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Is it ever a good idea to contact an ex? watch

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    I don't really know. No cheating on either side. No one, not even her friends no the reason.
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    (Original post by GingerJoe)
    I don't really know. No cheating on either side. No one, not even her friends no the reason.
    Hmm so you didn't get any closure, that's not cool! How long ago did you break up?
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    (Original post by TorpidPhil)
    That's a really unnecessary projection of your one misfortunate experience. That just doesn't have to be the case. You can still be friends with an ex... It depends entirely on why you are ex's with them. Not all break-ups have to be one-sided. Some can be mutual.
    I'm so glad some people aren't against this. I expected everyone to say ' he's an ex for a reason', but so many of the responses in this thread say the complete opposite. Everyone's story is different. Thanks!
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    No I didn't really. We went travelling separately, day I came back, said she wasn't in love with me. That was after 2 and abit years. It's been a few months now with no contact.


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    (Original post by GingerJoe)
    No I didn't really. We went travelling separately, day I came back, said she wasn't in love with me. That was after 2 and abit years. It's been a few months now with no contact.


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    Oh OK so she did kind of give you some closure then. That sucks, well if you do make contact let me know how it goes.
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    Well I don't know I certainly don't feel like I have, I don't completely understand. Up to a few weeks before we we were planing on travelling together and living closer to each other, then bam this...
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    (Original post by GingerJoe)
    Well I don't know I certainly don't feel like I have, I don't completely understand. Up to a few weeks before we we were planing on travelling together and living closer to each other, then bam this...
    OK that's understandable then. I would have a few questions to ask for sure. Good luck!
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    Well I don't know if I should ask or not.
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    (Original post by GingerJoe)
    Well I don't know if I should ask or not.
    Its up to you
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    Haha thanks


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    Ok so I just texted him earlier and he gave me his new number, said he's going to be changing it soon. So I guess he wants to keep in touch!
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    (Original post by phunky_fresh)
    I'm going to stop fronting and say I didn't text him because I want to be friends with him. I texted him because I miss him alot, I wanted to see how he was doing etc..I'd love to patch things up and I don't feel like its a crazy idea. I'm not going to get my hopes up at this point mind you.
    generally speaking this isn't a good idea- you're just prolonging the pain of breaking up. I was in this position where i'd speak to my ex sometimes and it just ruined all the progress i'd made in getting over him, but it is really tempting to chat to them and tell yourself that it's innocent because it's exactly like feeding an addiction.

    you never know though, maybe he wants to get back together too, im just talking about my personal experience. Its best to try find out where you stand with him.
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    (Original post by deedee123)
    generally speaking this isn't a good idea- you're just prolonging the pain of breaking up. I was in this position where i'd speak to my ex sometimes and it just ruined all the progress i'd made in getting over him, but it is really tempting to chat to them and tell yourself that it's innocent because it's exactly like feeding an addiction.

    you never know though, maybe he wants to get back together too, im just talking about my personal experience. Its best to try find out where you stand with him.
    I know what you mean. It just didn't feel like the end tbh even when he made contact a week later it didn't seem like it was over. Its hard to explain :/ I was reading through old messages from my first ever boyfriend and almost a year after the break up we were still in contact. It definitely didn't help me in the long run, but you live and you learn.

    This time around it feels different, my first boyfriend cheated on me and he really wanted to remain friends. My previous boyfriend (the guy my op is referring to) and I broke up because he thought we were on different pages. He wanted a serious relationship (so did I) however I let my past experiences get in the way and struggled so hard to let my guard down. I knew deep down he was a good guy, but everytime things progressed I'd run. I know this is something that will continously be an issue if I don't nip it in the bud and I'm working on it.

    I will see how it goes and not keep my hopes up on the meantime. Thank you
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    It's depends on the reason we've broken up

    but mainly, no
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    (Original post by thecatwithnohat)
    It's depends on the reason we've broken up

    but mainly, no
    That's fair enough. We broke up because he thought we were on different pages. He wanted a serious relationship (so did I) however I let my past experiences get in the way and struggled so hard to let my guard down. I knew deep down he was a good guy, but everytime things progressed I'd run. I know this is something that will continously be an issue if I don't nip it in the bud and I'm working on it.
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    I personally can't be friends with an ex, brings back too many painful memories.
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    (Original post by Rock Fan)
    I personally can't be friends with an ex, brings back too many painful memories.
    I hear you. I tried being friends with my first real boyfriend and it just didn't work at all. The only reason I went ahead with it is because he wanted us to remain friends.
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    So this morning he messaged me to say he found my whatsapp picture funny,so we joked around about it and that was that. I didn't attempt to continue the conversation, I wanted to see if he would. It was one of those ones where he didn't have to message me, but I'm glad he did.
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    Is it fair to say you still have strong feelings for him.


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    (Original post by GingerJoe)
    Is it fair to say you still have strong feelings for him.


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    Hey. I do like him still, I just think my feelings have subsided over time since we were out of touch for so long and so on.
 
 
 
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