would you rather your child be bullied or be a bully Watch

joker12345
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#41
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#41
Be tbe bully. Assuming all other characteristics (ie intelligence etc) were the same in both scenarios. I've seen many intelligent high school bullies become the most successful of them all, because they're smart and they've got the 'alpha'/dominant character, once they grow out of all the bullying etc ofc.
I have been bullied and I feel like an absolute idiot for not standing up for myself more. And it was just generally awful. Why would I want my child to go through that?
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joker12345
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#42
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(Original post by daviem)
It's kinda shocking and saddening how many people would rather their child be the bully
Really? It shocks you that people don't want their child to feel sad, isolated, alone, possibly affected by it for years?
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Badshah
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#43
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#43
They would be the bully obviously.
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llys
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#44
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#44
(Original post by ttaylor17)
That's the question, what do you think?
I read something interesting today: apparently bullies and victims have very similar personality traits (narcissism, low self-esteem, neediness), so whether a child is one or the other just depends on the circumstances. In that case, being a victim does not make your child somehow "superior" to being a bully. And therefore, when faced with your choice, one should choose "bully", although the best indication of a good personality would be "neither".

The vulnerable victim is one typology associated with victimised individuals, but there is a growing body of evidence which suggests that victims share the same personality traits as perpetrators, leading to suggestions that perpetrators and victims can hold both roles.
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BobbieShamrock
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#45
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#45
(Original post by joker12345)
Really? It shocks you that people don't want their child to feel sad, isolated, alone, possibly affected by it for years?
Id rather that my child was unhappy than a bad person. (to an extent of course)


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daviem
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#46
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#46
(Original post by joker12345)
Really? It shocks you that people don't want their child to feel sad, isolated, alone, possibly affected by it for years?
I would always rather that whatever situation they were in, they were never in the wrong. They should be raised in a way that they don't feel the effect of what idiots say to them to an extreme where it upsets them, and they should also know how to deal with these situations (if they were being bullied at school for example, they should know to tell their teachers, and with good family support the problem can be solved, whilst they have throughout maintained being a good person, which affects the rest of their life much more importantly than being bullied would).
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Jgco2chem
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#47
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I'd rather my child be bullied because then they will grow up 10x faster
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Gax
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#48
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I was bullied so much I can't even bear the thought of fathering a child who will either go through what I went through or will inflict the kind of pain that I endured :unsure:
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anosmianAcrimony
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#49
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(Original post by thisistheend)
bully.

you must be superior to be the bully.
Perhaps physically superior, but being bullied is definitely morally superior to bullying.
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RayApparently
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#50
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#50
I want my children to be martyrs not murderers.
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anosmianAcrimony
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#51
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#51
(Original post by Alfissti)
The bully without a doubt.

One thing I always tell my kids, if someone calls them a name they don't like give that person a slap on the face, if that person doesn't stop slap the other side and break his or her nose. Also told the elder 2 daughters if ever some does any type of unwanted contact use that martial arts I had long trained them in and kick or knee those boys in the groin.

If that got them in trouble I will go to their school and solve it and if it requires some money then some money shall be paid.

The last 2 fights ended with 1 boy being hospitalized at the urology unit and the other crying like a baby after finding out he wasn't so tough after all.
http://www.thestudentroom.co.uk/atta...d=336759&stc=1
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TroyAndAbed
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#52
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#52
Bullied.

If I found out my kid was a bully I would smash all their personal possessions with a sledgehammer right in front of them.
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ttaylor17
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#53
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#53
(Original post by TroyAndAbed)
Bullied.

If I found out my kid was a bully I would smash all their personal possessions with a sledgehammer right in front of them.
I must say...I like that approach
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ttaylor17
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#54
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#54
(Original post by joker12345)
Be tbe bully. Assuming all other characteristics (ie intelligence etc) were the same in both scenarios. I've seen many intelligent high school bullies become the most successful of them all, because they're smart and they've got the 'alpha'/dominant character, once they grow out of all the bullying etc ofc.
I have been bullied and I feel like an absolute idiot for not standing up for myself more. And it was just generally awful. Why would I want my child to go through that?
Because bullying is wrong... its unnatural... and it's a person's way of showing his 'supposed' superiority...at the expense of others... why would you want your child to be that person
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ttaylor17
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#55
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#55
(Original post by Gax)
I was bullied so much I can't even bear the thought of fathering a child who will either go through what I went through or will inflict the kind of pain that I endured :unsure:
Wow. ..sorry
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Maudee4567
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#56
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I'd say bullied, then again I'm planning to have the eventual kids I'll have to learn martial arts and how to just ignore verbal abuse

I was bullied, I learned to defend myself for the few physical things (karateeeee), and then the verbal stuff was hard but in the end I think it made me stronger, and made me appreciate more the friends I actually have and also makes me sooooo glad that I wasn't like those people
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ttaylor17
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#57
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#57
(Original post by Maudee4567)
I'd say bullied, then again I'm planning to have the eventual kids I'll have to learn martial arts and how to just ignore verbal abuse

I was bullied, I learned to defend myself for the few physical things (karateeeee), and then the verbal stuff was hard but in the end I think it made me stronger, and made me appreciate more the friends I actually have and also makes me sooooo glad that I wasn't like those people
I think I'll have to adopt that approach
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joker12345
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(Original post by ttaylor17)
Because bullying is wrong... its unnatural... and it's a person's way of showing his 'supposed' superiority...at the expense of others... why would you want your child to be that person
I'm not sure about unnatural, certainly wrong. And I'd rather my child show their supposed superiority than inferiority. Most kids grow out of bullying, being bullied can scar people though. I'm not saying I'd want that, just prefer it to the other option.
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Dr DaMan
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(Original post by BobbieShamrock)
Last year at my college there was an incident where one guy gave another guy a 'dirty look' and he ended up getting stabbed for it. I wouldn't be surprised if your kids ended up like this.
You should teach them to stand up for themselves without violence or else someone could get seriously hurt. Your children might not always win the fight.


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Besides violence how do you expect someone being bullied to stop the bully doing so?
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BobbieShamrock
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(Original post by Dr DaMan)
Besides violence how do you expect someone being bullied to stop the bully doing so?
Tell a teacher or parents? Show the bully that you don't care? Idk but the person I replied to was saying he'd encourage his kids to resort to violence even if the 'bully' just called them a name. He seemed proud that one of his children had hospitalised someone.
I'm not saying if you're physically attacked just stand there, obviously defend yourself, but there are usually better alternatives to violence.
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