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Guys, if a girl asked you out on a date... watch

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    (Original post by addyaxis)
    I don't feel oppressed, I've never related my experiences into my discussion since I'm not generalising by using what I've seen in my life. I mainly base my discussions/debates on statistics and other things.

    Nothing is stopping me from being a CEO, apart from a bias that people tend to employ men no matter if there is equal merit just because of internalised sexism. You can look this up, it's true.

    I used my example of intersex children, how parents see genitals and immediately raise a child by dressing them in specific ways etc, when they ignore their internal sexual organs. Children who look 'normal' don't tend to get tested for their actual sex (chromosones and hormone levels). They are true examples of nature vs nurture. Just because they don't happen to be born frequently, doesn't mean they aren't an example of how constructed gender is.

    As for personal experiences, both my parents (in particular my dad) have battered me for saying I never want to have children. My dad calls me abnormal (like a gay person, apparently) because it's a woman's role in life to breed. I'm a strong advocate of sustainability and I don't believe the human population should be added to by every single woman possible. Besides the point, I also feel very repulsed by the idea etc.

    He has serious internalised sexism and believes a woman and man should act a certain way and do specific roles such as child bearing etc.

    And no, I never said all my life choices, such as my degree is based on my gender. I'm multilingual so I do English, but realise I want to go into a science information sector actually.

    I don't blame gender upbringing for my choices. But if you want to believe that women and men have personality traits based on a penis and a vagina then whatever makes you sleep better at night. Proof is out there that it's not true. As I've mentioned above.

    I don't want to attack you or argue with you. I don't have time to send endless links on feminism and gender gaps. You have to research yourself before coming to a conclusion.

    All the best.

    And to the OP, **** gender constructs, life is too short to dwell on this or that.
    Btw, do you identify as gender neutral?
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    (Original post by addyaxis)
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    (Original post by Flying Lotus)
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    I've already asked twice... Please take this to PM you are going completely off topic. Thanks.
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    (Original post by thechemistress)
    That is absolutely adorable wishing you luck OP, let us know how it goes? XD
    Thank you Hopefully I can report back with good news soon
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    (Original post by TorpidPhil)
    I'd swoon ngl.

    Even if I didn't like her at all XD

    Just the concept of a girl liking me that much that she decides to take it upon herself to be forward and say "**** that ****" to gender roles. Ahhh that's amazing.
    Thanks I'm hoping that even if he doesn't like me back he will at least admire my effort
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    (Original post by hektik)
    I'd recommend not deliberately being shy and nervous when asking, but especially as a girl, I can imagine that being quite endearing.
    Oh no it's not deliberate I'm quite shy anyway especially around him :shy2: I really want to give across a confident vibe when I ask but I suppose it takes confidence even to ask in the first place
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    (Original post by Black Cat)
    Awww I would find that endearing
    Yay! Thank you :grin:
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    Would you mind if she seemed a but nervous or shy when asking?

    I'm going to ask my crush to join me a coffee or lunch date but I'm so scared of tripping on my words, or giggling or going red. I want to seem really confident when asking him but I'm scared I will seem more shy than confident!

    Thank you
    damn go for it. tell the class how it went too.
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    (Original post by Oh no not again!)
    Why you getting all emotional?

    Alright cool maybe not all, I should have rephrased that, but some don't want an over possessive female, as it can turn the relationship sour and it's happened before.
    Im not getting emotional in the slightest. But vulnerable all too often becomes over possessive. Generally confident people are not needy.
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    I would be flattered
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    I would be flattered
    Thank you that is good to hear. I hope he will be flattered too
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    (Original post by rat poison)
    damn go for it. tell the class how it went too.
    Thank you for your encouragement Yep I will report back after I have asked him hopefully I will get the chance to in the upcoming week.
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    I wouldn't really care if they were timid or not. Really for me I would be into them if they had a nice personality, common interests and we've known each other for some time.
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    (Original post by Vikingninja)
    I wouldn't really care if they were timid or not. Really for me I would be into them if they had a nice personality, common interests and we've known each other for some time.
    Thank you it's good to know that a bit of timidness will hopefully not put him off, and that other things are more important
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    (Original post by Oh no not again!)
    I think guys are more attracted to girls when they are slightly timid.

    Whereas girls are probably more attracted to confidence.

    So don't worry if you come off shy or nervous as he might find that sweet.
    (Original post by Flying Lotus)
    Are they? This is news to me. How come?
    nah confident girls give me boners. Shy ones don't do that for me ngl. When you got a girl outrageously flirting with you it's just the best thing ever

    Shy girls are fine too though. Just a bit more effort to be with tbh.
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    (Original post by Oh no not again!)
    Well it all depends on the individual tbh.

    Some guys don't like aggressive women or some that have too much of a character it can be a bit too much, as you don't know who's wearing the trousers in the relationship, that's unless it's in the bedroom.

    But majority of the time, I think guys like to be in control. As it's an evolutionary trait.
    You want someone with no personality? and lol fair enough if you want to boss someone around. I'm not into those types of relationships.
    (Original post by addyaxis)
    In my head, I live in this perfect ungendered world and then I stumble upon threads like this that perceive weak women as attractive traits (even going as far as saying evolution moulds a personality??) and enforcing stereotypes.

    Oh man, this used to be a big deal in like secondary school. I thought people just don't care who does what anymore and that it's all fair game.
    Nah you're right. Just depends on the guy (and girl). Everyone likes different stuff and some girls still want to do the whole housewife thing.
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    (Original post by ChickenMadness)
    You want someone with no personality? and lol fair enough if you want to boss someone around. I'm not into those types of relationships.


    Nah you're right. Just depends on the guy (and girl). Everyone likes different stuff and some girls still want to do the whole housewife thing.
    Where is all of the talk in this thread going? This thread has absolutely nothing to do with me wanting to boss someone around or me being a housewife etc. Let's not get carried away now.. I'm simply wanting to ask my crush to go out on a date with me
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    Where is all of the talk in this thread going? This thread has absolutely nothing to do with me wanting to boss someone around or me being a housewife etc. Let's not get carried away now.. I'm simply wanting to ask my crush to go out on a date with me
    nah I'm just replying to the guy who says he doesn't want a girl who he thinks might be wearing the trousers lmao.

    You're fine it won't be off putting if you come across as shy.
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    (Original post by Retired_Messiah)
    awww

    It's no problem, as long as he thinks you're aight anyways it won't matter if you're confident or shy really.
    Thanks for sharing your views
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    You don`t need to ask him. Tell him that your going and leave it for him to ask you./
    To find out more about him keep it entirely nonphysical.
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    Personally I'd find it sweet if a girl asked me out and was quite shy, I mean it's normal to be scared, my heart was pounding when I asked my girlfriend out for the first time!
    If he likes you, and even if he doesn't, then being a bit shy shouldn't matter. Just go for it and I wish you luck and an enjoyable lunch/coffee date
 
 
 
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