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Applying to a university in London for high school crush? watch

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    (Original post by Cornflakes1688)
    We're basically twins in this situation. I was literally thinking i was going to go to the uni by where he lives but we don't talk really so i just stalk his social media to see what he's up to, it's crazy, weird and unhealthy but i primarily do it when i'm alone. This is creepy but sometimes when i'm at school i imagine scenarios of what it would be like if he was around at that point in time. Do you ever feel like your wasting valuable time in life you'll never get back cuz thats what i do and every time i have a bad day i just think about "us". it's so creepy, that creepy i'm kinda wishing this was anon rn but whatever:auto:
    It's not weird or unhealthy - in fact, in my opinion it's not true love if they don't occupy your every thought and waking moment! The thing is, very few people have experienced true love in its purest form so they can't empathise. But I can, and I can tell you that your love for him is beautiful.
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    (Original post by illiteratesoul)
    It's not weird or unhealthy - in fact, in my opinion it's not true love if they don't occupy your every thought and waking moment! The thing is, very few people have experienced true love in its purest form so they can't empathise. But I can, and I can tell you that your love for him is beautiful.
    I was 'in love' with my best friend for years. Obsessed by her. Completely consumed by it. And it destroyed me. You have (as I did) a completely unhealthy idea of what love it. Love isn't about pining from afar and making being with that person the only think that is important and ignoring all your other dreams. Love is about mutual trust and respect. It's about knowing that they will be there for you even if you're 1000s of miles apart. It's about not holding someone back from their future but instead supporting them with those decisions.

    I'm not saying what you feel isn't real, but it isn't healthy. You could move to the same university as him, even study the same course and you'll probably never see him. And what are you going to say if you do bump into him? You can't say 'I choose this uni because I love you', that would make people run so far. Life is not a Hollywood romance where you meet your 'one true love' when you're a child and you 'drift apart' and you find each other as adult and they loved you all along too. Most people realise that their 'first love' is unrequited and move on. You say you've changed since you knew him, why do you think he hasn't?
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    (Original post by SmallTownGirl)
    I was 'in love' with my best friend for years. Obsessed by her. Completely consumed by it. And it destroyed me. You have (as I did) a completely unhealthy idea of what love it. Love isn't about pining from afar and making being with that person the only think that is important and ignoring all your other dreams. Love is about mutual trust and respect. It's about knowing that they will be there for you even if you're 1000s of miles apart. It's about not holding someone back from their future but instead supporting them with those decisions.

    I'm not saying what you feel isn't real, but it isn't healthy. You could move to the same university as him, even study the same course and you'll probably never see him. And what are you going to say if you do bump into him? You can't say 'I choose this uni because I love you', that would make people run so far. Life is not a Hollywood romance where you meet your 'one true love' when you're a child and you 'drift apart' and you find each other as adult and they loved you all along too. Most people realise that their 'first love' is unrequited and move on. You say you've changed since you knew him, why do you think he hasn't?
    But I believe that unrequited love is worth just as much as love requited. I love him with all my heart and with all my soul and I can feel it. I would even die for him. Have you read Wuthering Heights? I am like a female version of Heathcliff, and you can't deny that Heathcliff was consumed with passion for Catherine.

    Remember when Cathy says, 'I am Heathcliff'? That is how I feel about him.
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    You do that and see how it pans out.
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    (Original post by illiteratesoul)
    But I believe that unrequited love is worth just as much as love requited. I love him with all my heart and with all my soul and I can feel it. I would even die for him. Have you read Wuthering Heights? I am like a female version of Heathcliff, and you can't deny that Heathcliff was consumed with passion for Catherine.

    Remember when Cathy says, 'I am Heathcliff'? That is how I feel about him.
    I do feel it's important to point out that Wuthering Heights is entirely fictional and written by a woman who had no known romantic relationships, and is therefore not to be taken entirely seriously as a benchmark of what love is.

    This is a foolish way to plan your life. You barely even know this person, however much you persuade yourself that you do. He certainly does not care for you as you do for him, since he has had opportunities to pursue a relationship and has not taken them up. You seem to be in love with the idea of being a person hopelessly in love. By all means apply to London. There are many good universities there and you'll do yourself no harm by attending one. Don't delude yourself that by being in the same city he will suddenly care for you, since you have proof that being in the same school with you didn't make him feel that way. I know this sounds harsh, but you will look back on this and cringe, so don't do anything that will make you cringe more by throwing yourself at him.
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    (Original post by illiteratesoul)
    But I believe that unrequited love is worth just as much as love requited. I love him with all my heart and with all my soul and I can feel it. I would even die for him. Have you read Wuthering Heights? I am like a female version of Heathcliff, and you can't deny that Heathcliff was consumed with passion for Catherine.

