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Was this girl raped? watch

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    (Original post by Jonny360)
    Yes you can; why on earth couldnt you?

    Also im not trolling. Just because you dont like what I have to say doesnt make it untrue
    Because legally speaking it isn't binding.

    I don't think you're a troll, I think you're ignorant.
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    (Original post by there's too much love)


    We don't know how conscious she was or what her mental state was. See first reply.
    Yes we do.
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    (Original post by there's too much love)
    Because legally speaking it isn't binding.

    I don't think you're a troll, I think you're ignorant.
    You're a lawyer then? If someone consents to sex then it is not rape, even if the person proceeds to get drunk.

    I cannot down a bottle of vodka and drive a car and then tell the judge that it's not my responsibility for my actions because I was drunk and not in control at the time. If I made the decision to drive, I face the consequences, whether I was drunk or not when I made that decision.
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    I need people's opinion please. So my boyfriend and I have been going through a rough patch for the past few months. I still love him immensely however we haven't had sex in a while and I don't want to, the things he did makes me feel sick to think about him touching me. So yesterday he hurt me way too much and I'm a recovering drug user for nearly 6 months now. But last night was too much to handle so I used again. I got back home and t first he was angry with me for getting high and being missing for 5 hours but then it soon turned to him giving me orders to take my clothes off etc which I did and then we had sex. Now the thing is if I was sober I wouldn't have given him consent and he knows that as well. Actually he hasn't seen me nude for like few months now and he knows he has no consent to see me that way touch me, I told him he's free to leave me or cheat on me whenever he likes because he's already done it. I didn't even want to be in this relationship but he wants us to and I honestly gave up on most things in life so it makes no difference to me. However, he can't touch me or see me nude or anything like that as it makes me feel cheap about myself. So he knows I wouldn't have consented to this and I remember the way he was talking and it's like he seized the opportunity to see me that way and then to F*ck me because I was too out of it. He took advantage of my situation but this isn't rape is it? Why does it feel like it though? I have been molested by my brother when I was 6-8 and I do remember snippets of it. And now this. It's all my fault.
    Grab a phone. Dial 101. Explain as above and let them decide who's at fault.

    Oh and if you haven't showered or cleaned up yet, you might want to wait as this will be a key piece of evidence.
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    (Original post by Jonny360)
    You're a lawyer then? If someone consents to sex then it is not rape, even if the person proceeds to get drunk.

    I cannot down a bottle of vodka and drive a car and then tell the judge that it's not my responsibility for my actions because I was drunk and not in control at the time. If I made the decision to drive, I face the consequences, whether I was drunk or not when I made that decision.
    We're talking about being so drunk you can't consent, not just being drunk. The OP says she appeared at best to be boarder line paraletic. To anyone who isn't pyschotic anyone at that level of drunken state lacks the ability to consent.
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    (Original post by there's too much love)

    You can't give pre-emptive consent before you lose the power to consent during sex.
    A very anti-male law if you ask me.
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    (Original post by there's too much love)
    We're talking about being so drunk you can't consent, not just being drunk. The OP says she appeared at best to be boarder line paraletic. To anyone who isn't pyschotic anyone at that level of drunken state lacks the ability to consent.
    Where on earth have you got the idea that I think non-consensual sex is not rape?? In my past messages I have said that consent must be given.

    You're literally arguing with me over an opinion that I don't even have.
    • #3
    #3

    (Original post by Final Fantasy)
    Grab a phone. Dial 101. Explain as above and let them decide who's at fault.

    Oh and if you haven't showered or cleaned up yet, you might want to wait as this will be a key piece of evidence.
    I don't want to press charges. I just want to escape this life I have right now. It's my fault really, I shouldnt have used again.
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    I don't want to press charges. I just want to escape this life I have right now. It's my fault really, I shouldnt have used again.
    You don't have to press charges, you can just talk to them. If that's too difficult for you, then make an appointment with your GP and talk to him/her (you can request gender) about it. Sometimes it really helps to just talk about these things to someone you don't know.
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    (Original post by Jonny360)
    Where on earth have you got the idea that I think non-consensual sex is not rape?? In my past messages I have said that consent must be given.

