Accepting I'll never find anyone. Watch

Emily.97
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#41
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#41
(Original post by Anonymous)
If you're under 25, you're being a crybaby.
Typical response to a male displaying concern/emotion.

In answer to the thread starter's post, I do think it's easy to fall in to the trap of telling yourself that you'll never find someone, and, it doesn't do you any favours. It'll make you depressed, especially with the expectation that you should/must be in a relationship.
You just can't chase these kind of things. You have to just see what happens, otherwise you'll just make yourself miserable.
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shawn_o1
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#42
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#42
(Original post by Emily.97)
Typical response to a male displaying concern/emotion.

In answer to the thread starter's post, I do think it's easy to fall in to the trap of telling yourself that you'll never find someone, and, it doesn't do you any favours. It'll make you depressed, especially with the expectation that you should/must be in a relationship.
You just can't chase these kind of things. You have to just see what happens, otherwise you'll just make yourself miserable.
if he accepts then he's made a decision on how he wants to live and basically telling society to **** urself
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Emily.97
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#43
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(Original post by Daveboi115)
So just an update then... It's not so much that I madly hate being alone it's just annoying at times especially since I don't have one single friend to chill with and anytime I ask people what they are doing the are either "with the missus" or need to see when they are next not with her or whatever the case may be. Pain in the ass. I just don't get it, I mean I'm not the most confident guy in the world but I'm not shy either, I workout all the time, eat clean, keep in shape all the usual stuff.
I can completely relate to this. I don't have the same level of concern that you originally displayed in the post, but at least in my situation, it's with regards to my sister.
I don't have a social circle, but even if I did I think I'd be more likely to turn to my family. My sister is usually really enthusiastic with me and enjoys my company, but recently she spends the majority of her time with her partner. I can partly understand, because the weekend is the only time when they can properly see each other, but she does make less effort (eg doesn't email me at work like she usually does). I feel that people are more likely to show an interest in you when they're not preoccupied with other people, and that is one thing that I dislike about people- they can be really hedonistic. I've adapted though- I try to be in control of my own happiness/contentment, rather than relying on others to meet your needs, because you can never be assured that people will always be there for you.
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Emily.97
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#44
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#44
(Original post by shawn_o1)
if he accepts then he's made a decision on how he wants to live and basically telling society to **** urself
There's one thing telling yourself that you'll never find somebody, and there's another being aware that it's neither possible nor impossible.

The first one is irrational, and the second one is realistic.
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sr90
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#45
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Yeh i'm 24 and i've completely given up. If you get to my age and nothing has ever happened its obvious that either your looks or personality are hugely lacking, well for me it's both.

Everyone I know is moving away and settling down, getting engaged, starting a family etc. Whereas my life at the moment is literally go to work, come home and sit on laptop, sleep, repeat. My social life is non existent. It just feels like i've completely missed the boat and I have no future or anything really :sad: I always dread having weekends off because I always end up getting upset about how lonely and empty my life is.
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Yeah dude
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#46
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Don't give up just take a new approach, if you don't get result after time with one way you switch to another way, what I'm saying is don't focus on trying to be with somebody, enjoy your life and then somebody will notice you and realise that you're different because you're enjoying yourself, then you will be in, but never give up


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Yeah dude
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#47
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(Original post by sr90)
Yeh i'm 24 and i've completely given up. If you get to my age and nothing has ever happened its obvious that either your looks or personality are hugely lacking, well for me it's both.

Everyone I know is moving away and settling down, getting engaged, starting a family etc. Whereas my life at the moment is literally go to work, come home and sit on laptop, sleep, repeat. My social life is non existent. It just feels like i've completely missed the boat and I have no future or anything really :sad: I always dread having weekends off because I always end up getting upset about how lonely and empty my life is.
Make the changes my friend, if the way you're living at the moment isn't working, then changes need to be made, good luck


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bittr n swt
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(Original post by sr90)
Yeh i'm 24 and i've completely given up. If you get to my age and nothing has ever happened its obvious that either your looks or personality are hugely lacking, well for me it's both.

Everyone I know is moving away and settling down, getting engaged, starting a family etc. Whereas my life at the moment is literally go to work, come home and sit on laptop, sleep, repeat. My social life is non existent. It just feels like i've completely missed the boat and I have no future or anything really :sad: I always dread having weekends off because I always end up getting upset about how lonely and empty my life is.
I know I've been a bit of a ****(and I'll stop) to you but I hope guys like you eventually find someone. It really is sad, don't give up.
Have you tried to increase your social life by perhaps with workmates? Perhaps ask your close friends how you can improve your looks and personality?
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sr90
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(Original post by Yeah dude)
Make the changes my friend, if the way you're living at the moment isn't working, then changes need to be made, good luck


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Thing is I love my job, i'm making very good money and my colleagues there are nice. However I finish work and there is just nothing. It's my birthday next week and I am absolutely dreading having 4 days off over Easter, 4 days where I probably won't speak to another human being. Had to try explaining to my colleagues earlier why I wasn't looking forward to my birthday and how I never do anything for it, they all thought I was incredibly weird. My social life at the moment is literally texting 2-3 people.

