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    I thought people would be more understanding. Turns out I was wrong.
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    Nothing I can think of.
    What about writing? You could write about your experiences with your diagnosis as part of a blog, which you could advertise to people generally or medical students that may be interested etc.

    Exercise and sport?

    Learn new hobbies: such as guitar or piano, new languages, computer programming?

    Take part in online courses to further develop yourself in something which you hold interest. You could even try going to college.
    • #2
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    (Original post by Dani California)
    I've been through the same thing, and I wish someone had given me the same advice. Everyone is offering her sympathy, and it will only encourage the idea that she needs it.
    Look I dont know what lead you to become depressed but look anywhere and they certainly don't advise a kick up the ass, in fact they specifically advise against it. 'Snap out of it' 'get your act together' mentality doesn't work. These people need support in order that they can help themselves. Whenever people tried the kick up the ass approach with me in order to get me to make an effort it lasted a really short time before I began to feel like even worse a failure for failing the person who had such high expectations.

    The process is slow and gradual if you want to make any long term recovery. Of course self help techniques matter but they need additional support to implement them depending on the level of depression they're suffering.

    You're approach really is a cop out
    • #2
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    I was just looking for some advice regarding my friend, not sympathy. I didnt need to be told I need a kick up my arse. Get a kick up your arse yourself.
    :rolleyes:
    Agreed. Seriously will someone kick her up the arse!
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    (Original post by hellodave5)
    What about writing? You could write about your experiences with your diagnosis as part of a blog, which you could advertise to people generally or medical students that may be interested etc.

    Exercise and sport?

    Learn new hobbies: such as guitar or piano, new languages, computer programming?

    Take part in online courses to further develop yourself in something which you hold interest. You could even try going to college.
    Unfortunately im in such a state that its impossible for my brain to learn anything new. Im already doing a three week drama course which for me is already a lot.
    • #1
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    Look I dont know what lead you to become depressed but look anywhere and they certainly don't advise a kick up the ass, in fact they specifically advise against it. 'Snap out of it' 'get your act together' mentality doesn't work. These people need support in order that they can help themselves. Whenever people tried the kick up the ass approach with me in order to get me to make an effort it lasted a really short time before I began to feel like even worse a failure for failing the person who had such high expectations.

    The process is slow and gradual if you want to make any long term recovery. Of course self help techniques matter but they need additional support to implement them depending on the level of depression they're suffering.

    You're approach really is a cop out
    Thank you for your support.
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    Unfortunately im in such a state that its impossible for my brain to learn anything new. Im already doing a three week drama course which for me is already a lot.
    Well done on that! That's fine. Just keep recommendations in mind. Try and keep progressing incrementally. I'm sure you will manage fine. Keep seeing someone for advice if possible too
    • #2
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    (Original post by Dani California)
    This person has no additional support. Unless she joins a support group I guess. Call me a cop out all you want. It worked for me, and I'm happy now. I don't need to read about how "they" don't advise it. It's behind me now.
    Well good for you. Whatever method you used clearly didn't do any good for your empathy though did it. Think we should leave it there.
    • #2
    #2

    (Original post by Anonymous)
    Thank you for your support.
    You're welcome! I don't know why this thread seems to have attracted such arse holes but it's a shame because a lot of the advice surrounding these issues is usually quite helpful and supportive on here.
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    You're welcome! I don't know why this thread seems to have attracted such arse holes but it's a shame because a Iot of the advice surrounding these issues is usually quite helpful and supportive on here.
    I dont know why either. I can only deduce that im not really the cause of her annoyance, there must be something else bothering her, what that is only she knows.
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    I dont know why either. I can only deduce that im not really the cause of her annoyance, there must be something else bothering her, what that is only she knows.
    Clearly, whatever it is she's definitely not fine. Some serious issues there.
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    Clearly, whatever it is she's definitely not fine. Some serious issues there.
    Agreed.
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    First of all, I think all of the problems you are having is due to you being pessimistic in life. Try thinking positive, you have a life better than a lot more unfortunate than you, when you think of those less fortunate, you will be grateful for the things that you have in your life. You are a person loved by people around you, like your family and even the friend you have mentioned. I think you should be proud and happy of her achievements in life and could learn from her being positive and work hard on the life you want to achieve, without making any excuses. I know its hard but with your hard work of rebuilding yourself, there will be times that other difficulties will get in your way, but there will always be a bright future in front of you.
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    (Original post by franditella)
    First of all, I think all of the problems you are having is due to you being pessimistic in life. Try thinking positive, you have a life better than a lot more unfortunate than you, when you think of those less fortunate, you will be grateful for the things that you have in your life. You are a person loved by people around you, like your family and even the friend you have mentioned. I think you should be proud and happy of her achievements in life and could learn from her being positive and work hard on the life you want to achieve, without making any excuses. I know its hard but with your hard work of rebuilding yourself, there will be times that other difficulties will get in your way, but there will always be a bright future in front of you.
    First of all I know youre trying to be helpful so thanks for that.
    That being said, I think im a bit beyond the "think positive and imagine the starving children in Africa" technique. Its a bit of a misconception that thinking of other peoples suffering can relieve your own.
    But I do acknowledge that helping other people can often make you feel better about yourself. Im just not in a position to do that right now.
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    First of all can we stop the bickering please, also any horrible or unhelpful posts will get removed and most likely warned, bullying is not going to be tolerated, thanks.
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    You don't judge a giraffe by its ability to fly, so you can't measure your success by hers. I think you should keep her as a friend for inspiration.
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    I suffered from depression for years. I cut a lot of people out of my life and the people that were still in my life did their best to destroy me even more. I felt so alone. I wanted to die so many times. I got into drugs. My degree was suffering immensely. Any chance of a future career was suffering immensely. I was totally self destructing.
    I was on medication and in therapy, which took the edge off, even though I knew you have said none of it helps whatsoever to you.

