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    This is so exaggerated.
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    This is so exaggerated.
    Your reasoning being ?


    Posted from TSR Mobile
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    (Original post by xylas)
    What did daisychain say that you don't agree with? Do you disagree that OP was wrong? Do you hit your mother?
    OP has explained in detail about abusive behavior she has been receiving from her mother, the events leading up to her defending herself are as follows

    '10 minuets before that, she had pushed me, and slapped me across the face. My mum has beaten me up multiple times', 'She followed me out, then hit me, and tried to smash up the things in my bedroom.'

    This type of thing in my country would see the girl taken into care and the parent prosecuted.

    daisychains advice was flippant, causal, judgmental and insensitive towards OP. 'consider counseling- smiley face'.
    In the circumstances described , it is totally understandable what caused her to have this reaction to her "mother".
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    she would of been hit, long long time ago.

    your actions are justified and you need to get out there
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    (Original post by SuperWolfPaws)


    OP has explained in detail about abusive behavior she has been receiving from her mother, the events leading up to her defending herself are as follows

    '10 minuets before that, she had pushed me, and slapped me across the face. My mum has beaten me up multiple times', 'She followed me out, then hit me, and tried to smash up the things in my bedroom.'

    This type of thing in my country would see the girl taken into care and the parent prosecuted.

    daisychains advice was flippant, causal, judgmental and insensitive towards OP. 'consider counseling- smiley face'.
    In the circumstances described , it is totally understandable what caused her to have this reaction to her "mother".
    Well said.


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    (Original post by Crumpet1)
    Can't believe nobody has told the OP to call Childline for advice. 0800 1111. Do it now.

    And the advice above about trying to see whether there is a relative you could live with is also very good.

    OP, this is a serious and dangerous situation. You are in physical danger and you are also being psychologically abused. You must act, and you must speak to someone that you trust. Don't delay.
    Have to agree with this. If your post is true, you need help. No child deserves to be treated like that, by anyone, least of all their own parent. You are being abused, physically and emotionally. Do what Crumpet1 suggests - phone Childline for advice, now. If you can call from outside the house, or when you know you will be alone for a while, better.
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    wow, so many comments so I don't know if mine will be noticed but this needs to stop, she may be your parent but this is abuse. There's no beating around the bush at that fact. You need to get away and from her, either call the police or stay with someone you trust. You don't deserve this and you can't justify this childish behaviour! She's supposed to be the adult in this case but she's acting stupid and pathetic. I would never hurt my children like that. This is not discipline it is ASSAULT don't make the mistake of mixing those two up! It's gonna be hard and scary but you can get through this and let it make you stronger!
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    Welcome Squad
    Definitely deserved.
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    (Original post by SuperWolfPaws)


    OP has explained in detail about abusive behavior she has been receiving from her mother, the events leading up to her defending herself are as follows

    '10 minuets before that, she had pushed me, and slapped me across the face. My mum has beaten me up multiple times', 'She followed me out, then hit me, and tried to smash up the things in my bedroom.'

    This type of thing in my country would see the girl taken into care and the parent prosecuted.

    daisychains advice was flippant, causal, judgmental and insensitive towards OP. 'consider counseling- smiley face'.
    In the circumstances described , it is totally understandable what caused her to have this reaction to her "mother".
    Fair enough you have justified yourself well. I disagree with you but I respect your opinion.
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    It's understandable that some people would say this is my fault. But i had enough, im not proud of what i did, but im not proud of the fact, that i could look down at my body, see scars and marks, and know that my mother gave them to me. Shes my mother isnt she? Shes meant to be protecting me not harming me. She does have anger issues, and is bipolar, as a child, she was abused herself by her own mother. But it doesn't justify me being her punching bag, and every-time i think about her, it gets me upset. We could be having a normal discussion, and i could still look at her, and just hate her, im always angry at her, from the things shes said to me. Ive gotten angry before, many times, id just deal with it differently, but this time, i exploded, and she does push and push and push for a reaction. And i stupidly let her win, so shes telling everyone i abuse her, and my dad said " thats life, shutup and deal with it, i dont care". I cant deal with it anymore, im going to lose it, if i haven't already, i cant call the police on my mother, as my dad said, they will just end up arresting me because i hit her. I honestly dont want to be alive, im trying so hard just to think straight.


