Turn on thread page Beta

why this meaningless pursuit of power, respect and status? Oh and sex I guess. watch

Announcements
    • Thread Starter
    Offline

    3
    ReputationRep:
    (Original post by rosebud114)
    Okay on a time limit but I am going to respond to this the best I can in the time I have because clearly you spent a lot of time writing that and I honestly your post hit home, so I couldn't not respond. Any hoo...

    Your 1st paragraph is my thought process is and has been mine for a very long time, so I know EXACTLY where you are coming from but it struck me that I am a woman so you may not believe me (sadly). SO just to explain I will now post a response for every thought you wrote down, here goes.

    'I must be great or my life will be crap'- I think this every morning and every night and I am not exaggerating, I feel like my life has not been lived if I haven't achieved anything great by 30.

    'only the best get anything good in life'- There was a time once when my brain, not a by-product of the world I am surrounded by but genuinely a happy unaffected brain, felt like I was great.Then you hit puberty and EVERYTHING changes. Now all we are all on this pursuit for greatness and would go to lengths to achieve it IF we didn't have a million other thoughts(including the ones you have stated) also swimming around in our heads so it's not lie that the 'best' do achieve these great things, probably because they can overcome this thought process.

    I will never be happy if I'm mediocre or average in some way'.- I will never ever be happy to marry and have children(which would be something I consider mediocre,clearly nothing wrong with it but it's just average for me) so I refuse to marry until I have achieved something, it's a stupid way to think I know but I can't bare the thought of having 'nothing to my name', I have promised myself I will not be average, so much so that I have a strong dislike towards the word 'average'.

    'women want alpha males'- Just to put it in there not all women do, but on my quest for greatness
    in life, yes they are attractive to me because obviously we are all in love with strength and superiority and would love to adopt that nature ourselves, it's not the same for everyone and that is not why everyone is attracted to 'alpha males'. But honestly don't get too hung up on it OP, I can't speak for the world but 'Oh he is an alpha male' isn't in everyones train of thought when they meet someone. There is so much more explaining to do then that ^ and science behind about why women are attracted to alpha males,so I suggest look it up

    if my gf has an MA and I don't have a phD she will cheat on me/leave me'- Cheating is done for many reasons, I am not saying this could not be one of them if someone more successful then you showed up the maybe...(If you value a phD as successful and I am assuming you do) but obviously I doubt it. But on that note, I feel the same about my spouse being more successful then I am so I know what you mean.

    -this leads on to 'graa hypergamy' 'attraction is amoral everyone is shallow and heartless when it comes to sex I'm ****ed nooo' 'all these guys despise how low social status I am' 'this guy is better than me but I am better than this other guy but who cares because this guy is better than me and that's dangerous', spiralling downwards until I am in some cycle of self-loathing and paranoia.

    I know what you mean. I know EXACTLY what you mean.

    Para 2:

    Yes it is sold to you, but you have bought it so you are just as bad. It is now something you desire that comes in the way of your happiness, how are you going to overcome this? Most people would say you need to learn to be content with what you have, but my outlook on this and also why I have written you an essay on this, is that you might as well commit to achieving it or feel like crap for the rest of your life, it is a choice really, if your not good enough then you won't have it. Will you hate it once you have it? yes maybe, but is that worse then never having it? I don't know, you decide.

    OH MY LORD the 'grass is greener issue', reading about the people who experienced the greener grass on the other side is another reason to feel like you will never amount to anything great in life...

    Oh and the sex, yes we all want to be attractive and have sex with attractive people and I can see how this adds to the 'problems'. Honestly it's not shallow either, it's human nature. Sex and beauty do interlink.


    Okay now that I have spent 20 minutes expressing how I feel, I can tell you that you are not alone and yes you do have an over active imagination(me too) so what do you do about it? probably stop using this train of thought against you and stop questioning whether you want it. If you want it then you need to stop letting it de- motivate you, hatch up a plan and sort your life out. If you don't care for it much, go live your life as fully as you can and don't look back. Honestly your happiness is up to you, for me my imagination is so far gone that if I went for the 'normal' life option, I will feel like I have failed my self. But I am not inside your brain OP so you need to decide on what you want and go about getting it. You could die tomorrow y'know...so sort it out. A bit rich coming from me as I don't feel like I live my life properly due to this train of thought.

    So you either go get it? or demolish it? either way you really need to start living because you don't want to look back on your life and see it as wasted life.
    ehhh so what I got from this is, if I do not achieve my goal of alpha male I should be depressed like yuou are, therefore I have to be perfect or I am ****ed why do I not start becoming perfect now?!

    I appreciate your efforts all the same. Please correct if I am wrong.