    You're probably going to totally dismiss what I say, not take it into account and even go as far as saying I'm insensitive. One day I woke up and knew I didn't want to continue like this anymore. When it comes to mental illness, there's only so far that people can go to help you. You have to toughen up and help yourself. It's hell. But I knew I couldn't stay in bed day after day anymore and wallow in self pity. I forced myself and dragged myself out. I started out small. Doing a bit of work. Applying for a few small part time jobs. The sense of achievement you will get after this really will boost you.

    I also tried meditation, yoga, read a lot into philosophy such as The Secret. I changed my thinking from negative and self doom to positive and optimistic. I came across people who influenced me positively.

    I'm not being insensitive but what do you want? What do you expect? Do you want to be one of the small statistics where everything fails you and you just wither away and die young, tragically? If not, then do something about it. I'm not going to wrap you up in cotton wool and tell you it's such a shame you are ill, which it is, but that won't really help you. There's only so many times when you can victimise yourself, attack those who give you tough love, be over defenceless and make excuses of why you can't live. Take some responsibility. Beat this disease. I won't lie, it's the hardest thing you'll ever do. It will be exhausting, take a lot of determination and motivation, be hell but it can be done. Many people are proof of that. If you don't, you'll just die. And you'll die with a wasted life.

    Don't cut this old friend out of your life. Like you said she's the only one who bothers to check in with you once in a while. She clearly cares as she's attempting to help you. Don't compare your life to hers. You are two different people who will always have two very different lives. Comparing your life to someone you think has it good will never help you. And who knows what's happening behind closed doors? People on the outside think I have an amazing life but right now, I'm going through something that's tearing me up.

    How about send some CVs out, even if they don't amount to anything? Explore talents you have? If you don't think you have talents, then this is a time to discover them. Be creative. Paint, write, play an instrument. Meet up with this old friend, get out the house and refresh yourself. In the future she could introduce you to her social circle. What about studying for a degree or qualification at home? Go for a walk. Get a pet. Just do something. If you refuse to do something then how can you ever expect your life to improve? Sometimes we have to work to get life, everything doesn't always come to us freely. Go out there, prove everyone wrong and beat this soul sucking disease. Live a good life because we get one.
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    (Original post by Rock Fan)
    First of all can we stop the bickering please, also any horrible or unhelpful posts will get removed and most likely warned, bullying is not going to be tolerated, thanks.
    Thanks
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    First of all I know youre trying to be helpful so thanks for that.
    That being said, I think im a bit beyond the "think positive and imagine the starving children in Africa" technique. Its a bit of a misconception that thinking of other peoples suffering can relieve your own.
    But I do acknowledge that helping other people can often make you feel better about yourself. Im just not in a position to do that right now.
    It is not thinking about others suffering can relieve your own, it is thinking of the things that you have and feeling grateful that you do. Like those people in abused families or orphans that have no one beside them. But be greatful you have a shelter over your head and a father that loves you.
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    For my own sake, I cut off friends I know I'm jealous of. Because I can't stop thinking about how greater their success is compared to mine and it makes me really sad and I feel bad about myself. Even when I don't think about them, they'll post something on facebook showing off how great their lives are. I can't deal with that.
 
 
 
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