    Remember when Cathy says, 'I am Heathcliff'? That is how I feel about him.
    Fine. If you want to risk your mental health and ignore any chance of happiness by focusing on someone you've not spoken to for a year and a half rather than studying and making friends and having hobbies then go on. But you need to be aware that this image of him in your mind is not him. You are in love with an idea of who he is and what the relationship would be like. You are not in love with him.
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    (Original post by illiteratesoul)
    But I believe that unrequited love is worth just as much as love requited. I love him with all my heart and with all my soul and I can feel it. I would even die for him. Have you read Wuthering Heights? I am like a female version of Heathcliff, and you can't deny that Heathcliff was consumed with passion for Catherine.

    Remember when Cathy says, 'I am Heathcliff'? That is how I feel about him.
    Well if 'Wuthering Heights' is your guide to relationships, remember that Heathcliff was even more passionate about Cathy after she married someone else. So you should set about finding your Edgar Linton to make him more interested than he appears to be at the moment. You mention dying for him: remember that Cathy and Heathcliff were united spiritually after death and haunted the moors so maybe one day in the far future you will be together haunting the libraries and halls of residence of whichever university you pursue him to...
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    Cute.
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    (Original post by Carnationlilyrose)
    I do feel it's important to point out that Wuthering Heights is entirely fictional and written by a woman who had no known romantic relationships, and is therefore not to be taken entirely seriously as a benchmark of what love is.

    This is a foolish way to plan your life. You barely even know this person, however much you persuade yourself that you do. He certainly does not care for you as you do for him, since he has had opportunities to pursue a relationship and has not taken them up. You seem to be in love with the idea of being a person hopelessly in love. By all means apply to London. There are many good universities there and you'll do yourself no harm by attending one. Don't delude yourself that by being in the same city he will suddenly care for you, since you have proof that being in the same school with you didn't make him feel that way. I know this sounds harsh, but you will look back on this and cringe, so don't do anything that will make you cringe more by throwing yourself at him.
    In my opinion, fiction is closer to reality than the rationalist's perception of 'reality' is. Reality is much darker and more inexplicable than pure reason can tell us: we're blinded by the materialism of our society, led into a false consciousness where our thoughts are dictated by ideology. We can't always trust what those governmental institutions tell us about mental health and 'normal' behaviour - it's all *******s.
    I know I love him, full stop.
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    (Original post by SmallTownGirl)
    Fine. If you want to risk your mental health and ignore any chance of happiness by focusing on someone you've not spoken to for a year and a half rather than studying and making friends and having hobbies then go on. But you need to be aware that this image of him in your mind is not him. You are in love with an idea of who he is and what the relationship would be like. You are not in love with him.
    See above.
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    Worst decision ever.

    Don't do it OP. You will regret it.
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    (Original post by illiteratesoul)
    But I believe that unrequited love is worth just as much as love requited. I love him with all my heart and with all my soul and I can feel it. I would even die for him. Have you read Wuthering Heights? I am like a female version of Heathcliff, and you can't deny that Heathcliff was consumed with passion for Catherine.

    Remember when Cathy says, 'I am Heathcliff'? That is how I feel about him.
    This sounds extremely unhealthy.

    Say you did all this and you bumped into him (which is unlikely), what happens then? Are you gonna explain all this to him?

    I know it's hard when you have feelings for someone, but you'll drive yourself mad thinking like this
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    (Original post by illiteratesoul)
    In my opinion, fiction is closer to reality than the rationalist's perception of 'reality' is. Reality is much darker and more inexplicable than pure reason can tell us: we're blinded by the materialism of our society, led into a false consciousness where our thoughts are dictated by ideology. We can't always trust what those governmental institutions tell us about mental health and 'normal' behaviour - it's all *******s.
    I know I love him, full stop.
    I don't think that really means anything. It doesn't really make very much sense. I can't see what governmental institutions have to do with anything whatsoever. What I am sure about is that you will eventually come to see that this as a crush and I am also sure that nothing anyone on here can say is going to do anything other than make you become further entrenched in your belief in your one true love. From a practical point of view, as I said, there are many good universities in London and you will come to no harm going to one of them.
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    (Original post by illiteratesoul)
    In my opinion, fiction is closer to reality than the rationalist's perception of 'reality' is. Reality is much darker and more inexplicable than pure reason can tell us: we're blinded by the materialism of our society, led into a false consciousness where our thoughts are dictated by ideology. We can't always trust what those governmental institutions tell us about mental health and 'normal' behaviour - it's all *******s.
    I know I love him, full stop.
    Fiction is closer to reality than reality is?