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    • #3
    #3

    (Original post by HelenTheCupcake)
    Im just afraid ill be put into care or that she will be put in jail.

    I dont feel safe, shes tried to cut my hair off before cause i talked back, and pinned me down and tried to cut it all off, but i escaped and ran off.

    I feel so alone, my family think im a horrible person, and dont even know what she said to me, but they do know she has beaten me up multiple times, but they say its normal, and that i overreact about it. No, it hurts, she leaves bruises and cuts, has anyone ever experienced this with their mothers? Am i being dramtic? I feel like its my fault, well, it is, i just wanna be happy, id do anything to have a normal life, but i dunno if its normal or not


    Posted from TSR Mobile
    Honey it's NOT normal and you're not alone. That's one thing you should know is that there are so many victims- or shall I say, survivors of domestic violence. You feel guilty because despite everything, you still love that person and they're family. And yet they don't feel guilty doing that to you. I know where you're coming from, reading this was eery as I felt like I was reading through all my own pain and hurt. I just wanna let you know it DOES get better, so don't do anything you'll regret! And seek help, you cannot fight this by yourself, do the right thing for yourself and for your future. And don't give up! You're more thank welcome to talk to me if you want my advice (here hopefully this is helpful!) and I'll talk to you without hesitation! ☺
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    Oh honey I just want to give you a massive hug and take you away from this god-awful situation!! I know this may not be any kind of consolation but you are not alone and there are hundreds of teenagers just like you who unfortunately suffer abuse at the hands of their 'parents', but of course what you are gonig through is not normal.

    Like someone else said, obtain some sought of video and/or audio evidence if this happens again but instead of threatening her with this that'll you go to the authorities if she doesn't change, just take it to whoever straight away! Do you not have one friend at school you could talk to, or are you the target of bullying by most people? If so, if anyone on here has reached out to talk to you, please have the courage to talk to them as I hate to think of you not seeking advice or comfort and just being alone with suicidal thoughts.

    PLEASE PLEASE PLEEEEASE call childline or the NSPCC sometime today or by Sunday at the latest, the sooner the better

    I'm sorry to say but your mother, and father to a major degree, are despicable people who do not deserve to call themselves your parents or receive any kind of love you may understandably have for them. A parent is someone who, like you said, is someone who is meant to look out for you and protect you from harm. And no matter what issues you're mother has, that gives her NO RIGHT WHATSOEVER TO TREAT YOU LIKE ANYTHING LESS THAN HER CHILD.

    Like I said, talk to people on here or school or childline(ASAP) or the police, because as daunting as talking to the police may be, you wouldn't want to be talking to them facing a murder charge because you were in fear for your life and you had no reason other than to to kill the *****!

    Sending out so much love, hugs and kisses to you :console::heart::kissing2:
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    (Original post by HelenTheCupcake)
    It's understandable that some people would say this is my fault. But i had enough, im not proud of what i did, but im not proud of the fact, that i could look down at my body, see scars and marks, and know that my mother gave them to me. Shes my mother isnt she? Shes meant to be protecting me not harming me. She does have anger issues, and is bipolar, as a child, she was abused herself by her own mother. But it doesn't justify me being her punching bag, and every-time i think about her, it gets me upset. We could be having a normal discussion, and i could still look at her, and just hate her, im always angry at her, from the things shes said to me. Ive gotten angry before, many times, id just deal with it differently, but this time, i exploded, and she does push and push and push for a reaction. And i stupidly let her win, so shes telling everyone i abuse her, and my dad said " thats life, shutup and deal with it, i dont care". I cant deal with it anymore, im going to lose it, if i haven't already, i cant call the police on my mother, as my dad said, they will just end up arresting me because i hit her. I honestly dont want to be alive, im trying so hard just to think straight.


