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Why don't people try to understand asexuality? watch

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    #2

    (Original post by cole-slaw)
    It amazes me the uncomfortable corners people back themselves into with unnecessarily restrictive self-imposed labels.

    I suppose if you manage to convince yourself that there is nothing wrong with you, you don't have to pluck up the courage to confront your problem and actually do something about it. It all seems a bit cowardly and misguided though.

    Sex is objectively a great thing, to spend your entire life missing out on it because you labelled yourself an "asexual" instead of confronting your issue is a real human tragedy.

    As for the people who promote this pseudoscientific nonsense and aid and abet others into making such bad life decisions....
    Please educate yourself before you make comments like this because you clearly have no understanding of the meaning of asexuality. As I said above its not about not wanting to have sex, that is celibacy. It's a lack of sexual attraction. You can WANT to have sex if you're asexual and you can ENJOY sex if you're asexual, to be asexual is to not feel any sexual attraction to the person you're having sex with. Simple as.
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    (Original post by TheWorldEndsWithYou)
    why don't people try to understand asexuality?
    what do you mean? I understand total bull**** perfectly well, actually!
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    This thread proved OP right. People are ****ing idiots. :bird:
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    Please educate yourself before you make comments like this because you clearly have no understanding of the meaning of asexuality. As I said above its not about not wanting to have sex, that is celibacy. It's a lack of sexual attraction. You can WANT to have sex if you're asexual and you can ENJOY sex if you're asexual, to be asexual is to not feel any sexual attraction to the person you're having sex with. Simple as.
    So you actively want to have sex, and you do feel physically aroused, but you don't feel sexual attraction.


    What exactly do you think sexual attraction is if not the combination of the active desire to have sex and the physical sexual arousal required to be able to do so?
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    (Original post by driftawaay)
    This thread proved OP right. People are ****ing idiots. :bird:
    This
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    (Original post by cole-slaw)
    It amazes me the uncomfortable corners people back themselves into with unnecessarily restrictive self-imposed labels.

    I suppose if you manage to convince yourself that there is nothing wrong with you, you don't have to pluck up the courage to confront your problem and actually do something about it. It all seems a bit cowardly and misguided though.

    Sex is objectively a great thing, to spend your entire life missing out on it because you labelled yourself an "asexual" instead of confronting your issue is a real human tragedy.

    As for the people who promote this pseudo scientific nonsense and aid and abet others into making such bad life decisions....
    What about homosexual people? Maybe they have a mental disorder as well? God knows that how people would treat them. Men would dismiss lesbians as just needing a good seeing to by a real man etc,.

    A quick google about asexually suggests that there is no overwhelming scientific consensus whether asexuality is a thing or not. It;s all kind of new. So in the mean time not talking to people who identify as asexual as being retarded may be a good approach.
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    (Original post by cole-slaw)
    So you actively want to have sex, and you do feel physically aroused, but you don't feel sexual attraction.


    What exactly do you think sexual attraction is if not the combination of the active desire to have sex and the physical sexual arousal required to be able to do so?
    Err... I can chip in a too much information way if you like.
    Spoiler:
    Show
    When I was little I would masturbate without really knowing why I was doing it. It just felt nice. Then the first time I had an orgasm later on in life it was still not very sexual. I was just doing it, I wasn't thinking about anything sexual to get me off or anything.
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    (Original post by cole-slaw)
    So you actively want to have sex, and you do feel physically aroused, but you don't feel sexual attraction.


    What exactly do you think sexual attraction is if not the combination of the active desire to have sex and the physical sexual arousal required to be able to do so?
    Arousal occurs at the act of sex not because of the person you're having sex with because you don't feel aroused by their physical appearance.
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    (Original post by ChaoticButterfly)
    Err... I can chip in a too much information way if you like.
    Spoiler:
    Show
    When I was little I would masturbate without really knowing why I was doing it. It just felt nice. Then the first time I had an orgasm later on in life it was still not very sexual. I was just doing it, I wasn't thinking about anything sexual to get me off or anything.
    yes, all children do that.

    It doesn't really answer the question though.

    Sexual attraction = mental desire + physical arousal.

    People who say they have the mental desire and the physical arousal but don't feel sexual attraction must think there is a term missing from the above equation: what is it?
    • #2
    #2

    (Original post by cole-slaw)
    yes, all children do that.

