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I want a slightly less attractive guy watch

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    People do like different things, I love chubby girls but their just arnt enough of them around.
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    (Original post by Gears265)
    You say that yet OP specifically said she wants someone who is below average and not what she classes as beautiful.
    No I think OP meant what people generally find average, I don't know that's how I interpreted it!
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    My time to shine.
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    (Original post by Gears265)
    But your average is below the average of the social norm in society.
    My average is just the normal average. I don't know how to put what i'm thinking into words lol. I'll try to explain as best as i can. I don't find myself attracted to guys everyone else finds good looking. Like the typical hollywood actor. It's not my taste. At the same time there are guys who although are not conventionally attractive i find extremely attractive but i don't let myself be attracted to them because i feel like i'm out of their league. I don't know. My ideal guy is someone who's average in terms of looks but who i have a great connection with. Is what i'm saying making sense?
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    My average is just the normal average. I don't know how to put what i'm thinking into words lol. I'll try to explain as best as i can. I don't find myself attracted to guys everyone else finds good looking. Like the typical hollywood actor. It's not my taste. At the same time there are guys who although are not conventionally attractive i find extremely attractive but i don't let myself be attracted to them because i feel like i'm out of their league. I don't know. My ideal guy is someone who's average in terms of looks but who i have a great connection with. Is what i'm saying making sense?
    You bring up an important point regarding league. Personally in my normal day to day activities I would never approach a girl I considered stunning because I feel out of their league (if I was drunk though I'd have no problem having a chat but that another story) so naturally I would lower my standards. Do you think this is how you think? My thinking is why waste my time trying to go out with a stunning girl when she could do miles better than me. Is yours similar to that but vice versa?
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    (Original post by TheonlyMrsHolmes)
    No I think OP meant what people generally find average, I don't know that's how I interpreted it!
    OP cleared it up for me so my bad, this thread feels a bit like a game of interpretation so you might be right.
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    (Original post by Gears265)
    OP cleared it up for me so my bad, this thread feels a bit like a game of interpretation so you might be right.
    Indeed, OP was very vague in the beginning.
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    #1

    (Original post by Gears265)
    You bring up an important point regarding league. Personally in my normal day to day activities I would never approach a girl I considered stunning because I feel out of their league (if I was drunk though I'd have no problem having a chat but that another story) so naturally I would lower my standards. Do you think this is how you think? My thinking is why waste my time trying to go out with a stunning girl when she could do miles better than me. Is yours similar to that but vice versa?
    Yes. Like this. Basically i'd see someone i personally consider handsome but then think there is absolutely no point of even thinking about it. I don't let myself think further about it. Because of reason like i'm not good enough, they could do much better, etc. Which is why i would settle for ok looking guys. Say there were two guys. One extremely good looking and one ok looking. And say i built an emotional connection with both. If i was given the choice of picking one of the two i'd pick the less attractive looking one. Sort of like a safety choice i guess
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    (Original post by Gears265)
    OP cleared it up for me so my bad, this thread feels a bit like a game of interpretation so you might be right.
    (Original post by TheonlyMrsHolmes)
    Indeed, OP was very vague in the beginning.
    Apologies. I'm not really good at expressing my thoughts into writing. Bear with me please
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    Yes. Like this. Basically i'd see someone i personally consider handsome but then think there is absolutely no point of even thinking about it. I don't let myself think further about it. Because of reason like i'm not good enough, they could do much better, etc. Which is why i would settle for ok looking guys. Say there were two guys. One extremely good looking and one ok looking. And say i built an emotional connection with both. If i was given the choice of picking one of the two i'd pick the less attractive looking one. Sort of like a safety choice i guess
    I completely understand you. One feeling of it is embarrassment of rejection, another is the feeling of other people thinking "he/she got someone way out of their league". The difference between us though is I have zero cares in the world about relationships, I prefer night flings and plus real life keeps me occupied too much. I never try to build emotional relationships with people, I haven't got the time if I was honest but if was looking for someone I would probably without trying to be rude kinda like 'downgrade' from what I consider a girl out of this world.

    We think they are too good for us and so it won't work and I think we are right, some of these girls I see could get a rich, model type, successful, ticks all the boxes man who I could never compete with so I'd rather not have the drama. I like the chill life.
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    (Original post by Toby Riotshield)
    Well personally, I'd love a redhead who's slim etc etc

    But I've never found myself that bothered about the looks, as long as I can get on with them.

