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Flatmate keeps threatening to 'sue' me. Help? watch

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    Sue? is she from the US? tell her to get laid the moody *****.
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    #1

    Thank you all. I am just hoping this blows over quickly. It's really irritated me!
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    I've been to a small track liability trial (watching) and I can imagine it now.

    Judge to Claimant: "So you're saying a friend of the Defendant knocked on your door... once?"
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    Just ignore this, dont spend any more time worrying.

    Can you imagine who will be most in trouble if she calls the police?! Its a waste of police time and they dont take kindly to it. Good heavens if every flat mate in uni who had been kept awake or woken by a loud or drunken person called the police we would need to triple the force.

    It means nothing that she studies law. It sounds like she has less of a grasp of realities of law than most other people.

    All you can do is politely explain again that it was not your intention that she was woken, you have already apologised and thats the end of it. You will ask any future party guests to avoid touching her door!

    If you have another party and she *****es about it again, the very worst that will happen is you will get your knuckles rapped by the porter, happens a thousand times a day across the country.

    Dont worry, this is nothing, she is over reacting in the most laughable way.
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    Pray that she goes to court, then hire a lawyer who promptly gets the charge dismissed and you get awarded court cost, lawyers fees and filing fees.
    Edit: Oh and if she continues with the note, try filing counter-claim for harassment/ defamation - you will probably (definitely) loose but who cares.
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    Just apologise to her and make sure it doesn't happen again. End of story.

    Remember it is her home too, there's no reason she should have to put up with your noisy and uncouth friends, whatever time of day or night it is.

    If you think you have the right to party, then you need to become a Beastie Boy, not a student.
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    Either she is not very bright, or she is simply trying to scare you. Hopefully you apologised that someone knocked on her door, but explained that it was a mistake. It is entirely reasonable to expect in shared accommodation that flatmates will invite guests around from time to time, and a single incident does not constitute harassment.

    I think she is trying to scare you into believing she knows more about the law than you, on the grounds that she is 26 and you are 18. If this happened to one of my kids, I would say don't worry, tell her she is welcome to call the police, as the British police will not be interested unless it's a very slow day. Tell her the appropriate action would be to contact the porter. (And maybe read through the terms and conditions/ rules for your halls so you know EXACTLY where you stand, better than she does. There will almost certainly be something there about noise, parties etc.)
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    Ok so now think.

    What would have avoided all this? You have brought this on yourself to a certain extent.

    If you know she is a hard worker and may need more time to study if English isn't her first language then you should have warned her that you were going to invite people over ; that they were going to be loud etc. You could even have invited her to the party. This is basic good manners. This would have allowed her to go somewhere else to study or warned her to expect noise etc.

    Put yourself into her shoes . She is in a foreign country where things are done differently to what she knows at home. She is probably suffering from culture shock and is very lonely. Suddenly one night a crowd of drunken people she doesn't know start larking around her flat. One of them knocks on her door. I guess he wasn't doing a polite rat a tat if he was drunk. You can imagine she would have been very frightened and alarmed.

    Remember she is away from home in quite another culture from what she is used to. Her response was perhaps a little over the top but as a foreigner she is likely to get wording wrong and be much more vulnerable than you and your friends are.

    So the future. Choose a time when no one else is around . Knock quietly on her door and grovel. Smile and be penitent. Say you are so sorry that she was disturbed and you quite understand how worried she was. That you will warn her next time, that you will make sure it isn't a time when she needs to study, that you should have invited her too. Ask if she would like to go out with you to a cafe ( not a bar ) or to a friend's place to chat, or to some sort of quietish social gathering. This is what people do to put others at their ease and be understanding of their situation.

    If you were in China, living among people who had different ways to you, far from your family and friends you would like your flat mate to be welcoming I'm sure . And you would be mortified to find out she thought you 'boring' because you didn't act quite like them.
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    (Original post by crozibear96)
    I don't see how it's harassment because a) you did nothing at all directed at her before she sent the note and b) the knock on her door was an accident.
    This
    YOU didn't do anything yourself and harrassment is a regular, deliberate thing, not a one off accident.

    My advice would be to ignore her/tell her to try it. She's the one who'll lokk the fool if she follows up.
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    Laugh and let her get in trouble for wasting police time
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    It wouldn't even be taken to court, the police wouldn't take her seriously, you're in halls and halls parties happen all the time. Everyone knows that. You haven't done anything wrong, just ignore it and don't let her ruin your time in halls!
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    ...one of my friends knocked on my flatmate's door by mistake and she's now left me a note saying that she will 'sue me if it happens again and will call the police.' ...She studies law... and I'm not sure if it's true
    lmaolmaolmaolmao

    no hun it's not true
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    My flatmate is a 26 year old from Hong Kong and is extremely boring. She stays in her room all day and barely speaks to anybody. I had my friends over and we were being quite loud as most of us were drunk. This is the first time I have ever had friends over, to be honest so I thought she wouldn't mind. Apparently, one of my friends knocked on my flatmate's door by mistake and she's now left me a note saying that she will 'sue me if it happens again and will call the police.' I don't know how to approach her about this, please help.
    Just tell her to stfu tbh. She sound dumb


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    (Original post by pickup)
    Ok so now think.

    What would have avoided all this? You have brought this on yourself to a certain extent.

    If you know she is a hard worker and may need more time to study if English isn't her first language then you should have warned her that you were going to invite people over ; that they were going to be loud etc. You could even have invited her to the party. This is basic good manners. This would have allowed her to go somewhere else to study or warned her to expect noise etc.

    Put yourself into her shoes . She is in a foreign country where things are done differently to what she knows at home. She is probably suffering from culture shock and is very lonely. Suddenly one night a crowd of drunken people she doesn't know start larking around her flat. One of them knocks on her door. I guess he wasn't doing a polite rat a tat if he was drunk. You can imagine she would have been very frightened and alarmed.

    Remember she is away from home in quite another culture from what she is used to. Her response was perhaps a little over the top but as a foreigner she is likely to get wording wrong and be much more vulnerable than you and your friends are.

    So the future. Choose a time when no one else is around . Knock quietly on her door and grovel. Smile and be penitent. Say you are so sorry that she was disturbed and you quite understand how worried she was. That you will warn her next time, that you will make sure it isn't a time when she needs to study, that you should have invited her too. Ask if she would like to go out with you to a cafe ( not a bar ) or to a friend's place to chat, or to some sort of quietish social gathering. This is what people do to put others at their ease and be understanding of their situation.

    If you were in China, living among people who had different ways to you, far from your family and friends you would like your flat mate to be welcoming I'm sure . And you would be mortified to find out she thought you 'boring' because you didn't act quite like them.
    This.

    OP, as others have said you don't need to worry about the police. But please be considerate towards your flatmate(s), especially if they're from a culture that is quite different than ours. Not everyone likes drunk people running up and down their corridor, knocking on doors, etc.
 
 
 
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