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How do you react when you're dumped? Watch

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    (Original post by Lulalou)
    I think some people just choose to disconnect as they can't deal with how strong the feelings are. That's what I usually do when I'm in pain, I suddenly just don't care and nearly nothing can make me care again for a while. Though I've never been dumped. I've only had a few relationships and they have all had quite complicated breakups, one was mutual, and one was dragged out for years, and eventually I just got away from him with the help of my boyfriend at the moment. Though I'm thinking of breaking up with him so if quite like to know the answer to this myself.


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    Or, you know, it's just genuinely not a devastating experience.

    It's one of three options:

    1. She 'disconnects'.
    2. She fakes being cool and keeps her 'grief' for herself.
    3. She actually isn't that bothered in the grand scheme of things at all. Sucks for OP's ego but whatevs.


    My response is usually number 2 or 3.
    If I get dumped it tends to be number 2, I'll allow myself to wallow a little, have one reasonable cry over it in private, and then move on because if it's over it's over. Publicly I'm as if nothing happened.
    I bounce back pretty quickly anyway so it quickly turns into a less common but still notable reaction, number 3...

    ...Sometimes I just don;t care that much at all, or at least not enough for tears. This tends to be more likely if I'm doing the dumping. It's my decision, I thus own that decision. Crying and being overly upset is even less justifiable then because I was the one to initiate the break-up, and thus I have my reasons and tend to try and just embrace the end of the relationship. Nothing lasts forever!


    Can't say I really understand the people who just fall apart and can barely function for weeks to months afterwards, but different strokes for different folks.
    I had one relationship that stuck with me for a long time, but I dumped her, and was more of a "what could have been" rather than misery and depression and generally being 'cut up'. Broke up because of circumstances outside of either of our control.
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    I had a threesome with Ben and Jerry
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    You were the one who dumped her, and you're disappointed that she didn't fight for it? What would the point in that be if you knew you wanted the relationship to end? Would it have made you feel good if she'd have begged you to take her back, as this would give you another chance to rub in the fact that she has no chance?

    In all seriousness though, if it was me, it would depend the reason he gave. If I thought there was something that could be done - and I wanted to - I would try. If not, then I would try to retain my dignity and walk away.
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    when ive been dumped by boys it never really bothered me, I guess cause I never really felt any attachment to them in the first place. my last break up though it really hurt when she dumped me, tbh I still miss her :sadnod:


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    Last time I got dumped I went out the night after with my mates and got way too drunk. But apart from that I just try to crack on, bigger and better things, sh*t happens and all that :cool:

    Caught up with one of my ex's 3 months after I broke up with her, turns out in the time we'd been apart she'd got hooked on cocaine, meth, speed, NOS, ketamine and every other drug under the sun and was taking them every night. May have felt slightly guilty the break-up was the catalyst for this...



    (Original post by channies)
    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vg2YcHzf20k I send them this song
    Personally I prefer this:

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JT_rBXd6Gzs
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    (Original post by ChaoticButterfly)
    I have obviously left you speechless. You got to go out with me now. Dems the rules.
    . . .You go out with me now. . .
    That's how I 'asked' my current g/f out, hurr durr lol.
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    (Original post by JoeL1994)



    Personally I prefer this:

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JT_rBXd6Gzs

    It's a good choice, then follow it up with this

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dZLfasMPOU4

    that should do the trick
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    (Original post by Baloney)
    I'm interested to know how people react when they are 'dumped', the reason I ask is that I recently broke up with my girlfriend of 4 years and her response shocked me, she acted as if she didn't care. Whether this was just a visage to cover how she really felt, I don't know. But it wasn't an easy break up on my behalf, it took a lot of thought and guts to do. (Baring in mind we had been together for 4 years, you'd have thought she'd have shown a little more emotion and fight)


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    I did that stupid thing of begging them, although you just lose self respect as nothing will change their mind. Act fine in front of them then get really drunk and cry to my friends haha still sad
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    (Original post by channies)
    It's a good choice, then follow it up with this

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dZLfasMPOU4

    that should do the trick
    Or for seasonal break ups

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5IYnu2WeDBA
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    Last August my 4 and a half relationship ended totally out of the blue for me, and I was lost. I cried and moped around for a few weeks, and then realised that I was better off. I've done so much more with myself these past few months, had better health/fitness, and just generally feel free.

    So, to begin with it massively sucked (didn't help that he got in a new relationship just a month down the line...), but I picked myself up and just got on with life.
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    When I was dumped, I did my best to act fine in front of her (we had the same circle of friends). But the first week I didn't eat and drank a lot, but it got easier and easier. The first month I occasionally broke down to friends and she probably knows that. I think your ex is acting a little like this, I tried not to let on how bad it was, to keep my dignity I guess, I imagine she's trying to hide how much its hurting so you don't see her at her worst. Or she was planning to break up with you and was spared the hassle. Either one
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    (Original post by JoeL1994)
    Or for seasonal break ups

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5IYnu2WeDBA

    Hahaa, that one's definitely the winner!
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    hmmmmm, in my adult life Ive been dumped twice and been the dumper once.

    The first time I was an absolute wreck, lived in a bottle for six months, bemoaned my fate and even though she cheated on me and messed my head up in ways i cant begin to describe i wanted her back,

    the second time - kind of relieved. I remember when I came home from work when she had moved out of our flat. All her stuff was gone and I knew that now the dust was settling after a very rocky breakup and my life could be put back together. I was glad it was over in many regards.
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    I turned very self-destructive and started a relationship with somebody I shouldn't have straight after the end of a four year relationship. (Note to all of you - hooking up with a friend will NOT help you get over your ex and will ultimately ruin a friendship in the process - something I am still extremely sad about as he was a very good friend). The second break up I had was only after a two month relationship and I just sulked for a few days and got on with it. It's quite bizarre as I'm usually not a self destructive person, I'm usually quite together.
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    It depends how much I actually cared about the person. I actually haven't been dumped it mostly has been the other way round, but if I am hurt by someone I care about, I get a sharp pain in my chest and it feels like ****. But with being rejected a tub of Ben and Jerry's and a movie gets me over it.
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    (Original post by M.revision)
    The dumbest way I could tbh. Begged and begged. 🙈
    Someone did this with me. And wondered why I was pissed off with him.
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    My first girlfriend dumped me when I was 15 and I was devastated. Her shagging one of my friends soon after didn't help the grieving process. In hindsight the experience made me more cynical about relationships and prevented me from getting over attached to anyone in my later teens and early twenties. I'm in a happy relationship now though.
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    GG.
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    *Doesn't do anything in front of ex then locks herself in her room and eats Ben and Jerry's while throwing knives at the ex's picture and crying to my mates on the phone
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    (Original post by Baloney)
    I'm interested to know how people react when they are 'dumped', the reason I ask is that I recently broke up with my girlfriend of 4 years and her response shocked me, she acted as if she didn't care. Whether this was just a visage to cover how she really felt, I don't know. But it wasn't an easy break up on my behalf, it took a lot of thought and guts to do. (Baring in mind we had been together for 4 years, you'd have thought she'd have shown a little more emotion and fight)


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    I get angry more than sad.
 
 
 
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