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Got a boyfriend and I'm having a sleepover (with my guy friend) watch

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    I've read all of these comments with great interest.

    OP, do whatever you think is right. I know that if my girlfriend said this to me, I would probably be alright with it. It has happened a couple of years ago when we were both at uni, and it was fine.

    Above all, I think that it is pretty sad that people instantly think that he is going to try and sleep with her. I know that if I were the male in this scenario I would be rather offended. If they are just friends then there is nothing wrong with this -- I have female friends and not for one minute do I think about trying to get with them whenever I see them. What has society come to.
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    Think about it this way, would you want your boyfriend having a sleepover with a girl?
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    Yowzer why are you guys/girls so jealous? It's such an ugly trait.

    I wouldn't care if my boyfriend had a female friend to stay, and he wouldn't care if I had a male friend to stay.

    We love each other and trust each other completely.
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    (Original post by jakeel1)
    I would dump you immediately. Anyone who even thinks this is a good idea is nuts.
    (Original post by Seventeen)
    personally I would dump my girlfriend for even suggesting the idea...
    You two are in wonderfully successful relationships then I take it?
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    (Original post by icup12)
    What do you think of this?
    What are your thoughts and opinions on this?
    Is it okay?
    What about if it's vice versa?

    I'm 19 and he's 20 and I told him I'm having a sleepover with a guy and he was pissed. He's just a friend - nothing more. What can I do?
    I really don't see what the issue is at all, I stay at my guy mates and vice versa pretty regularly, in fact last time we visited a friend in Brighton me and a guy mate (Who is engaged) shared a double bed (with a few cats as well).

    I assume you two aren't going to be sharing a bed? Is it just him staying over?

    Does your boyfriend know your guy mate? It might put his mind at rest if you introduced them.
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    (Original post by alexmann97)
    Wow. I never realised that girls being friends with guys immediately meant that they wanted to have sex. I should have known that every girl with a male friend is cheating on her boyfriend with him.
    I know, I'm always just banging every guy I know. When I meet up with my friends from Uni it's pretty much like and orgy.

    You don't even want to know what's going to happen when I stay at my male friends house before I fly out from Heathrow. Definitely only for sex and in no way linked to the fact he lives near the airport.
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    (Original post by alexmann97)
    Maybe I've just lead a sheltered life, but most of the guys I know are actually interested in being friends, you know, because having friends is nice. Not all men just want sex, you can't stereotype it. If you really loved your girlfriends then you should trust her not to be sleeping with other people behind your backs.
    What is this, a guy saying you should trust your gf on TSR instead of saying all women are scheming *****es who want to cheat on you and all men just want to bang women?!

    The apocalypse must be upon us.

    I'm really glad there's people still left on this site that aren't bitter towards women/humanity.
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    (Original post by macromicro)
    It's not just about trust. Do you understand what respect is? Or masculinity? You are undermining both.

    Real males are proud animals - in another lifetime we were hunters of dangerous game and guardians of our community. We thrive on leadership and taking care of close ones. We hold respect and courage above all other virtues. We will die ourselves lest our women and children be harmed.

    And your reply to this is: "kk cool, can I go spend the night with another man?"
    Now back to the real world...

    Real men trust and respect you enough to let you socialise and, shock horror, be friends with, with other men.
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    I have a bf and I let a male friend sleepover with me once because he needed a place to stay for the night. I explained he would sleep on the floor and bf was totally fine with it.

    It depends on how much you trust each other. I understand your bf's concerns and ultimately the onus lies with you OP. Out of respect for your bf you should make your friend sleep on the floor. If your friend doesn't respect that suggestion then I would definitely say he views you more as a friend and in that instance you should cancel your sleepover.


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    I'm not sure why some people think that a guy staying overnight with a girl automatically means they're going to have sex.

    I'm also not sure why some people think that all guys' friendships with girls are on the basis that they've been 'friendzoned' by the girl.

    Anyway, I wouldn't be thrilled if my boyfriend said another girl was staying the night with him... but hopefully I'd trust him enough to not try to prevent it.
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    Still wouldn't be okay with this even if he was gay. Why would you rather spend your nights alone with someone other than your boyfriend.
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    (Original post by glycerin)
    Still wouldn't be okay with this even if he was gay. Why would you rather spend your nights alone with someone other than your boyfriend.
    Because she has friends/a social life that doesn't have to include her boyfriend 24/7.

    When people start a relationship it doesn't mean they wave goodbye to their individual life's as well.
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    Haha. you need to seriously consider your morals. I hope this man spreads his wings and flies to a girls house to sleep over. See how you feel.
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    I honestly don't see the problem here? :lolwut: at people saying they would dump you if they were your boyfriend, that is not how mature relationships work.
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    (Original post by icup12)
    I don't see any harm in doing this? in my opinion. it's just friend-to-friend talk/night
    Would sound better if it was never called a sleepover. Too private, it probably is anyway, but.....i think you should meet to chat in a public place all night if you must like mcdonalds. Big stain for your boyfriend's memory to imagine you'd contemplatingly desire another boy to share your room, your personal and intimate space for a night. Letting a friend crash unplanned after a night out is one thing....but this would blow my mind to bits in a relationship....
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    (Original post by SnooFnoo)
    Because she has friends/a social life that doesn't have to include her boyfriend 24/7.

    When people start a relationship it doesn't mean they wave goodbye to their individual life's as well.
    It is most understood that they never do. But making plans with someone in advance just for a night in together to boost comfort in the middle of a very private conversation takes that entirely to the next level of cringe. I don't know if i've got the right picture but that would be the general idea for me.
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    (Original post by ForgettingWhatsername)
    I honestly don't see the problem here? :lolwut: at people saying they would dump you if they were your boyfriend, that is not how mature relationships work.
    Totally this. I do wonder what the average age of this thread is
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    It depends on how long you and your boyfriend have been together and also depends on how long the other has been a close friend. If i was in a new relationship and my boyfriend(i'm a girl) has a girl staying overnight, my reaction may differ depending on how long they have been friends. The friend zone is real and the other guy may like you without you realising it and your boyfriend may have noticed it
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    (Original post by ForgettingWhatsername)
    I honestly don't see the problem here? :lolwut: at people saying they would dump you if they were your boyfriend, that is not how mature relationships work.
    Yeah mature relationships are about sleepovers!

    Having male friends is absolutely fine, no one is debating that. Inviting one man for a sleep over is not fine, regardless of how much you trust your girlfriend. Where does this end exactly? Surely if you're happy with this then in principle it should be no different to, say, a 35 year-old wife sleeping over with another male friend? "oh hey hubby, I'm sleeping with Bob tonight, see you tomorrow!" Why does this not happen? Because they are in a mature relationship.

    (Original post by redferry)
    Now back to the real world...

    Real men trust and respect you enough to let you socialise and, shock horror, be friends with, with other men.
    If you had read my post - the very first line in fact - you would have seen that it's not just about trust nor is it about socialising generally and having male friends generally. Please make sure to read and comprehend posts properly before replying to them, in the interest of the discussion.

    And I hunt, so that is my real world.
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    If he's on the sofa in the living room, and you're in your room, and he's a really good friend to you AND your boyfriend, then its OK. Apart from that, it's just weird and sounds dodgy.
 
 
 
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