    Posted from TSR Mobile
    It sounds like your father is almost as bad as your mother,
    don't listen to them, they are trying to manipulate you into thinking you are the problem.
    They know what they have done and they don't want it to get out.
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    (Original post by HelenTheCupcake)
    It's understandable that some people would say this is my fault. But i had enough, im not proud of what i did, but im not proud of the fact, that i could look down at my body, see scars and marks, and know that my mother gave them to me. Shes my mother isnt she? Shes meant to be protecting me not harming me. She does have anger issues, and is bipolar, as a child, she was abused herself by her own mother. But it doesn't justify me being her punching bag, and every-time i think about her, it gets me upset. We could be having a normal discussion, and i could still look at her, and just hate her, im always angry at her, from the things shes said to me. Ive gotten angry before, many times, id just deal with it differently, but this time, i exploded, and she does push and push and push for a reaction. And i stupidly let her win, so shes telling everyone i abuse her, and my dad said " thats life, shutup and deal with it, i dont care". I cant deal with it anymore, im going to lose it, if i haven't already, i cant call the police on my mother, as my dad said, they will just end up arresting me because i hit her. I honestly dont want to be alive, im trying so hard just to think straight.


    Posted from TSR Mobile
    this isn't normal and should never be normal and your father is just as bad for letting it happen and if you do phone the police you have evidence, your scars and bruises are more than enough, your father has threatened to turn you in? he's just as much of a coward as your mother and is neglecting you, you need to show people those scars and prove that she's the one abusing you, she wont be happy until you're dead so get help ASAP this is not a suggestion this is an order from a friend who wants you alive
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    Oh and to the idiots on her saying that 'you shouldn't have hit her she's your mother' 'my mums hit me when I was younger and I'd never hit her back' 'blah blah blah.....you're just as bad as her......blah blah blah', you make me sick and you need to seriously evaluate your life if you think that this kind of thing that her 'mother' is doing to her child is acceptable or something that doesn't warrant retaliation.

    WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU INSENSITIVE PEOPLE, CAN'T YOU SEE SHE IS HURTING AND INDEED OF SOME REASSURANCE AND ADVICE, NOT THE B.S ADVICE YOU'RE GIVING HER!?!?!

    Talking to this monster of a woman obviously isn't going solve anything, apart from further emotional abuse and self-loathing.

    Oh, and it doesn't matter if it's her parent so she shouldn't hit back, respect works both ways and you don't automatically deserve it because you're a parent! You need to show your child that you have some form of respect for them too, at least enough respect not to abuse them everyday......and I don't mean your typical slap on the bum beats you'd get when you're like 7 or so.

    Seriously people, get your **** together or just piss off!
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    (Original post by HelenTheCupcake)
    It's understandable that some people would say this is my fault. But i had enough, im not proud of what i did, but im not proud of the fact, that i could look down at my body, see scars and marks, and know that my mother gave them to me. Shes my mother isnt she? Shes meant to be protecting me not harming me. She does have anger issues, and is bipolar, as a child, she was abused herself by her own mother. But it doesn't justify me being her punching bag, and every-time i think about her, it gets me upset. We could be having a normal discussion, and i could still look at her, and just hate her, im always angry at her, from the things shes said to me. Ive gotten angry before, many times, id just deal with it differently, but this time, i exploded, and she does push and push and push for a reaction. And i stupidly let her win, so shes telling everyone i abuse her, and my dad said " thats life, shutup and deal with it, i dont care". I cant deal with it anymore, im going to lose it, if i haven't already, i cant call the police on my mother, as my dad said, they will just end up arresting me because i hit her. I honestly dont want to be alive, im trying so hard just to think straight.

    Posted from TSR Mobile
    I wonder if you're going to take any advice from here... but at the very least you should know this: How your mother behaves is HER fault, not yours. Like you said, your mother has serious mental issues i.e. bipolar. That has nothing to do with you.

    EDIT:
    Just to clarify, I'm not saying the mental condition is the mother's fault.... I meant her overall behaviour. Not all of her behaviour can be attributed to bipolar tbh (even though it is affecting her to an extent).

    My point is that she's doing this because she has her own issues and is taking all her anger out on you. It's not fair but it should help you not to think so horribly of yourself that you are worthy of her hatred.
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    (Original post by HelenTheCupcake)
    It's understandable that some people would say this is my fault. But i had enough, im not proud of what i did, but im not proud of the fact, that i could look down at my body, see scars and marks, and know that my mother gave them to me. Shes my mother isnt she? Shes meant to be protecting me not harming me. She does have anger issues, and is bipolar, as a child, she was abused herself by her own mother. But it doesn't justify me being her punching bag, and every-time i think about her, it gets me upset. We could be having a normal discussion, and i could still look at her, and just hate her, im always angry at her, from the things shes said to me. Ive gotten angry before, many times, id just deal with it differently, but this time, i exploded, and she does push and push and push for a reaction. And i stupidly let her win, so shes telling everyone i abuse her, and my dad said " thats life, shutup and deal with it, i dont care". I cant deal with it anymore, im going to lose it, if i haven't already, i cant call the police on my mother, as my dad said, they will just end up arresting me because i hit her. I honestly dont want to be alive, im trying so hard just to think straight.


