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    (Original post by amylouisenic)
    Yes that's true, those vows are outdated but fidelity (in my opinion) is the one constant.

    No idea about divorce rates, and that may well be true but it's better to be divorced than stay in a marriage that you're not happy in.

    Life after 35?? 35 is young! Will definitely not be a cat lady at 35.

    but you enjoy dying alone, after spending all your money on buying young girls drinks and whatever else they can squeeze out of you, and having no family of your own to speak of.

    There's more to life than sex (although it's pretty ****ing amazing), and I hope you find it one day

    Don't give a toss about family life, I never had a happy home I grew up in anyway, it was absolutely terrible. So, I don't miss what I never had.

    Yeah, vanity, achievement, greed. I don't find solace in other human beings, so I doubt being under the same roof as a woman for the rest of my life will really help. I'm mentally distant in that regard and don't really feel much satisfaction outside sex because everything is never permanent/really real so I don't take it seriously. It's all a chemical reaction in the brain and has no basis in destiny. I certainly would not make important life decisions based on my 'feelings'.
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    (Original post by amylouisenic)
    Yes that's true, those vows are outdated but fidelity (in my opinion) is the one constant.

    No idea about divorce rates, and that may well be true but it's better to be divorced than stay in a marriage that you're not happy in.

    Life after 35?? 35 is young! Will definitely not be a cat lady at 35.

    but you enjoy dying alone, after spending all your money on buying young girls drinks and whatever else they can squeeze out of you, and having no family of your own to speak of.

    There's more to life than sex (although it's pretty ****ing amazing), and I hope you find it one day
    It's not outdated at all.

    It's a simple tradeoff. A man can get a beautiful young woman regardless of his age. Women cannot generally attract good men after 35 or so.

    You want me to be faithful to you, even though I no longer find you attractive? Then be mine, look up to me, and serve me. Show me why I married you: your humility, your submissiveness and your respect for me. Otherwise, I have little interest in catering to your ego. I don't owe you anything. Everything in life is a transaction, and love does not justify a one sided transaction.
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    (Original post by Tom_Ford)
    Don't give a toss about family life, I never had a happy home I grew up in anyway, it was absolutely terrible. So, I don't miss what I never had.

    Yeah, vanity, achievement, greed. I don't find solace in other human beings, so I doubt being under the same roof as a woman for the rest of my life will really help. I'm mentally distant in that regard and don't really feel much satisfaction outside sex because everything is never permanent/really real so I don't take it seriously. It's all a chemical reaction in the brain and has no basis in destiny. I certainly would not make important life decisions based on my 'feelings'.
    MGTOW might interest you.
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    (Original post by 41b)
    You want me to be faithful to you, even though I no longer find you attractive? Then be mine, look up to me, and serve me. Show me why I married you: your humility, your submissiveness and your respect for me.
    :rofl2:
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    The false assumption ab initio is that it's so easy for a married bloke to one day off the cuff suddenly drown himself in good looking young women.

    Unless he is obscenely wealthy, it's going to be a struggle.

    15+ years of marriage will have eroded his game (if he ever had one).

    It would be like your dad walking into the union on a Wednesday night and expecting to leave with success.
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    (Original post by JokerGirl)
    But if he loved his wife, he wouldn't cheat. Loads of people can offer something that your partner can't (money, sex, etc) but you're with them because you love them.
    Loads of people can offer you something but they aren't.
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    (Original post by JokerGirl)
    If they're not happy they should leave, unless they've discussed it with their partner and they're cool with it,

    Just because the sex ins't good is no excuse to leave. You can't have the best of both worlds, either you love the person you're with and respect them enough not to cheat or you don't and you should leave.

    But this goes for anyone regardless of gender and it's just my opinion
    How about the children?
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    (Original post by amylouisenic)
    No cos if you really love someone you would never cheat on them.

    Plus, I plan on still having sex in my 50s/60s/till the day I die - so lack of sex would be no excuse. Not that it's an excuse to cheat anyway.

    If you're in a marriage and you're unhappy due to lack of sex/other issues then LEAVE or FIX IT - no matter what age you are.
    When you're in your 50s or 60s your menopause might stop you from having sexual desire altogether.
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    (Original post by Ronove)
    :rofl2:
    You make me cringe in disgust.
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    (Original post by amylouisenic)
    The question is regarding cheating during marriage. Marriage is based on faithfulness, loyalty, and love (amongst other things). If someone is unfaithful, they are invalidating the marriage.

    If they are no longer sexually attracted to me and no longer want to be part of the marriage, they are welcome to leave.

    edit: if you really loved someone you wouldn't cheat on them, because it would hurt them and their feelings - something which, if you loved them, you would care about. If you wanna have sex with someone else, LEAVE or discuss an open relationship. Don't understand the need for dishonesty and betrayal.
    I'd say marriage is based on trust more than anything. Love is, if anything, a minor aspect of it because it doesn't last and turns only into compassion (which can be just as good, but a different chemistry stuff altogether).