    You're literally arguing with me over an opinion that I don't even have.
    The part where you argued consent could be given before one is paralytic and still active when they are paralytic.
    That's not how it works.
    If your opinion has changed then great
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    (Original post by there's too much love)
    The part where you argued consent could be given before one is paralytic and still active when they are paralytic.
    That's not how it works.
    If your opinion has changed then great
    That's a completely different scenario. By that time consent has already been given.
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    (Original post by Jonny360)
    That's a completely different scenario. By that time consent has already been given.
    Psst:
    That isn't how consent works. Good luck in court.
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    (Original post by there's too much love)
    Psst:
    That isn't how consent works. Good luck in court.
    I don't believe the partner needs constant affirmation of consent every second of the act. If it's been given at the beginning, then the following acts are consensual.
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    As stated context plays a part, like she could of planned to sleep with him before she was drunk or when was barely tipsy, he could of still raped her in the sense she was out of it even if she knew what was happening but just didnt care.

    I knew a girl who used to text me every weekend wanting me to meet her in club(text me hours before) and I knew she wanted to sleep with me, the more she drank the more forward she was such as coming up to me when I was sitting down and grinding against me or even asking me to take her home, in fact the first time we met I had to walk her home and she stripped off in front of me and asked me to get in bed with her.

    Eventually she invited me round hers one night as her sister had bought me a present and her sister locked me in a room with her after she passed out, I slept on the floor and the next morning I heard her get up and talk to her sister "I must of had sex with him last night as I am all wet, I hope dan doesnt find out" (who I then found out 6 months after meeting her was her fiance)

    It never even crossed her mind she was raped, in fact we never had sex at all in reality.
    • #4
    #4

    (Original post by Jonny360)
    Drunk sex isnt rape.
    I think when you are drunk you are not in the right state of mind to consent. That's what I've heard, regardless if it was a male or female victim.




    Also, just because she laughed about it, doesn't mean she is okay with it. I have a friend, and I personally, joke about it, but that's just our way of coping with it.


    But if she consented to it, don't be a white knight for her.
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    I think when you are drunk you are not in the right state of mind to consent. That's what I've heard, regardless if it was a male or female victim.




    Also, just because she laughed about it, doesn't mean she is okay with it. I have a friend, and I personally, joke about it, but that's just our way of coping with it.


    But if she consented to it, don't be a white knight for her.
    What people get at though is if a woman has had even say a shot of weak drink that means she has alcohol in her system therefore it may affect her judgement so if the next morning she claims rape because he had as much as 1 weak shot it means she had some alcohol.

    And either way people see the man as taking advantage, if he has had no drinks and gets with a girl who may have had 1 he is taking advantage, if he has had a few and hes tipsy and goes home with a girl his judgement is clouded therefore it means he is at fault since he didnt have a clear head they can argue he misinterpreted her actions therefore it can be said he raped.

    Its all about shaming men, though people will argue its about shaming women.

    Years ago you would hear about men waking up to a girl and regretting it, that would imply he wouldnt get with her if he was sober but people just laughed and got on with it, a woman in the same scenario is seen as potentially raped so man get the worst end of it.
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    (Original post by Jonny360)
    Haha aren't you so funny and clever with your original fedora joke and all!

    What stereotype am I? Btw I've never once worn a fedora.
    Oh yeah and you weren't the epitome of quick wit with your "white knight" jibe?

    You are exactly the type of person who uses the term "white night". That is what I meant.

    Also, you didn't answer my question. What is explicit consent? You admitted it hasn't got to be verbal.
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    (Original post by Twinpeaks)
    Oh yeah and you weren't the epitome of quick whit with your "white knight" jibe?

    You are exactly the type of person who uses the term "white night".

    Also, you didn't my question. What is explicit consent? You admitted it hasn't got to be verbal.
    Really depends on the scenario but body language and signals are key indicators
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    (Original post by Jonny360)
    Really depends on the scenario but body language and signals are key indicators
    But body language is very difficult to be "explicit". Consent is very rarely "explicit".

    You said-

    "If someone consents to sex (meaning they say yes, knowingly referrring to sex) then its not rape, no matter drunk they are."

    What kind of explicit consent, can a person who is highly intoxicated give? You said "indicators such as body language", but that's not explicit at all.
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    (Original post by Rakas21)
    A very anti-male law if you ask me.
    The **** is wrong with you? You're not entitled to sex you bigoted idiot. God help any girls you're ever in contact with.
 
 
 
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