    I'm not particularly attractive myself - huge m'fin nose, glasses, bad beard (I'm 16) - so I'm just holding out for all the girls that don't want six-packs and huge arms.
    If you want the last two things, go and get them. Anybody can put on muscle. It doesn't cost anything except time.
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    #1

    (Original post by Gears265)
    I completely understand you. One feeling of it is embarrassment of rejection, another is the feeling of other people thinking "he/she got someone way out of their league". The difference between us though is I have zero cares in the world about relationships, I prefer night flings and plus real life keeps me occupied too much. I never try to build emotional relationships with people, I haven't got the time if I was honest but if was looking for someone I would probably without trying to be rude kinda like 'downgrade' from what I consider a girl out of this world.

    We think they are too good for us and so it won't work and I think we are right, some of these girls I see could get a rich, model type, successful, ticks all the boxes man who I could never compete with so I'd rather not have the drama. I like the chill life.
    Yeah, but don't you think that mentality is wrong. Actively going out of your way to settle for someone who you think is second best, or as you put it "downgrading". I'm trying to change this way of thinking as it's just our insecurities holding us back
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    Yeah, but don't you think that mentality is wrong. Actively going out of your way to settle for someone who you think is second best, or as you put it "downgrading". I'm trying to change this way of thinking as it's just our insecurities holding us back
    Of course it is mentally wrong and I actually struggled to find a word for it. Emotionally I might connect to a less attractive girl but I haven't yet got the ability to strive away from the feeling to admit deep down to myself that a different girl is physically more appealing. When I write this remember I do so with the intention of staying single for now so I would never do that to a girl. I couldn't give a girl enough of my time right now anyway.
    • #1
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    (Original post by Gears265)
    Of course it is mentally wrong and I actually struggled to find a word for it. Emotionally I might connect to a less attractive girl but I haven't yet got the ability to strive away from the feeling to admit deep down to myself that a different girl is physically more appealing. When I write this remember I do so with the intention of staying single for now so I would never do that to a girl. I couldn't give a girl enough of my time right now anyway.
    What is it your busy with if you don't mind me asking? Studies? You said before you've never connected emotionally with a girl. Not even once in your lifetime? And also, when you're looking for a night fling do you bed the stunning girls or again do you settle for one step lower? I'm just curious lol. You don't have to answer if you don't want to
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    What is attractive? Different for everyone in a personal way. Most can probably agree on what is conventional attractive, like hot actors and singers but what qualities we want in someone we actually go out with vary.

    There is your beautiful, and then another's beautiful. Whatever it means to each of you.
    • #4
    #4

    (Original post by Anonymous;[url="tel:59401331")
    59401331[/url]]I don't understand. I've never been attracted to a conventionally attractive guy. For marriage, i would like someone who's just average on the scale of attractiveness but who i have an amazing mental and emotional connection with. Is this normal? Girls and guys, do you ever feel this way or?
    OMG!! That's EXACTLY how I feel! You have articulated it perfectly. The supermodels are obviously stunningly beautiful but I'd much prefer and I feel genuinely attracted to averagely beautiful women or even normal looking women. So cool to know someone else feels like this.
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    (Original post by TheonlyMrsHolmes)
    I literally feel the same way, so weird. But sometimes I feel my really attractive is everyone else's 'average'.
    Low self esteem.
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    OMG!! That's EXACTLY how I feel! You have articulated it perfectly. The supermodels are obviously stunningly beautiful but I'd much prefer and I feel genuinely attracted to averagely beautiful women or even normal looking women. So cool to know someone else feels like this.
    Are you handsome or? I am an average normal looking woman imo. Nothing special about me. Let's get together
    • #5
    #5

    (Original post by Anonymous)
    At the same time there are guys who although are not conventionally attractive i find extremely attractive but i don't let myself be attracted to them because i feel like i'm out of their league. I don't know. My ideal guy is someone who's average in terms of looks but who i have a great connection with. Is what i'm saying making sense?
    This is extremely common. Actually, most people are exactly the same, even if they are not aware of it. Psychologists have studied this a lot, and there is a theory that we do go for with those similar to us - it's called the matching hypothesis. People want to be with people they feel comfortable with, not people who make them feel inferior. I've heard that when we meet people who are out of our league we subconsciously look for negatives, but when we meet someone in our league we look for their positive points, which could explain why you say you are aren't attracted to good looking people.
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    I get what you mean. I've had MAJOR crushes on guys that really don't fit the conventional image of male beauty, but they've always been so witty, brainy and kind that I see them the way another person may view a male model. Sometimes I go for the conventional guy at first, but as you get to know people I think we all tend to ignore beauty more.
 
 
 
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