    With that in mind, I'd think it'd be inappropriate for a husband to sleep around if there was reasonable expectation from the other party for him to not to do that. The problem is, however, that most people see marriage as 'owning someone sexually exclusively' which has led to many problems. Most men who cheat don't even find the mistresses more attractive than their wives; they just want the physical action, which is fair enough, like going to a restaurant to eat or whatever. I'd argue that the wife have every reason to divorce the man if that trust has been broken, but would also like to add that it's really not 'love' if you're thinking about your own happiness and having any sort of of control over the other party.
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    (Original post by clh_hilary)
    When you're in your 50s or 60s your menopause might stop you from having sexual desire altogether.
    Very true. Will cross that bridge when I come to it.

    (Original post by clh_hilary)
    I'd say marriage is based on trust more than anything. Love is, if anything, a minor aspect of it because it doesn't last and turns only into compassion (which can be just as good, but a different chemistry stuff altogether).

    With that in mind, I'd think it'd be inappropriate for a husband to sleep around if there was reasonable expectation from the other party for him to not to do that. The problem is, however, that most people see marriage as 'owning someone sexually exclusively' which has led to many problems. Most men who cheat don't even find the mistresses more attractive than their wives; they just want the physical action, which is fair enough, like going to a restaurant to eat or whatever. I'd argue that the wife have every reason to divorce the man if that trust has been broken, but would also like to add that it's really not 'love' if you're thinking about your own happiness and having any sort of of control over the other party.
    I think trust is the most important part of a relationship (which I think people agree with universally), so I didn't think I needed to mention it as one of the bases of marriage - so yes I agree with that but had taken it as a given, would never marry or be with someone I didn't trust.

    Agree with that last paragraph, although I feel maybe you didn't read my other posts...I said I'd want my partner to be happy, regardless of whether or not that was with me. It wasn't about control.
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    (Original post by 41b)
    It's not outdated at all.

    It's a simple tradeoff. A man can get a beautiful young woman regardless of his age. Women cannot generally attract good men after 35 or so.

    You want me to be faithful to you, even though I no longer find you attractive? Then be mine, look up to me, and serve me. Show me why I married you: your humility, your submissiveness and your respect for me. Otherwise, I have little interest in catering to your ego. I don't owe you anything. Everything in life is a transaction, and love does not justify a one sided transaction.
    LOL. Have you seen the average old man? Not pretty.
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    (Original post by amylouisenic)
    LOL. Have you seen the average old man? Not pretty.
    Looks don't have anything to do with it. His charm, his charisma and his power are what make him attractive. Really, you're a woman and you go after looks? You must end up with the shallowest guys.
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    (Original post by clh_hilary)
    How about the children?

    My parents stuck together for me and my sister. I am thankful every day that they broke up and I think that if your marriage is beyond repair, you should end it, do not cheat.

    If the children find out their parents cheated they will be far more hurt than if the parents split up
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    (Original post by 41b)
    Looks don't have anything to do with it. His charm, his charisma and his power are what make him attractive. Really, you're a woman and you go after looks? You must end up with the shallowest guys.
    Do you think young women are going to be interested in an old ugly guy with hair sprouting from his ears and nasal passages?? No, not unless he is rolling in it.

    And for your information, no I do not. I go for intelligence, sense of humour and insane sexual attraction. But thank you for that excellent analysis of my love life. :clap2:

    edit: just to add, the only young women interested in old guys are shallow ones.
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    (Original post by clh_hilary)
    Loads of people can offer you something but they aren't.
    Can you rephrase that?
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    (Original post by amylouisenic)
    No cos if you really love someone you would never cheat on them.

    Plus, I plan on still having sex in my 50s/60s/till the day I die - so lack of sex would be no excuse. Not that it's an excuse to cheat anyway.

    If you're in a marriage and you're unhappy due to lack of sex/other issues then LEAVE or FIX IT - no matter what age you are.
    Hahaha, come back and reaffirm this when you're 60 and married and maybe I will believe it.
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    (Original post by 41b)
    Looks don't have anything to do with it. His charm, his charisma and his power are what make him attractive. Really, you're a woman and you go after looks? You must end up with the shallowest guys.
    On my course there are several guys aged 30+. We're all going out later - and I guarantee you they will fail. Go down the union, you might as well just start with the line "I've got Anthrax".

    Looks have everything to do with it. Look old = poison.
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    (Original post by TurboCretin)
    Hahaha, come back and reaffirm this when you're 60 and married and maybe I will believe it.
    LOL. Reallllyyyyy hope I'm not on TSR when I'm 60 and married.
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    (Original post by Clip)
    On my course there are several guys aged 30+. We're all going out later - and I guarantee you they will fail. Go down the union, you might as well just start with the line "I've got Anthrax".

    Looks have everything to do with it. Look old = poison.
    :laugh: love this.
 
 
 
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