated they were not in the wrong, but how do we know? Maybe the OP refuses to acknowledge their fault, or tried to shift the blame? This is an internet forum, not a lie detector test, so I can't help but question the notion that a boss would become angry, shout at the OP and grab them if they had truly done nothing wrong. Thank you for bringing up my grammar, it is a sign of a strong argument when you can call another person's literacy levels into question.
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    (Original post by RollerBall)
    Guy A freaks out because thinks guy B has, wrongly, stolen his wallet after dropping it in the street. Guy A tries to grab guy B on the arm as he attempts to leave the discussion because he is pissed off and "distressed". Guy A stops after a few seconds when he realises guy B is a bigger guy than him and this isn't worth it, a moment of clarity if you will.

    Would you still reccomend that gentleman B pushes for assault? For some reason I don't think you would.

    EDIT: Bolded. Irony. Too. Strong.
    That's a completely different situation. Involving strangers I presume, where guy A is preventing a stranger who he thinks has stolen a personal possession from leaving. The reason for guy A using force is more understandable, preventing guy B from leaving and taking his wallet. Did the manager have an immediate need to prevent the OP from leaving his office?

    Also, you're manipulating the situation, purposely. In your scenario, the guy who is receiving the grabbing is a lot bigger than the guy who did the grabbing, it's the opposite in regards to the OP. In your situation, the guy who was grabbed is a lot bigger, and so likely to feel less threatened, do you think that applies to the OP as well? Your analogy is completely different.

    And it's recommend, not reccomend.
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    I had an argument with my manager the other day. The manager was shouting at me and I couldn't stand it so I calmly said that I needed to go to my place and left. But before I left, the manager grabbed me forcefully and forced me to stay in the office. I sad to let go and the manager only let go when people saw what has happened. I went back to my place feeling upset.

    Have reported it to the upper management but still feel lost. Please help : (
    Harassment whether sexual, rape or physical (assault) should be reported.
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    (Original post by BenAssirati)
    Fine, perhaps bias was the wrong word. How about 'exaggeration' or possibly even 'lying'? We have no idea, and to take OP's word for it is completely one-sided, which could lead to the manager being unfairly treated (if he was innocent). I have seen teachers in my school cautioned or destroyed by students who claim that they have been caused 'severe emotional distress', even though they later admitted to lying, even joking about it.

    The OP stated they were not in the wrong, but how do we know? Maybe the OP refuses to acknowledge their fault, or tried to shift the blame? This is an internet forum, not a lie detector test, so I can't help but question the notion that a boss would become angry, shout at the OP and grab them if they had truly done nothing wrong. Thank you for bringing up my grammar, it is a sign of a strong argument when you can call another person's literacy levels into question.

    But it's not our place to decide whether the OP is lying or not. We're just here to give her advice, not to question her morality and to try and deduce whether she's a liar.

    All I know is, if my manager was shouting at me, and grabbed me to prevent me from leaving when I wanted to, it would upset me. And I really can't imagine my manager, or any manager for that matter, doing such a thing. It's not normal, it's not right. So if she's telling the truth (doubt her as you will) then I think she has every right to do something about it. I know I would.

    The only reason I corrected you was because you do it all the time, so thought you would appreciate constructive criticism seeing as you so highly value the importance of correct grammar.
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    (Original post by RollerBall)
    Guy A freaks out because thinks guy B has, wrongly, stolen his wallet after dropping it in the street. Guy A tries to grab guy B on the arm as he attempts to leave the discussion because he is pissed off and "distressed". Guy A stops after a few seconds when he realises guy B is a bigger guy than him and this isn't worth it, a moment of clarity if you will.

    Would you still reccomend that gentleman B pushes for assault? For some reason I don't think you would.

    EDIT: Bolded. Irony. Too. Strong.
    If you (in the UK jurestriction) physically stop someone in the process of them committing a crime - depends on circumstances of-course- you are enacting what is called a citizens-arrest. You essentially have no right to do so but it would be classed as assisting the police maybe- the police would have to have been called! You are potentially opening yourself to being sued by the party that you have arrested as you are not the police- whom have the Queens Warrant to do so. Further the party whom you have arrested may counter-attack you in self-defense as they have every right to do so to protect their person- criminal or not. If more than two people are involved here then the crime of enterprise or affray is being committed by the parties involved.
    It is advisable therefore to always leave stopping someone to the proper authorities- the police- and you would assist them as an eye-witness. I am not a lawyer but that's how I see it.
    PS-same applies to bouncers and security guards in shops - they have no right at-all to lay a hand on you- if they do you can claim an assault.
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    (Original post by TolerantBeing)
    But it's not our place to decide whether the OP is lying or not. We're just here to give her advice, not to question her morality and to try and deduce whether she's a liar.

    All I know is, if my manager was shouting at me, and grabbed me to prevent me from leaving when I wanted to, it would upset me. And I really can't imagine my manager, or any manager for that matter, doing such a thing. It's not normal, it's not right. So if she's telling the truth (doubt her as you will) then I think she has every right to do something about it. I know I would.

    The only reason I corrected you was because you do it all the time, so thought you would appreciate constructive criticism seeing as you so highly value the importance of correct grammar.
    We are not here to offer OP advice, you might have posted here with that aim in mind, and that is very noble of you (not being sarcastic), I am here because I was interested in the thread, and then decided to question the OP as I cannot take this as the full truth. This is a public student forum, and the OP posted a public thread. They may have asked for advice, or even just have come to vent themselves, but that is not what the responses are limited to.

    Personally, if my manager was shouting at me (whether just or not) I would sit there and ride it out. If my manager was pissed off, the last thing I would want to do is shout back or attempt to walk off mid-rant, whether I was upset or not, as that would only make things worse.

    I attempt to pride myself on my ability to speak and type coherently, and since you put it so nicely, I will gratefully take that criticism. Thank you.
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    (Original post by BenAssirati)
    We are not here to offer OP advice, you might have posted here with that aim in mind, and that is very noble of you (not being sarcastic), I am here because I was interested in the thread, and then decided to question the OP as I cannot take this as the full truth. This is a public student forum, and the OP posted a public thread. They may have asked for advice, or even just have come to vent themselves, but that is not what the responses are limited to.

    Personally, if my manager was shouting at me (whether just or not) I would sit there and ride it out. If my manager was pissed off, the last thing I would want to do is shout back or attempt to walk off mid-rant, whether I was upset or not, as that would only make things worse.

    I attempt to pride myself on my ability to speak and type coherently, and since you put it so nicely, I will gratefully take that criticism. Thank you.
    He wanted free basic legal advice, this is pretty common on TSR, though usually posted in the legal forums.

    It doesn't serve any purpose for us to start playing at being a tribunal judge, as no one here has the power vested in them to grant judgment based on our conclusions.
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    Thanks.

    Would the situation that I posted be considered as a gross misconduct?



    Well, I have initiated a verbal complaint to the appropriate channel.
    Get it written. It will be taken more seriously if it is a written complaint. You could even just follow it up with an email describing what happened - that would be significantly better than what you have now.
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    Make a complaint on paper, make sure a paper trail exists.
    Maybe he just snapped and made an error of judgment but it needs to be on record in case he does it again or has a history of it
 
 
 
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