Open Relationships - Would you have one? - Page 3

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You're right I keep telling myself it will go away but then another "idea" pops up in his head, and it always involves wanting to add other people to our relationship, I just don't get why he wants to be with other people when I give him all the love and attention in the world. :confused:

Some of us are just built a bit different - doesn't mean there's anything wrong with you at all, just that maybe you two are no longer compatible with each other in terms of what you want and get out of your relationship.

Reply 41

Smash Bandicoot

No I'm too much of a paranoid, I would expect her any moment to go 'LOL jk now I'm having a closed relationship with Bill, sucks to be you love :tongue:

' and then I'd likely have a breakdown.

Reply 42

BunnyMisery246

Original post by Smash Bandicoot

No I'm too much of a paranoid, I would expect her any moment to go 'LOL jk now I'm having a closed relationship with Bill, sucks to be you love :tongue:

' and then I'd likely have a breakdown.

Theres nothing wrong with being paranoid, i'd say it just means you love the person you're with so much you don't want to share them.

Reply 43

Smash Bandicoot

Original post by BunnyMisery246

Theres nothing wrong with being paranoid, i'd say it just means you love the person you're with so much you don't want to share them.

have you actually had clinical anxiety disorder level paranoia? I can assure you there are a few things wrong with it, and they're not cute, they will make your partner run, very fast away from you if you're not careful.

Reply 44

BunnyMisery246

Original post by Smash Bandicoot

No I don't have a disorder, you don't have to have an anxiety disorder to not want to share your partner with other people, that makes no sense at all.

Reply 45

Smash Bandicoot

Original post by BunnyMisery246

No I don't have a disorder, you don't have to have an anxiety disorder to not want to share your partner with other people, that makes no sense at all.

you said to me 'nothing wrong with being paranoid'-I mean clinically paranoid. I don't know if you have seen my posts on Riku or this account, but they are apparently not pretty and an unhealthy frame of mind. In this case I mean I am paranoid my partner will cheat and an open reship would seal the deal, I feel like cheating is unusually frequent at the moment.

Reply 46

BunnyMisery246

Original post by Smash Bandicoot

Oh i'm really sorry I never realised you had a disorder. Sorry if I came across rude, and hope everything works out for you. :smile:

Reply 47

Smash Bandicoot

Original post by BunnyMisery246

Oh i'm really sorry I never realised you had a disorder. Sorry if I came across rude, and hope everything works out for you. :smile:

no worries :h:

thank you!

Reply 48

lccy

The more I like a guy the more I'd want to see of him, and therefore I'd want it to be exclusive.
But I've also enjoyed seeing multiple guys at the same time.

Reply 49

BunnyMisery246

Original post by lccy

The more I like a guy the more I'd want to see of him, and therefore I'd want it to be exclusive.
But I've also enjoyed seeing multiple guys at the same time.

So have you been in an open relationship in the past? Would you want to be in one in the future or do you prefer being exclusive and what were the arrangements for you seeing multiple guys at the same time, did they know about it?

Reply 50

lccy

Original post by BunnyMisery246

Good question. I don't know if my situation would have been called an open relationship. I would see this guy almost every weekend. I did see other people but I don't know if he did - we didn't really talk about it although I never hid it from him that I was seeing other people. We just liked spending time together and there was a physical connection.
I don't really have a preference over exclusive relationships or open ones. Right now I enjoy my freedom so maybe an open relationship would work best for my needs, but exclusive relationships are also wonderful if you're in the right one.
:smile:

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Reply 51

geoking

Original post by BunnyMisery246

Because some people are just dicks and no matter what you do or say, they will not change into who you want them to be.

Stop wasting your time and energy on a guy that doesn't deserve it. Think about what many other things you could be doing instead of wasting it on a guy who is repaying your generosity and affection by wanting to bang other girls.

I know someone like you who is in a very similar position. Again, you're only wasting your time because these things never end well. So you can either end it on your terms and save time, or wait for months, maybe longer until he really, really hurts you. Your choice.

Reply 52

BunnyMisery246

Original post by lccy

Good question. I don't know if my situation would have been called an open relationship. I would see this guy almost every weekend. I did see other people but I don't know if he did - we didn't really talk about it although I never hid it from him that I was seeing other people. We just liked spending time together and there was a physical connection. 
I don't really have a preference over exclusive relationships or open ones. Right now I enjoy my freedom so maybe an open relationship would work best for my needs, but exclusive relationships are also wonderful if you're in the right one. 
<img src="images/smilies/smile.png" border="0" alt="" title=" :smile:

" smilieid="1" class="inlineimg" /> 
 
 
 
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Thanks for your reply hun, perhaps you've just not found someone you love enough to want to be exclusive yet, but i'm sure you will someday. :smile:

Reply 53

Rum Ham

No I personally wouldn't be interested in an open relationship

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Reply 54

Angel.1

Personally I wouldn't and if I was with someone and they even brought up a subject like that I would consider breaking up with him, purely because of the fact that he is actually considering having intimacy with someone other then me .. That's a messed up thing which is just a lame excuse for him to have permission to sleep around... If I were you I would get rid of him ASAP because if you don't agree with the "open relationship" then he will probably cheat on you..

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Reply 55

BunnyMisery246

He said I can sleep with other guys as long as he picks the other guy, which is hilarious because he gets angry if I even look at another man for more than a second when we're out, yet it's ok for him to comment on how fit another woman is or what a nice arse she has. His reasoning for it is it's in a mans DNA to want to shag other women, it's always double standards with him and now this. :\

Reply 56

flossicles

OP, if he's not going to respect you and what you want then he's not worth being with.

As others have said on here, he sounds selfish. Remember that a relationship involves two of you, and can only work if both of you are getting what you want from it. Don't try to compromise on something you don't want, because it won't end well. The only thing it'll do is get you hurt.

If you're not comfortable with the idea of an open relationship, and he is too immature to understand that, please don't waste your time on him. There are better, more respectful, kind and loving people out there for you.

Reply 57

BunnyMisery246

Thanks for the advice flossicles, I should be in bed right now but guess what he's out with the lads probably crashed on someones sofa not answering my texts, this happens every weekend. I'm going to have a serious talk with him this weekend about everything so he knows where I stand.

Reply 58

flossicles

I was in a relationship for 2 years with someone who didn't respect me, and it made me feel awful about myself.

What you've just said really resonates as I was constantly worrying about him, and yet he wouldn't ever text me - the whole double standards thing makes me wince as I've been there and done that, and from experience I know it isn't worth it.

It's so important to make sure you speak up! Your opinions, thoughts and feelings matter just as much as his. If you ever want to chat or vent about anything, I'd be more than happy to talk to you. I used to be up til all hours feeling sick with worry :rolleyes:

so I know how you feel.

You deserve to have someone who wants to make you happy and will respect you, and shows that he loves you by being considerate. Please, please don't bend over backwards for someone who won't do the same for you. You deserve so much better.