    Posted from TSR Mobile
    You absolutely will not get arrested for hitting her. You need to get the authorities involved, you need protection.
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    (Original post by Ankabout)
    I wonder if you're going to take any advice from here... but at the very least you should know this: How your mother behaves is HER fault, not yours. Like you said, your mother has serious mental issues i.e. bipolar. That has nothing to do with you.
    It's not her mum's fault that she has bipolar, either, though I see your point - it's definitely not Helen's fault either way.

    I cannot believe the number of people who are saying things like "I can't believe your mum would do something like that unprovoked" or "just do what she says" - you people need to get your heads out of your arses. As someone who's worked with abused children, this can and does happen, completely unprovoked, and reactions like yours make it harder for abused children to speak out.

    OP: please speak to a teacher, or Childline, or the NSPCC, or maybe a friend's parent, a neighbour, or a relative of yours who you trust. Your dad is trying to cover his own arse by suggesting that the police will just arrest you if you speak to them; if you're in the UK at least, they are obliged to take your complaint seriously and investigate it, and he knows that. Can I ask whereabouts you are?

    This is absolutely not normal, and your reaction was completely understandable in the context you've given. You shouldn't be being treated like this, and it's not your fault that you are.
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    (Original post by *pitseleh*)
    It's not her mum's fault that she has bipolar, either, though I see your point - it's definitely not Helen's fault either way.
    Ok, I understand.

    EDIT:
    Just to clarify, I'm not saying the mental condition is the mother's fault.... I meant her overall behaviour. Not all of her behaviour can be attributed to bipolar tbh (even though it is affecting her to an extent). The mother is still accountable for her actions.

    My point was that the mother has her own issues (e.g. getting abused by her own mother and continuing the cycle) which have absolutely nothing to do with the OP.
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    (Original post by HelenTheCupcake)
    I know its not justified, hitting the one who gave you life is morally wrong, im aware. I snapped, i honestly did. I have been bullied my whole life, and my own mother said " why do you think you get bullied? No one wants you" and " why do you think you dont have a boyfriend? Even with makeup on your still worthless". At that point, i lost it, 10 minuets before that, she had pushed me, and slapped me across the face. My mum has beaten me up multiple times ( she has anger issues ) and takes it out on me. Im moving school, because i was being bullied in my last one, she said because i didn't clean her room, or the kitchen she was going to cancel the application for my new school, as soon as she said that, i looked at her for a few seconds, and left the room, i was hurt by the fact she would even consider that. She followed me out, then hit me, and tried to smash up the things in my bedroom. I pushed her out and stood against the door to stop her from destroying everything ( i paint and she wanted to destroy my sets) then she said shes calling the school to cancel the application, i followed her out and told her to stop, she proceeded to insult me. I tried to
    Take my own life earlier on last year, and also suffer from bulimia, she mocked me, and told me I couldn't even get killing myself right and laughed, she then said i should eat less cause im fat. At that point, i ripped down the blinds and smashed a plate ( i was trying so hard not to take out my anger on my mum) but then, she said ( laughing ) your crazy, no one wants u, and everyone will see you for the dirt you are) at that point, i pulled her hair and hit her, while this was happening she was laughing and calling me weak. I called her a cruel **** and walked away (in tears ) i stayed in my room, when my dad came back, she told him " Helen just beat me up, all because i told her to clean the kitchen" now my entire family refuse to talk to me, im ashamed, but, its been 14 years of torture, emotionally, several beatings i have received from her, it all came out, but at the end of it, i still love her, and i wish i didn't so much.


    Posted from TSR Mobile
    I know, it hurts. However, in all honesty, it sounds like she deserved it. Don't listen to her comments about you! You must be worth 10 times her!!
    Ps: The next time she tries this, threaten her with the police!
 
 
 
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