    It doesn't really answer the question though.

    Sexual attraction = mental desire + physical arousal.

    People who say they have the mental desire and the physical arousal but don't feel sexual attraction must think there is a term missing from the above equation: what is it?
    A mental desire for sex does not equal a mental desire for a specific person
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    (Original post by Caitlinmcewan)
    Arousal occurs at the act of sex not because of the person you're having sex with because you don't feel aroused by their physical appearance.
    I didn't understand that sentence. You are saying there is a correlation between the act of sex and sexual arousal, but no causation? That sounds highly implausible. What is your proposed alternative mechanism?
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    (Original post by cole-slaw)
    yes, all children do that.

    It doesn't really answer the question though.

    Sexual attraction = mental desire + physical arousal.

    People who say they have the mental desire and the physical arousal but don't feel sexual attraction must think there is a term missing from the above equation: what is it?
    A mental desire for sex does not equal a mental desire for a specific person
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    A mental desire for sex does not equal a mental desire for a specific person
    So you just want to **** everyone?
    • #2
    #2

    (Original post by cole-slaw)
    I didn't understand that sentence. You are saying there is a correlation between the act of sex and sexual arousal, but no causation? That sounds highly implausible. What is your proposed alternative mechanism?
    Causation could be anything?? Why do people choose to lose their virginity? Some reasons could be because it's socially expected of them or because they're curious to know whats it's like? It's not all down to wanting to have sex with a specific person
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    (Original post by TheWorldEndsWithYou)
    I can ask you the same thing about your sexuality. How do you know it won't change? How do you know your mentality hasn't been affected by socialization? What's the firm evidence for gay an bisexual people? Isn't it at all possible that there are people who want to have sex with the opposite sex, people who want to have sex with the same sex, people who want to have sex with both sexes and then people who don't want sex? You don't need to "immediately" adopt a viewpoint and you're not a bad person if it takes time or if you don't adopt it at all as long as you're respectful. Ultimately it's just good if you keep an open mind.
    Look I already said I see your point, no need to keep on making it. What you have not done is explain, if you can do that better then maybe people would understand it.

    Answering someone's questions with more questions does not count as an explanation!
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    Causation could be anything?? Why do people choose to lose their virginity? Some reasons could be because it's socially expected of them or because they're curious to know whats it's like? It's not all down to wanting to have sex with a specific person
    I don't think you understood my question.
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    (Original post by cole-slaw)
    yes, all children do that.

    It doesn't really answer the question though.

    Sexual attraction = mental desire + physical arousal.

    People who say they have the mental desire and the physical arousal but don't feel sexual attraction must think there is a term missing from the above equation: what is it?
    Well maybe asexual keep that child like mind set with sex for whatever reasons. They may just be repulsed by sex (like a young child). Maybe it is a genetic defect. Like how I get no urges to **** a man, well if that applied to women as well I'd be asexual. All the plumbing may work, I can still have orgasms and all that jazz from mechanical stimulation. Sex just repulses me. That's how I'd describe asexuality. The sexual attraction and mental desire isn't there in your equation.
    • #2
    #2

    (Original post by cole-slaw)
    I don't think you understood my question.
    But do you understand my point? Choosing to have sex doesn't have to be determined by sexual attraction. We live in an increasingly sexual society were some people are scared that they haven't lost their virginity at a certain age and also people are curious of the unknown. It doesn't mean they feel attracted to the person they choose to have sex with
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    (Original post by ChaoticButterfly)
    Well maybe asexual keep that child like mind set with sex for whatever reasons. They may just be repulsed by sex. Maybe it is a genetic defect. Like how I get no urges to **** a man, well if that applied to women as well. I'd be asexual.
    But someone above claimed that asexuals do want to have sex and do enjoy sex, and they do feel physical arousal when they are about to have sex.

    It seems to me that they actually sound pretty normal, except maybe they're expecting "sexual attraction" to be some massive thing but are confused when its not?
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    But do you understand my point? Choosing to have sex doesn't have to be determined by sexual attraction. We live in an increasingly sexual society were some people are scared that they haven't lost their virginity at a certain age and also people are curious of the unknown. It doesn't mean they feel attracted to the person they choose to have sex with
    Your point didn't answer my question, it went off on a tangent. If you don't feel sexual attraction, how come you get physically aroused when you're about to have sex?
 
 
 
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