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If you could write your personal statement totally honestly, what would you say? watch

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    I would talk about my hobbies what I am interested in and talk about the subjects that I love and what I would want to be in the future and what is my dream job etc
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    Please accept me for your med course, the money I spent on admissions tests could have bought me a cat or something which would at least comfort me post-rejection
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    My Personal Statement would've probably gone a bit like this:

    "pls accept me"
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    "I have amazing teamwork skills"
    cough cough*

    I actually mean, I hate teamwork. I'd rather work 24/7 alone than have people around me chatting away leaving me as the scapegoat when things don't go well. Until I meet people who can actually do teamwork, I'll stay as a lone wolf.

    Peace.
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    It is commonly accepted that self identity and theory of mind develops in humans at ~2 years. However, I know this is not true because ever since I was a tiny, tiny, embryo I have always wanted to study psychology. I would like to go to university and prove this with empirical evidence.

    :yep:
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    I want to study Pharmacy because. Honestly, I don’t want to study Pharmacy, I choose to apply to this course because I’m studying Chemistry which is remotely tolerable. I’m only studying Chemistry because I got an A* in my Biology mock, yes that’s right Biology, and my imbecile of a P.E Teacher decided that Chemistry goes quite well Biology and well, here I am. Why should you accept me to your prestigious university? In all seriousness you probably shouldn’t, I’m lazy, don’t apply myself and sometimes quite damn rude, but I also sometimes get good grades and that’s all you’re really after so cut the bull****, stop pretending like you’re reading this and make me an offer. I could go on about my passion for the subject, which I have never studied and know absolutely nothing about, but that would be a waste a valuable of ATP, oh look another useless term we learned in Biology. Quite frankly the term ‘higher education’ fills my soul with utter disgust and shame, does this mean I will not attend a higher education institution? Of course not. After all I’m a grammar school boy and that’s just what we do. I’m sure by now you have received my dazzling reference that highlights my brilliance and calibre and informs you of why I would be an asset to your course and community but unfortunately unlike this personal statement that is complete bull****. Even my own colleague’s question my motive for attending my current school and are often left baffled and perplexed as to how I even achieved the entry requirement of 4 A’s and 3 B’s to continue my education into Sixth Form. If I’m being totally honest I don’t actually want to ‘study’ anything at university, I just want to go because I’m bored at home and my school won’t accommodate me unless I plan on repeating the year. My teachers strongly advised me against sending this personal statement, but what do they know, they’re only teaching because they screwed up their A-Levels and/or wrote a dodgy personal statement so I decided it was in my best interests to ignore their often quite rude requests. After reading your recipe for a ‘good’ personal statement in which you were clear on avoiding clichés and plagiarism which I am sure I have done I will no doubt be expecting at least 5 unconditional offers, also feel free to forward my personal statement to any universities I haven’t applied to as I’m sure they’ll be dying to take me. I would insert a section here about all the further reading I had completed but that would detract from the honesty and integrity of this personal statement. If you don’t make me an offer I might end up poor and homeless because my teacher once said those without a degree earn up to ten times less than their ‘successful’ counterparts. Without a degree I would be forced to pursue my real dream as a drug dealer hoping to one day lead my own successful illegal drug empire from the comfort of my own home with my family none the wiser, Gus Fring from Breaking Bad filled me with the belief that this dream is possible although I don’t hope to die in such a theatrical manner. The real reason you should take me is that you probably have a quota for people of colour, I’m a good liar and I thoroughly enjoy a good meal, what more could you ask for? A wise man once said to me “If you keep seeing what you want to see, you’ll turn blind”, I was that wise man. Many said I would never get anywhere with this personal statement and because they said it couldn’t be done, I did it.
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    As much as no one believes me I didn't even exaggerate anything in my personal statement. I think if you are strong enough for the course you will have what you need for a personal statement. If not then you probably haven't been to enough talks or done enough activities to make you competitive.
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    Please accept me. I like the subject and am able to do it. I promise I will be a good student.
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    MrInsanity I hope you feel better after letting that out
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    (Original post by SeanFM)
    I don't know who you are. I don't know what you want. If you are looking for ransom, I can tell you I don't have money. Not for tuition fees anyway. But what I do have are a very particular set of skills, skills I have acquired over a very long career. Skills that make me a nightmare for people like you. So please accept me into <insert your uni here>.
    That was fantastic
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    (Original post by MrInsanity)
    I want to study Pharmacy because. Honestly, I don’t want to study Pharmacy, I choose to apply to this course because I’m studying Chemistry which is remotely tolerable. I’m only studying Chemistry because I got an A* in my Biology mock, yes that’s right Biology, and my imbecile of a P.E Teacher decided that Chemistry goes quite well Biology and well, here I am. Why should you accept me to your prestigious university? In all seriousness you probably shouldn’t, I’m lazy, don’t apply myself and sometimes quite damn rude, but I also sometimes get good grades and that’s all you’re really after so cut the bull****, stop pretending like you’re reading this and make me an offer. I could go on about my passion for the subject, which I have never studied and no absolutely nothing about, but that would be a waste a valuable of ATP, oh look another useless term we learned in Biology. Quite frankly the term ‘higher education’ fills my soul with utter disgust and shame, does this mean I will not attend a higher education institution? Of course not. After all I’m a grammar school boy and that’s just what we do. I’m sure by now you have received my dazzling reference, that highlights by brilliance and calibre and informs you of why I would be an asset to your course and community but unfortunately unlike this personal statement that is complete bull****. Even my own colleague’s question my motive for attending my current school and are often left baffled and perplexed as to how I even achieved the entry requirement of 4 A’s and 3 B’s to continue my education into Sixth Form. If I’m being totally honest I don’t actually want to ‘study’ anything at university, I just want to go because I’m bored at home and my school won’t accommodate me unless I plan on repeating the year. My teachers strongly advised me against sending this personal statement, but what do they know, they’re only teaching because they screwed up their A-Levels and/or wrote a dodgy personal statement so I decided it was in my best interests to ignore their often quite rude requests. After reading your recipe for a ‘good’ personal statement in which you were clear on avoiding clichés and plagiarism which I am sure I have done I will no doubt be expecting at least 5 unconditional offers, also feel free to forward my personal statement to any universities I haven’t applied to as I’m sure they’ll be dying to take me. I would insert a section here about all the further reading I had completed but that would detract from the honesty and integrity of this personal statement. If you don’t make me an offer I might end up poor and homeless because my teacher once said those without a degree earn up to ten times less than their ‘successful’ counterparts. Without a degree I would be forced to pursue my real dream as a drug dealer hoping to one day lead my own successful illegal drug empire from the comfort of my own home with my family none the wiser, Gus Fring from Breaking Bad filled me with the belief that this dream is possible although I don’t hope to die in such a theatrical manner. The real reason you should take me is that you probably have a quota for people of colour, I’m a good liar and I thoroughly enjoy a good meal, what more could you ask for? A wise man once said to me “If you keep seeing what you want to see, you’ll turn blind”, I was that wise man. Many said I would never get anywhere with this personal statement and because they said it couldn’t be done, I did it.
    I hope you included paragraphs in your actual ps
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    (Original post by Puddles the Monkey)
    Here's what mine would have been:

    Dear University,

    So it turns out the adult world is a cruel, horrifying and bleak environment which I've now worked out I am simply not ready for. Please allow me to crawl back into the womb of education for a further three years until I am fully gestated.
    This to be honest.

    Although uni was hardly a walk in the park.
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    (Original post by Puddles the Monkey)


    "Please give me the job, I need money and I possibly won't be completely **** at it :argh:"
    It worked with TSR :yy:
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    (Original post by Snufkin)
    "The world scares me. Please accept me so I can hide in libraries forever."
    This.
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    (Original post by Airmed)
    Then again, the last year has been ****ing horrendous for me, so a chance to get out of my ****ty country and away from the memories will do me the world of good.
    Are you applying to any unis abroad?
    It's a sure fire way of escaping this ****ty country!
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    I cannot guarantee that I did not write this personal statement in a pool of my own tears, Ritz crackers and a rather dubious mix of Red Bull and vodka. I cannot guarantee that my University essays will not be written in a similar fashion.
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    (Original post by Mpagtches)
    Are you applying to any unis abroad?
    It's a sure fire way of escaping this ****ty country!
    I'm actually at uni now! I'm from N.I and I'm now in Scotland.
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    (Original post by Mpagtches)
    Are you applying to any unis abroad?
    It's a sure fire way of escaping this ****ty country!
    I am applying in the UK from abroad to escape my country.
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    (Original post by scblx)
    I am applying in the UK from abroad to escape my country.
    Oh dear ... let's see how long it is before you want to go back! :eek:

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    Or, more realistically, somewhere better than both the UK and your home country
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    (Original post by Mpagtches)
    Oh dear ... let's see how long it is before you want to go back! :eek:
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    Or, more realistically, somewhere better than both the UK and your home country
    My country is not that bad, I was just joking. (Maybe I should have indicated that )
    At the moment I am not sure if to return or not later. I can't imagine going anywhere else than the UK or my home country. I would like to live in the US for a short time but definitely not for longer.
 
 
 

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