    (Original post by rosebud114)
    I honestly can't believe I wrote so much, I hope I answered your question but seriously your post really did hit home with me. You may have just written it because you were having a bad day and I typed you up an essay, with very good analysis may I just add
    ^^^

    edit: no it's not just a bad day thing, I'm a depressive

    (Original post by KingStannis)
    Riku/10
    it's OK bro, I gave up pretending a few weeks ago.


    (Original post by TorpidPhil)
    To be honest I think that you think that because you're paranoid, not because you're more rational than others, or better at predicting probability.

    I know it's not much use me saying that. It's like saying during a debate "you're wrong, I'm right", I haven't told how to see that you're paranoid, but that's the problem - I'm not sure how you could get yourself to see that...

    Maybe if by saying this I can incite some sort of open-mindedness about the potential for you to be paranoid that would be sufficient and make this post worthwhile?

    By paranoid I essentially mean "exaggerating the probability of negative consequences occurring from actions you undertake".
    correct me if I misunderstand, you feel that I only think others are unusually confident, because I am so anxious about the worst case scenario of e.g. confidence becoming arrogance, narcissism, self-absorption etc.?
    Offline

    9
    ReputationRep:
    (Original post by TorpidPhil)
    Don't worry, I enjoyed reading it even if nobody else did
    Why thank you, I had enjoyed writing it!
    Offline

    9
    ReputationRep:
    'ehhh so what I got from this is, if I do not achieve my goal of alpha male I should be depressed like yuou are, therefore I have to be perfect or I am ****ed why do I not start becoming perfect now?!

    I appreciate your efforts all the same. Please correct if I am wrong.'


    Not necessarily, I basically said, stop living in a dream that you might not ever want/need/get or strive to get it. Don't live in-between and be depressed because there is literally no point. You either want it or you don't! and are completely wrong about the alpha male bit, re-read that part please!
    Offline

    18
    ReputationRep:
    (Original post by Smash Bandicoot)
    correct me if I misunderstand, you feel that I only think others are unusually confident, because I am so anxious about the worst case scenario of e.g. confidence becoming arrogance, narcissism, self-absorption etc.?
    Yeah, I think your anxiety about these things you write about is rarely justified.
    • Thread Starter
    Offline

    3
    ReputationRep:
    (Original post by rosebud114)
    'ehhh so what I got from this is, if I do not achieve my goal of alpha male I should be depressed like yuou are, therefore I have to be perfect or I am ****ed why do I not start becoming perfect now?!

    I appreciate your efforts all the same. Please correct if I am wrong.'


    Not necessarily, I basically said, stop living in a dream that you might not ever want/need/get or strive to get it. Don't live in-between and be depressed because there is literally no point. You either want it or you don't! and are completely wrong about the alpha male bit, re-read that part please!
    ahh, much more reassuring

    thank you, hope things go well for you too :hugs:
    • Thread Starter
    Offline

    3
    ReputationRep:
    (Original post by TorpidPhil)
    Yeah, I think your anxiety about these things you write about is rarely justified.
    they seem justified in my mind...
    Offline

    19
    ReputationRep:
    (Original post by Rakas21)
    Why the persuit of money? Money is power.

    Why the persuit of power? Power is freedom.

    What is freedom? Well in many ways its living by your own rules rather than somebody else's. To move to the USA now I must jump through hoops. To move to the USA as a rich man, I can pretty much choose to or not if I wish. That is power. We also see it with drugs often. Pretty much only murder and rape are going too far.

    Not overly bothered about status, that stems from your inadequacy issues whereas I tend to be an egotist who views nobody as all round superior to me (of course there are smarter and faster people ECT.. But they are not me, they lack my personality and that is why they are at best equal to me).

    Sex, genetic instinct to mate.

    ...

    Your problem is you lack self belief and overanalyze. If you don't love yourself, then why would you expect anybody else to.
    Power is not freedom.

    Power is power.

    Freedom is having peace of mind to carry out your life without fear.
    Offline

    9
    ReputationRep:
    (Original post by Smash Bandicoot)
    ahh, much more reassuring

    thank you, hope things go well for you too :hugs:
    I should have just written that before! But it felt good to express all that! and thank you :jumphug:
 
 
 
Poll
Do you think parents should charge rent?
Useful resources
AtCTs

Ask the Community Team

Got a question about the site content or our moderation? Ask here.

Welcome Lounge

Welcome Lounge

We're a friendly bunch. Post here if you're new to TSR.

Groups associated with this forum:

View associated groups

The Student Room, Get Revising and Marked by Teachers are trading names of The Student Room Group Ltd.

Register Number: 04666380 (England and Wales), VAT No. 806 8067 22 Registered Office: International House, Queens Road, Brighton, BN1 3XE

Write a reply...
Reply
Hide
Reputation gems: You get these gems as you gain rep from other members for making good contributions and giving helpful advice.