(Original post by bittr n swt)
I know I've been a bit of a ****(and I'll stop) to you but I hope guys like you eventually find someone. It really is sad, don't give up.
Have you tried to increase your social life by perhaps with workmates? Perhaps ask your close friends how you can improve your looks and personality?
Have you lol? When? :lolwut:

I think it's easier to ask what I don't need to improve on tbh
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bittr n swt
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(Original post by sr90)
Thing is I love my job, i'm making very good money and my colleagues there are nice. However I finish work and there is just nothing. It's my birthday next week and I am absolutely dreading having 4 days off over Easter, 4 days where I probably won't speak to another human being. Had to try explaining to my colleagues earlier why I wasn't looking forward to my birthday and how I never do anything for it, they all thought I was incredibly weird. My social life at the moment is literally texting 2-3 people.



Have you lol? When? :lolwut:

I think it's easier to ask what I don't need to improve on tbh
Ok probably not i do act dickish though

I think it'll be easier to pinpoint what you need to improve on as that excludes everything but that.
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sr90
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#51
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(Original post by bittr n swt)
Ok probably not i do act dickish though

I think it'll be easier to pinpoint what you need to improve on as that excludes everything but that.
Most of it is down to a chronic lack of self confidence which I don't think I can change.
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GeorgeBuxey94
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#52
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Yup I've steadily reached this conclusion too.
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Rhaenys10
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#53
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#53
(Original post by Anonymous)
Hey guys, so Im starting to come to terms with the fact that I'll never find anyone to be with. I say starting to come to terms but really I just mean that I've been single for so long with absolutely no hint of attentiont from any females whatsoever and in fact plenty of rejections that I just feel like I'm destined to be alone. I don't even believe in destiny but you get the picture. It's kind of sad really because I absolutely love the thought of having that someone to make feel special and treat them amazingly and share moments with etc. I just, well I don't even know anymore I suppose posting in here might give me some release but k would wager my next salary that you people don't really care either. Awh well. Life goes on.
from what you're saying here, you have absolutely nothing to offer. wanting a partner won't get you one

(Original post by RBalboa)
Dont worry these is a special girl out there somewhere for you:
This type of mentality won't do OP any good. There's no one waiting for him, no girl will one day fall in love with him if he doesn't learn what things like respect, social skills and self worth are
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Anonymous #4
#54
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#54
(Original post by Anonymous)
Hey guys, so Im starting to come to terms with the fact that I'll never find anyone to be with. I say starting to come to terms but really I just mean that I've been single for so long with absolutely no hint of attentiont from any females whatsoever and in fact plenty of rejections that I just feel like I'm destined to be alone. I don't even believe in destiny but you get the picture. It's kind of sad really because I absolutely love the thought of having that someone to make feel special and treat them amazingly and share moments with etc. I just, well I don't even know anymore I suppose posting in here might give me some release but k would wager my next salary that you people don't really care either. Awh well. Life goes on.
I'm a female and this is the kind of thing I'm looking for in a guy. Someone who knows how to love and treat a person right. I have so much love to give to a guy, but I've been disappointed and betrayed so much that it seems impossible.

Sometimes I wish people who are serious about getting into this are more connected than to be mismatched.
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black1blade
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#55
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Yeah we just have to accept we are below average in terms of getting puss lol.
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black1blade
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#56
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Puss/peen
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asif007
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#57
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There's nothing wrong with accepting this - it's hard but at least you've been honest with yourself instead of letting other people convince you that "you'll find someone" or "there's someone waiting for you" - that's BS. Having said that, I agree with what was mentioned above about age. If you're under 25, you're getting way ahead of yourself. When you still have work/school/uni, colleagues and a social life, you're bound to take a lot of rejection but it gets harder to find someone the older you get. So enjoy these years while you can. I suggest you use this as an empowering experience - you're a free agent and you don't have to put up with any **** that every relationship brings. Use this as motivation to focus only on yourself - get in the gym, eat well, play sports/have hobbies, put yourself out there and put your life on display to everyone around you. Then you're more likely to be attractive to girls, at which point you can choose whether to have a relationship or smash and dash. The point I'm trying to make is that relationships are never worth it anyway - enjoy your single life while you still have it, then in a few years you can re-evaluate and decide whether you still want to push yourself to get a girlfriend.
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ChickenMadness
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(Original post by Anonymous)
Hey guys, so Im starting to come to terms with the fact that I'll never find anyone to be with. I say starting to come to terms but really I just mean that I've been single for so long with absolutely no hint of attentiont from any females whatsoever and in fact plenty of rejections that I just feel like I'm destined to be alone. I don't even believe in destiny but you get the picture. It's kind of sad really because I absolutely love the thought of having that someone to make feel special and treat them amazingly and share moments with etc. I just, well I don't even know anymore I suppose posting in here might give me some release but k would wager my next salary that you people don't really care either. Awh well. Life goes on.

Did you find anyone then? It's been 2 years.
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