    So governments are lying about mental health problems that cost the country billions in health care and benefits? Do you believe that every person with a diagnosed mental illness is complicit in these lies? I know from my lived experience that what you are feeling isn't healthy long term.

    If you are certain you're doing the right thing then why did you feel the need to ask strangers on the internet their opinions?
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    (Original post by Carnationlilyrose)
    I don't think that really means anything. It doesn't really make very much sense. I can't see what governmental institutions have to do with anything whatsoever. What I am sure about is that you will eventually come to see that this as a crush and I am also sure that nothing anyone on here can say is going to do anything other than make you become further entrenched in your belief in your one true love. From a practical point of view, as I said, there are many good universities in London and you will come to no harm going to one of them.
    Proves my point. Governmental institutions such as hospitals and mental health clinics tell us that practical reason is ideal - as a human being though, I believe in my instinctive feelings and passions. They want to control us and keep society in order. I believe in following my heart.

    And as you have rightly pointed out, going to a university in London wouldn't do much harm, 'from a practical point of view'. I'm just seeking a balance for both my instincts and for my future security.
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    (Original post by illiteratesoul)
    In my opinion, fiction is closer to reality than the rationalist's perception of 'reality' is. Reality is much darker and more inexplicable than pure reason can tell us: we're blinded by the materialism of our society, led into a false consciousness where our thoughts are dictated by ideology. We can't always trust what those governmental institutions tell us about mental health and 'normal' behaviour - it's all *******s.
    I know I love him, full stop.
    Have you considered the possibility that Romantic Love could also be a culturally determined ideological construct?
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    (Original post by SmallTownGirl)
    Fiction is closer to reality than reality is?

    So governments are lying about mental health problems that cost the country billions in health care and benefits? Do you believe that every person with a diagnosed mental illness is complicit in these lies? I know from my lived experience that what you are feeling isn't healthy long term.

    If you are certain you're doing the right thing then why did you feel the need to ask strangers on the internet their opinions?
    I believe that the divisions between 'madness' and 'sanity' are merely social constructs. As a 'civilised' (again, an arbitrary concept) human being, I would conform to some of these social constructs (e.g. I care about my education and would like to earn money when I'm older) but to a limited extent - I am suspicious of what society tells us about mental health problems. I know what makes me happy and content - and he does.
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    (Original post by Gosse)
    Have you considered the possibility that Romantic Love could also be a culturally determined ideological construct?
    That is true, but who's to say that my feelings for him have to be labeled 'romantic love'? At the basest level, they are instinctive impulses that lead me into pursuing him relentlessly, and this comes from no culturally determined ideological dication. And I shall do my best to satisfy these impulses, without stepping too far over the boundaries of 'sanity' and 'civilisation'
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    (Original post by illiteratesoul)
    That is true, but who's to say that my feelings for him have to be labeled 'romantic love'? At the basest level, they are instinctive impulses that lead me into pursuing him relentlessly, and this comes from no culturally determined ideological dication. And I shall do my best to satisfy these impulses, without stepping too far over the boundaries of 'sanity' and 'civilisation'
    Well, you know best. Sweet dreams!
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    Girl you're stupid. Going to London won't make him magically see you in a new light. I'm just.... I'm too baffled by your logic to even comment.
    Ok so what are you going to tell him in London IF you see him? What can you say that you didn't say this year and a half plus you haven't contacted him. Like.... Oh my gosh i'm frustrated just thinking about your stupidity. My mother always told me that the most intelligent of people say the most stupidest stuff and make the dumbest decisions. ok Why don't you message him on a social media platform first? Talk for a while.

    But honestly London has a lot of Nice universities from my research (Planning on going to London for Uni myself) UCL, KCL, Queen Mary, Maybe Royal Hollaway (Although its not in central london) even City.
 
 
 

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